About Me

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I am a dedicated and ambitious aspiring freelance journalist, blogger, and writer. My main asset is my international background - I was born in Germany, then moved to France, and proceeded to grow up in China - and the cultural open-mindedness inherent to such a life story. I specialize in opinion pieces, but am also well-versed in travel/event reporting, and writing general news stories. I blog regularly on my two pages, and have contributed to multiple online publications, including Gonzo Today, a web page dedicated to Hunter S. Thompson's "gonzo" journalism and his legacy. If you have any writing needs, I am the right person to talk to! I will be able to match the tone and style you desire, will work overtime to make you happy, and will deliver high quality content. You can find me on Facebook and LinkedIn as "Mark Linnhoefer", and on Twitter as "@markalinnhoefer". For work proposals please feel free to use the contact form on either of my blogs!

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Food For Thought #6

Well, I haven't written a FFT segment in quite a while, so I figured that it's about time, and with Christmas coming up, I also figure that I'll be able to find some new, or at least rehash some old, topics. It's always the same shit around Christmas anyway, isn't it? I mean, I personally endorse the notion of compassion and altruism around the time Christians believe Christ to have been born, but what bugs me about it is that for some people, it is truly the only time of year in which they feel it necessary to exhibit these values, and that is sad.
Now of course there is nothing wrong with reserving the biggest acts of charity for the time of togetherness that is Christmas, but if you're acting like an asshole all year long and then want to repent and fully redeem yourself by acting nice around Christmastime, you remain an asshole, and no amount of Christmas cheer is going to change that. I hate the way some fucked-up souls try and exploit that time of giving to put themselves in a position that radiates phony sentiments of understanding and compassion, and I loathe those buying into it all the same, because they are the ones perpetuating the idea that having a jaunty Christmas persona can even out any and all fuck-ups committed by the actual person throughout the year.

But this is just for your personal understanding of my feeling towards Christmas-y things. The topic for today's Food For Thought is another one, and it is once again related to corporations and their excessive influential powers. The example that comes to mind today are the free trade agreements that are being discussed and struck behind closed doors - with the obvious exception being lobbyist of various multinational firms. TTIP is the EU-US version of such an agreement, and its - along with any other of these atrocities, like TISA and CETA - core component is the elimination of non-tariff related boundaries for foreign investors. Sounds like a nice, globalization kind of thingy, doesn't it? Well, let me illustrate the gravity of allowing companies and their investors to dispose of any and all boundaries that hinder their economic thriving: If your commune decides to banish fracking in your area due to the extreme environmental hazards, any foreign company can sue your country's government for the profit they reckon they would have made if they had been allowed to pollute your area, which is usually a sum in the hundreds of millions. Oh, but it doesn't stop at that; should the government in question not want to pay, or is unable to pay, they have the option of abolishing the law or regulation in question in order to allow the company to freely make their money by whatever means they see fit. And it's not even an actual court that rules over these things, but rather a private arbitrary court made up of three volunteers, usually also tied to some major enterprise. This means that anything one would associate with a social, democratic state will essentially be put to the test: Healthcare (if you're not in America obviously) will be privatized, environmental policies reversed, laws abolished, regulation of the financial market (Dodd-Frank) pulverized, educational system also privatized, even the water supply will eventually be run by privately-owned companies. Non-tariff related boundaries are the things that protect us, the citizens from the endless greed of corporations. Non-tariff related boundaries are human rights, employee rights, environmental policies, minimum wages, state-run water supply and transportation; these are the things that stand in the way of companies making as much money as they possibly could, and are as such targeted by free trade agreements such as TTIP.
Fucked up, isn't it? And for those defending this agreement, look at what NAFTA did to the Mexican economy, to Mexico generally. A run-down economy, a drug-cartel-controlled government, and people fleeing the country to work as illegals in the US because they can't find any work to make ends meet... I think the facts speak for themselves; these agreements are geared to exploit the population in the name of large corporations and their holy grail of capitalism, and are a huge assault on democracy and freedom as we know it, which is why we need to stand up to this shit! Go on the streets and picket, let your neighbors, your family, your friends, let everyone know about the degree to which this will influence your daily life and abolish the freedoms our ancestors fought so hard to gain! I want to get people riled up about this seeing as such a deliberate and direct attack on democracy cannot stand. 

But well, it's not like this is anything entirely new; corporations have always tried to exploit people by using them as assets rather than actual human beings, politicians have always been bribed by these firms and therefore acted at their bidding, and the population has always just fucking stood there and accepted it. Always is a gross exaggeration though, there have been - and are - quite a few uprisings against this system,a few people have always - here it is again - tried to rebel against a political landscape that has/is tried/trying to keep those unwilling to conform voiceless. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. At least that's what it seems like. I see no changes. It's just the way it fucking is, and that pisses me off. But what's worse is that I am also perpetuating this placid status quo: I get and spend money, I have a bank account that is regularly overdrawn, I study International Business for Christ's sake, and I am a generally pacifistic, borderline apathetic person to begin with, so not a revolutionary per se. I also don't think that the change necessarily needs - or even should be - brought on by means of force and violence. The system won't budge if we try to fight its brutality with ours, we can clearly see that in any and all protests happening lately: people are just being shot down, sprayed with tear gas, beaten with sticks, and pushed down by shield-wielding almost-soldiers, like they used to do in China. I reckon the US is going to start using tanks on civilians in a few years tops too. Like the German army that has now gotten the authorization to handle inner conflicts, i.e. they are now allowed to assist the police if people should actually decide to revolt. Isn't that just fucking awesome?

Anyhow. Maybe the change needs to brought on from within, maybe compassion coupled with subtle manipulation is key to reforming this dated system of madness and greed, maybe there is a way free of carnage and bloodshed, maybe there is hope. But I am by no means a political expert of any kind, nor am I in any position to actually influence anything of major importance. Yet, I do have a voice that I intend to use until someone shuts me up for good, and I hope that it is heard by some of you, and entices you to start using your voice as well! Which brings me to a final atrocious, scandalous, unspeakable act the EU-commission has had the nerve to commit: an alliance in Germany has collected signatures against TTIP, and gotten up to a million, which they handed in for the commission to consider, and you know what those cocksuckers had the guts to fucking do? They're suing. They're actually suing against signatures by citizens, they're suing against the people's will, and are thereby clearly proving whose side their on. I'll give you a hint, it's not ours. QED. Selah.

So, I hope you've enjoyed this somewhat short and belated Food For Thought segment, which I haven't done in quite a while, but I like to have one or at most two very related topics for these things, and that is usually quite hard. Some posts will start out as a FFT, but later changed into a regular post because they jumped around too many topics without ever going into greater detail. Which is not something I personally dislike, but it is not fit for a FFT segment, because that is something I like to use to get you to consider a single aspect of life or the world or whatever in its entirety so as to form your own opinion on it. Although I have to admit that my rant on TTIP here is biased and very one-sided, there are enough corporate plugs who'll sell you all kind of advantages, so if you want to hear both sides, go listen to any of them. They'll give you shiny numbers that can usually be disproved or put into actual context by doing just a tiny bit of research. So, if you feel you need both sides on this issues, go and let those in favor of TTIP paint their picture for you, but don't forget to find out what the colors and brush are really made of. In this light, I'll leave you be with some good music:

Smif-N-Wessun - Wreckonize
-> I don't really need to say much to this, do I? 'Just The Two Of Us' sample that was awesomely used here, amazing artists on a legendary track; good, old Hip Hop like it's supposed to be, lyrically way up there and still chill as fuck. So, you better wreckonize, and... Enjoy!

Crooklyn Dodgers 95 - Return Of The Crooklyn Dodgers
-> Well, once again, not much need be said here; awesome artists (Masta Ace, O.C., etc..), great beat, amazing lyrics! Once again one of the songs that remind me of how great Hip Hop used to be, of how fucking awesome music was back in the days, of how much I have missed for having been born too late, and just generally of how much I adore good music! Enjoy!

Saint Vitus - Born Too Late
-> Whilst writing the above caption, I was reminded of this song, so I decided to put it on here. This is an old doom metal tune that I've really enjoyed for a few years, then completely forgotten about it, and rediscovered it a few months ago... Well, it's a pretty cool song, so... Enjoy!

Black Sabbath - Crazy Train
-> Well what can I say, I'm just feeling the classics today! This song is from the Osbourne-era of Sabbath. I personally think that Ronnie was the better vocalist, but hey, Ozzy has his advantages too, and this song proves just that; an awesome, testosterone-laden riff, amazing vocals, and just an overall crazy greatness within the song make for a veritable classic piece of Rock'n'Roll history...Enjoy!

Skream vs. Distance - Political Warfare 
-> Since I'm doing classics today, I figured that this song definitely belongs on here, this is an old-school dubstep track from July 2007, and it is pretty fucking awesome to say the least. It's got this simplistic, chill feeling to it that just speaks to me somehow. I really enjoy the use of samples and the wobble in the void of this basic yet musically fascinating and complex tune. Enjoy!

Digital Mystikz - Earth A Run Red 
-> And here goes yet another classic, this time by Digital Mysitkz, and I have to say that this tune is pretty damn great! It has this nice underlying rhythm to it that remains prevalent throughout most of the song, yet manages to adapt itself ever so slightly to create a musical excellence the likes of which are rarely seen anymore. Anyhow, great song, awesome artists...Enjoy!

Well, this post is slightly delayed again, I know, but I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to actually making my deadline again. Plus I've had my birthday quite recently, and was a bit busy flying straight up to the sky for a day or so. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed the post and the selection of music, I am really feeling the old classics lately, and that will reflect itself increasingly on the selection of songs here, which I hope all of you will enjoy! So, I'll try and make the next deadline in two weeks from now, and wish you nice holidays and a merry Christmas already! I'm not sure if I'll manage to cram in another post before Christmas eve, but we'll see...


Sunday, November 30, 2014

Some stones are better left unturned

if you don't want to see their parasite-ridden underside, that is. But isn't that parasitic abscess, normally hidden from the eye, as much part of the stone as its polished, usually visible surface? Why would one not want to know of that aspect? Because it is much easier to tolerate a pretty rock than the rotting remains of one, I suppose. And as long as you can fool yourself into ignoring the ugly mess below the surface, you will be sure that the stone's underside is akin to, if not an exact replica of, the visible part. Which is exactly what's going on in so many forms in our world: ugly truths are flipped so as to make them radiate positively, and the public at large would much rather see and believe the pretty illusion than dig down to the fucked up crux of the matter and see the shit that's really going on.

But I'm not going to get into the aspect of mass-media-manipulation that is inherent to the issues at hand quite yet. I'll start with another aspect, namely the personal auto-deception many of us - including me - are falling victim to, which is in itself just a pathetic little charade our brain is playing with our minds. Let's take myself as an example: these past weeks have been horrible; I stayed up too long, smoked too much, slept too little, and did not eat enough. Yet I, our rather my demented cerebrum, have - has - somewhat managed to press the notion that I am actually feeling and living quite well to the very front of my cerebral lobes, thereby deluding myself - me - to a shudder-inducing degree. Of course I realize that I am just fooling myself - hence this post - but the inevitability of falling in the traps of auto-deceit has come weighing down upon me in the interim leading up to this realization, and that is something I have always striven to avoid: the loss of control, or rather the lack of realization in my thinking. But that might be a rather melodramatic way of portraying things after all. In the end, it's not like deceiving yourself leads to a complete loss of coherent thought. It does however, lead to you essentially misjudging yourself and the things happening to you, which might lead to self-neglect, as it has happened to me. I am just not taking care of myself lately, I feel. Although I am doing sports each and every morning, and have cut down on all chemical psychoactive substances, I know that I could do a lot of things a lot better: I could, for example, start going to classes again; I could eat more and go to bed early, and I could just not smoke any cigarettes. The problem here is that I simply do not feel like it. I don't even see any actual reason to do so, which is weird because I know that there are plenty. Shit, it's like I have this reasonable side that's compelled to drastically alter the way I go about living my life right now, but on the other hand I also have this fuck-you-all-side that tells me to just keep doing what I like until I find something actually productive that I enjoy doing. I'm guessing that neither of those ways is going to make me happy though. It's as always going to be a compromised middle between the both of them that will make for a comfortable ride. But this tangent is not entirely relevant to the topic to be honest. What I was getting to is actually the auto-deceit and its power within human nature: we like thinking that everything is fine, and our brains are stupid enough to produce endorphins as soon as we decide to like something, meaning that deceiving yourself into believing you're feeling fine will eventually make you feel fine, simply because our brains are primitive as fuck when it comes to emotions. Which is in all likelihood also the reason why I'm not enticed to change my way of living right now; I have gotten so used to it that my brain is now producing endorphins where it would have made me aware of misery just a few weeks ago. And that is the actual danger of deceiving yourself: at some point deceit turns into belief and then into conviction, meaning that tricking yourself into feeling a certain way might ultimately result in you actually feeling that way in similar situations from that point on. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it might lead to weird up to downright questionable behavior in some cases.

But enough of this. What I haven't gotten into yet is the aspect of the mass-media, which have degenerated into filthy, smut-ridden, propaganda-spewing, war-instigating, government-controlled, brainwashing little puppets. Facts are being misrepresented, people are being misquoted, one-sided and biased reporting has become the norm, and all just to create a new common enemy, to distract the population from the dying economy, to distract the people from the failure of capitalism, to distract us from the evils of free market and the privatized bank system. And no, I am not a communist although the previous sentences might suggest that to some, I don't like to think in terms of political orientation to be honest, I just like to think logically; and logically speaking, you cannot possibly rationalize the free market capitalism any longer. It has failed. The middle class is essentially gone, the poor are getting poorer, and the rich have isolated themselves with their own schools and their own fenced-off and guarded compounds. And yet politicians are still in favor of not taxing these people more heavily. And yet politicians are still not doing anything about companies taking away public money (taxes) by "smart geographical re-distribution of their returns", ergo taking them to Luxemburg, Cayman Islands, etc. Companies are officially bragging about evading taxes, and nothing is being done about it. That money could have gone into better education, new infrastructure; it could have been used for public needs. But instead, it went into the pockets of those that already have more digits on their bank accounts than words are able to express. Is anyone upset by this? Yes, many people are. Are governments taking serious steps to address this problem? You bet your sweet ass they don't. They're profiting from it too! Oh, and of course there's proof to all of this: you may check the "panama corporate database", and you will see for yourselves, which names are registered there; and for Germany, you can check the annual report of the "Commerzbank", in which they pat themselves on the back for having evaded taxes. Mind you, this bank was saved by German taxpayers' money, and now they're refusing to pay theirs? That is just fucked up. And again, the government is not doing anything about it.
But I drifted off-topic there. The media are turning things around. For example, Russia is made out to be the root of all evil lately. Now of course, Russia is not a great example of a peaceful, non-militarized state, no-one is going to deny that. But still, the US is equally aggressive, and the greatest war instigator of this century, and they're not being criticized as heavily for their actions in the whole Ukraine debacle. Fact of the matter is, the NATO has promised the Russians long ago that they would not expand eastwards, and yet they did. A step that former US Secretary Of Defense Robert McNamara, amongst more than forty former senators, cabinet secretaries and ambassadors, heavily criticized in an open letter to president Clinton. So, naturally, Russia is going to feel threatened and try to extend its sphere of influence as well. And please don't be so naive as to think that 'Russia doesn't have to fear the NATO expansion as long as it behaves', because that is just bullshit. Tell that to the bombed remains of Syria and Algeria. Anyway. I am not condoning Russia's behavior either, but it's not like they're the main aggressor we need to be afraid of. The foreign policies of NATO states have actually revived the dead and buried corpse of the Cold War. People that have lived to see the actual Cold War are reminded of the anti-Russian propaganda from back then when watching the news today. And that already says quite a lot if you ask me. Selah. 

Well, this entry took quite some time to finish once again, but well, as long as it's still November I have managed to keep my promise of posting twice a month, which is something. But I am really eager to write some more in the future, and I hope I will succeed at doing so. Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed this post and that it has shown you some things. I don't want you to rely on anything you read here though, especially not when it comes to political things: do some research and develop your own opinion! Just be sure not to stop your research at the first source you find, and be sure to use sources from both sides, so that you can form your own differentiated opinion on it. 
But enough preaching for today, here's some good music for you:

The Hieroglyphics - You Never Know
-> I've recently rediscovered The Hieroglyphics, and cannot believe how I could not have gotten into them a lot more way earlier! Amazing old-school Hip Hop, awesome beat, great flows, deep message, and just all in all mind-boggling. I love this kind of Hip Hop most, and will probably just stick to that for all songs in this post, so sorry to all non-Hip Hop fans out there! Anyway, great tune, legendary artists, 'nuff said!

Pete Rock & CL Smooth - They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)
-> Another amazing song, I am not sure if I haven't featured it on here before though, if that is the case please let me know!
Anyhow, this track is just so insanely great, the jazzy samples, the raw beat, the inspiring vocals, everything! Enjoy!

The Hieroglyphics feat. Del Tha Funkee Homosapien - At The Helm 
-> Awesome fucking song! Deep message, amazing flows, raw old-school beat; this tune has everything I love about Hip Hop incorporated into its cocoon of greatness! "Rap ain't about bustin caps and fuckin bitches. It's about fluency with rhymin ingenuity"....Enjoy!

The Pharcyde - Drop 
-> Legendary artists, awesome song, and a great video, that was actually shot with them walking backwards and then reversed to make it look they're going forward, hence their "goofy" way of walking as on YouTube commentator put it. Anyhow, amazing track that definitely needed featuring on here, so... Enjoy!

Del Tha Funkee Homosapien - If You Must 
-> "It's important to practice good hygiene, at least if you want to run with my team!" A song about cleaning yourself properly! Funny topic, realized amazingly well by Del, and just all in all a great tune that you'll definitely... Enjoy!

The Pharcyde - Pandemonium
-> From the Street Fighter soundtrack from 1994, as you can see in the video description. Still, this song takes me back, used to love that movie, and the track in itself is also close to perfection, amazing flows, dope beat, and all in all real old-school Hip Hop that I love! Enjoy!

This post turned out to be a bit shorter than I had expected, but well, at least it's appearing within a reasonable time-frame. Plus I have to say that I am quite happy with what I wrote here, and hope that it is as enjoyable for you to read this as it was for me to write it. I'll try to write more regularly in the future, but I've said that so often by now that this promise has somewhat lost its value. So, not minding the redundancy, I hope that his post holds some truths or values for you, that it entices you think a bit, you know the deal.


Tuesday, November 4, 2014

I was going to

write another Food For Thought segment where these words are standing. But well, I started writing about my inability of finding a topic, and realized that nothing much would come out of trying to think up some grand truth that I could lay on you, simply because I could not think of anything. So I decided to erase the paragraphs that stood here and replace them by a bunch of meaningless rambling and ranting. Not utterly meaningless perhaps, but probably quite close to it seeing as I can not for the life of me figure out where all my "knowledge" about things went. "Knowledge" is between quotation marks because I am not talking about my experience or education - neither of which have decreased - but rather about my opinionated thoughts about things, which have apparently receded. Some might see that as an improvement, for reasons that need not saying, but I personally think that it is an alarming sign of accepting the placid status quo as an inevitability. It is an alarming sign of not questioning the tidal waves of crap life's so eager to swamp you with anymore. It is just generally alarming to me that I am not as enticed to develop an opinion about any topic at all as I was just a few months, hell, a few weeks ago. I mean nothing happened in that time-frame. Ha. Maybe that's the crux of the matter: nothing happened! I can literally say that these past weeks have been the most sluggish weeks of most weeks I can remember. And given my usual heavy intake of sluggish-makers that's something. Well, come to think of it, the weeks in themselves haven't even been as dull as the previous sentence suggests, I mean, I went to university quite regularly, I had tons of useless shit to take care of in terms of insurance-related issues, and of course my landlord's inability to do anything, but still I feel that there's an underlying lack of action in everything happening at the moment. Or rather a lack of action that would call for my involvement -- mentally or physically -- or even interest me for that matter. 

And I am once again far behind deadline, I know, but the reasons are much more tangible than usually: I was working. Well, some might not call it working, but my going to parties and reporting on them is an activity that actually produces a large mental (and at times physical) workload. Why physical you ask? Because I am not an asshole and help with the set-up of the parties I attend for journalistic purposes. But well, being swamped in writing work is not really an excuse for not writing, is it? To some extent it is of course, I mean, after having to write all day I usually feel drained of creativity and energy, but seeing as writing is also a hobby of mine, I should be able to use this platform on which I can write whatever the fuck I please to unwind. Which I am fortunately able to do to a certain degree, but not as intensely as I would like to, meaning that I always reach a point of complete exasperation because I become unable to think of any words to use or topics to write about. It's annoying really, wanting to become a writer of sorts and constantly running out of topics, therefore having to resort to void-filling paragraphs like this one. 

Still, I am even further behind deadline by now, ergo in dire need of completing this meaningless mess, and hopefully produce some form of interesting thoughts in the process. I have to admit that my intense involvement in various writing activities is taking its toll on my creativity - I feel more often drained of thought than not, and albeit knowing that I am essentially reiterating what I have already said earlier, I still need to say that I am having a hard fucking time coming up with things to form sentences about. And the worst thing about it is the utter senselessness in most things I am coerced to write, such as fictional business proposals for university. I mean why the hell do I need to do that? I know how to write something using professional business language and formatting, and if I didn't I'd just google it. For Fuck's sake, we live in the age of info-saturation. Can't we just stick to doing things you can't learn online as easily? Isn't that why I'm enrolled for these damn studies anyway? Although I have to say I am getting more and more doubts about the entire system of businesses, and therefore my motivation is dwindling as quickly as my faith in humanity. Which sucks, because studying is not free, meaning that I am essentially wasting money there. But well, I still cling to my idea of having a diploma that will qualify me for a "nice" corporate job that I might need to take to make ends meet if I cannot get my foot in the door of the journalistic field. Not a great motivator, I know, but it has really become the last reason for me to stick with it and not throw the towel and say "Fuck it, and fuck you, I'll just write from now on". That is really a thought that makes me shiver with eager excitement, but, alas, I am in no position to quit my education quite yet, and will of course refrain from doing so until I am, if I'll ever be. And if I won't, I can still do some soul-sucking corporate shit job until I retire, at which point I'll probably be quite close to a corpse already, and spend my remaining couple of years in some shitty-ass retirement home where I'll die sad, alone, and all in all miserable. Great outlook, ain't it? On the other hand, my cynical streak might be taking over here. But then again, it might not, and I don't think it is to be honest: the business life is an ugly mess that sells souls, destroys lives, and fucks the planet in the ass without using any form of lubricant, ripping the poor world's sphincter to a bloody, canyon-like stripe. Hm. Not my best metaphor, but it works I guess. Anyway, what I'm getting at here is the well-know but too often forgotten or overlooked aspect of corporations: their political influence and power. Without businesses, the entire system of working, buying, and consuming would crumble, which is one of the reasons why they are propelled into a powerful position that allows them to actually control world politics to a angst-inducing degree. The other reason is money, as always. Most banks are private corporations, even the Federal Reserve Bank is, and they're the ones printing the American money, meaning that there is a private organization in charge of one of the world's most-used currencies. And if that's not frightening as fuck, I don't know what is. It doesn't stop at banks though, the evilest motherfuckers are the ones running the large pharma industries. It is better for them to treat patients instead of curing them, it is better for them to develop medicine that has side-effects that need to be combated using yet another one of their satanic little pills, and it is better for them to keep the current system of prohibition of psychoactive substances running, simply because it generates tons of money for them. I mean, look at the system: someone gets caught using drugs, and is forced into a probational rehab, meaning he'll have to take a piss-test every other week or so. Now, guess who gets paid for each and every evaluation of said piss. Right you are, the pharma industry it is. If drugs were to be legalized, they'd lose two of their major income streams: Harmful medication for cancer, MS and chronic pain among others (could all be replaced by weed), and aforementioned laboratory-piss-tests. So they'd rather set all hell in motion before letting that happen, and they have ample resources to do so, much more than the average citizens could ever hope to have. We're in a state of submission here, because we don't have the financial means necessary to bribe politicians like Big Pharma does, which is a horrid perversion of any and all democratic principles that the governments are sworn to uphold. Or so we're told... I'm really not buying it anymore. We're slaves to their money, slaves to their work, slaves to their education, slaves to their pharmaceutical poison, and slaves to our watches, which are in turn slaves to their definition of time. I mean, just what the hell is going on in this puked-up mess of a planet? It has become an accepted fact that most media are being fed and are therefore feeding us lies of corporations and politicians that twist the truth up until it is not even remotely recognizable anymore. It has become an accepted fact that politics are geared to keep us voiceless, politicians mere puppets, and corporations the puppeteers.
And I know that these are points I have already made a billion times since the creation of this blog, but god fucking damn it, it seems like people are still not even starting to get it, and that just saddens me. There are so many people who're working their asses off in order to get some change for the better into this crazy messed-up world, but their fight is just ignored, because most people are not feeling uncomfortable per se. They've got their basic needs, and that's all they concern themselves with. Why fight for freedom if you can watch "Teen Moms"? Why slay the oppressors, when "Wheel Of Fortune" is running? Why get out of our damn comfort zone and start getting in the face of the lying scumbags we're being told to respect, when our comfort zone is so much more cozy? Well, if you can live with governmental organs controlling every step you take, rummaging through your personal life like it was a garage sale, and slowly suppressing free speech in the name of "national security", then just stay on your couch and rot there whilst choking on a bagel. Because apparently, that's what the once great American Dream has receded to: fast-food and trash-TV. Great job. Ideals blown to smithereens by the rapid outbreak of stupidity that has taken hold of the twenty-first century for whatever reason, principles long forgotten due to the saturation of bullshit swamping television sets, and values buried six-feet-under because they were too hard to uphold in this media-induced storm of lying cocksucker's fallacious opinions. But Fuck It, I say. Just opt out of the entire thing. Make your money there, make sure they don't get all up in your shit, and then leave them to go and live your life in a way that makes you happy, in a way that lets you indulge in the things you want, in a way that truly reflects the original ideals of the American Dream, in a way that truly exudes freedom, in a way that truly defies their restrictive dogmas, rules, and expectations. 

I have seen a lot of shit going down lately though, so talking about taking freedoms here in the "civilized Western world" might seem misplaced vis-à-vis the ISIS, Hamas, CIA, and what-not to some, but I must strenuously disagree with these people, for it has happened far too often that a common scapegoat, a shared enemy, and/or a mutual fear is (are) used to insidiously push hatred-stirring propaganda onto unsuspecting, fearful buffoons. The pushing of course being done by the usual suspects: the forces of the cruel Old & Evil - stale, stubborn, and surprisingly stupid as always - and the misguided energy of the brainwashed Young & Nasty, combined in a filthily decaying mixture of bad Karma, wasted breaths, rotten morals, and violent nonsense. These are the stepping stones paving the way to a literal hell-hole of a planet inhabited by morally-bankrupted, justice-raping, soul-sucking reaper-like creatures, craving for the deception of each and any innocent Pollyanna still staggering through the burned-out ruins of what used to be society, of what used to be of moral value, of what used to be life...

Anyway. I am getting nowhere new with this, and I am so insanely fucking far behind deadline that I see no sense whatsoever in trying to keep going, which is why I will leave it be. Now I know that this post is rehashing quite a few topics you should be familiar with by now, but well, I can't shake the feeling that a little emphasis every once in a while is quite useful, seeing as most people are still not getting anything of what I am trying to convey here. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this extremely delayed -- for which I want to apologize once again at this point -- post, I'll go back to posting approximately every other week again, and leave you be with some good music for now: 

Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
-> "I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad. I've got sunshine in a bag. I'm useless, but not for long. My future's coming on" Such a great song, featuring the legendary Del Tha Funky Homosapien, and just overall amazing. Love the good, bad & ugly style in the song and the video, love the melody, love the vocals, and I absolutely adore the hook! All in all a great track sung by great artists that definitely had to be featured on here, so... Enjoy!

Outkast - Ms. Jackson
-> "I'm sorry Miss Jackson, I am for reeeaaal. Never meant to make your daughter cry, I apologized a trillion times" Great artists, classic tune. 'nuff said!

Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc
-> "Love forever, love is free..." I'm really feeling Gorillaz today, and, being one of their most famous songs, this gem had to be featured on here as well. A great track, with an epic feature by De La Soul, and an overall music awesomeness accompanying this grand piece fused with social criticism and an amazing lead singer, and well, the music video is pretty cool too, so... Enjoy!

Gorillaz - November Has Come
-> Here goes yet another Gorillaz song, and it also awesome. I hadn't gotten into the group much so far, but I am discovering quite a few great songs by them, and will keep on posting these discoveries here. Their singer, the same guy that sings for Blur by the way, has an angelic voice, and their cooperation with many famous Hip Hop acts make for very interesting tunes that cross the boundaries of traditional genres to create new musical excellence, which is a great thing to see, so... Enjoy!

Queen - Innuendo
-> Queen are basically the epitome of all things great in music, and they don't fail to live up to that notion with this song in the least: an awesome, eargasm-inducing song that leads you through an emotion-filled, riff-laden musical wonderland, leaving your brain exhausted but fulfilled, and reminding you why music is the only actual achievement of mankind... Enjoy!

Mattafix - Big City Life
-> " Don't let the system get you down!" Again one of those songs that should have been on here a long time ago already due to its sheer awesomeness. This song portrays the problems of the stress-ridden urban population and the ever-increasing anonymity in an achievement-driven, work-filled world insanely well, yet retains a chill, almost enthusiastic undertone that makes it a great song to toke up to and do some philosophizing about the dreaded people in power trying to keep you down, so... Enjoy!

This concludes this entry, which is so delayed that our primitive way of communicating lacks the vocabulary needed to express the magnitude of said delay. I am seriously loathing myself for not having been "able" to write last month, and cannot even offer a feasible explanation to be honest, I mean I constantly had this post in mind and was actually eager to write, but somehow never actually got to it. It's weird, really, come to think of it. Seems like some sort of mental issue to be honest. Or perhaps it's just a manifestation of the general apathy that has taken hold of my life these past weeks for whatever reason. But I am definitely slowly getting back on track, and will post as regularly as possible from now on. At this point I would also like to extended my heartily apologies to anyone that was waiting for this post to appear, I am as I said in constant self-loathing because of my weird inability to write, and will work on posting on a regular basis again. I do hope that this entry was nevertheless enjoyable to you, and was able to open your eyes or sensitize you to some issues, and hopefully offered some truths that you can apply to your life. Selah. 


Sunday, September 14, 2014

The damned brakes

were not working anymore, and had not been working for quite a while. 
Still, we were three people huddled together on a small electric scooter doing about 28 miles per hour on a freeway in the middle of the night, all heavily tripping -- including myself, and I was driving -- on some over-the-counter medicine and a variety of uppers. I was fully dissociated and could not make out any differences between reality and hallucinations anymore, and neither could any of my friends for that matter. I was constantly ducking so as to avoid probably fictional branches whilst dodging imaginary obstacles, causing other travelers to honk and curse at us excessively. "Fuck, does anyone know where we are or where we're going?", I screamed at the two zombies sitting behind me, not really expecting an answer. "To the club" said one of them, his mouth almost falling off of his chin. "To your place" said the other, whose innards were showing through a gaping hole where his stomach would have supposed to be. Fucking hell, this was going to be a bitch of a ride - from nowhere to nowhere with the plague of the twenty-first-century riding on the back of my scooter. But this was not the time to deal with this geegaw. A monstrously large truck was stopping way too close to the beam barrier a few hundred yards in front of us, and the damned brakes were still not even remotely functional. So I jammed my feet onto the asphalt -- lacerating my shoes and blowing the protective plastic of my soles to smithereens -- in order not to drive into said beast of a vehicle. Which did of course not create a big enough force to fully stop the scooter in time, but fortunately reduced our speed significantly enough to leave us harm-free after impact. "Impact" - we actually just rammed the truck a little, shattering the headlights and the protective wheel-cover of my electric bike to tiny pieces, but not causing damage to any third party. And albeit not having caused an accident per se, we were quite anxious due to our mutually heavy intake of psychoactive substances that day, so we decided to flee the scene rather abruptly, meaning that I hastily turned the electric pile of garbage that served as our vehicle around, drove wrong-way for a while, and then swirled over the median and ascended to the highway. My erratic patterns of thought and sporadic bodily spasms that fittingly came into being whilst doing so made driving straightly not only a challenge, but a downright impossibility, which, on a highway, was turning our trip into a dire health hazard, and slowly beginning to make me feel queasy. But I was nevertheless - even more actually - in need of focusing on the road, seeing as all our lives depended on my largely impaired driving skills. 
But hot damn, the velocity felt good! I pushed the electric bike all the way up to about 33 mph and drove maniacally on the median, laughing into the winds of destiny whilst smirking at the sheer weirdness and danger we were finding ourselves in. We were on our way to the edge, and would probably not even notice when we'd reach it and be propelled into a dark oblivion of death, injury, and misery. But we had not gotten there yet, and I felt that we needed to go further; and since sobriety was still far away, and my friends were still zombies, I was free to do whatever the hell I pleased anyway. I would not hold back anymore I decided, and roared down the highway, still almost losing control of the bike every couple of minutes due to either muscular spasms or wet spots on the road. Actually, the bike was not the only thing I was losing control of: my mind was going rogue as well, and all sorts of weird monomaniac obsessions took hold of my thoughts every few seconds, making decision-making utterly impossible. "I need to go faster and harder on the curves to clear my mind" I shouted back at the two silent zombies. I did not know why these fucking decaying cadaver assholes were not talking, but I did not concern myself with it all too much either, and boomed on along the highway until I saw a serpentine exit route, and, wanting to push my luck, decided to take it. Zoom, zoom, zoom! I rushed downhill, barely making the curves and now even less in charge of the scooter's movements, but exhilarated and cranked up, hungry for more action. When we finally descended from the highway, I suddenly did not have any passengers anymore, which enticed me to stop and find out where those damned zombies from earlier had gone to. I got off the scooter and looked around  a bit, when all of a sudden my friends materialized behind me out of thin air, no longer being zombies. "You rotten bastards, what kind of sorcery is this?" I shouted. "What the fuck are you talking about? We need to head back to your place, man!" and "Where the hell are we anyway?" were their answers. I did not know about any of that, so I lit a cigarette and pondered the issue at hand. We were in the middle of nowhere, the bike's battery was running low, and any of us could fall back into a drug-induced craze that might lead us into the next disaster at any point. We were somewhat fucked. But I didn't want to think about that for the time being. I remembered that we had some high-percentage whiskey and a lot of cheap grass stowed in the storage compartment of the scooter, so I decided to get both, and whilst I struggled to roll an awful-looking joint my friends opened the bottle of scotch. We finished the bottle and almost an eighth of the weed, and decided to just drive back in the direction we came from in order to try finding my place. We crammed ourselves back on the scooter, and, due to the lack of battery, drove down the road at about 15 mph. After what felt like at least ten hours of slow-mo crawling through the swamp of outskirt-roads we finally got back to somewhat familiar surroundings. So we decided to hunker down at a cheap internet café -- they charged about 5 cents per hour -- that was near the crossroads we had just gotten to in order to come back to reality a bit using the remainder of the grass whilst playing Counterstrike 1.6. As we were all still insanely on edge from the journey, we decided not to play a game that consisted of us shooting each other after all, and rather put on extremely loud Rock'n'Roll music and smoked a couple of blunts. A few hours went by, and when we were high enough to be calm again, we got back on the death-trap scooter without brakes, and headed on to my place. 
Alas, our feeling of sobriety was a falsity. As soon as we hit the road again, I sensed a diziness slowly building up in my subconscious and quickly drifiting towards the conscious part of my cerebrum, instantly deluding the differences between the both of them and thereby catapulting me back into a daredevil speeding-frenzy: I needed to go west. I did not know why, but west was the way to go. So I looked at the road sign which had the cardinal directions inscribed into its plastic surface, discovered the small W on the left-hand side, and turned the run-down electric scooter in that very direction. Whilst driving down the avenue I needed to avoid weird flickers of light that were scattered across my vision and sometimes randomly materialized into other drivers. Upon arriving at a crossroads, I checked the road sign to see whether or not we were still going west. To my suprise, it was the same road sign again; it was the same fucking crossroads! 
This had to be a question of mere focus I thought, and so I pedantically re-examined the sign, found the small W once more on the left-hand side, and once again turned the scooter into that very direction. I pushed the electric vehicle to its remaining maximum velocity, hurrying down the avenue until we got to yet another crossroads. Which, after examining the road sign for a while, turned out to be the exact same spot again. I was getting desperate, and my friends' faces had completely melted for some reason, so they would not be very helpful either. I repeated the same steps as earlier: I made sure I was driving in the proper direction, took off, and arrived at the same place. Over and over again. After the fifth or sixth time, I was coming close to a nervous break-down. My friends' status had deteriorated even further, they had by now melted down to mushy globs of skin-colored mud, so still no help there. I decided to just say Fuck It and drive east this time. And just as I managed to slowly rotate the steering wheel to the right - I blacked out. When my brain reattached itself to my central nervous system and consciousness, we were already nearing my place. Or rather - I was. No-one else was there. But what the hell, I reckoned that they must have taken a taxi or something like that.
A few more minutes of unstable driving ensued, and I finally pulled into the driveway of my place, happy to be home at last. I locked the scooter, plugged its charger into it, and entered the house through the door that was located inside of the garage. I went straight to the kitchen without switching on a single light, opened the fridge, went blind for a minute upon seeing the brightly-lit white inside of this temple of cool freshness shine through the darkness surrounding it, got a large bottle of water, closed the fridge again and went downstairs. When I entered my room, I sat down and instantly took a five-minute-long gulp of the water bottle, almost draining the entirety of its content. "Ah!" I breathed out, feeling replenished and freed of thirst. Afterwards, I rolled another small J, smoked it, and proceeded to sleep for almost eleven hours...

Hm. I have never posted a story like this on here before, and I was thinking I'd try that format out for a change. It is probably of interest to you how much truth there is in that story, and well, all elements presented in it are true. These things did not necessarily happen in that chronological order, or even on the same day or in the same month, but they all happened. I just combined them here for your reading pleasure, and I hope I was successful at doing so. Please let me know what you think about this kind of post, and if you would like to see something like this again on here at some point. I hope that it goes without saying that none of the above should ever be tried at home, I am still baffled that I survived all of the brake-less scooter-trips I have had the displeasure of partaking in in my time, and do not want anyone trying their luck with that kind of shit because they read it here. 
And well, in this light I'll leave you be, and, as always, give you a few musical gems to enjoy:

Ol' Dirty Bastard - Baby I Got Your Money
-> Oh yeah, here's some good ol' dirty bastard for y'all! I don't think this classic track needs any kind of introduction to be honest, you should all know this tune, and well, the guy was a freaky but awesome musician who died way too young because of a bad mixture of cocaine and tramadol. Which is maybe why he had such a unique, never-seen-before style of rapping. Anyway, this song definitely needed featuring on here, so... Enjoy!

Eazy-E - Eazy Duz It 
-> "Well, I'm Eazy-E, I got bitches galore. You may have a lot of bitches, but I got much more". Another timeless classic, this time out of Dre's camp, the infamous, notorious Eazy-E! I can not for the life of me figure out how I could have forgotten to post this tune until now, and am somewhat disappointed with myself to be honest. But well, here it is, so... Enjoy!

Warren Zevon - Lawyers, Guns, and Money
-> I know, Warren Zevon again, but I keep finding great songs of his, plus this one is being referenced in one of Hunter S. Thompson's works somewhere, although I can't for the life of me remember where and don't have the book nearby to check, but I'll update regarding that. Anyway, great song sung by a great artist, so... Enjoy!

Bob Dylan - Like A Rolling Stone 
-> Well, here goes another Bob Dylan song, and well, this one's a beauty, with truthful and deep lyrics underlined by awesome music. Dylan truly is a living legend, and this song shows just why that is, so... Enjoy!

Alpha Noize & Bass System - Infected (Spag Heddy Remix) 
-> Wow. I am speechless. I have featured Spag Heddy on here before, and he doesn't cease to amaze me: This is one raw fucking track! Amazing bass, a goosebumps-inducing underlying melody, coupled with outer-worldly drops, producing a sheer mind-blowing awesomeness that will remain lingering in your every thought for a few days, so... Enjoy!

Music Predators - Adventure Time (Condukta Remix) 
-> Well, I have to admit that this isn't one of the best songs I have posted on here so far. But it still elicits a feeling in me I cannot quite put into words, plus it is a pretty cool song with a nice melody and an awesome use of bass. By the way, you may have noticed that this and the previous song were both featured on the "MA Dubstep" Channel, which I would like to recommend not as an alternative but as an addition to the UKF channel, seeing as they have some great amazingly raw tracks as well. Anyway, I do like this song, so... Enjoy!

So, I have finished this post in about 10 days, which is actually prior to my newly-set deadline of two weeks, but well, the sooner the better, ain't it? Anyhow. I hope you have enjoyed this largely different post, and of course today's selection of songs.


Friday, September 5, 2014

The Zeitgeist of our age

is basically non-existent. The hippies defined the zeitgeist of the sixties as a peaceful, drug-fueled revolt against the forces of Old and Evil. The seventies were defined by Disco, the eighties by Rock, the nineties by Rap. But what is the zeitgeist, the spirit, heck, the meaning of the millennial years? Is there even any? Or are we slowly drifting away from a unified sense in our period and approaching a highly-individualized era of senselessness? I mean, what is today's literature made up of? Thrillers, cheap romance novels, investigative pieces on the NSA scandal that came into being way too late, and well, science-fiction and fantasy novels. But is there really a trend in this seemingly random arrangement of themes prevalent in this languish mass of essentially wasted paper? I am by no means a literary expert of any kind, so I cannot know with any certainty, but to me it seems that there is no trend, no meaning, no spirit, nothing at all in the accumulated piles of words that are being thrown at the unsuspecting reader in any and all bookstores around the world.

But that's not fair to say vis-à-vis some grand literary productions that have seen the light of day in the current time and age we so selfishly call 'ours'. There are a myriad great books filled with a plethora of valuable and interesting content-matter out there, I am by no means trying to deny that. But I am missing a golden thread throughout this period that would tie everything together in a unifying thriving to achieve a certain meaningful message in each and every little piece of literature being created. Which is actually not that weird; I'm fairly certain that when literary critics of future years examine the culture we're exhibiting in writing today they'll see a sense in that jumbled mess we're currently finding ourselves in. Albeit having to cede the possible fallacy of that assumption solely because we, and therefore also our writing is getting dumber by the minute, I am still optimistic in our generation succeeding in defining a movement, even if it is the kind that is only apparent in retrospect. Maybe everything written, recorded, and filmed is just a small molecular structure playing its role in a far larger system that it could not even begin to visualize. Maybe all publications have their meaning, but only in a chain of events that has not yet been set into motion and will only be visible once that it has run its course and gone down in history. And maybe not. Perhaps we are after all but players performing on a run-down stage for a non-existent audience merely thinking that we contribute to an equally fictional literary pedigree defined by an undefinable zeitgeist. But I don't really know about any of that to be honest, and actually cannot possibly know. Because if I could, I would be writing about just that - the soul of today's literature, the spirit of our generation, the zeitgeist of our time. And I know I've overused these words in this post already, and it's not that my vocabulary has suddenly devolved to a level far below par, but much rather that I lack synonyms/similar words describing the idea I am trying to convey as fittingly as the ones I have used. So I'll just stick to those.
Anyway. Since I have started writing, I have always tried to maintain a certain standard not only in regard to quality but especially in regard to the message and sense in my words; I have personally always been eager to learn a little something when reading a book, blog, or basically anything, and am therefore trying to incorporate just that in my writing, so that my readers may be inspired to change a few things in themselves, or be enticed to rethink a few points prevalent in their lives, or even just be craving to criticize what I wrote and therefore deal with the topics I have approached. Any and all of these things make me happy. Having an impact on people is a great feeling in itself, and if it is positive it is even more so. I am of course in no position to be claiming to have great truths to offer to mankind that would alter one's perception of things drastically, but I do think that I know a couple of things and have a few opinions that might at least help shape people's own opinion of certain topic. But I have said pretty much that at the end of basically every entry so far. So, what am I getting at with this seemingly random tangent about my intentions when composing these posts for you? Well, if you remember, we were talking about the unified sense in the literary era we currently find ourselves in, and, well, I figured that if everyone has at least similarly high ambitions when it comes to creating meaningful content as I have, this unifying meaning might just be present in today's literature and media after all. Or at least I hope so. Because otherwise, all authors and entertainers would merely be defined by their own legacy, and not be perceived as contributors to a certain significant value that defined their period. Which in one sense would be great, simply because no-one would be able to just ride along on the wave that is the zeitgeist of their period without himself being an even almost-decent author, but on the other hand it would be a horrid perversion of any literary creation, because any author whose work actually holds value is adding that value to society, so just focusing on the work itself would actually be demeaning to said creation.
Although I have to admit that when watching national TV I am rather ambivalent about aforementioned hope of today's media and literature having more meaning than the sum of their parts. Because the bullshit that is pandering to the lowest common denominator in society is being called great television nowadays, and the irrelevant "news stories" that are essentially just the mad illusions of some paparazzi are being treated as quality journalism. And that alone is such a gargantuan sign of foulness and decay in the media world that I cannot actually stand behind my own aforementioned thoughts about everybody else putting as big an emphasis on quality and meaning within their content as it would be appropriate to do. I mean, art, music, and writing were always supposed to be a means to convey a message or at least an emotion to an audience. But nowadays it only seems like a means to make ends meet and enriching oneself beyond any reasonable need. Which is fine. I love to see people in the entertainment business actually being able to live from their art, but the focus of said work should be to actually create something of value to others that goes beyond entertainment in itself. Something that might actually have a positive impact on people's life. Something that might elevate their dull and languish status quo to a meta-sphere of understanding and excitement. Or at least something that elicits some kind of feeling in audiences that causes them to ponder the addressed topics over and over in order to form an opinion on them. But I am just reiterating my previous points here. The main essence has hopefully already been understood by you guys: entertainment should always strive to hold some deeper meaning than the sum of its parts and thereby enrich your life in some way. At least in my opinion that is. But apparently, that opinion is slowly becoming threatened with extinction in the great pool of opinion sharks looking to devour smaller but more intelligent fish by the dozen.

Anyway. This is not only applicable to literature, arts, and media, but also to a business environment. A businesses' main purpose besides making profit should be to create some sort of value for the customer that goes beyond the product being sold in itself. A practice that has by now become commonplace in most industries actually, but for some reason flew by the entertainment sector without leaving its marks. Which is sad, because why should we expect more from some slimy-ass corporate plug than from those having dedicated their lives to bringing enjoyable media to others?
I mean for Fuck's sake, it's supposed to be the other way round isn't it? The business guys are supposed to be those doing their best to not deliver any additional value because that would mean additional costs for them, and the entertainment people are those supposed to be working their asses off to deliver as much value in their "products" as they possibly can! But somewhere along the way some wires seem to have gotten crossed, and suddenly up is down, right is wrong, and the entertainment sector is less ethically and socially responsible than most large corporations. Ha. This is essentially the exact same conclusion I came up with one paragraph prior to this one, but well, I think I've highlighted another aspect here that might seem downright weird to some. I mean, it is of course not true that all multinationals are suddenly acting as saints or anything like that. All I am saying is that it is less surprising by now to see a company act ethically and socially responsible than seeing a music label and its artists doing so. Which is another huge indicator of the foulness and decay within the entertainment industry in this day and age. And it saddens me to see how fucking low we have stooped, to what primal level we have receded. 
Hm. For some reason most of my posts boil down to this, don't they? In the end, it's always about the inner decay within humanity that ruins so many great things. Whether or not that is universally applicable is something I am quite ambivalent about though. On one hand it is true that those things most prevalent in media are obviously those the masses choose to watch, because otherwise they would not have big enough of an audience to allow them to stay on the air, so signs of decay in the media landscape can be treated as a mere outlet of the decay happening in the society producing it. On the other hand, most mainstream media are in the tight grip of large corporations and therefore only strive to produce short-term profits for share- and stakeholders, so the decay in the media world might just be a projection of the greedy ways of those in power. Whichever way you decide to look at it though, I can think we can all agree that entertainment nowadays is not what it used to be. Or at least not the way it' supposed to be, if it ever was. And well, as I have said so many times at the end of so many paragraphs, that is just fucking sad. 

But I am really just paraphrasing myself to some extent here. You have understood the main point I am trying to convey by now, and if you haven't then all the writing I could produce wouldn't help you anymore, so going on would be a futile effort on my part. And therefore I am not going to take it. I am in delay enough as it is anyway without making this post any longer, so I am going to stop. Apropos the delay though, I have decided to change my personal deadline to every two weeks seeing as I have not even been close to making the weekly deadline for, like, ever, so I am just being honest to you and to myself by changing this deadline to posting twice a month. I hope you don't mind all too much and have enjoyed this post. In this light I'll as always leave you be with some great music:

Funxion - Something Different
-> Well this is indeed something different. Great melodic beginning, than a really unexpected drop with these shadowy snare hits in the background that make this great tune such an epically melodic yet energetic piece of music. And well the MA Dubstep logo looks fucking cool, so... Enjoy!

Bakermat - One Day (Vandaag)
-> The video to this track is somewhat confusing to me, but I do love the song nevertheless. The saxophone combined with the awesome deep house beat and the inspirational speech that Martin Luther King gave during that fateful march in Washington all those years ago. It's goosebumps-inducing to say the least. Amazing tune, and a fucking enthralling saxophone melody, so... Enjoy!

Wu-Tang Clan - Killer Bees 
-> "Let's take it back to '79!!" Wu-Tang in their prime, insane beat, great rap, just an amazing, classic track that definitely needed featuring here, so... Enjoy!

Method Man - Bring The Pain 
-> Well, here's what always happens when I listen to Wu-Tang: I hear Meth's part and I get reminded of some great song of his, and immediately switch to listening to it. Which in this case is good for you guys, because I can now share this classic gem with you. Great video, amazing lyrics, legendary MC, and an overall awesome track, so... Enjoy!

Bob Dylan - Mr. Tambourine Man (5/4/65) Bootleg 
-> For lack of the "original" version on YouTube (fuckers...), here is a bootlegged version of the great Dylan tune that was played at Hunter S. Thompson's funeral, and is just a beautiful and timelessly classic song that has a deeper meaning to it, so... Enjoy!

Warren Zevon - The French Inhaler
-> Here is possibly the greatest "fuck you, ex" song ever composed to this day, and asides the obvious benefits of venting by listening to it, it is just a fucking amazing piece of music. Warren Zevon's music is just so great, and I cannot say that I have found a song of him that I actually dislike so far, so... Enjoy!

Well. This post took an eternity to complete once again and I can now with certainty say that my next one will also take about the same amount of time, seeing as I am stuck with university tasks and projects, and also as of lately with community service, which is just fucking annoying and has no rehabilitative effects whatsoever. But well. Shit happens, and I'll just get through with it as quickly as I can and then never ever let the thought of it interfere with any electrical impulses between my neurons ever again.
Anyhow. I hope that this post was enjoyable to you, and well, as always, that you learned something or were enticed to rethink things, but you know the deal. 


Sunday, August 17, 2014

I have many vices

but apparently I did not feel that they were enough yet, so I decided to add a bad gambling habit to them. I had actually planned to get into gambling since I started to report on the World Cup games a few months ago but have not had the financial liquidity necessary for it up until now. And well, I've already lost most of the money I had put down, but am now very enticed to put some more dough down and try to win back what has been lost so far. Which is a bad idea, trust me I know that it is, but so are alcohol, drugs, and borderline insanity, but those have always worked for me (not wanting to plagiarize Hunter S. Thompson here), meaning that gambling will probably work for me as well. Or not, and I'll never post here again because I'll lose all my assets and end up living on the streets. But up to that point, I will continue to gamble on a variety of sporting events I know nothing about. Which is in all likelihood not the best way to go, but quite exciting nevertheless. Or just because of that?

I mean, I have not embraced risk and danger all too much in my life, or at least I thought that I didn't. But come to think of it, I might be a lot more prone to taking huge risks and putting myself in dangerous situations than I had originally thought. It's not a huge surprise though due to the fact that I have been close to dying both physically and mentally purely out of neglect for the possible consequences of my doing, meaning that I had taken as large a risk as I possibly could, and that it almost backfired on me. Which did not stop me from doing the same things over and over again though, each time with the same possibility of imminent death. Not that I take pride in having done so. But this behavior definitely shows that there is a risk-taking aspect to my personality that might be a lot stronger than I had gauged it to be so far. 
And if that's good or bad, I don't know. All I do know is that it seems to exist at times. There are other moments however; moments in which I do not take the slightest of risk and remain as stale as I imagine soups in prison to be. But those are usually passing rather quickly, and almost exclusively appear in situations that I did not get in of my own accord. So, am I a risk-taker by definition? Or am I just blind to risk in situations that would actually call for both eyes being wide open? Am I reckless or just stupid? I believe the line one has to cross to turn from the one to the other to be extremely thin, borderline anorexic actually. Recklessness can have its roots in stupidity, and stupid behavior can be induced by reckless thinking. The both are interdependent, and yet they stem from different worlds, hell, from different universes altogether. Which makes this whole thing a lot more complicated. Because even if the risks of an action underway are just too obvious for one to be oblivious about their existence, and one still decides to partake in said action, one is either a complete moron or a daredevil. Leaving us at the same impasse we were at two sentences ago. Hm. This is certainly a dilemma of large proportions. I mean, I could go the easy way and just state that all people exhibiting a daredevil attitude are in reality just idiots seemingly looking to accelerate their inescapable demise by acting foolishly. But that would just be what the government does; throwing people in a pot with others that may seem similar but are in reality equipped with a myriad of differences to separate them from each other. And I am not going to stoop to that level, pandering to the lowest common denominator found in society. No, I am much rather going to shed some light on this issue. The thing that separates those taking risks for a thrill and those taking risks out of stupid negligence is essentially that those taking the risk for a thrill are trying to accelerate towards the notorious edge I have already discussed at length in order to reach a state of understanding; they're taking these risks as means to an end, as stepping stones paving the way to recognition, to an epiphany of sorts. They're looking to reach a new mental platform of being, and can only do so by pushing the risks associated with their actions to an absolute maximum. Whereas those taking risks out of stupidity and/or negligence will quickly back down once they've seen the hazards accompanying their doing; they're not looking to "see the light" when the prospect becomes reality, they're not wanting to use the danger as a mean to reach an understanding and revelation-inducing end. No, they have simply overstepped their boundaries by accident, and are paralyzed with fear like they've been struck by lighting, just looking for a way back to their normal, peril-free, dull, and relentlessly stagnating way of life. Which is fine, really. No-one should be forced to partake in any possibly dangerous action, and nobody should be allowed to force others out of their insanely boring comfort zone. Then again, no human being should be taking drugs by the definition of most governments, and we all know damn well that that is just wrong, ludicrous, and has lost all touch with real life. 
So, to all of you daredevils: go and grab one of your dullest acquaintances and throw them in a situation they cannot possibly handle in order to get these boring fuckers to finally live their lives in a way that is worthy of being called that. 

Ha. Those that know me personally will have snickered at the above sentence, simply because I am really not the type of guy to go out and do things that others would file under 'daredevil'. But I am living life to the fullest in another way, I am deliberately entering perilous situations in order to dash towards the illustrious edge, so, no, I would not consider myself as being dull, stagnating, fester, languish, or stall in any way. Maybe in the way that the sporting-fitness kind of people would consider as being idle. But I have at best slim interest for their definitions, seeing as my quest for an interesting and fulfilled life usually largely differs from theirs. This does not imply that I want to demean aforementioned group's definition though. It just means that mine is largely different, and that theirs cannot possibly apply to me just as much as mine cannot possibly apply to them. Which is not a bad thing by any means, it just shows the great diversity in the approaches different people have when it comes to the question of how to define yourself and your goals in life. It is pernicious to think your ideas and ideologies are right for everyone, and trying to insidiously push these on others is a heinous act of what essentially boils down to fascism. So, like I always say, "live and let live". That is as simple but at the same time as efficient as it gets. And I know that I have said that like a million times already, but it does not cease to be the best advice I could possibly give to anyone reading these words and pondering their meaning. 
I mean, there are obviously situations that call for an active involvement rather than passive disregard, and in those cases, such as the government trying to take your freedoms or some asshole trying to rob you, it is better not to stick to the electric principle of taking the path of least resistance, and rather go ahead and kick some ass and take some names. But generally speaking, as long as your freedom isn't at stake, it's much better to just let people go about their business and not interfere because you don't perceive it as being "right" or "morally/socially acceptable". 
So, the essence of this paragraph is essentially the anarchic principle of being able to take any and all freedoms for oneself as long as they do not obstruct the freedom of others, which, if people were smart enough to adhere to it, would make for a much better world than the war-ridden one we inhabit today.

All in all, I think that I'm touching on an all-too-familiar issue here once again: the idiocy of fellow man, and the disastrous consequences resulting from it. We humans are the only animal capable of actual thought, we're the only animal capable of judging its own actions, and yet we're completely unable to behave in a way that would honor such a high place in the world, unable to cope with the responsibility that arises from such great intellect, and completely unfit to rule over our own lives, much less over the faith of the entire fucking planet. And yet here we are, trying to do just that. And failing miserably, as always. Failure seems to be the only real constant in human history anyway. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to demean all the great achievements of mankind, we have come a long-ass way since the first ape decided it was time to walk on two legs instead of four and communicate using language instead of signs, but there has always been somewhat of a downward trend in all of our development, hasn't there? We had the industrialization, which was in itself good, but brought on inhumane treatment of workers, horrid environmental damages, and made some very fucking evil people very fucking rich. Then along came the globalization, which in itself had, and still has many positive aspects, but also created the means necessary for an even greater exploitation of the third world, a merging of standards only helpful to corporations, and an unprecedented opportunity for foreign secret services to spy on us. But well, globalization is of course not the sole responsible for these developments, and neither is the industrialization for that matter. It's us humans that cannot cope with great discoveries, it's us as a species that are unable to use these developments for the betterment of society and the environment. So, I reiterate: failure really is the only constant in human development so far. And that is sad, because there is such grand potential in all of mankind's achievements. But well, money and greed will always prevail, and we can therefore shove that potential up our asses, because we are not the ones that have the financial means necessary to make the corporate giants topple and finally use their might for good. "Good" - such a loosely defined term, but I think it is quite clear what I mean by it in this particular case.

Anyway. I am getting tired of this topic. It seems like no matter how many times I insist on it, no matter how many times I write about it, the same shit completely opposing my words just keeps on going down. So, I'll just hope that at least some of you manage to incorporate some of the things mentioned in this post in your own lives. Or at least think about some of the things and make up your own mind, you know the deal. So -- in this light -- I'll leave you be with some good music:

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dani California 
->Blah blah blah. You can rip on me all you want for posting a Red Hot Chili Peppers song on here, but fact of the matter is that this song is pretty damn cool and catchy, plus it somehow reminds me of a time not all too long ago when I did not think about things as much and everything was much simpler. And even if it didn't remind me of anything - this song is awesome, the guitar riff has an awesome ring to it, the vocals are really nicely put on there, alternating between spoken and sung, and all in all this is just a great classic tune, so... Enjoy!

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication
-> I might be pushing my luck by putting yet another RHCP tune here, but since the topic is fitting, and I just heard this track on the radio, I decided to put it on here as well. And well, the title is the same as that of my favorite non-animated TV-show, so I guess it needed to appear here at some point anyway, so why not today? Plus the song in itself is quite nice, I really enjoy the melancholic guitar that starts with the intro and is present throughout the entire song, and the lyrics are quite cool as well, so... Enjoy!

Dr. Dre feat. Ice Cube - Natural Born Killaz
-> "You've got a problem? I've a got a problem solver, and his name is revolver" Awesome lyrics, legendary MCs, grimy-ass beat, and an overall great song! And well, pretty sick lyrics, but that's the way things went down back in the day I guess, and they're mostly an expression of rage anyway. Plus, Death Row used to be the most dangerous record label, so they had a certain reputation to uphold. And regardless of all that, this tune is fucking awesome and an absolute classic, so... Enjoy!

Eminem - Mosh
-> Here is an anti-Bush song, and as you can imagine, I thoroughly despise George W. Bush (and Dick Cheney for that matter), his politics, and everything he stands for, meaning that I immensely enjoy this tune. And well, Hunter S. Thompson, who was very well known for really hating Richard Nixon, said the following during an interview in 2004: "[...] if Nixon was running against George Bush. I’d vote for Nixon. Yeah... I never thought I’d say that." Which just goes to show how bad of a president George actually was. But anyway, this is a great political song that bashes Bush quite nicely, so... Enjoy!

Dimitri Vegas, Moguai & Like Mike - Mammoth (Original Mix) 
-> I know that this song has by now reached what one could consider a mainstream-status, but that does not diminish its quality in anyway. I first heard this great track in 2012 or 13 at a friend's place, and had somewhat of an eargasm when the awesome melodic part combined with the heavy bass hit my eardrums for the first time in my life. Needless to say, I've enjoyed this song ever since, and I think that it is one of the very best tunes modern EDM has to offer, so... Enjoy!

Flux Pavilion - The Scientist 
-> You know I love the UKF Dubstep Channel, you know that I love Flux Pavilion, and you know I love emphasizing my love for the both of them, so here goes another classic Flux Pavilion tune that I should have put on here long ago but for some reason failed to do so. Anyway, this song is just fucking awesome, great vocals, beautiful melody, and an outer-worldly drop that leaves your ears bleeding but your mind happy, so... Enjoy!

Well. This post turned out to be of a little more than average length, sifting through a couple of topics, but remaining a lot more organized than the previous mess I decided to publish. From gambling to risk-taking to freedom to mankind's overall failure. A nice, logically adjacent chain of themes I think. Or at least hope. Anyway. I hope that you've enjoyed this post, and want to apologize for missing the "deadline" (the quotes are there because I have shifted said date from being every other day to every week to every ten days, meaning that there is no real regularity and therefore also no real deadline to adhere to) by a couple of days once again. The main reason for it this time is that I am enjoying my holidays at the North Sea and only have my cellphone's mobile network to rely on, which sucks. But well, I hope you're not all too disappointed and have enjoyed the above ramblings. 


Thursday, August 7, 2014

My potential

has always surpassed my ambition by far, and I cannot shake the feeling that that is something not entirely uncommon in "talented" people. Which I don't really consider myself as being actually. But there are many voices (not in my head by the way...) that have told me that what I produce here and elsewhere in writing can be considered a "potential for great talent" of sorts, but I'm not really feeling up to meeting such grand expectations to be honest. Plus whenever I get praised I tend to get somewhat lazy and start dropping in quality. So I'll just stick to being humble and work within my normal frame of mind. 

Anyway. This "great potential" thing has its roots back in school, where I was constantly told that I have such potential but am simply wasting it with my laziness and slacker-attitude. But well. I have come to terms with not fully using the alleged potential that people seem to think I have and rather stick to doing things the way I want. And so should everyone else. Those that even care that is. Most of you won't. Hell, I am not sure I do, so what's the point in all this? Well. The moments enticing you to subtly formulate sentences that might be of actual literary value and have a chance to live on long after your physical demise are those that seem the most mundane at first, so setting expectations for yourself way too high trying to meet some "potential" others tell you they see in you is bound to lead to failure. Or at least, if not even worse, to disappointment. So do not look at your favorite author or your mom's opinion to judge your work. Compared to a long-established author, your work will always seem inferior when you compare it yourself. Others will disagree, but that will make you so sure of your writing that you'll end up not even producing a coherent sentence. And your mom will always tell you what you've written is good. Others will disagree, and might be right to do so, but you'll be too blinded by the judgement of your mom or other relatives and therefore dismiss actually constructive feedback, leading once again to you producing bullshit. Now this is not only limited to writing of course, in any given situation where what you do is subject to the judgement of others the same rules apply. I am not saying that what others think of your work is not relevant mind you. I am just saying that you should not let what others think that you could do influence the things that you actually do. And as I write this I realize that I myself am subject to the very things described above, and that it is hard to actually set aside all praise and criticism ever received whilst typing. Which is not a bad thing per se, seeing as it helps me to avoid things that have been pointed out to me that I myself then saw needed changing. But it is a bad thing in the sense of me not questioning my every word as much anymore, seeing as that usually results in some typos and even erroneous use of words at times; but it is somewhat impossible to return to that state of healthy uncertainty simply because I keep receiving good feedback about my work. Which I enjoy of course. And I am not feeling any superior or anything like that either, but there is a certain emotion lingering somewhere in my subconsciousness compelling me to just type things without thinking of a theme or concept, and without re-reading my work to see if it makes sense. I just expect it to work, and somehow it usually does. Hell, every essay I've ever written in my entire life has been written that way, and I've had a decent grade for every single one of them. So, am I giving in to expectations set by others that believe in my potential by just expecting the things I write to be of quality and make sense? I don't know, maybe I am. But when I read my own entries weeks or even months after publishing them, I am usually quite contend with the result of my typing frenzies. And therefore I rely on this concept for as long as it yields the results I expect it to, namely entertaining blog posts for you guys. And well, articles, essays, my novel, essentially anything I type. Although I do do some research for news articles, so the concept does not apply entirely, but seeing as I still write them in a single sitting without laying out a structure beforehand, I guess it does apply to some extent.

But fuck all that. I am sitting here, watching "Meet The Spartans" - low-brow potty humor I know, but after a good 24 hours of being awake I am kind of enjoying it. My brain seems fried anyway, I am no longer thinking in circles but getting stuck in the corners of the squares my thinking is currently made up of. Thinking isn't smooth right now. It's an erratic, speed-frenzied jumping back and forth in the great void between my right and left ear. I may have overdone things a bit yesterday evening and night. I was just about to experience a circulatory breakdown due to the fact that I stupidly used my asthma-inhaler in my current condition.  
(By the way, I do not actually have asthma - I just fucked up my lungs by smoking cigarettes up to a degree which made my doctor tell me to at least take the goddamned spray so that I can make it to age 40. Or something like that, I was a bit fucked up when I last went there and my memories are a little hazy to be honest. The essence is that my lungs are bad and that I need to use an asthma-spray in order to alleviate the weight of the cancerous black tar pressing down on my mistreated, wheezing pulmonary alveoli.) 
My entire vision got blurry and was centered to a tunnel-like vortex before I finally managed to sit down and let my body rest for a while. I am now fairly confident that I can stand up with ease again actually.  And I just did. Not with as much ease as I had expected, but in my current state of being that does not come as a surprise to me. So, in the marginal confines that my current condition allows I am rather well. Plus writing seems to be helping quite a bit. As long as I have my brain focused on creating coherent sentences that hold some meaning, I am not getting stuck in aforementioned corners and am therefore also not persisting on whatever imaginative paranoid monomania my deranged brain decides to come up with. Which is a good thing as you can imagine, simply because getting obsessed with some craze in my altered state of mind might turn ugly on me pretty quickly. So, I'll have to keep on writing, keep the flow going, don't get stuck on obtuse syntax or vocabulary questions, just keep it moving. I need movement, I need action, I have a need for speed so to say, and I am cranked up to an almost ugly maximum at the moment. Luckily it's not quite ugly yet and albeit some muscle spasms and temporary vertigo, I am still not feeling the tiniest bit of remorse or god forbid regret. I take responsibility for my own actions. Even if that means spending the entire day hunkered down in my room, cautiously avoiding people, and not feeling able to produce anything that makes sense anymore. Yet somehow still writing, which is somewhat contradictory I know, but writing is a kind of red line guiding my thoughts in a 'friendly' direction (for lack of a better word), so it seems like the primal parts of my brain are using the composition of words to keep the more sophisticated areas of my cerebrum from a long and dreadful pitfall leading to complete and utter exasperation when trying to think in meaningful terms. And as long as that's working, at least to some extent, I feel that I can hang on to this that I currently perceive as being my last straw already dangling at a silver thread. I have to admit that that sounds a bit melodramatic, but it actually sums up my feelings when it comes to this topic quite nicely.

Damn! I stared into the nothingness with an empty mind for about five minutes without even noticing just now. It literally feels like my brain has turned to mush. A grey, tasteless, emotionless mush, left with no abilities except to serve as ballast for my skull. Sounds sad, I know. But it'll pass. Tomorrow is another day, and it's going to be a lot less junkie-like than yesterday and today turned out to be. Well, not junkie-like per se. I am still writing this sitting on my retractable bed in the comfort of my medium-well cleaned apartment, with an abundance of psychoactive substances and clean tap water. Which is essentially all I need to survive today. And if I don't overdo the psychoactive chemicals like I did yesterday, I'll be able to catch a good night's sleep, and finally get caught up on the slumber time I've missed these past days. Or at least reach my all-time favorite state of being: the psychotic, deranging, maddening and tiring half-sleep madness that leaves one more exhausted and done for afterwards than one was prior to it. I wonder why my body insists on that kind of "rest" (mind the quotes, they're there for a reason...) instead of just saying Fuck It and using its last resources to stay awake until all fuel is used up, all body parts worn out, every last shred of sanity gone, finally collapsing on or near my bed and then staying asleep for about twelve hours. Just to wake up, enjoy my full cognitive powers for a while, and then start over. Not that that is a normal routine for me, but well, it's the holidays, and friends are coming to visit me, so events tend to transpire and lead from one to another, finally leaving me in the frame of mind thoroughly described in the previous paragraphs. And at some point this lifestyle is going to catch up to me, I realize that. But until then, I am not going to spend my time worrying about when I've reached the point of no return, or when I've gone over the edge. Because, as Hunter S. Thompson rightly said: "[T]he only people who really know where it [the edge] is are the ones who have gone over.". Which is just really fucking true. I mean I know with a fair amount of certainty that I have been close, like really fucking close to the notorious edge. But I cannot say where the edge would actually have been, and if I could I probably wouldn't be around anymore to write about it.

I think that in a certain way, we're all trying to make tiny steps towards the mystery that is the edge in order to test ourselves, to see how close we can get without going over. Which might be considered as being a stupid, and at times even a downright suicidal kind of behavior. But we all do it in our own way. Some use drugs, others sport, others fast cars or motorcycles, others violence, and yet other people use sexual perversions to get as close to where each individual perceives the edge to be. By the way, by "sexual perversions" I do mean pretty hardcore stuff, like S&M, bondage, that kind of shit. I do not however mean downright inhumane and intolerable perversions such as pedophilia or necrophilia. As to bestiality, I suppose if that's what gets you going, then go for it; just make sure that no PETA-members are near you when you do, otherwise you'll be burned at the stake. Why that is, you ask? Well, the goat did not consent to either having put a filthy penis inside of it, or to having its poor penis stuck inside of your vagina/butt. At least that's the kind of reasoning PETA-people will subject your poor ears to. So be prepared for that, and bring ear-plugs. And ask them how to make sure that the animal consents; if they can give you an actual answer to that, they might have at least acquired some good writers or actually found some pseudo-smart ecology student willing to talk to the rest of the world on their behalf in a language that people understand instead of the usual PETA mumble-jumble. But I am almost entirely confident that that will not be the case. I am not here to rant on PETA though, at least not today. What I was saying before this tangent about bestiality and PETA appeared was that we're all wanting to "live life on the fast lane" and thereby approach the edge at rapidly increasing speeds, each and every one of us in their own personal way. In the minuscule confines of our own perception of 'extremes' we all strive to reach them, we all want to be outside of boundaries in some way. Even those most people would not consider as being anywhere close to any extremes are actually already approaching their own personal edge at their own, individual pace. Which might be hard to believe, even I find it to be so, but there is some more or less solid evidence that you can see in those you would consider as non-extreme or even downright lame in your lives: In their perception of the world, they're not taking the normal and unadventurous road, but rather the exciting one that is filled with danger; in "their world", they're approaching the illustrious edge rather quickly, even if it may seem like they haven't even found the proper cardinal direction to go in yet. 

"Where is he going with this?", might be the question on your mind right now. Well, I am not entirely sure either. I've jumped from my supposedly great potential to my process to my current condition to the edge to bestiality and PETA, and finally got back to the topic of the edge. An expression for the boundary whose existence I've always been aware of that I found, as you might have guessed already, in a book written by Hunter S. Thompson. I mean I had of course heard people refer to the edge, and I had a vague clue that that might be the right word to use to describe the margin separating fun from folly, trip from psychosis, and essentially life from death, but only in Thompson's works was I able to acquire the proper depth required to understand his notion of the edge. And as soon as I had done so - understood what he meant by it - I realized that that is exactly the figurative place I had always somewhat known about but had never been sure what term I could use to label it with. "Cliff" would have been the best thing I could have come up with on the spot. And if I had actually spent much time pondering the issue I probably would have wound up using the word Edge whether I had known of HST or not. Because - as most things written by him do - the expression just fits that figurative point of no return like a boxing glove fits on the fists of Muhammad Ali. Thompson has found what I consider to be the perfect way to express his thoughts, which are quite similar to my own actually, and his writings always leave me longing for that kind of rugged perfection that never considered itself as having reached any kind of perfection yet. I want the kind of feeling elicited by being considered close to excellence by a broad audience just by doing what one enjoys doing without having to think about it a thousand times in terms of quality. I actually already have that "gift" (again, for lack of a better word) to some extent, as I had lain out earlier in this beast of a post, but not in the magnitude in which Hunter S. Thompson had it of course. Not even close, really. But well. I am still young and sure as hell do have quite a bit of ambition when it comes to developing my writing to the point mentioned above. I think I have de facto found my calling in life: Writing. I know I have approached that topic before, but it doesn't cease to amaze me: That my ramblings put into words fused into sentences might be of actual value to others. And that I might be able to get my foot in the door in the field of journalism, and of course that I have started writing a novel and will go on working on it so that I can release it in 2015 or 2016 or so. Perhaps earlier, perhaps later. But whatever I end up doing after my studies, it will definitely be something where writing will be my sole responsibility; I don't even want the big money in this aspect, I would just like to be able to write as much as I want to and/or can on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis, and actually collect a paycheck, however tiny it may be, for doing so. That's all I really want out of life actually: To be able to sustain myself and my lifestyle just by writing. To have an actual cash payment in my hands proving the quality of my writing to me. Because nobody is going to pay anything for bad writing, at least that's the assumption I am operating under until proven otherwise. Let's just hope it works. I mean you don't have to, it's not like I have any faith in any of your projects succeeding; I don't even know what any of you guys' plans for the future consist of, and, as harsh as that might sound I am very sure that for the most of you, I don't even want to know. But that was just rude, wasn't it? If anyone felt insulted by this, I am actually inclined to apologize this one time, because I have just been really unfair: I mean you're the people making this all worthwhile, without you my blog would be a ghost-town with only a single spirit floating around booing at itself. A sad sight. But my snide comment above was just a conclusion drawn from statistics. My readership is very roughly composed to fifty percent of Americans and to another fifty percent of Germans. Which it is quite definitely not in reality; but for the sake of this argument, it is. Anyway. We have one in four Americans suffering from insanity, and seeing as I don't trust things "Made in the US", let's make that two in four Americans suffering from a mental illness of sorts. On the other side of the big pool we have the Germans with one out of three people suffering from a psychic problem. That figure seems a tad too low too, so let's say every one and a half persons out of three suffer from a mental problem of sorts. I have about 40 regular readers, 20 US, 20 German. Let's do some math for the first and last time on here: 2/4 = 0.5 * 20 = 10; so ten of the twenty American readers are bat-shit crazy or at least close to it. And seeing as I have adjusted the numbers for Germany a bit, it boils down to the same: 1.5/3 = 0.5 * 20 = 10. Meaning that ten of my twenty German readers are insane as well. So with twenty out of forty people reading this theoretically needing to be locked away in an asylum for the mentally-ill, how can I show any serious interest in your future projects? I mean, put yourself in my position, and then think if you would have said anything even remotely similar to what I just said. I think you would be lying to yourself if you said no altogether; you may of course disagree with me on the things I am saying or even show me that the statistics I found are completely bogus, but you'd still have to admit that you would have acted similarly on a different level so to speak, had you been in my position. 

Wow. I am not even sure if there is any sense in the above paragraph. I hope so, because if I discover that there isn't any meaning whatsoever in these deranged ramblings from a brain gone rogue on speed and sleep-deprivation, I'll have to rewrite quite a lot of words, and then this post will be delayed even further, so I really hope that these words I am typing right now will be able to stay where they are and not be subject to eradication on the morning that is bound to follow; 'bound to follow' because that's the way life goes, you can call it Karma, Ying&Yang, or just refer to Cypress Hill's "What Goes Around Comes Around", which is essentially the concept of Karma put in Rap. Anyhow. There will always be a morning following a night, just like good will be done onto you if you hath done good onto others. Trust me, I am not trying to get all preachy on you here, but these concepts hold such a fundamental truth that I feel the need to urge each and every one of you reading this to try and implement it in your own lives. It's really as easily done as it is said for once. You just have to behave like a decent human being, and that's the way most others will behave towards you. I mean, there are always going to be a few assholes wherever you go but you should not make their behavior affect yours negatively, and rather have it do the opposite: Continue being polite to everyone, be even more so than usually, and think of aforementioned assholes when you want to do something that you know to be wrong/immoral/bad to do, and then remind yourself that you have no reason whatsoever to stoop to their level. Their level being the kind of cheap stupid thrill people seem to get out of violence and asshole-behavior nowadays; even more so than the ancient Romans used to actually. A level that most of the country, hell, the entire fucking world has been devolving towards. Which is unfortunate, really. So many potential readers lost in the works of a system that will grind them down to small conforming shells of their former personalities without any form of individual identity. And are then left with a feeling of great emptiness inside their chests whenever the TV-set is turned off and the world stops giving a shit about the things these parasitic clones brainwashed by oppressive governments wanting to do what the fuck they want without having to ask a congress or god forbid the citizens are actually made of, which basically amounts to nothing at all: Assholes looking for weaker assholes that they can get in a cocky arguments with that ultimately lead to fist-fights that are of no use to anyone but these guys' egos. And even these egos have no real use for the feeling of superiority achieved by winning a fight anymore, seeing as they have long ago been caved out by parental abuse and inferiority complexes. Either of the two actually, not necessarily both, and possibly something different altogether. All options are quite hard, but we all know that that's the way shit goes down in the real world: You work hard, you study hard, you take on usually unpaid internships, you learn about "real work" in a "real office", and finally you'll wind up being the doormat of some corporate plug that was born with a gold-plated diamond spoon in his filthy rich and spoiled mouth. And if you dare complaining about his utter lack of social skills and decent behavior, that will be the longest you have worked for that company. They [the corporations] don't like people that cause trouble, they don't want actual thinkers. Not even in the highest management levels anymore. The companies pay some experts to take care of all the things that managers used to take care of. And then the managers themselves are left with a few coordinating tasks that do not require any thought whatsoever: The retarded love-child of a donkey with down syndrome and an ape having literally shit instead of brains could do the jobs I have seen managers being appointed for these days. Which just proves my point: Most corporations are not looking for anyone that has the ability to think on their feet and/or be creative anymore, but rather for a clone, a robotic parody of a human being only designed to take and complete orders. Of course there are managers still in need of doing their job and being creative whilst doing so, but their numbers are rapidly receding. This indicates quite clearly that the cold business world that was never really my favorite place on the industrial checkerboard that is the economy has now completely ruined my faith in anything related to companies and corporations, meaning that I will definitely have to get some job in which I can really just stick to writing; I need the kind of job I had already indicated my affinity for earlier. I mean, I actually need it! I cannot go on for three years studying business if I can't live out my passion for writing in the meantime. 

Hah. I should probably have gone to writing/journalism/creative classes instead of opting for the safe choice of studying business first to have some sort of base that I can build my future career, in whatever field that may be on. But well, usually the safe bet is the best bet, so it might turn out as an advantage for me being safely enrolled in something that will lead to me having a diploma which is internationally recognized and enables me to find a decently paying job to make ends meet. At least that's the plan. I hope to seriously get into either my novel or journalism before that point in time arrives though, seeing as I'd already have an occupation then that could get me some sort of paycheck and that has the additional bonus of not revolving around me sitting at a fancy desk wearing a tight-ass suit that does not even leave enough room for the boys to hang, if you catch my drift. I just fucking hate dressing like a goddamned penguin with the sole purpose of looking socially acceptable to people I have nothing in common with whatsoever. What's the problem with a slightly sagged pair of jeans, a t- or khaki-shirt, and a good old pair of sneakers from Nike, AND1 or similar brands. Not Adidas though, I have for some inexplicable reason always disliked Adidas clothing, especially when compared to its Nike counter-parts. The cause for my disliking of Adidas is probably my predilection for Nike products that has been prevalent in me for almost a decade now without any reasons based on any logic whatsoever. The Nike-swoosh is just way cooler than the Adidas-stripes can ever hope to be. But that's just my opinion and completely irrelevant, as I feel pretty much everything I am going to type from hereon will be.

So I am putting a stop to this now gargantuan beast of a post that somehow turned out to be of almost 4600 words in length now already. I don't know how that happened to be honest. I sat down looking at about 700 words. What ensued then is what I remember as a myriad of scenes just flashing in front of my intensely exhausted eyes from the dreaded hours past; and after that I was staring at about 4200 words of text. I have no idea in hell how my exasperated and by now thoroughly used up body still awake from last night managed to actually compose such a long entry without having it turn to complete gibberish or completely detaching itself from a golden thread that might actually not even be existent here. But if it is, I have definitely not detached the rest of the text entirely from it albeit of course straying from the general path laid out by said thread a little bit every now and then. But well, given my still quite heavily altered state of mind I think that this might actually make for an interesting read, or maybe at least show you how morbidly weird thought patterns can get with a long enough lack of sleep and a large enough concentration of chemical stimulants in the blood-stream. It can be quite confusing to those having never partaken in any form of use of an "illegal" substance (I do not think that anyone has the right to label a substance that will only harm those who willingly take it as illegal, hence the quotes around that filthy word), but I trust that it offered you a direct albeit possibly bewildering insight into the frame of mind of someone under the influence of an essentially dirty and for some reason also magnetic stimulant (yep, you cannot use a credit card to dry and align Speed - it will fuck up the card's magnetic stripe and make it completely unusable). 

Anyway. I have already said before that no more good will come out of my continuous typing, and yet I went on to write a whole new paragraph filled with semi-usable info about the creation of this post and Speed. 
Well, I hope you have been entertained, shocked, insulted, excited, angered, amused, bewildered, or simply informed, or all, or none of the here-mentioned by this truly gigantic post. Whichever emotion it was, I am just glad to elicit any kind of feeling in audiences, seeing as that proves that I have reached these people in some way, to some extent. In this light, I'll leave you be, and as always, share some great music with you:

James Brown - It's a man's world 
-> Ah. James Brown. Great musician with a grand voice from somewhere out of space. And well, this is one of his most famous songs, but that's not the reason for its appearance here. Not even the message is the actual reason for it either. No, this song is here because I just watched "Smoking Aces 2" and it is featured in a scene there. And that somehow elicited a goose-bumpy feeling in my groin, which made me borderline anxious to put it up here. But regardless of the reason, this song is just fucking awesome, so... Enjoy!

Warren Zevon - Wanted Dead Or Alive 
-> Well, I've just recently discovered Warren Zevon and his music, but I have to say that I fiercely enjoy it and will therefore be posting a couple of his songs on here every now and then. And well, I really like "Californication"; I idolize Hunter S. Thompson; and I have always been fond of guitar-based music anyway, meaning that this song really speaks to me on a number of levels and therefore needed featuring on here, so... Enjoy!

Warren Zevon - Mr. Bad Example 
-> As I just said, I've grown to really enjoy this guy's music, and this song is just too grand for words... A self-designated asshole spouting filthy words to live by if being infamous is what you thrive for. And well, all in all this is just a great piece of classic American music, so... Enjoy!

Pegboard Nerds - Frainbreeze 
-> Well here we go again, the second time Pegboard Nerds are on here, and, hell, they deserve to be! Nice atmospheric intro that already hints at the ensuing awesomeness and is rounded up by a great drop that remains in a melodic, glitch-y kind of realm which I really enjoy! All in all a great song with some nice rhythm and melody combined using heavy drops infused into a three and a half minute long piece of greatness that is just, well, great, so... Enjoy!

Spag Heddy - Still Raggamuffin (feat. dESH) 
-> OH HELL FUCKING YES!! This is so fucking awesome I once again lack the words to describe it properly! I've featured Spag Heddy on here before I am sure, but I have not ever heard any genre-crossing by them yet, and I have to say that I am very impressed. To say the least actually. This is so fucking grand, I can't even begin to stop being insanely enthusiastic about it! Amazing vocals, crazy-ass drops, and an overall timeless piece of incredible music, so... Enjoy!

Nature One Inc - The Golden Twenty (Jerome's Official Anthem Mix) 
-> I WAS THERE! IT WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME! I do not have the words to describe how amazing it was to be there! I already attended last year, but this time we had planned everything out much better and were not as ill-prepared as we had been the year before, so it was even more enthralling than it was back then! And well, this is not the anthem I was looking for, but it's still up to par and manages to reflect the goose-bump-inducing awesomeness that is Nature One quite well, so... Enjoy!

Wu-Tang Clan - Gravel Pit
-> Such a great classic track, how could I have forgotten about posting it on here until now? I don't know. What I do know though is that this song is fucking awesome, the video is funny as hell, and well I love Wu-Tang anyway, so... Enjoy!

Snoop Dogg - Ain't No Fun (feat. Nate Dogg, Warren G, Kurupt) 
-> Tha Dogg Pound has always been making superior funk-influenced gangster rap, and this song is by no means an exception. Some of the best MCs of the time getting together on a funky-ass beat on one of the great classic rap albums of all time to create a great track that delivers the very essence of pimp prevalent in west-coast rap back in the day. Can't believe I hadn't put this up here before, it's one of my favorite songs ever come to think of it, so... Enjoy!

Busta Rhymes - Break Ya Neck 
-> Another one of these songs that I cannot believe haven't been put up on here yet. I mean, this is like THE classic Busta Rhymes track. And I have neglected it until today. That is sad actually. But anyway, this tune is so fucking awesome and raw; Busta is one of the ill-est MCs out there, and his former style which is still prevalent in this piece of musical genius was so grand, he really brought rap to another level, so... Enjoy!

Well, it took an eternity for this post to appear on the internet once again, and I have to apologize for this. I typed it in the middle of a speed-frenzied night and could not for the life of me remember half of what I wrote the next morning, so I wanted to re-read the whole thing before posting it. And I still had to add music to it as well, plus the entire process was halted by the Nature One festival for a couple of days, meaning that I was unable to finish it off until today. But it's done now. I am unsure about its quality and the depth of its content, but I think it is as always adequate. At least I hope that it is.
I just hope that this entry is enjoyable to you in spite of the many erratic and jumpy lines of thought barely having any actual logical adjacency present throughout the entire thing.