"Better watch out, 'cause I'm the assassin"

are the words that Bruce Dickinson is screaming at me through my 6-inch sub-woofer and 2-inch speakers as I am writing this post. 
And I just deleted about 450 words that stood here simply because it got to a point of being barely understandable to myself the next morning. Which is why I decided to not continue or god forbid publish that god-awful mess I had created and start anew. Normally I would just dump that kind of rambling on you and expect you to make sense of it, but I was so displeased with the way I had portrayed things in those now lost sentences that I could not bring myself to actually go on working on them. Hence the deletion. Anyway, it is not like I am keeping some grand literary creation from you, no, I am just protecting you from really really bad and disorganized writing with weird to no real points being made. But seeing as these words will never reappear again, there is no real point in talking about them here either, so I will now go on with this post.

I am unsure if I'll be able to find a good topic today though, my last post was not that long ago and my inspiration seems to have been drained by it a little to be honest. Plus I've actually started to work on a "trial novel" so to say, which is proving to be quite time consuming and taking a lot of my energy and creativity. But I am not going to forget you guys, and so I decided to sit down today and not work on aforementioned novel for a while but write this entry and vent a little about something that still needs figuring out. 
I have to say though that when I started writing this blog I thought I had a lot more to say and could go on easily filling pages for ever and ever, but it is actually getting harder to find themes to wrap my words around than it used to be. Then again I may just not be in the mood right now or something like that, but I doubt it to be honest, as I've outlined in an earlier post it is usually a bad mood that induces the best kinds of creative outputs. And I am not in a bad mood. But maybe a bad mood to write? Is there such a thing? I don't know where one could find that out and am too lazy to skim through the masses of articles and essays debating the existence of a writers block, I've read too many of those in the past half year. Yet I am still not able to form my own opinion on the subject and can not for the life of me figure out how to figure it out and it's driving me a little crazy. Just a little though. It's not like a dominant nuisance within my existence, just a little speck that keeps nudging me every now and then when I am wondering why I sometimes feel able and sometimes unable to produce nicely formulated sentences that have more meaning than mere mundane statements barely resembling coherent lines of thought. I am quite puzzled by this to say the least, and am at some point at some time going to get to the bottom of it, but in all likelihood not today and not anytime soon, but as soon as I do I will publish the results here and revolutionize writing forever. Or maybe I'll just forget about it. 
Either way, this is definitely something that has somewhat peaked my interest these past weeks but I have never had so little inspiration that I actually included it in a post. Well, today I have apparently reached a new low, and so the paragraph above here came into being. What can I say, shit tends to happen. The self-loathing is not as strong in me as it may appear to be in these sentences though, I am just setting ridiculously high standards and expectations for myself that I have so far not be able to reach in any form or shape. Which is good, because it means that I am always striving for further excellence and have not exhausted my full potential quite yet. Perhaps I never will, but perhaps I won't even have to, but who knows. Nobody knows... Nobody knows but me... Anyone remember that song? Is that even a song? But whatever, back to topic. Well that actually kind of says it all doesn't it, nobody knows and no-one could possibly know and that's the great adventure blah blah blah. I mean come on. We all know what would follow if I went down that road, essentially non-sense about life being a journey with an unknown end and life being the mean to get there that should be exploited to its fullest extent because the journey that is the mean is in itself the end and so on and so forth. And that is not the least bit satisfying to read or write because it doesn't hold any existential answers with substantial potential to enrich you, your life, or your way of thinking. 

So I'm not touching that topic with a ten-foot pole today. Instead I'll focus on something different alltogether. What I intend to center my focus on this time is the issue of mental stability, normality, and the so-called abnormality that is often treated with dangerously lethal and mind-altering pharmaceutical poison. I am not saying that people with psychoses or similar problems should not be receiving medication, I am not saying that these diseases are not completely real. All that I am saying is that there is a line that is rather thin between simply not being the way one is expected to be and actually being insane in the membrane. I mean, this is especially an issue when you're using psychoactive substances as part of your life-style, the assumption is automatically that you must be deranged and your brain destroyed by drugs. And that you need more drugs to "get better" again. Isn't that bullshit? And isn't it equally nonsensical that once you get busted with such substances, you get the choice of getting locked up in jail with rapists and murderers, or getting locked up in therapy with criminally insane rapists and murderers? That we have sunk so fucking low is just mind-boggling to me. I have touched on the problems created by prohibition before, I know, but this aspect of it occurred to me again today and did so with such intensity that I really felt compelled to write about it. So, let's get back to it then, shall we? Let us take an example to illustrate: A friend of mine is a completely healthy and normal young adult, he has finished his education and was about to start working at a company making money and so on, his life was developing quite nicely. Along came the state and its repressive executive organs, and found a couple of magic truffles (yeah, truffles, like the ones that grow in any forest in Central Europe) and a few grams of grass (yeah, the wild-growing weed). And now my friend is in a therapy where he doesn't belong with criminally insane assholes, with the therapists trying to force-feed him insanely hard medication that I myself have tried. Trying this shit made me realize how fucked up the entire system is, it was harder than most illegal drugs I have tried so far, and completely debased my inner make-up, changing my entire personality for a couple of days. No illegal narcotic has ever done anything even similarly gruesome to my psyche. So why the fuck are we still relying on this system?

Well, the explanation to this is much more logical than I would like to admit. There is a percentage of people in these therapies who are there because their excessive drug abuse has cause their psychological make-up to derail and in these cases aforementioned "medicine" is actually use- and helpful. The problem here is that those there because of penalties of the prohibition are thrown into the same pot with those described before, which causes normal people who've enjoyed psychoactive substances and simply got caught to be turned into dulled zombies because of the drugs they were giving, turning their brains to mush much more than illegal substances ever could. And that is what's wrong with the entire concept, and would be easily avoidable, like so many things, by the legalization of such substances. Then these institutions would be filled with people actually needing help and perhaps even pills in order to get in touch with their inner-self and achieve a feeling of mental stability once again.
But of course not, because drugs are bad, and doing drugs would be bad, and you wouldn't want to be bad by doing drugs, 'cause that would be bad, mkay? Gotta love South Park. But I am once again getting off track.
The vital point I want to get across though is that the prohibition of psychoactive recreation-enhancers is once again proving to be more harmful to those partaking in such pastimes than the substances themselves, making the entire assumption that such a system would protect the citizens and minimize possible harm being inflicted to them fallacious. I do realize that I have made this point before, but I feel the need to emphasize it constantly because most people seem to still be stuck in the 30s-thinking that Weed=Heroin=LSD, which in 2014 is just a sign of incredible backwardness and inability to adapt and think outside the box, and it is just sad to see just how many people, and especially people in power still think this way. I mean we're seeing such powerful movements, such intelligent and well-respected people speaking up for either marijuana or other drugs and their legalization, and still the corrupted and greedy governments controlled, among others, by powerful pharmaceutical industries are still unwilling to give in and finally listen to the anguished cries of wrongfully criminalized citizens. "Controlled" - by that I don't mean an evil illuminati-like secret puppet-master pulling the strings of all governments, but rather that most political parties' campaigns and other funding is 'sponsored' by various large industrial and financial players, meaning that they have a very high amount of influence on the politicians' doing within the party, and therefore also on the world-leaders seeing as no party without substantial 'sponsoring' ever won any elections, or very rarely to say the least. And that is the problem in any so-called modern-day 'democracy'. The word in itself is composed of the ancient Greek "demos", which means as much as "common people", and "kratos", which essentially translate to "rule". So it can be translated as "the ruling of the common people", meaning that the citizens themselves should be empowered and the representative government should enforce their wants and protect them from harm. But the will of the common folk is too often, almost exclusively overlooked and undermined by those in power, and the will of the small percentage of industrial corporate giants with enough spare cash is too often enforced and adapted. 
Which once again leads us to the root of all evil: Money. It's impossible to opt out of the monetary system and maintain a standard of living worthy of a dignified human being, but it's at the same time the exact same system that corrupts and destroys our integrity from inside, slowly turning us into something worse than any junkie, always chasing for the next dollar and striving for the highest possible accumulation of wealth imaginable, until we realize the emptiness and shallow instability in our life, but at that point it's too late. And well, to quote Snoop Lion: "Money makes a man, and that's a crime/ If we all were rich we'd spent more time/". Not to rehash his words, but this sentence holds a lot of truth. If we didn't have the constant pressure of maintaining a certain amount of valuable assets in our life, we would spend much more time focusing on learning, loving, laughing, and simply living. We could get out of the hassle of worrying about paying bills and simply indulge in life to the fullest extent, take time to cherish those we love. But that is unfortunately an utopian fantasy for obvious and unfortunately very logical reasons. Unless we'd go back to simple trading, like a watch for three hams or something like that. But then again, we would need to define which item is worth which other item(s), and for that we'd need some sort of centralized institution to regulate the exchange rates, and we'd back to an abuse-able and possibly corrupt-able system, which is what we were trying to avoid in the first place. It's a vicious cycle, isn't it? But well, if we can't change it we can at least use it for our own purposes and defy its laws by working within to be able to live outside. And I know that I have said the exact same thing before, but I could not think of a better way to formulate it, and since I am reopening a topic anyway I can also plagiarize my own works. And fuck quoting, my words are mine to use and re-use as often as it pleases me. 

But it is getting somewhat late, and I will in all likelihood go to the first lectures I have in the morning. Plus I know for sure that I will have a hard time falling asleep today, so I am really considering at least lying down pretty soon in order to trick my body into sleep-mode. Or I'll just lay awake for a few hours before I fall into a somewhat psychotic half-sleep that leaves me drifting in- and out of actual dreams, which is not even remotely relaxing, but a dreadful and in itself tiring experience that usually leaves me with close to no power and motivation the next day, and is something I should definitely avoid. And seeing as I have prepared enough smoke-able material I am really hoping to be fine this time, and retain the ability of functioning properly the next day so that I can attend all lectures. 
Although I really have to say that attending an English lesson in an all English study seems kind of silly to me, I mean, proper command of the English language should be a requirement for international studies whose sole teaching language is in fact English. But this is not the first time I have been annoyed by English classes, I have always had a certain aversion towards them, mainly due to the fact that I could not be bothered with doing anything but still maintained an almost perfect grade which really really pissed my teachers off. Because they couldn't let me fail but couldn't get me to participate the way they wanted to either. It was quite fun for me actually in retrospect, but I remember that during the times themselves I was thoroughly pissed by this and just wanted English lessons to disappear from my life forever. I mean, I obviously enjoyed creative or essay writing, but there were almost always boundaries or themes to adhere to which really took the wind out of my sails. But I usually managed to skirt around these 'rules' and create something well-written but subliminally offensive to the teacher. Still, I am usually more than annoyed by to me nonsensical English lessons that always seem to take place in whatever level of education I happen to be. And that is fucking displeasing. I do not want to demean all English lessons though, e.g. the correct format for specific types of letters and similar things are topics simply necessary to be learned and do not come naturally. But things like grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation come easily to me, I have never ever had to learn any grammar rules or anything like that. I just feel the way the words need to be, and it's this way for all languages I speak. I mean of course for a completely new language I need to have a look at basic sentences and the likes in order to get a feeling for it, i.e. for Chinese. But once I got that feeling for the prose of the language and the way it needs to be used I am able to formulate proper sentences without learning any further rules.
It's always been like this. For mathematics and things based on it the exact opposite applies though. I mean I get the logic behind the exercises, but I can for the life of me not figure out formulas, can not calculate in my head, and am completely useless for all tasks that require complex computations. Well, it's always Ying&Yang, up and down, and a balance of power as the British would put it, so if there are a number of things that one excels at there is an equal number of things one, put rakishly, quite simply sucks at. And that's life, many great philosophers have already said and formulated it, but I'll stick to the words of Mick Jagger: "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need", which quite simply sums up the way life goes. What you want is not always what you'll get, sometimes you'll get the exact opposite, but you'll usually get by and get what you need to, well, get by.

And this pretty much concludes this post, which once again turned out to be quite long. I am getting more and more fond of writing for an eternity and just letting my thoughts go, because I am no longer in real need of thinking about proper ways to formulate delicately as I did in the beginning, I now have an approximate idea of what I can write and how, I have gotten a certain feeling (in italic because I have to emphasize that it's a subjective emotion exclusively felt by me at least in this moment and in my near surroundings. I do realize I can not possibly be the only person thinking that, but for the sake of this entry I am) about my writings on here and am now at relative ease when composing a post, meaning that my mind is no longer hung up on finding nice metaphors and similes or words or formulations, but rather focused on creating content on a certain level, leading to hopefully even more enjoyable texts for you. But then again I have never published anything that I did not think of as being of adequately high quality, so the difference may not be as noticeable whilst reading, but whilst writing it most definitely is. Anyway, I am getting lost in ramblings once again, and will now (finally) leave you be with some music to enjoy:

Harry Chapin - Cat's In The Cradle
-> Wow, I can not believe I didn't feature this classic on here yet! And to all of you naive souls with not enough musical knowledge out there: No, this is not a Cat Stevens song. This is a beautiful and deep track by Harry Chapin, and somewhat relates to the tangent about money and its time-consumption somewhere above, seeing as with the dough out of the picture the whole story would have been quite different. Anyway, great, meaningful and simply dazzling tune... Enjoy!

Black Label Society - Fire It Up
-> Another great song that has not quite stood the test of time like the one featured above yet, but still is a great tune. Gotta love Zakk Wylde and the guys, Black Label Society had always had a certain outlaw kind of flair, and that coupled with their awesome Heavy Metal music just makes them irresistible to me, meaning that I had to share this song with you, so... Enjoy!

Snoop Lion - No Guns Allowed (feat. Cori B. & Drake)
-> First off let me start by saying that I thoroughly despise Drake as a rapper and probably also as a person although I can't say that with certainty. I mean, yeah his flow is somewhat 'special' and yeah he is on time unlike many may claim in this song, but he just doesn't deliver the emotions and rhythmic variations that this track so clearly offers, and that's just bad to say the least. But secondly, I want to say how fucking great this song is. I don't give a fuck about questions of Snoop's authenticity in this case, I don't give a fuck about it being mainstream and way too well-known. No, this is one powerful piece of beautifully sad music coupled with a deep message that America should definitely start wrapping its ugly head around. But leaving all preaching aside, this song is really chill and amazingly melodious, so... Enjoy!

Ice Cube - Today Was A Good Day
-> I did not feature this song yet? Did I just miss that whilst skimming through my blog right now or did I actually not put this song on here yet? Shame on me! This song is so old-school and awesome, just describes the rough realities of a poverty-stricken part of the population but in an essentially funny or at least ironic way. By portraying mundane or simply 'normal' things for the middle- and upper-class citizens as being the requirements for the day being good where Ice Cube is from, he shows the social inequalities and lack of perspective and law there. And the song itself is really really chill, I simply love sparking up to it, so do the same and... Enjoy!

2Pac feat. Snoop Dogg - 2 Of Amerikaz Most Wanted 
-> Such a classic and epic collaboration of two of the biggest MCs that Hip Hop of the early nineties had to offer, it needed featuring here and I am again disappointed with myself for not having put it up here earlier! Starting with blatant disrespect to Biggie, and continuing to one of the most awesome, funky, and simply cool tracks. Really a gem I stumbled upon, should have been here already, but well it is now, so... Enjoy!

Flux Pavilion - Dropkick
-> This is apparently a rip from a set that Flux and N'Type played for the Rinse.FM radio station. And as you know I adore Flux Pavilion's music anyway, so I had to put this on here as soon as I found it, this drop, this nicely melodic yet fucking heavy bass-sound prevalent throughout most parts of this rather short, but notwithstanding extremely awesome song is just too great to be put into mere words, so... Enjoy!

As said before, this post turned out to be almost as long as the last one, which was not intended but nice to see nevertheless. I was actually planning to release it while it was still March, but well, April happened all of a sudden and now it's the first post for it, which is not necessarily a bad thing but was not my intention meaning that I am kind of grumpy right now. And by the way, quick word about April's Fools: Fucking stop it. 98% of these pranks are not even remotely funny, most of them extremely annoying and nerve-rattling, and some of them even downright dangerous, so please for fuck's sake leave it be. Just one year of peaceful silence and no nuisances on the first of April would be nice. That's all I'm asking for. 

Peace!

So, here we are

at the very top of western civilization. And is there anything to take away from this maddening scheme that is our time? I am not so sure that there actually is.
I mean we have all these amazing achievements, mankind has come such a long way since the first ape decided to walk on two legs, but still I am ambivalent when it comes to defining what worth there actually is in our existence. And I am not even going to touch the whole big question thing here. I am simply trying to wrap my mind around the ego that us humans have developed in the course of evolution. All we're doing is fucking, drinking, and slowly killing each other, we're essentially playing GTA with the world. And I'm not even sure of that.

What I am sure of though is that I am sitting on my couch right now, showcasing my inner makings to an anonymous public with my roommate snoring on an air-mattress next to me, slowly drifting through various stratospheres whilst watching Californication and smoking. My eyes are somewhat focused on the screen of my laptop and on the TV at the same time, and I can't help but feel a certain resemblance between myself and Hank Moody. I know it's fucking cliche, and I also know that everybody likes to think that they can identify with their favorite fictional character, but goddamn, I have been where this guy is portrayed as being in my own way, so I feel somewhat of a strange relation between myself and the idea of "Hank Moody". Not the person per se obviously, seeing as we're talking about a fictional character, but much more the idea of the guy. The free-lancing writer, the crazed, erratic, gonzo-influenced author, the anti-hero essentially. The other extreme so to say. The anti-gravitational pole, the scapegoat, the punching bag.

I think that we all create our lives in a way so that we are the protagonist of our own little tale, we all want to be the martyr, the chosen one, we all want recognition in some way or another.  What we're all essentially striving for is immortality of sorts, be it by monetary success, literary excellence, musical masterpieces, or anything else that can enable us to buy a place in the expensive neighborhood called 'history' forever. By expensive I do not mean any actual value, but rather the effort and sacrifice that is necessary to achieve such a place, the relentless pursuit of having one's name remembered by the world that costs its high price in its own way, simply because remembrance is almost exclusively created in destruction and despair. In order to be known you need to have suffered, seems to be the most common denominator found among ïtoday's audiences, which is pretty rough on those creating entertainment because albeit leading to works of staggering genius, these rough patches that are the root of excellence do fuck you up quite intensely over time, and results are usually just a coincidental side-effect of these lows, which in themselves are not defined by a feeling of contributing to the literary pedigree by using the blues to create an epitaph to these periods of sadness, but rather just by wallowing in narcissistic despair and self-loathing until the brink of collapse, at which point words are the only thing keeping one from entering an eternal drug and drinking binge. Still, these fruits grown from sad soil using depressed fertilizers are usually the rarest literary gems that authors have to offer, making the fear and loathing leading up to their creation a necessity for actual greatness, which is a pretty hard blow on the writing and entertainment community seeing as no-one really wants to suffer for an essentially unknown audience, but everybody has to in order to achieve true greatness, at least that's what it seems like.

But this tangent about immortality through depressive genius just coincidentally appeared above to be honest. I am still unsure, once again, about the actual points I was thinking of making when I started to write this about two days ago in a hazed frenzy in the middle of the night, completely strung out and manically trying to recognize the letters I was typing, which I did up to a point of complete desperation, then I stopped continuing working until now. But even in retrospect I am quite contend with what I wrote, I believe I touched on some interesting issues in there, but this is not the time for self-flattery. No, I think I will now address a different topic altogether, namely that of communication.

Sounds boring enough when put like that, but I can assure you that it's not. Think about it, in all of its aspects. We communicate to express things in a way that other individuals can understand and respond to, that much is obvious. But why is it so hard still, after a few million years of practice, to actually say what we want to say in a way that people understand? I mean, the biggest problems usually arise from miscommunication, and its the simplest things, the smallest of words, the slightest of mistakes that can set into motion a chain-reaction of unforeseeable events leading up to huge altercations or similar nuisances. And why? Most words aren't even that ambiguous in themselves, but it's the context in which they are used combined with the humans natural need to over-analyze and interpret utterances by others that renders them indecipherable to some, making these individuals prone to misunderstandings, which is not their fault per se, but they are rather, in most cases that is, to be seen as mere victims of circumstance. But unfortunately, there is an equal amount of people either too stupid to understand the actual essence of what they are being told, or too biased by their own preconceived notions to even try to understand anything but what they want to understand, making fruitful communication damn near impossible. We have now essentially made out that there are people that are enticed by circumstance to misunderstand, that there are people too stupid to understand, and that there are people who don't want to understand what is being said because of their own prejudice. So, why do we even bother communicating anymore? 

The answer to that is, as many things are, based on the basic human need for social recognition by others, we are social animals after all, driven by the instinct to express and impress ourselves and others, meaning that even though most people we will encounter will not understand, not properly at least, what we're trying to tell them we will still keep on uttering sentences and opinions in their proximity because of the slight chance that at least one of them will be able to grasp the intended meaning. Because we need our personal meaning to be conveyed to other people, we want others to understand the essence behind the sentences, but unfortunately the understanding usually does not match the intentions, which is just sad because messages and opinions are easily deluded simply by misinterpretation, by ambiguity. 

Even these words right here will not sound to you the way they sound to me, will not convey to you what they convey to me, and will not reach you the way I mean them to, and I am very aware of that. But I know what I want to say, and I know that the people who feel as I feel can usually understand underlying themes and subtle references in these texts, and those who do not feel that way are not meant to understand anyway and will therefore read and understand whatever fits best into their narrow perception, and not what I actually want to say, which is fine, because it separates the wheat from the chaff, separates those that see actual value in what I write from those just along for the ride.

"The ride". The inexplicable yet omnipresent journey, the basic drive forward that compels us all to move towards an unidentified goal. This crazy roller-coaster of life that jolts us up and down in completely randomized and erratic patterns with seemingly no logical adjacency. We all know it to be true, life is composed of its highs and lows that in the long-run cancel each other out to create a comfortable drift in retrospect. In retrospect mind you, an up always feels like an up, and a down always feels like a down, but looking back it was all just somewhere in the middle. And isn't that exactly what we're programmed to be striving for? The passive middle, the inactive acceptance, the elemination of all the extremes, a dulling numbness of the senses? Searching for what's right or what's true is no longer perceived as necessary, no, just finding what works, however badly, has become the most prestigious achievement attainable. But unfortunately that's nicely aligning with my point about mediocrity being the end that is in itself a mean to obtain personal gratification, meaning that I am actually part of the root of this problem to some extent. But then again maintaining that level of constant mediocrity essentially boils down to being well above average in order to be able to seem mediocre enough so as to not having to do more than needed and expected at that level, which in turn means that the search for right and true has already been done personally, just not publicly. Notwithstanding it is just small percentage where this applies, most people seeming to be fine with what works and allegedly not searching for truth or rightfulness are actually like that and do not pretend to be just to have to do less. Or maybe we just don't know it yet.

But anyway. I have been drifting around between topics and ideas way too much in this post, which is why I'll put a stop to this madness now, and leave you be with some music, as always: 

Iron Maiden - No Prayer For The Dying
-> Great track from the Maiden' album of the same name, beautiful guitars and vocal, legendary band, and the rest of the album is definitely worth listening to as well if you haven't yet, so... Enjoy! 

Leonard Cohen - Hallejulah (Rufus Wrainwright Cover)
-> I first heard Cohen's original version back in the 2000 or so when my I was riding in my mum's car to somewhere, heard it again in the Watchmen movie like eight years later, and now found this awesome cover of it. And albeit not being the least bit religious I find this song to be amazingly beautiful and somewhat inspiring, so... Enjoy!

Bob Marley - Jammin' (Live Version)
-> Unfortunately I could not find the studio version of this on the mobile version of YouTube, don't know if it's there in the desktop version, but it doesn't really matter, you all know this song anyway, and it's an all-time classic that needed featuring on here, so... Enjoy!

Alborosie - Kingston Town
-> I haven't listened to this song in what feels like forever, a friend of my showed it to me in 2009 or 10 I believe, during a weekend of camping that consisted solely of getting too messed up for words, which was fun, and the song reminds me of that and is in itself really awesome, so... Enjoy! 

Keizer - Niet Haten
-> First of all, I want to emphasize that I neither condone nor endorse the whole "hashtag" craze that has taken over the internet, I am thoroughly despised by it actually. Nevertheless, Keizer is a fucking beast and one of the fastet European rappers to date, make sure to listen to the complete track, the third part is the most mind-blowing (starts at 1:50 for all you impatient people), but the whole song is pretty cool, so... Enjoy!

Ice Cube - Hello (ft. Mc Ren & Dr. Dre)
-> Did I put this on here already at some point? If I did I'm sorry, but I don't think so... Anyway, awesome classic track, first heard whilst watching the "Up In Smoke" Tour on DVD and on numerous occassions since... Enjoy! 

So, this turned out to be a somewhat disorganized post, dealing with my multiple lines of thought throughout, but I do hope it's still enjoyable, I completed it in multiple sittings and usually in an altered state of mind, so it may seem somewhat erratic at some points, but I think I managed to mostly keep it together. Anyway, I am uploading this from my mobile phone in a Coffeeshop, and seeing as I have never done that before I don't know whether there are any adverse effects on layout or links when accessing it from a PC, please let me know if that is the case!

Peace! 

Edit: it was the case, the spacings and paragraphs were off, but I took care of that now. And btw, that kind of thing is what the comment section is there for, someone could have said that it looks weird, there were at least 8 people that read it before I fixed it, and in my opinion it was clearly visible that the spacing etc. were not the way they're supposed to, but maybe that's just me...  

Wow...

... I have actually completely forgotten to post for almost an entire month, I mean, I know I said I wouldn't update regularly but god damn, an entire fucking month? And the worst part is that I am the only one to even have noticed, meaning that this blog is obviously not getting the attention I think it should, but, whatever, this has become more of a way for me to vent and kill time anyway, so... yeah...

Be that as it may, I was browsing though the "UKF Dubstep" YouTube channel and whilst getting my fucking brain blown out of my skull due to the sheer overload of awesomeness I realized that I had gone back to posting these songs on my Facebook page, which is something I did not want to do anymore seeing as I have this blog to do so; this realization made me navigate away from Facebook without posting the song I was just listening to and I started typing this entry without having chosen a topic or even having the slightest clue about the content I want to cover today, meaning that this is going to be extremely random, but I guess I might manage to get some sort of structured thought process in here after all.

So, it is the season of joy and understanding, Christmas... While I generally do not have a problem with holidays, and this one is no exception, I have to say that I am getting sick and tired of this fucking argument about whether one should say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" in public settings that keeps coming around every single god damn year. I mean, seriously people, what is your fucking problem?
(Before I continue, a quick FYI: I tend to say "Happy Holidays" when it comes to strangers, because you can never know if they're not Jewish or one of those hyper-sensitive atheists that are like "Merry Christmas??? Are you trying to push your beliefs on me you ignorant cunt??", but that's just like, my opinion, man...)
Why is it always such a big fucking deal? I mean, yeah, church and state are separated, so some people take that as an argument as to why public organizations and such should not be allowed to use "Merry Christmas" for promotional purposes or similar public activities, but by that logic, why the fuck should we be allowed to have holidays around Christmas time then? Wouldn't New Years suffice? But New Years is somewhat religious too, ain't it? I mean we base the way we count our years on the alleged birth of someone we can not be even sure existed and no one complains about that, so why complain about a harmless, friendly "Merry Christmas"?! I believe that you see what I am getting at, this argument can also be turned the other way round, saying that religion is such a big part of our culture so banning the phrase "Merry Christmas" from public settings isn't right either, blah blah fucking blah.... In the end what it all comes down to is people trying to hinder other people from saying what they want, and I do believe that in most democratic constitutions or similar pieces of paper something called, uhm, the "freedom of speech" is at least mentioned somewhere, making this whole argument nonsense, seeing as you have to allow people to say whatever the fuck they want (as long as it doesn't incite harm to society and does not impair other peoples rights imho), including "Merry Christmas", which is just really NOT A BIG FUCKING DEAL GOD DAMN IT!

I am having fun with this topic as you can see, Christmas always gets me nicely pumped up to rant about various things, which is not only due to the fact that I am a cynical asshole with no aspiration to see the good things, but also due to those fucking Christmas decorations, and markets, and music, and carolers, and all of these little things that make the holidays so enjoyable to some... To me they're more like the offspring of Satan (no this is not a typo), two filthy prostitutes and some sort of demonic hell-spawn wearing a red fucking costume! I have to admit. when the whole thing starts I am in rather good spirits, I even catch myself whistling along to some stupid Christmas song sometimes, but as soon as the second day of this madness is upon us I have already completely lost all spirits and am just dragging myself through the hellishly bright, annoyingly happy streets filled with people that seem to want to infect me with their totally uncalled for happiness, carolers that want to sing the same fucking tunes over and over again every single year, slowly lulling mankind into a buying frenzy that it only awakes from sometime in January to then realize that money is tight now, because the decorations and shit that were already at home weren't enough, no, new stuff had to be bought as soon as the first fucking snowflake fell to the ground at the same time as all Christmas ornaments were suddenly transported to our realm from hell. Yes, I love holidays, and, yes, I like spending a nice quiet evening sitting around the Christmas tree with my family, but I could decapitate, revive, rape, blow up and then stab every single human being walking around the streets at -10 degrees (Celsius) with a moronic smile on their god damn faces holding three shopping bags full of, well, expensive garbage whilst singing some fucking generic Christmas tune like "Last Christmas" or fucking "Jingle Bells"!! Here is the official rule that people need to get drilled through their skulls with a fucking jackhammer:

All generic Christmas songs can be sung only ONCE every year or Santa will not deliver presents but start shooting shit up!

So, after having now successfully shown all of you the annoying side of Christmas, let's get real for a second here:
This is a great time of the year that you should use to cherish with those close to you, not only receive but also give, and maybe even take a second to go do a good deed, buy a homeless guy a sandwich and a blanket or something, I mean, we can all afford iPads and all kinds of expensive BS for ourselves and our families, so why not do a little something to people that can not even afford a place to stay and have to spend the season of joy and understanding outside, alone, in the cold and harsh winter nights. Christmas is not about buying presents and singing annoying-ass songs, it is the one fucking time in the year where we're supposed to act selfless and not selfish, and many seem to have forgotten that, which is really sad and really sickens me!

So, in that spirit, I wish all of my readers happy holidays and/or a merry Christmas, I hope that you all have some special people in your lives to enjoy it with!

Peace :)

....and here is the music:

Flux Pavilion - Hold Me Close
-> as you guys should know by now, I fucking love Flux Pavilion, and this is another amazing piece of music that will destroy your speakers and leave you staring at a wall with a blank stare for an hour or so before your brain is able to process what just happened... Enjoy!

Flux Pavilion - Freeway
-> Flux again, but this time a really really chill song, I could listen to for hours with my eyes closed just contemplating the thought of being alive... Gives me goosebumps every time... Just awesome!!

Flux Pavilion feat. Steve Aoki - Steve French
-> And one more Flux song, this time with Steve Aoki, of whom I am not a huge fan, but this song is pretty great and the video is so trippy, I freaking love it, looks to me as if they just dropped a little acid, drew what they saw or thought, and then made a video to it that will blow your mind if watched high ;)

Sonis & Stratagem - Jinglestep
-> Ok, I now I have made my opinion on generic Christmas tunes very clear above, but here is the exception: sick fucking dubstep remixes of said songs!! And although this one takes a while to get in and gets kind of weird in the middle, I still think it's pretty cool and the drops are just insane...

Ice Cube - Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It
-> I have no clue why I didn't put that one here earlier... Ice Cube is one of the best out there, and this song is fucking awesome... 'nuff said!

Yellowman - We WIsh You A Reggae Christmas
-> I know that this is not a particularly well thought-out reggae remix of the song, but it's a god damn reggae remix, so it just had to be in here, and if you don't like it, well, there is nothing you can do about it being here, so just enjoy it :)

Billy Talent - Burn The Evidence
-> no relation to Christmas, but I really like that song, it has got its emotional moments, it has got its angry moments, and the lead singers voice is just fucking amazing...

So, this concludes this entry, I hope there was some music that you liked in today's selection of songs :)

Oh and P.S.: The vote on whether or not I should change what I'm doing ended with two people being for an increased amount of wisdom and two being for keeping up what I've been doing so far, so no big changes will be made by me, big thanks and shout out to the four people who took the time to vote, which only takes a few second, but apparently that's more time than most people want to spend, making polls like this a thing of the past...

Good morning...

...people, how are you doing this lovely morning? And yeah, 11:30 is morning by my definition, sue me :D

So, I just got up like thirty minutes ago, did some sport (yeah, I actually do a few push-ups, sit-ups, etc. every morning...) and am now sitting here again, typing random letters on my keyboard.
The reason I am writing today is, well, there is no real reason to be honest, but I wanted to write something, so I though that my blog may be the best place to do so, but, anyway, I'll be talking music today I think, maybe add a little pieces of insight here and there, but the focus will be music.

Today, I would like to talk about music that was released before 2000, namely good old Hip Hop music à la Method Man, Redman, Busta Rhymes, Big Daddy Kane, Geto Boyz, Ice Cube, Coolio, 2Pac, Wu-Tang Clan, etc. etc.
And even though I'm going to sound like a grumpy old man, this music was so much better than most of what is being made today, at least in the same genre! Nowadays everybody that can play an electronic, life- and soulless beat and talk to it in a monotone manner is considered to be a 'rapper', and auto-tuned little girls saying words they don't even understand melodically on electronically created garbage are considered to be 'pop-stars' and 'singers'.
I mean, what has music been reduced to? Unfortunately, it seems as if it was reduced to nothing but a simple commodity, an economic entity which only fulfills the purpose of maximizing profits with no regard to real musicians, and people who would want to listen to real music. Now, I am not saying that there is literally no good music being released at all anymore, but I am saying that the amount of such music is constantly receding, making it really hard to listen to anything that was released recently.
But let's get more genre-specific: I mean, what the hell is going on in Hip Hop anyway? Right now, I'm listening to Big Daddy Kane, and it couldn't remind me more of how disappointed I am with today's Hip Hop.

Firstly, nowadays it's not really Hip Hop anymore, it's just Rap. I myself don't DJ or break dance, and can not draw for shit, but I still try to somewhat incorporate all four elements into my music, and be it only verbally, but that sentiment apparently got lost at some point, which is really sad for the entire Hip Hop culture, seeing as the Rap element is now being pushed to a point where it's just pop, and the other elements are being neglected.
Secondly, what is it with the sell-outs? I mean, let's take e.g. Ludacris. I remember on "Theater of the mind", he was rapping about not giving a fuck about money and doing his thing for Hip Hop. Well, a couple of years later he starred in Justin Bieber's 'Baby' music video and even rapped a part on the song. I mean, you can hate or love Bieber, I don't give a fuck about him, but Luda's move there just shows how far his integrity actually goes, and that's just awful to see as a fan.
Thirdly, why the hell are people using the same topics again and again? I mean, yeah, bitches, cash, weed and violence were always a big topic in the Hip Hop community, but I remember a time when even these stale topics were packaged into intelligent, funny and creative songs and lyrics. Today it's just like the artists don't even care anymore and just try to press as many swearwords into a sentence as humanely possible. There was a time when swearwords and above-mentioned topics were cleverly used to show the problems of the poverty-stricken, 'ghetto' inhabitants and of course to provoke the general public.
But nowadays one could publish the most gruesome murderous thoughts, and would only provoke a shrug by doing so, seeing as the obscenity has been pushed too far, and now people are not responding to it anymore.
Lastly, I would like to dedicate a paragraph to the cause of all these developments: MTV, VIVA, and the entire corporate music industry. These people at some point realized that they could make money of of young and talented musicians, which was actually good, because at the time the artists were actually talented, and made actual music. But then, I do not know what happened, but something must have happened, seeing as suddenly, these people started realizing that when pandering to the lowest intellectual denominator of society, they could actually make money with untalented artists that look good. And so they did.
And thereby erased all creativity and originality out of popular music, and even worse, turned a lot of "underground" (not mainstream is meant by that) genres into popular music, and then destroyed their essence, making today's music the ugly, corporate, sell-out mess that it is.

Well, this was actually somewhat 'food for thought', just with a musical topic, wasn't it? I did not plan on that, but why not, it's still focused on music, and I have heard from a few people that the 'food for thought' segment was what they had enjoyed most on my blog so far, so I guess that this here will also be received well by you guys, but please let me know!

And in that light, I hope that, if you hadn't realized it before, this post opened your eyes a little and makes you think next time you turn on your media player or access Youtube.

Furthermore, as always, here are some links to some of the first-mentioned artists music:

2Pac - Cradle to the Grave
-> awesome song, legendary artist... 'nuff said! "See the doctor tried to slap me, but I slapped him back"

Coolio - Smokin' Stix
-> Hahaha hell yeah! Great track, great artist (people are way too hung up on 'Gangstas Paradise', this guy has so many great songs besides that!). "Who got the Bong? Who got the Bong? Somebody, everybody, who got the Bong?"

Wu-Tang Clan - C.R.E.A.M.
-> No words needed here, Wu-Tang Clan on their debut "36 Chambers"; classic track, simply and purely awesome! "Cash rules everything around me! Cream! Dollar, dollar bill, yo!"

Busta Rhymes - Rhymes Galore
-> Ooooh yeah, this song is so great, I'm really starting to run out of adjectives to describe all these awesome pieces of music :P "Mayday mayday, mayday mayday, walk bared foot all day like kunta kinte, so what you say, what is you doin you walkin this way, I burn you like I'm smokin a jalis with helta censa" 

Method Man - Release Yo' Delf
-> Another classic track, gotta love Method Man, great song! "Emotion, rushin through your down street vicinity, blunt smoke in the air reveals my identity"

Redman - Smoke Buddah
-> Hahaha, I fucking love this song, always gets my mood up, and is just awesome! "Ey yo, I got a slight problem, I smoke weed too much!"

Big Daddy Kane - 'Nuff Respect
...'nuff said.

And I needed to put one song here that doesn't really fit in as well, so : Snoop Dogg - My Medicine, which is Snoop with Willie Nelson making country music about weed, which I think went really well, I like the song, but this is really something you either like or hate somehow, so, if you don't know the song yet, go and figure out which one it is ;)

And that concludes today's entry, I hope you could enjoy reading it, and, as usually, the comment section is awaiting your feedback/discussions/comments, so feel free to do so!

Peace!