- I am a dedicated and ambitious aspiring freelance journalist, blogger, and writer. My main asset is my international background - I was born in Germany, then moved to France, and proceeded to grow up in China - and the cultural open-mindedness inherent to such a life story. I specialize in opinion pieces, but am also well-versed in travel/event reporting, and writing general news stories. I blog regularly on my two pages, and have contributed to multiple online publications, including Gonzo Today, a web page dedicated to Hunter S. Thompson's "gonzo" journalism and his legacy. If you have any writing needs, I am the right person to talk to! I will be able to match the tone and style you desire, will work overtime to make you happy, and will deliver high quality content. You can find me on Facebook and LinkedIn as "Mark Linnhoefer", and on Twitter as "@markalinnhoefer". For work proposals please feel free to use the contact form on either of my blogs!
Saturday, February 22, 2014
So, this might end up as being rather dull actually, seeing as I am only half awake, almost dozing off, and typing this in an opiate-like trance of blissful ignorance of everything happening around me at this time.
God, I could use a good speed frenzy right now. Frantic and erratic bursts of usable babbling would probably be a great starting point for a new "Food For Thought" segment, or maybe a novel, or something. Or nothing at all. At least it'd be feeling like it were something though, and I'd be energetic enough to actually put some productive and relevant words in logic adjacency on paper.
Instead I am just sitting here, slowly typing away on my laptop whilst staring at my wall bearing a "Pulp Fiction" poster, and thinking about... nothing. Like literally, there is a great empty void filling my frontal lobe, a void for which I lack the vocabulary, or rather for which language lacks the words needed to describe it properly without using a great deal of synonyms for "nothingness" and sounding like some transcendental wannabe guru asshole who's just out for whatever amount of cash your eternal soul is worth to you. So I'm just not going to characterize, classify, or even mention aforementioned emptiness (again).
Nope, forget it. This is not going to turn out to be one of those oh-so-deep, but in the end meaningless, pieces about the "white page", the infamous "writer's block", which in my opinion just describes the brief moments in which sobriety becomes so blatantly present that no further literary excrement is produced until the brain has returned to its normal, lucid state of dream-like consciousness needed for real writing, no, this is going to be a normal-ass blog entry, in which I'm, as usually, not actually going to be talking about anything relevant or interesting. I just got my soda out of the freezer, and it hasn't burst yet, which is nice. Cold soda. Cold. Soda. C. S. CS. Counter Strike. Coca-Cola and other soft-drink manufacturers are pushing 'killer video games' on kids, alert the fucking presses, biggest cover-up since 9/11 discovered! Meh, I don't know where I'm actually going with this... could go into anti-America slurs, talk about the idiocy of most conspiracy theorists, or even rehash the by what feels like a century now old debate about the alleged dangers of video games.
But would you really be interested in hearing any of that? Probably. But am I really going to write about any of that? Probably not. At least not now. Too demanding, too much coherent thought required. Not what I want to do right now.
What I actually would like to share with you today has no relation whatsoever to any of these topics. Because I don't actually know what I want to share with you today, I feel like I've essentially used up all lessons I have to give. Well that's not true either. If I had already given each and every lesson I had wanted to, and to the people that are in desperate need of them, the world would be a much better place by now. A veritable utopia, based on my Swiss-cheese-resembling brain and the jangled outputs of randomized thoughts that it emits from time to time.
Could you imagine? Wouldn't that be awesome, a few billion people striving to keep themselves happy whilst not constricting others rights to do so?
Actually, I think it wouldn't be all bad. After all, I am mostly too peaceful and lazy to do anything even remotely harmful to others. And wouldn't it be great to see all people act like they were actual born with a brain and learned to used it? Aren't we at the top of the fucking food chain for that exact reason? Although I know this to be true, it seems like we have become too comfortable in that position and have therefore started to devolve. No one is using the little frontal lobe capacity they have left, but everyone seems to think they are, resulting in tons of mental bullshit being spread like an airborne virus throughout our atmosphere, infecting mind and body of everyone affected, making those susceptible to lies even dumber and annoying those with enough intellectual strength to resist it up to the point of throwing social interaction overboard in order to escape it.
And yes, I'm back at my favorite topic: society and its many, many faults. But why the fuck not? It's always been the one prevalent annoyance throughout my life. The heavily weighing kilograms of piled up crap on my shoulders, put there by dogmas and expectations, rules and regulations, and most of all by the ever-increasing, omnipresent stupidity of mankind, is dragging me down into an abyss filled with the mangled corpses of morale and justice that have been violently raped and disfigured prior to their execution.
Of course there's all that crap about the light at the end of the tunnel, the equally omnipresent hope residing within each and every one of us, the great salvation that will make us all feel high in the end, but isn't all that really just an excuse used to perpetuate the status quo? And why the fuck should I have to wait until people decide to finally become what I perceive as normal? Until they develop some sort of common sense, of morale? No way in hell is that happening.
Which is why I have decided long ago to stop giving a shit about society, and focus on myself and those that matter to me, e.g. my girlfriend, my friends, and my family.
And yeah, I do think that respecting those I meet, trying to help those in need, and freeing those in chains are all equivalently important values to uphold, but that does not mean that I will start putting up with, even paying attention to, or god forbid caring about all and any issues arising from the stupidity of fellow man, as egoistically fucked up as that may sound to some, but it's just not worth my god damn time.
But I'm getting off the non-existing topic. And just realized that I could easily have used above material for the next "Food For Thought". But I'll find something else to talk about, don't worry, I'm not done annoying you with my ramblings quite yet. Notwithstanding I have to admit that it does get hard to actually sit down and write something down lately, I feel a little worn out, like an old whores' uterus. Maybe not quite as worn out as that, but you get the picture, it might be the lack of misery in my personal life lately, but my scope of thoughts on topics seems to have narrowed. I find myself more passively accepting utterances made in my surroundings in lieu of questioning and defying every syllable. But as I said, it's probably due to the fact that I am not exposed to many potentially aggravating subjects latterly, and also due to my happiness which makes most things I encounter shine in a neutral, or even downright positive light.
Wrapping this entry up, I think it's safe to say that I have just spent an entire day typing essentially 1300 words of meaninglessness, or of mediocre meaningfulness at best. But perhaps I also just lack the self-esteem to assess my own works. Whichever one it happens to be, it doesn't really matter. I am just enjoying having a medium in which I can express myself publicly in the only way I ever could: using words.
Beautiful, carefully selected, marvelously intangible, yet blatantly real words, arranged in sentences and paragraphs, brought together by intellect, and fused by characters, resulting in the ultimate self-revelation to an anonymous audience. It's almost sensual. I've never realized just how much I actually enjoy the art of writing, albeit not being entirely proficient at it. But I try, and do believe that certain improvements in style have been noticeable since the creation of this blog. Anyway, that's all I got for today.
I hope you enjoyed this rather random rancid rambling, and maybe were able to extract a few things to take away from it.
In that light, and with some music, I'll leave you be for now:
Bruno Mars feat. Damian Marley - Liquor Store Blues
-> although I would usually consider this song as being a little to charts-like for my liking, it is a great tune, we've all got our personal little 'liquor store blues' story and can all relate to the feelings being expressed in this track, and it does express those emotions nicely without getting depressing... Enjoy! :)
Brent Sinatra - Hit U
-> no idea how to classify this, the beat sounds Hip Hop, but has electronic components in it definitely not indigenous to the genre, and the guitar part later on also defies any attempt of sorting into a specific genre, but this track is overall genius, I really like it, so... Enjoy! :)
Guns'n'Roses - Live And Let Die
-> this is the Guns'n'Roses cover of the famous Paul and Linda McCartney song made for the Bond Movie of the same name, at which point I have to say that the old Bond movies were way way better than any new one will ever be, especially with a blonde(!) James, I mean what the fuck are you people thinking? Anyway, great song, and at least equivalent cover...Enjoy! :)
Three 6 Mafia - Hard Out Here For A Pimp
-> from the Hustle&Flow soundtrack, which is a classic movie that is relevant enough for you to be bitch-slapped should you not have seen it yet! And the song itself is also really awesome, and even more so when connecting it to aforementioned movie! So, go watch the movie, listen to this great track, and... Enjoy! :)
Koven - Another Home
-> Ok, we can all agree that the music "video" is cheap and essentially completely unworthy of referring to itself as such. But besides that, the song is really great, melodically amazing dubstep, Koven is a really talented and original artist, so if you really like this why not invest a little in the upcoming release? Just a thought, I know you can as well just download it for free, but nevertheless... Enjoy! :)
Hopsin - Nocturnal Rainbows
-> I have linked to Hopsin previously, to "Sag My Pants" if I recall correctly. This song is a lot darker and almost depressing compared to aforementioned previous linked track, but holds some essential truths, some speculated, borderline conspiracy-related thoughts, and in general some deep insights about society and the world, somewhat related to some of the points outlined in one of the many paragraphs above. Anyway... Enjoy! :)
So, a bit on the "dark side" again with this post, but hopefully it was nonetheless enjoyable to you! :)
Friday, February 14, 2014
since the creation of this blog, I have actually been inspired by my readers for a post. Not by the poll of course, which only yielded one single fucking vote (that I personally saw being cast by the way), but by the amount of page views. Exactly, simply by the number of people having accessed this page today. The last few days have been quiet, with mostly less than 10 or even close to zero people viewing the blog, and all of a sudden this number rose to almost thirty today, the day before Valentines Day.
I mean, seriously? Who would be desperate enough to actually want to hear my ramblings a day before that? That's like asking for a nice push towards suicidal thoughts for all of the mentally unstable and clinically depressed people that I imagine actually reading this.
But, as unfortunate at it may be to the fans of my cynical streak, I actually don't have any dark thoughts about it looming in my mind this year, because I actually have someone to spend this day with for the first time ever.
And shit, I am excited about it! It feels like being wrapped into a nice worn blanket woven from caring wool, and then being served a nice cup of hot chocolate covered in loving cream, all whilst snuggling up with an amazing person and watching ones favorite movie! It's exhilarating! It just feels good to wake up in the morning and know that you're not lonely anymore.
Don't get me wrong though, I am still thoroughly despised by the commercial exploitation of the greatest human feeling for cheap profits and phony rituals that completely differ from the actual concept of love and relationships, dragging you into a cliched, disney-like fairytale that always ends in a rude awakening due to the fact that it has lost all touch with real life. Of course, true love is an outer-worldly feeling that is damn near impossible to describe in any way, and being in love with someone as amazing as I am makes your life seem like somewhat of a BS fairytale, but by no means should it be degraded to those cheap fucking bullshit lies that are offered each and every Valentines Day again, pandering to the lowest denominator available to the gullible wanna-be romeos of modern day wanna-be romances.
Am I not a cynical asshole at times? Happily in a relationship and still bitching about the negative sides of Valentines Day. But what can I say, these things tend to piss me off, and I tend to vent about stuff here, so yeah.
And isn't it kind of disgusting how companies target exactly the kind of people who are prone to deception on any given the day of the year, and are of course even more so when it comes to emotional decisions? And isn't it even more disgusting that e-dating services specifically target those poor lonely souls out there still looking for a better half? These poor saps are being taken on a ride in the days surrounding the holiday of love, and that is just not fucking cool.
I mean usually I would say that if you're actually susceptible to those kind of blatant corporate lies it's your own damn fault. But when it comes to these kind of extreme emotions it's just too much, that kind of shit can drive people crazy, trust me, I know from personal experience the adverse effects emotions can have on ones life, and toying with that stuff should be off-limits.
But as always, money will prevail, and the market is enormous, because love is universal. Everybody loves, even those that say they don't, even those that themselves think they don't. It's somehow deeply rooted into our being, and I mean beyond the natural instinct to reproduce. Something inside our minds, programmed into our mental makeup, compels us to search for a better half, a 'soul-mate' if you will, someone who completes our faults and makes us strive to elevate the status quo to the illustrious "Cloud 9", to the highest of heights, making our spirits soar, and illuminating mind and soul alike.
I am getting somewhat lost in thought here. I am not even sure if I had a central point I wanted to address, or if I had one and simply forgot it while writing this entry.
But I guess one point I wanted to make is that I am kind of flattered that the views for my page suddenly peaked before a day like Valentines Day, which is a day on which one could definitely expect me to be ranting about, as I sort of did already.
And this already brings me to my second point, which is that despite my unkind words about the corporate bullshit that happens on Valentines Day, I am still actually looking forward to it this year, because, as mentioned earlier, I have a special someone to share it with for the first time in my life, and because of that I can not remain as cynically negative about the whole thing as I would have been before. And that is actually good! I even feel healthier because I have been feeling happier, which again proves the superiority of the mind over the body it inhabits.
Happiness is a funny thing, especially when it stems from love, and especially on this day. Bear in mind my last post as I say this though, I am looking through rose-tainted glasses at the moment, but I actually don't feel like taking them off, which is amazing, and really makes me gain a sense of child-like wonder and anticipation about the future once again. But, as I said, bear in mind my last post as you read these words. The world hasn't changed, the same shit is going on, it's just my perception of it that has changed - because of love, and for the better - but still, just my perception was altered. This alteration is in itself simply amazing though, feels like a warm tingling sensation slowly moving from my stomach throughout my entire body, surrounding me in a warm glowing field of positive sensations that are too surreal to be put into words and induce a trance of happiness and loving emotions culminating into three little words that need to be said twice by two in order to mean anything at all.
As you all have noticed by now I am in a really good mood, and tomorrow will for once not be a wallowing day of red wine and generic sleeping pills and painkillers, and that is really awesomely amazing!
In this light, here's some music...:
Snoop Dogg - It's you I adore
-> Well, since it's Valentines Day I also have to acknowledge my earliest love - Miss Mary Jane, and there is no song that describes the feeling like this beautiful piece of music by Snoop Dogg... Enjoy! :)
Meat Loaf - I would do anything for love
-> First off, this is an epically amazing track filled with beautiful emotions, and Meat Loaf's voice is fucking awesome and the music itself is also breathtaking, all in all a marvelous song! But what I have always wondered - what the hell is "that"? What the fuck is he talking about? If anyone knows feel free to contact me in any way you see fit, I need to know this!
Adventure Club - Need Your Heart (feat. Kai)
-> An unbelievably beautiful and heavy song by Adventure Club, the epic and soft vocals slowly rising up to form a sound wave that crashes in your ears like on a steep shore of a tropical islands, leaving you exhausted, but happy... Enjoy! :)
Twisted Sister - We're not gonna take it
-> This is such a classic, it had to be put on here at some point, and this is just as good a time as any. The video is rib-crushingly funny, the music and the message is awesome, and albeit their questionable look, Twisted Sister made awesome music that is still as relevant today as it was back then!
Busta Rhymes - Gimme Some More
-> Another hilarious video. Busta Rhymes is one sick mofo, but that is what makes him such a genius, and his flow has always been out of this world, making him the an extremely complete MC, although I have to say that I wish he would still be doing this style of music instead of his new rapping as fast as possible style, which is is still insane don't get me wrong, but I preferred it when he was still humorous and creative like in this song... Enjoy!
Dj Fresh - Gold Dust (Flux Pavilion Remix)
-> You all know damn well how much I adore Flux's music, and I just heard this song a couple of times in a playlist I was listening to while typing this post, and I am pretty sure I have not put it anywhere on this blog yet, so I figured it's about time I did... Great song by a great artist! Enjoy! :)
Btw, the date changed while I was writing this, so somewhere around the beginning of the post I am still referring to today being the day before Valentines Day, and somewhere around the middle I am talking about it being today, which happened because I took a whole lot longer to finish typing this entry than I had expected. But well, what don't I do for you guys? :D
Anyway, happy valentines day to all of those who want to hear it this year, and to all of those who don't just remember my previous post.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
The reason I am asking you this is quite simply that I am actually happy. Yes, you heard, right I am fucking happy. Like in the god damn Pharrell Williams song. I haven't been truly happy in a long time, so this is huge.
I mean I can remember and assess most minor and major events and interactions that led to the emotion of happiness I am feeling at the moment, but today really is the culmination, or climax so to say, of all of the aforementioned, and it feels great. I can actually smile about stupid ass shit and act like a fucking moron without feeling like one at the moment, which, if you look at it the way I do is actually the downside to happiness. Being happy makes you stupid, and as fucked up as that may sound, it is still very true. Well not entirely maybe. The stupidity arising from happiness that I mean is the glorification of everything that's happening around me, which only occurs when I'm happy, e.g.:
The annoying ass bum from around the corner is asking me for change again? Great, he remembered my name, and just smells like pee today, not like pee and poo as usually!
Some annoying asshole is spouting off stupid ass things? At least he's trying to talk about something important, let's leave him be!
People seems to be more stupid than ever? Well I am not becoming dumber, so they're probably not either, I must be imagining things!
I mean, yeah, ignorance is bliss, but why is it that happiness is almost as blinding towards reality as love? Why the fuck do we tend to put on our rose-tainted glasses every single time we have an increased release of endorphins, serotonin and dopamine in our brain?
Maybe I just answered my own question with that, but still, although I do like being happy, I hate the fact that my surroundings become somewhat deluded as soon as I am, like I'm reaching the end of a very long drinking binge and can not be sure anymore as to whether things are as they seem, or just seem differently to me because of my temporary mental instability.
So, the conclusion that inevitably has to be drawn is that happiness (and love for that matter, but that's a whole other topic that will get its own post at some point) deceives you into seeing the same reality with a pink distortion and a big fucking smile, making you very susceptible to people that have learned to spot that behavior and exploiting it by pretending to be feeling the same emotions that are based purely on chemical reactions within our primitive cerebrum driven by lesser desires. Hence my constant cynicism and loathing. I want to be kept in the factual world as long as possible, the emotionally tainted world view is just something that slowly grinds down my brain to a gooey mass of oh so happy thoughts and primitive satisfaction up to a point of no return, up to the point of me becoming a happily following duckling, running after an useless, old, rubber boot without ever questioning things, because - hey - after all I'm happy, right?
But still, like hard drugs, happiness in moderation is fine. And seeing as today has been the first day for a large number of days that I am actually happy, I think I'll be alright.
So, let's focus on that for a second: I am actually happy. How this came into being, you ask? Well, I'm not going to discuss every little detail here, this is a public platform after all, but in the past weeks a few events transpired and choices were made that all led to a pretty awesome time lately, finally culminating into the resonating happiness that I feel today. Resonating from when, isn't today the first happy day for a long time, you ask? Well, sometimes it takes a day or two to actually realize that something made you really happy, and when that realization hits you, the rose-tainted glasses magically appear and you're fucking stupid for a while. Then, luckily, these feelings slowly fade like a withering flower in order to decay and decompose, thereby becoming nutrients for a new flower and new feelings, completing the circle of... well, happiness I guess.
Anyway, of course not only transpiring events led to my being happy, people were also a factor in that, but seeing as none of you really know my personal life, friends, etc. (and I intend to keep it that way), I will not go into any detail here.
Yeah I know, writing a post about me being happy and then giving essentially no reasons, but only clues to reasons as to why that is, is kind of a dick move towards you guys, but if you knew aforementioned details you would understand why I am not sharing this in its entirety to a worldwide audience. Actually those of you with a functioning brain will be able to put some of the pieces together, so there should be an approximate picture of what happened forming in your minds. And if not, that's even better.
I don't know what it all means anyway. I can be happy today, but tomorrow I will wake up once again to the sound of waves of shit that are slowly but steadily dissolving my will to fight the good fight day after day, I will once again wake up to a cynical outlook on a dying planet inhabited by a population that's slowly rotting from the inside of its own values, structures and concepts. I mean, that's what I am hearing and looking at now too, but I am alright with it, i.e. I ignore it, simply because I feel too damn happy to care about anything else at the moment, for the time being.
But I know that that will change soon enough, so I am enjoying it while it lasts, while I can still ignore the constant beating against my temples caused by the same fucking waves that are trying to break my will each and every day.
I guess what I would say summing up is that happiness is fine, happiness is fun, but try to remember what you thought about things prior to being really happy and be wary of the differences you will notice, and realize that they're just delusions created by your insufferably happy brain.
And also that I am happy today and mildly experiencing those delusions. Just wanted to say that for the record.
And I think I'll leave you guys with these thoughts, and, of course, as always some good music...:
Gus Black - Paranoid
-> awesome acoustic remake of the original Sabbath song, I first heard this version whilst watching "Californication", which, if you haven't seen it yet, is definitely a series worth watching, the main character is incredibly cool, and the whole storyline just has this raw, a little crazy undertone that makes the whole show amazing!
DVBBS & Borgeous - Tsunami
-> this song is not really in any genre that I usually listen to, I'd classify it as jump- or hard-style to be honest, but I am not sure about it. Anyway, I heard this song during the "Nature One" festival in 2013 and just found out its name a couple of days ago, and am now really stoked that I know it, so it needed to be shared... Enjoy!
Hobbie Stuart - Still Here (Gemini Remix)
-> I don't know 'Hobbie Stuart', or the original song for that matter, but this remix is jaw-dropping, awesome, and all in all, once again, musical excellence and genius infused into an amazing mix that manages to very heavy and very melodically beautiful at the same time, just great!!
Warron Zevon - My shit's fucked up
-> Another song taken from aforementioned series, "Californication", which essentially sums up the feeling I get every time I start recovering from a long drinking, smoking, and drug binge... "My shit's fucked up"... Great song, pretty chill actually, pretty deep here and there too, so all in all an awesome piece of music!
Keizer - Wacht
-> well, I don't speak Dutch, but from the few words I do think to understand I would say that this a representing track, and Keizer is most definitely a fucking beast when it comes to rapping... Great beat, great rap, great artist, 'nuff said!
Sinik - Une époque formidable
-> This is such a great, deeply reflecting track about Sinik's past and background, him growing up and so forth. He is all in all a rather famous rapper in France, and I have been listening to him since 2006, so I really connect a lot of memories to this track, and to him in general. Enjoy!
Guns'n'Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
-> Amazing song, amazing group, amazing voice, amazing guitar, amazing everything, I have literally zero complaints about this song, except that it's too short maybe. Great, great track I have also listened to a lot in my past, making it somewhat special to me as well... Enjoy!
So, in a happy and positive mood for once, I'll say goodbye to all of you who actually take the time to read this! :)
P.S.: NOT A SINGLE VOTE has gone in yet concerning the layout... Which is really not cool, it takes like two fucking seconds, please spare them to help me make this blog as interesting as possible! Thank you!!