I have many vices

but apparently I did not feel that they were enough yet, so I decided to add a bad gambling habit to them. I had actually planned to get into gambling since I started to report on the World Cup games a few months ago but have not had the financial liquidity necessary for it up until now. And well, I've already lost most of the money I had put down, but am now very enticed to put some more dough down and try to win back what has been lost so far. Which is a bad idea, trust me I know that it is, but so are alcohol, drugs, and borderline insanity, but those have always worked for me (not wanting to plagiarize Hunter S. Thompson here), meaning that gambling will probably work for me as well. Or not, and I'll never post here again because I'll lose all my assets and end up living on the streets. But up to that point, I will continue to gamble on a variety of sporting events I know nothing about. Which is in all likelihood not the best way to go, but quite exciting nevertheless. Or just because of that?

I mean, I have not embraced risk and danger all too much in my life, or at least I thought that I didn't. But come to think of it, I might be a lot more prone to taking huge risks and putting myself in dangerous situations than I had originally thought. It's not a huge surprise though due to the fact that I have been close to dying both physically and mentally purely out of neglect for the possible consequences of my doing, meaning that I had taken as large a risk as I possibly could, and that it almost backfired on me. Which did not stop me from doing the same things over and over again though, each time with the same possibility of imminent death. Not that I take pride in having done so. But this behavior definitely shows that there is a risk-taking aspect to my personality that might be a lot stronger than I had gauged it to be so far. 
And if that's good or bad, I don't know. All I do know is that it seems to exist at times. There are other moments however; moments in which I do not take the slightest of risk and remain as stale as I imagine soups in prison to be. But those are usually passing rather quickly, and almost exclusively appear in situations that I did not get in of my own accord. So, am I a risk-taker by definition? Or am I just blind to risk in situations that would actually call for both eyes being wide open? Am I reckless or just stupid? I believe the line one has to cross to turn from the one to the other to be extremely thin, borderline anorexic actually. Recklessness can have its roots in stupidity, and stupid behavior can be induced by reckless thinking. The both are interdependent, and yet they stem from different worlds, hell, from different universes altogether. Which makes this whole thing a lot more complicated. Because even if the risks of an action underway are just too obvious for one to be oblivious about their existence, and one still decides to partake in said action, one is either a complete moron or a daredevil. Leaving us at the same impasse we were at two sentences ago. Hm. This is certainly a dilemma of large proportions. I mean, I could go the easy way and just state that all people exhibiting a daredevil attitude are in reality just idiots seemingly looking to accelerate their inescapable demise by acting foolishly. But that would just be what the government does; throwing people in a pot with others that may seem similar but are in reality equipped with a myriad of differences to separate them from each other. And I am not going to stoop to that level, pandering to the lowest common denominator found in society. No, I am much rather going to shed some light on this issue. The thing that separates those taking risks for a thrill and those taking risks out of stupid negligence is essentially that those taking the risk for a thrill are trying to accelerate towards the notorious edge I have already discussed at length in order to reach a state of understanding; they're taking these risks as means to an end, as stepping stones paving the way to recognition, to an epiphany of sorts. They're looking to reach a new mental platform of being, and can only do so by pushing the risks associated with their actions to an absolute maximum. Whereas those taking risks out of stupidity and/or negligence will quickly back down once they've seen the hazards accompanying their doing; they're not looking to "see the light" when the prospect becomes reality, they're not wanting to use the danger as a mean to reach an understanding and revelation-inducing end. No, they have simply overstepped their boundaries by accident, and are paralyzed with fear like they've been struck by lighting, just looking for a way back to their normal, peril-free, dull, and relentlessly stagnating way of life. Which is fine, really. No-one should be forced to partake in any possibly dangerous action, and nobody should be allowed to force others out of their insanely boring comfort zone. Then again, no human being should be taking drugs by the definition of most governments, and we all know damn well that that is just wrong, ludicrous, and has lost all touch with real life. 
So, to all of you daredevils: go and grab one of your dullest acquaintances and throw them in a situation they cannot possibly handle in order to get these boring fuckers to finally live their lives in a way that is worthy of being called that. 

Ha. Those that know me personally will have snickered at the above sentence, simply because I am really not the type of guy to go out and do things that others would file under 'daredevil'. But I am living life to the fullest in another way, I am deliberately entering perilous situations in order to dash towards the illustrious edge, so, no, I would not consider myself as being dull, stagnating, fester, languish, or stall in any way. Maybe in the way that the sporting-fitness kind of people would consider as being idle. But I have at best slim interest for their definitions, seeing as my quest for an interesting and fulfilled life usually largely differs from theirs. This does not imply that I want to demean aforementioned group's definition though. It just means that mine is largely different, and that theirs cannot possibly apply to me just as much as mine cannot possibly apply to them. Which is not a bad thing by any means, it just shows the great diversity in the approaches different people have when it comes to the question of how to define yourself and your goals in life. It is pernicious to think your ideas and ideologies are right for everyone, and trying to insidiously push these on others is a heinous act of what essentially boils down to fascism. So, like I always say, "live and let live". That is as simple but at the same time as efficient as it gets. And I know that I have said that like a million times already, but it does not cease to be the best advice I could possibly give to anyone reading these words and pondering their meaning. 
I mean, there are obviously situations that call for an active involvement rather than passive disregard, and in those cases, such as the government trying to take your freedoms or some asshole trying to rob you, it is better not to stick to the electric principle of taking the path of least resistance, and rather go ahead and kick some ass and take some names. But generally speaking, as long as your freedom isn't at stake, it's much better to just let people go about their business and not interfere because you don't perceive it as being "right" or "morally/socially acceptable". 
So, the essence of this paragraph is essentially the anarchic principle of being able to take any and all freedoms for oneself as long as they do not obstruct the freedom of others, which, if people were smart enough to adhere to it, would make for a much better world than the war-ridden one we inhabit today.

All in all, I think that I'm touching on an all-too-familiar issue here once again: the idiocy of fellow man, and the disastrous consequences resulting from it. We humans are the only animal capable of actual thought, we're the only animal capable of judging its own actions, and yet we're completely unable to behave in a way that would honor such a high place in the world, unable to cope with the responsibility that arises from such great intellect, and completely unfit to rule over our own lives, much less over the faith of the entire fucking planet. And yet here we are, trying to do just that. And failing miserably, as always. Failure seems to be the only real constant in human history anyway. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to demean all the great achievements of mankind, we have come a long-ass way since the first ape decided it was time to walk on two legs instead of four and communicate using language instead of signs, but there has always been somewhat of a downward trend in all of our development, hasn't there? We had the industrialization, which was in itself good, but brought on inhumane treatment of workers, horrid environmental damages, and made some very fucking evil people very fucking rich. Then along came the globalization, which in itself had, and still has many positive aspects, but also created the means necessary for an even greater exploitation of the third world, a merging of standards only helpful to corporations, and an unprecedented opportunity for foreign secret services to spy on us. But well, globalization is of course not the sole responsible for these developments, and neither is the industrialization for that matter. It's us humans that cannot cope with great discoveries, it's us as a species that are unable to use these developments for the betterment of society and the environment. So, I reiterate: failure really is the only constant in human development so far. And that is sad, because there is such grand potential in all of mankind's achievements. But well, money and greed will always prevail, and we can therefore shove that potential up our asses, because we are not the ones that have the financial means necessary to make the corporate giants topple and finally use their might for good. "Good" - such a loosely defined term, but I think it is quite clear what I mean by it in this particular case.

Anyway. I am getting tired of this topic. It seems like no matter how many times I insist on it, no matter how many times I write about it, the same shit completely opposing my words just keeps on going down. So, I'll just hope that at least some of you manage to incorporate some of the things mentioned in this post in your own lives. Or at least think about some of the things and make up your own mind, you know the deal. So -- in this light -- I'll leave you be with some good music:

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dani California 
->Blah blah blah. You can rip on me all you want for posting a Red Hot Chili Peppers song on here, but fact of the matter is that this song is pretty damn cool and catchy, plus it somehow reminds me of a time not all too long ago when I did not think about things as much and everything was much simpler. And even if it didn't remind me of anything - this song is awesome, the guitar riff has an awesome ring to it, the vocals are really nicely put on there, alternating between spoken and sung, and all in all this is just a great classic tune, so... Enjoy!

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication
-> I might be pushing my luck by putting yet another RHCP tune here, but since the topic is fitting, and I just heard this track on the radio, I decided to put it on here as well. And well, the title is the same as that of my favorite non-animated TV-show, so I guess it needed to appear here at some point anyway, so why not today? Plus the song in itself is quite nice, I really enjoy the melancholic guitar that starts with the intro and is present throughout the entire song, and the lyrics are quite cool as well, so... Enjoy!

Dr. Dre feat. Ice Cube - Natural Born Killaz
-> "You've got a problem? I've a got a problem solver, and his name is revolver" Awesome lyrics, legendary MCs, grimy-ass beat, and an overall great song! And well, pretty sick lyrics, but that's the way things went down back in the day I guess, and they're mostly an expression of rage anyway. Plus, Death Row used to be the most dangerous record label, so they had a certain reputation to uphold. And regardless of all that, this tune is fucking awesome and an absolute classic, so... Enjoy!

Eminem - Mosh
-> Here is an anti-Bush song, and as you can imagine, I thoroughly despise George W. Bush (and Dick Cheney for that matter), his politics, and everything he stands for, meaning that I immensely enjoy this tune. And well, Hunter S. Thompson, who was very well known for really hating Richard Nixon, said the following during an interview in 2004: "[...] if Nixon was running against George Bush. I’d vote for Nixon. Yeah... I never thought I’d say that." Which just goes to show how bad of a president George actually was. But anyway, this is a great political song that bashes Bush quite nicely, so... Enjoy!

Dimitri Vegas, Moguai & Like Mike - Mammoth (Original Mix) 
-> I know that this song has by now reached what one could consider a mainstream-status, but that does not diminish its quality in anyway. I first heard this great track in 2012 or 13 at a friend's place, and had somewhat of an eargasm when the awesome melodic part combined with the heavy bass hit my eardrums for the first time in my life. Needless to say, I've enjoyed this song ever since, and I think that it is one of the very best tunes modern EDM has to offer, so... Enjoy!

Flux Pavilion - The Scientist 
-> You know I love the UKF Dubstep Channel, you know that I love Flux Pavilion, and you know I love emphasizing my love for the both of them, so here goes another classic Flux Pavilion tune that I should have put on here long ago but for some reason failed to do so. Anyway, this song is just fucking awesome, great vocals, beautiful melody, and an outer-worldly drop that leaves your ears bleeding but your mind happy, so... Enjoy!

Well. This post turned out to be of a little more than average length, sifting through a couple of topics, but remaining a lot more organized than the previous mess I decided to publish. From gambling to risk-taking to freedom to mankind's overall failure. A nice, logically adjacent chain of themes I think. Or at least hope. Anyway. I hope that you've enjoyed this post, and want to apologize for missing the "deadline" (the quotes are there because I have shifted said date from being every other day to every week to every ten days, meaning that there is no real regularity and therefore also no real deadline to adhere to) by a couple of days once again. The main reason for it this time is that I am enjoying my holidays at the North Sea and only have my cellphone's mobile network to rely on, which sucks. But well, I hope you're not all too disappointed and have enjoyed the above ramblings. 


Peace!

"Better watch out, 'cause I'm the assassin"

are the words that Bruce Dickinson is screaming at me through my 6-inch sub-woofer and 2-inch speakers as I am writing this post. 
And I just deleted about 450 words that stood here simply because it got to a point of being barely understandable to myself the next morning. Which is why I decided to not continue or god forbid publish that god-awful mess I had created and start anew. Normally I would just dump that kind of rambling on you and expect you to make sense of it, but I was so displeased with the way I had portrayed things in those now lost sentences that I could not bring myself to actually go on working on them. Hence the deletion. Anyway, it is not like I am keeping some grand literary creation from you, no, I am just protecting you from really really bad and disorganized writing with weird to no real points being made. But seeing as these words will never reappear again, there is no real point in talking about them here either, so I will now go on with this post.

I am unsure if I'll be able to find a good topic today though, my last post was not that long ago and my inspiration seems to have been drained by it a little to be honest. Plus I've actually started to work on a "trial novel" so to say, which is proving to be quite time consuming and taking a lot of my energy and creativity. But I am not going to forget you guys, and so I decided to sit down today and not work on aforementioned novel for a while but write this entry and vent a little about something that still needs figuring out. 
I have to say though that when I started writing this blog I thought I had a lot more to say and could go on easily filling pages for ever and ever, but it is actually getting harder to find themes to wrap my words around than it used to be. Then again I may just not be in the mood right now or something like that, but I doubt it to be honest, as I've outlined in an earlier post it is usually a bad mood that induces the best kinds of creative outputs. And I am not in a bad mood. But maybe a bad mood to write? Is there such a thing? I don't know where one could find that out and am too lazy to skim through the masses of articles and essays debating the existence of a writers block, I've read too many of those in the past half year. Yet I am still not able to form my own opinion on the subject and can not for the life of me figure out how to figure it out and it's driving me a little crazy. Just a little though. It's not like a dominant nuisance within my existence, just a little speck that keeps nudging me every now and then when I am wondering why I sometimes feel able and sometimes unable to produce nicely formulated sentences that have more meaning than mere mundane statements barely resembling coherent lines of thought. I am quite puzzled by this to say the least, and am at some point at some time going to get to the bottom of it, but in all likelihood not today and not anytime soon, but as soon as I do I will publish the results here and revolutionize writing forever. Or maybe I'll just forget about it. 
Either way, this is definitely something that has somewhat peaked my interest these past weeks but I have never had so little inspiration that I actually included it in a post. Well, today I have apparently reached a new low, and so the paragraph above here came into being. What can I say, shit tends to happen. The self-loathing is not as strong in me as it may appear to be in these sentences though, I am just setting ridiculously high standards and expectations for myself that I have so far not be able to reach in any form or shape. Which is good, because it means that I am always striving for further excellence and have not exhausted my full potential quite yet. Perhaps I never will, but perhaps I won't even have to, but who knows. Nobody knows... Nobody knows but me... Anyone remember that song? Is that even a song? But whatever, back to topic. Well that actually kind of says it all doesn't it, nobody knows and no-one could possibly know and that's the great adventure blah blah blah. I mean come on. We all know what would follow if I went down that road, essentially non-sense about life being a journey with an unknown end and life being the mean to get there that should be exploited to its fullest extent because the journey that is the mean is in itself the end and so on and so forth. And that is not the least bit satisfying to read or write because it doesn't hold any existential answers with substantial potential to enrich you, your life, or your way of thinking. 

So I'm not touching that topic with a ten-foot pole today. Instead I'll focus on something different alltogether. What I intend to center my focus on this time is the issue of mental stability, normality, and the so-called abnormality that is often treated with dangerously lethal and mind-altering pharmaceutical poison. I am not saying that people with psychoses or similar problems should not be receiving medication, I am not saying that these diseases are not completely real. All that I am saying is that there is a line that is rather thin between simply not being the way one is expected to be and actually being insane in the membrane. I mean, this is especially an issue when you're using psychoactive substances as part of your life-style, the assumption is automatically that you must be deranged and your brain destroyed by drugs. And that you need more drugs to "get better" again. Isn't that bullshit? And isn't it equally nonsensical that once you get busted with such substances, you get the choice of getting locked up in jail with rapists and murderers, or getting locked up in therapy with criminally insane rapists and murderers? That we have sunk so fucking low is just mind-boggling to me. I have touched on the problems created by prohibition before, I know, but this aspect of it occurred to me again today and did so with such intensity that I really felt compelled to write about it. So, let's get back to it then, shall we? Let us take an example to illustrate: A friend of mine is a completely healthy and normal young adult, he has finished his education and was about to start working at a company making money and so on, his life was developing quite nicely. Along came the state and its repressive executive organs, and found a couple of magic truffles (yeah, truffles, like the ones that grow in any forest in Central Europe) and a few grams of grass (yeah, the wild-growing weed). And now my friend is in a therapy where he doesn't belong with criminally insane assholes, with the therapists trying to force-feed him insanely hard medication that I myself have tried. Trying this shit made me realize how fucked up the entire system is, it was harder than most illegal drugs I have tried so far, and completely debased my inner make-up, changing my entire personality for a couple of days. No illegal narcotic has ever done anything even similarly gruesome to my psyche. So why the fuck are we still relying on this system?

Well, the explanation to this is much more logical than I would like to admit. There is a percentage of people in these therapies who are there because their excessive drug abuse has cause their psychological make-up to derail and in these cases aforementioned "medicine" is actually use- and helpful. The problem here is that those there because of penalties of the prohibition are thrown into the same pot with those described before, which causes normal people who've enjoyed psychoactive substances and simply got caught to be turned into dulled zombies because of the drugs they were giving, turning their brains to mush much more than illegal substances ever could. And that is what's wrong with the entire concept, and would be easily avoidable, like so many things, by the legalization of such substances. Then these institutions would be filled with people actually needing help and perhaps even pills in order to get in touch with their inner-self and achieve a feeling of mental stability once again.
But of course not, because drugs are bad, and doing drugs would be bad, and you wouldn't want to be bad by doing drugs, 'cause that would be bad, mkay? Gotta love South Park. But I am once again getting off track.
The vital point I want to get across though is that the prohibition of psychoactive recreation-enhancers is once again proving to be more harmful to those partaking in such pastimes than the substances themselves, making the entire assumption that such a system would protect the citizens and minimize possible harm being inflicted to them fallacious. I do realize that I have made this point before, but I feel the need to emphasize it constantly because most people seem to still be stuck in the 30s-thinking that Weed=Heroin=LSD, which in 2014 is just a sign of incredible backwardness and inability to adapt and think outside the box, and it is just sad to see just how many people, and especially people in power still think this way. I mean we're seeing such powerful movements, such intelligent and well-respected people speaking up for either marijuana or other drugs and their legalization, and still the corrupted and greedy governments controlled, among others, by powerful pharmaceutical industries are still unwilling to give in and finally listen to the anguished cries of wrongfully criminalized citizens. "Controlled" - by that I don't mean an evil illuminati-like secret puppet-master pulling the strings of all governments, but rather that most political parties' campaigns and other funding is 'sponsored' by various large industrial and financial players, meaning that they have a very high amount of influence on the politicians' doing within the party, and therefore also on the world-leaders seeing as no party without substantial 'sponsoring' ever won any elections, or very rarely to say the least. And that is the problem in any so-called modern-day 'democracy'. The word in itself is composed of the ancient Greek "demos", which means as much as "common people", and "kratos", which essentially translate to "rule". So it can be translated as "the ruling of the common people", meaning that the citizens themselves should be empowered and the representative government should enforce their wants and protect them from harm. But the will of the common folk is too often, almost exclusively overlooked and undermined by those in power, and the will of the small percentage of industrial corporate giants with enough spare cash is too often enforced and adapted. 
Which once again leads us to the root of all evil: Money. It's impossible to opt out of the monetary system and maintain a standard of living worthy of a dignified human being, but it's at the same time the exact same system that corrupts and destroys our integrity from inside, slowly turning us into something worse than any junkie, always chasing for the next dollar and striving for the highest possible accumulation of wealth imaginable, until we realize the emptiness and shallow instability in our life, but at that point it's too late. And well, to quote Snoop Lion: "Money makes a man, and that's a crime/ If we all were rich we'd spent more time/". Not to rehash his words, but this sentence holds a lot of truth. If we didn't have the constant pressure of maintaining a certain amount of valuable assets in our life, we would spend much more time focusing on learning, loving, laughing, and simply living. We could get out of the hassle of worrying about paying bills and simply indulge in life to the fullest extent, take time to cherish those we love. But that is unfortunately an utopian fantasy for obvious and unfortunately very logical reasons. Unless we'd go back to simple trading, like a watch for three hams or something like that. But then again, we would need to define which item is worth which other item(s), and for that we'd need some sort of centralized institution to regulate the exchange rates, and we'd back to an abuse-able and possibly corrupt-able system, which is what we were trying to avoid in the first place. It's a vicious cycle, isn't it? But well, if we can't change it we can at least use it for our own purposes and defy its laws by working within to be able to live outside. And I know that I have said the exact same thing before, but I could not think of a better way to formulate it, and since I am reopening a topic anyway I can also plagiarize my own works. And fuck quoting, my words are mine to use and re-use as often as it pleases me. 

But it is getting somewhat late, and I will in all likelihood go to the first lectures I have in the morning. Plus I know for sure that I will have a hard time falling asleep today, so I am really considering at least lying down pretty soon in order to trick my body into sleep-mode. Or I'll just lay awake for a few hours before I fall into a somewhat psychotic half-sleep that leaves me drifting in- and out of actual dreams, which is not even remotely relaxing, but a dreadful and in itself tiring experience that usually leaves me with close to no power and motivation the next day, and is something I should definitely avoid. And seeing as I have prepared enough smoke-able material I am really hoping to be fine this time, and retain the ability of functioning properly the next day so that I can attend all lectures. 
Although I really have to say that attending an English lesson in an all English study seems kind of silly to me, I mean, proper command of the English language should be a requirement for international studies whose sole teaching language is in fact English. But this is not the first time I have been annoyed by English classes, I have always had a certain aversion towards them, mainly due to the fact that I could not be bothered with doing anything but still maintained an almost perfect grade which really really pissed my teachers off. Because they couldn't let me fail but couldn't get me to participate the way they wanted to either. It was quite fun for me actually in retrospect, but I remember that during the times themselves I was thoroughly pissed by this and just wanted English lessons to disappear from my life forever. I mean, I obviously enjoyed creative or essay writing, but there were almost always boundaries or themes to adhere to which really took the wind out of my sails. But I usually managed to skirt around these 'rules' and create something well-written but subliminally offensive to the teacher. Still, I am usually more than annoyed by to me nonsensical English lessons that always seem to take place in whatever level of education I happen to be. And that is fucking displeasing. I do not want to demean all English lessons though, e.g. the correct format for specific types of letters and similar things are topics simply necessary to be learned and do not come naturally. But things like grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation come easily to me, I have never ever had to learn any grammar rules or anything like that. I just feel the way the words need to be, and it's this way for all languages I speak. I mean of course for a completely new language I need to have a look at basic sentences and the likes in order to get a feeling for it, i.e. for Chinese. But once I got that feeling for the prose of the language and the way it needs to be used I am able to formulate proper sentences without learning any further rules.
It's always been like this. For mathematics and things based on it the exact opposite applies though. I mean I get the logic behind the exercises, but I can for the life of me not figure out formulas, can not calculate in my head, and am completely useless for all tasks that require complex computations. Well, it's always Ying&Yang, up and down, and a balance of power as the British would put it, so if there are a number of things that one excels at there is an equal number of things one, put rakishly, quite simply sucks at. And that's life, many great philosophers have already said and formulated it, but I'll stick to the words of Mick Jagger: "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need", which quite simply sums up the way life goes. What you want is not always what you'll get, sometimes you'll get the exact opposite, but you'll usually get by and get what you need to, well, get by.

And this pretty much concludes this post, which once again turned out to be quite long. I am getting more and more fond of writing for an eternity and just letting my thoughts go, because I am no longer in real need of thinking about proper ways to formulate delicately as I did in the beginning, I now have an approximate idea of what I can write and how, I have gotten a certain feeling (in italic because I have to emphasize that it's a subjective emotion exclusively felt by me at least in this moment and in my near surroundings. I do realize I can not possibly be the only person thinking that, but for the sake of this entry I am) about my writings on here and am now at relative ease when composing a post, meaning that my mind is no longer hung up on finding nice metaphors and similes or words or formulations, but rather focused on creating content on a certain level, leading to hopefully even more enjoyable texts for you. But then again I have never published anything that I did not think of as being of adequately high quality, so the difference may not be as noticeable whilst reading, but whilst writing it most definitely is. Anyway, I am getting lost in ramblings once again, and will now (finally) leave you be with some music to enjoy:

Harry Chapin - Cat's In The Cradle
-> Wow, I can not believe I didn't feature this classic on here yet! And to all of you naive souls with not enough musical knowledge out there: No, this is not a Cat Stevens song. This is a beautiful and deep track by Harry Chapin, and somewhat relates to the tangent about money and its time-consumption somewhere above, seeing as with the dough out of the picture the whole story would have been quite different. Anyway, great, meaningful and simply dazzling tune... Enjoy!

Black Label Society - Fire It Up
-> Another great song that has not quite stood the test of time like the one featured above yet, but still is a great tune. Gotta love Zakk Wylde and the guys, Black Label Society had always had a certain outlaw kind of flair, and that coupled with their awesome Heavy Metal music just makes them irresistible to me, meaning that I had to share this song with you, so... Enjoy!

Snoop Lion - No Guns Allowed (feat. Cori B. & Drake)
-> First off let me start by saying that I thoroughly despise Drake as a rapper and probably also as a person although I can't say that with certainty. I mean, yeah his flow is somewhat 'special' and yeah he is on time unlike many may claim in this song, but he just doesn't deliver the emotions and rhythmic variations that this track so clearly offers, and that's just bad to say the least. But secondly, I want to say how fucking great this song is. I don't give a fuck about questions of Snoop's authenticity in this case, I don't give a fuck about it being mainstream and way too well-known. No, this is one powerful piece of beautifully sad music coupled with a deep message that America should definitely start wrapping its ugly head around. But leaving all preaching aside, this song is really chill and amazingly melodious, so... Enjoy!

Ice Cube - Today Was A Good Day
-> I did not feature this song yet? Did I just miss that whilst skimming through my blog right now or did I actually not put this song on here yet? Shame on me! This song is so old-school and awesome, just describes the rough realities of a poverty-stricken part of the population but in an essentially funny or at least ironic way. By portraying mundane or simply 'normal' things for the middle- and upper-class citizens as being the requirements for the day being good where Ice Cube is from, he shows the social inequalities and lack of perspective and law there. And the song itself is really really chill, I simply love sparking up to it, so do the same and... Enjoy!

2Pac feat. Snoop Dogg - 2 Of Amerikaz Most Wanted 
-> Such a classic and epic collaboration of two of the biggest MCs that Hip Hop of the early nineties had to offer, it needed featuring here and I am again disappointed with myself for not having put it up here earlier! Starting with blatant disrespect to Biggie, and continuing to one of the most awesome, funky, and simply cool tracks. Really a gem I stumbled upon, should have been here already, but well it is now, so... Enjoy!

Flux Pavilion - Dropkick
-> This is apparently a rip from a set that Flux and N'Type played for the Rinse.FM radio station. And as you know I adore Flux Pavilion's music anyway, so I had to put this on here as soon as I found it, this drop, this nicely melodic yet fucking heavy bass-sound prevalent throughout most parts of this rather short, but notwithstanding extremely awesome song is just too great to be put into mere words, so... Enjoy!

As said before, this post turned out to be almost as long as the last one, which was not intended but nice to see nevertheless. I was actually planning to release it while it was still March, but well, April happened all of a sudden and now it's the first post for it, which is not necessarily a bad thing but was not my intention meaning that I am kind of grumpy right now. And by the way, quick word about April's Fools: Fucking stop it. 98% of these pranks are not even remotely funny, most of them extremely annoying and nerve-rattling, and some of them even downright dangerous, so please for fuck's sake leave it be. Just one year of peaceful silence and no nuisances on the first of April would be nice. That's all I'm asking for. 

Peace!

For the first time

since the creation of this blog, I have actually been inspired by my readers for a post. Not by the poll of course, which only yielded one single fucking vote (that I personally saw being cast by the way), but by the amount of page views. Exactly, simply by the number of people having accessed this page today. The last few days have been quiet, with mostly less than 10 or even close to zero people viewing the blog, and all of a sudden this number rose to almost thirty today, the day before Valentines Day.
I mean, seriously? Who would be desperate enough to actually want to hear my ramblings a day before that? That's like asking for a nice push towards suicidal thoughts for all of the mentally unstable and clinically depressed people that I imagine actually reading this.
But, as unfortunate at it may be to the fans of my cynical streak, I actually don't have any dark thoughts about it looming in my mind this year, because I actually have someone to spend this day with for the first time ever.
And shit, I am excited about it! It feels like being wrapped into a nice worn blanket woven from caring wool, and then being served a nice cup of hot chocolate covered in loving cream, all whilst snuggling up with an amazing person and watching ones favorite movie! It's exhilarating! It just feels good to wake up in the morning and know that you're not lonely anymore.

Don't get me wrong though, I am still thoroughly despised by the commercial exploitation of the greatest human feeling for cheap profits and phony rituals that completely differ from the actual concept of love and relationships, dragging you into a cliched, disney-like fairytale that always ends in a rude awakening due to the fact that it has lost all touch with real life. Of course, true love is an outer-worldly feeling that is damn near impossible to describe in any way, and being in love with someone as amazing as I am makes your life seem like somewhat of a BS fairytale, but by no means should it be degraded to those cheap fucking bullshit lies that are offered each and every Valentines Day again, pandering to the lowest denominator available to the gullible wanna-be romeos of modern day wanna-be romances.
Am I not a cynical asshole at times? Happily in a relationship and still bitching about the negative sides of Valentines Day. But what can I say, these things tend to piss me off, and I tend to vent about stuff here, so yeah.
And isn't it kind of disgusting how companies target exactly the kind of people who are prone to deception on any given the day of the year, and are of course even more so when it comes to emotional decisions? And isn't it even more disgusting that e-dating services specifically target those poor lonely souls out there still looking for a better half? These poor saps are being taken on a ride in the days surrounding the holiday of love, and that is just not fucking cool.
I mean usually I would say that if you're actually susceptible to those kind of blatant corporate lies it's your own damn fault. But when it comes to these kind of extreme emotions it's just too much, that kind of shit can drive people crazy, trust me, I know from personal experience the adverse effects emotions can have on ones life, and toying with that stuff should be off-limits.
But as always, money will prevail, and the market is enormous, because love is universal. Everybody loves, even those that say they don't, even those that themselves think they don't. It's somehow deeply rooted into our being, and I mean beyond the natural instinct to reproduce. Something inside our minds, programmed into our mental makeup, compels us to search for a better half, a 'soul-mate' if you will, someone who completes our faults and makes us strive to elevate the status quo to the illustrious "Cloud 9", to the highest of heights, making our spirits soar, and illuminating mind and soul alike.

I am getting somewhat lost in thought here. I am not even sure if I had a central point I wanted to address, or if I had one and simply forgot it while writing this entry.
But I guess one point I wanted to make is that I am kind of flattered that the views for my page suddenly peaked before a day like Valentines Day, which is a day on which one could definitely expect me to be ranting about, as I sort of did already.
And this already brings me to my second point, which is that despite my unkind words about the corporate bullshit that happens on Valentines Day, I am still actually looking forward to it this year, because, as mentioned earlier, I have a special someone to share it with for the first time in my life, and because of that I can not remain as cynically negative about the whole thing as I would have been before. And that is actually good! I even feel healthier because I have been feeling happier, which again proves the superiority of the mind over the body it inhabits.

Happiness is a funny thing, especially when it stems from love, and especially on this day. Bear in mind my last post as I say this though, I am looking through rose-tainted glasses at the moment, but I actually don't feel like taking them off, which is amazing, and really makes me gain a sense of child-like wonder and anticipation about the future once again. But, as I said, bear in mind my last post as you read these words. The world hasn't changed, the same shit is going on, it's just my perception of it that has changed - because of love, and for the better - but still, just my perception was altered. This alteration is in itself simply amazing though, feels like a warm tingling sensation slowly moving from my stomach throughout my entire body, surrounding me in a warm glowing field of positive sensations that are too surreal to be put into words and induce a trance of happiness and loving emotions culminating into three little words that need to be said twice by two in order to mean anything at all.

As you all have noticed by now I am in a really good mood, and tomorrow will for once not be a wallowing day of red wine and generic sleeping pills and painkillers, and that is really awesomely amazing!

In this light, here's some music...:

Snoop Dogg - It's you I adore
->  Well, since it's Valentines Day I also have to acknowledge my earliest love - Miss Mary Jane, and there is no song that describes the feeling like this beautiful piece of music by Snoop Dogg... Enjoy! :)

Meat Loaf - I would do anything for love
-> First off, this is an epically amazing track filled with beautiful emotions, and Meat Loaf's voice is fucking awesome and the music itself is also breathtaking, all in all a marvelous song! But what I have always wondered - what the hell is "that"? What the fuck is he talking about? If anyone knows feel free to contact me in any way you see fit, I need to know this!

Adventure Club - Need Your Heart (feat. Kai)
-> An unbelievably beautiful and heavy song by Adventure Club, the epic and soft vocals slowly rising up to form a sound wave that crashes in your ears like on a steep shore of a tropical islands, leaving you exhausted, but happy... Enjoy! :)

Twisted Sister - We're not gonna take it
-> This is such a classic, it had to be put on here at some point, and this is just as good a time as any. The video is rib-crushingly funny, the music and the message is awesome, and albeit their questionable look, Twisted Sister made awesome music that is still as relevant today as it was back then!

Busta Rhymes - Gimme Some More
-> Another hilarious video. Busta Rhymes is one sick mofo, but that is what makes him such a genius, and his flow has always been out of this world, making him the an extremely complete MC, although I have to say that I wish he would still be doing this style of music instead of his new rapping as fast as possible style, which is is still insane don't get me wrong, but I preferred it when he was still humorous and creative like in this song... Enjoy!

Dj Fresh - Gold Dust (Flux Pavilion Remix)
-> You all know damn well how much I adore Flux's music, and I just heard this song a couple of times in a playlist I was listening to while typing this post, and I am pretty sure I have not put it anywhere on this blog yet, so I figured it's about time I did... Great song by a great artist! Enjoy! :)

Btw, the date changed while I was writing this, so somewhere around the beginning of the post I am still referring to today being the day before Valentines Day, and somewhere around the middle I am talking about it being today, which happened because I took a whole lot longer to finish typing this entry than I had expected. But well, what don't I do for you guys? :D

Anyway, happy valentines day to all of those who want to hear it this year, and to all of those who don't just remember my previous post.

Peace!

2014, eh?

In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.                                                                                                                                                                              - Hunter S. Thompson

Well, in a month and a few days it will be nine years since the genius Hunter S. Thompson shot himself.

Most of you will, if at all, only have heard of him due to the movie "Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas", which is nothing to be ashamed of, but I personally was so fascinated by this character's depiction in said cinematic masterpiece that I had to start digging into his real-life counterpart, Hunter S. Thompson. And I was amazed by my findings to say the least. This guy was the living epitome of all I have ever wanted - a crazy, uncontrolled lifestyle only held together by an underlying genius expressed in his works that will remain for eternity.

And he left the way all the good ones leave us - Cobain-style if you will. But the thing that sets Thompson aside is that he did not finally work up the guts to end his life because he was wallowing in misery and depression like Kurt, but rather because he had serious health problems that would have impaired him in his abilities to function on his own, which is something he wanted to avoid. I believe he said that he always wanted to retain the ability to kill himself if he wanted to, but you'd have to google that if you want a reliable source confirming it.

Point being that he valued his free will more than anything, even more than life itself, ready to die when it was compromised.

And god damn it, this guy is fucking inspiring. He speaks the language of liberty, formulates the fabric of freedom and shows the significance of self-determination in a world dominated by pseudo-freedom and oppression, all while remaining genuinely entertaining and not getting all preachy on his audience.

I am seriously starting to think about writing something "real" in the future, maybe even pursue a career in writing of sorts, not that I have any aspiration of every making any money doing so, but I'd consider it a win if I could get my thoughts on real paper, as opposed to contributing to the deterioration of the English language and proper communication by blogging, as my favorite fictional author Hank Moody would say. But I am loosing my train of thought here and getting off-topic, if there ever was a topic to begin with.

Hm, seeing as I have already dipped into the whole freedom and self-determination thing once again, I might as well use that as a starting point, which also relates to the Hunter S. Thompson introduction, simply due to the fact that he had quite similar views as myself on these topics from what I have read. 
Beware that I am right now only really getting into the guy, I have just ordered the "Gonzo Papers" on Amazon and am currently waiting to discover more of his works, so I am by no means an expert in this field and all information here is subject to errors in research, ergo, if you want to find out more details about him, do some research yourself and don't rely on my ramblings here.
Hunter believed, as I do, that people looking to expand their consciousness using psychoactive substances should not criminalized by any governmental entity, but a controlled and regulated market should be made accessible to adults, because "[l]ook at Prohibition: all it did was make a lot of criminals rich. Should be legalized for a matter of sanity." (Thompson, 1997)

Of course, he is also a man that was referred to as a "walking chemical laboratory" so this statement may not seem surprising or convincing to some, but if you have ever read any of his more political works you would quickly come to the conclusion that this man was not a mere drug-addict that happened to have a way with words, no, this man was pure genius infused into a drug-crazed journalist that did not feel like writing journalistic texts the way everyone else did but rather founded a new style of journalistic writing.
And how could a person judge or even just talk about something without having experienced it? How can people that have merely read about possible specters of the effects that something may have on certain individuals decide that said thing should not be made available to the public by their governments, but rather by criminals? Yes I know, I am essentially just paraphrasing a Food For Thought from earlier, but this topic apparently needs to be revisited again and again in order to slowly make people understand that other people have the right to decide what they put in their bodies for themselves. It's not like they're doing anything else as I type. The people that have never touched drugs now would also not have touched them if they were legal and vice versa, meaning the legal status of a substance does not affect demand or supply, making prohibition a fallacious way of reasoning - forcing abstinence on people has never worked, does not work, and is not ever going to work. Period.

And the sooner the people in power realize this simple fact and allow us to free our minds the better - for the development of humanity away from oppression and chains to liberation and freedom - for psyche and body alike.

Hunter S. Thompson had realized this. And he was on the board of NORML in the earliest days of the movement, and dedicated many hours and pages to drugs, their use and legalization alike. He showed us that albeit taking many many drugs and not showing any limitations, he managed to be one of the greatest authors/journalists I have ever had the pleasure of reading and retained his independence even in death, which is actually quite beautiful if you ask me.

I see in the man an iconic figure, for his generation and many to come, including mine. We need people like H.S. Thompson to show us that the status quo is not the dull, never-ending, relentless pursuit of the bourgeois life, but rather an exciting, empowering and simply weird journey that will only end when the body can no longer support the mind and collapses in a final, norm-defying grin that echoes in history.

The very idea of going out like that gives me superhuman chills running up my spine like Olympic sprinters defying the concept of speed and instantly arriving at the finish line that is the release of various molecular substances in my brain, making the mere thought a sensational experience in itself. Don't get me wrong, I have never seriously contemplated suicide, but if I had the choice I would rather burn out than fade away, as aforementioned musical legend Kurt Cobain once rightly said.

Anyway, I think what I am getting at is that how you think and how you live or even act is not what you'll judged by in the long run - your words however, are. They will live on even after the last person to remember you being a complete asshole to those around you has died, they will carry on your legacy, and they will define your worth to future generations. If H.S. Thompson and K. Cobain had not written, in one case books and articles and in the other one lyrics, they would, if at all, only have been remembered for being drug-users that ended up killing themselves, yet another fantastic fairytale for the prohibitionists to exploit, but seeing as both of them did write, we can today remember them as the geniuses they were, a piece of their minds is and always will be within those that have been touched by their words, and that is true immortality.
These words will also have an effect on the future itself, seeing as words formulate ideas, ideas create thoughts, thoughts lead to actions, and actions ultimately bring change, maybe just for one person, maybe for all of mankind, but the effect is present, making above-mentioned immortality even more graspable due to the fact that one can change lives even in death.

So, if you "buy the ticket, take the ride" my readers, and live your life to its fullest extent, whether it is within societal norms or not, be yourself and indulge whenever possible, restraint is for the dead.

....and to conclude this entry, no more words are needed, just music:

Flux Pavilion feat. Major Lazer - Jah No Partial
-> two great artists came together and made a great song, 'nuff said!

Tupac feat. Jah Cure - All By Myself
-> I didn't know this song until I heard it in a Coffeeshop one day tbh, it is a great song with a great message that definitely needs to be here!

You think this will link to a song...
...NOPE! Just Chuck Testa :D I have to admit that it's pretty stupid, but rib-crushingly funny non the less, so if you don't know, now you know, biatch!

Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger
-> whether you first heard it in the Rocky Movies, referenced by some cartoon, or elsewhere - everybody has heard this song, and everybody enjoys it, I really wonder why I didn't put it here earlier (if I did please let me know, I don't cross-check these things)...

Dead Prez - Hip Hop
-> 'nuff said.

The Black Eyed Peas - Where Is The Love?
-> I know that this song is not necessarily what you'd expect from me, but it's a beautiful song from a time when music was about more than just partying and sounding 'cool', a time when music was used to show social inequalities, bring injustices to a large audience and stick it to the man...

...and in the spirit of sticking it to the the man , and of course in the spirit of Hunter S. Thompson, I wish all of my readers and everyone who wants to hear it a great year 2014 and lots of personal fulfillment!

Peace!

P.S.: I might update more regularly from now on, and then again I might not, we'll see :D

Wow...

... I have actually completely forgotten to post for almost an entire month, I mean, I know I said I wouldn't update regularly but god damn, an entire fucking month? And the worst part is that I am the only one to even have noticed, meaning that this blog is obviously not getting the attention I think it should, but, whatever, this has become more of a way for me to vent and kill time anyway, so... yeah...

Be that as it may, I was browsing though the "UKF Dubstep" YouTube channel and whilst getting my fucking brain blown out of my skull due to the sheer overload of awesomeness I realized that I had gone back to posting these songs on my Facebook page, which is something I did not want to do anymore seeing as I have this blog to do so; this realization made me navigate away from Facebook without posting the song I was just listening to and I started typing this entry without having chosen a topic or even having the slightest clue about the content I want to cover today, meaning that this is going to be extremely random, but I guess I might manage to get some sort of structured thought process in here after all.

So, it is the season of joy and understanding, Christmas... While I generally do not have a problem with holidays, and this one is no exception, I have to say that I am getting sick and tired of this fucking argument about whether one should say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" in public settings that keeps coming around every single god damn year. I mean, seriously people, what is your fucking problem?
(Before I continue, a quick FYI: I tend to say "Happy Holidays" when it comes to strangers, because you can never know if they're not Jewish or one of those hyper-sensitive atheists that are like "Merry Christmas??? Are you trying to push your beliefs on me you ignorant cunt??", but that's just like, my opinion, man...)
Why is it always such a big fucking deal? I mean, yeah, church and state are separated, so some people take that as an argument as to why public organizations and such should not be allowed to use "Merry Christmas" for promotional purposes or similar public activities, but by that logic, why the fuck should we be allowed to have holidays around Christmas time then? Wouldn't New Years suffice? But New Years is somewhat religious too, ain't it? I mean we base the way we count our years on the alleged birth of someone we can not be even sure existed and no one complains about that, so why complain about a harmless, friendly "Merry Christmas"?! I believe that you see what I am getting at, this argument can also be turned the other way round, saying that religion is such a big part of our culture so banning the phrase "Merry Christmas" from public settings isn't right either, blah blah fucking blah.... In the end what it all comes down to is people trying to hinder other people from saying what they want, and I do believe that in most democratic constitutions or similar pieces of paper something called, uhm, the "freedom of speech" is at least mentioned somewhere, making this whole argument nonsense, seeing as you have to allow people to say whatever the fuck they want (as long as it doesn't incite harm to society and does not impair other peoples rights imho), including "Merry Christmas", which is just really NOT A BIG FUCKING DEAL GOD DAMN IT!

I am having fun with this topic as you can see, Christmas always gets me nicely pumped up to rant about various things, which is not only due to the fact that I am a cynical asshole with no aspiration to see the good things, but also due to those fucking Christmas decorations, and markets, and music, and carolers, and all of these little things that make the holidays so enjoyable to some... To me they're more like the offspring of Satan (no this is not a typo), two filthy prostitutes and some sort of demonic hell-spawn wearing a red fucking costume! I have to admit. when the whole thing starts I am in rather good spirits, I even catch myself whistling along to some stupid Christmas song sometimes, but as soon as the second day of this madness is upon us I have already completely lost all spirits and am just dragging myself through the hellishly bright, annoyingly happy streets filled with people that seem to want to infect me with their totally uncalled for happiness, carolers that want to sing the same fucking tunes over and over again every single year, slowly lulling mankind into a buying frenzy that it only awakes from sometime in January to then realize that money is tight now, because the decorations and shit that were already at home weren't enough, no, new stuff had to be bought as soon as the first fucking snowflake fell to the ground at the same time as all Christmas ornaments were suddenly transported to our realm from hell. Yes, I love holidays, and, yes, I like spending a nice quiet evening sitting around the Christmas tree with my family, but I could decapitate, revive, rape, blow up and then stab every single human being walking around the streets at -10 degrees (Celsius) with a moronic smile on their god damn faces holding three shopping bags full of, well, expensive garbage whilst singing some fucking generic Christmas tune like "Last Christmas" or fucking "Jingle Bells"!! Here is the official rule that people need to get drilled through their skulls with a fucking jackhammer:

All generic Christmas songs can be sung only ONCE every year or Santa will not deliver presents but start shooting shit up!

So, after having now successfully shown all of you the annoying side of Christmas, let's get real for a second here:
This is a great time of the year that you should use to cherish with those close to you, not only receive but also give, and maybe even take a second to go do a good deed, buy a homeless guy a sandwich and a blanket or something, I mean, we can all afford iPads and all kinds of expensive BS for ourselves and our families, so why not do a little something to people that can not even afford a place to stay and have to spend the season of joy and understanding outside, alone, in the cold and harsh winter nights. Christmas is not about buying presents and singing annoying-ass songs, it is the one fucking time in the year where we're supposed to act selfless and not selfish, and many seem to have forgotten that, which is really sad and really sickens me!

So, in that spirit, I wish all of my readers happy holidays and/or a merry Christmas, I hope that you all have some special people in your lives to enjoy it with!

Peace :)

....and here is the music:

Flux Pavilion - Hold Me Close
-> as you guys should know by now, I fucking love Flux Pavilion, and this is another amazing piece of music that will destroy your speakers and leave you staring at a wall with a blank stare for an hour or so before your brain is able to process what just happened... Enjoy!

Flux Pavilion - Freeway
-> Flux again, but this time a really really chill song, I could listen to for hours with my eyes closed just contemplating the thought of being alive... Gives me goosebumps every time... Just awesome!!

Flux Pavilion feat. Steve Aoki - Steve French
-> And one more Flux song, this time with Steve Aoki, of whom I am not a huge fan, but this song is pretty great and the video is so trippy, I freaking love it, looks to me as if they just dropped a little acid, drew what they saw or thought, and then made a video to it that will blow your mind if watched high ;)

Sonis & Stratagem - Jinglestep
-> Ok, I now I have made my opinion on generic Christmas tunes very clear above, but here is the exception: sick fucking dubstep remixes of said songs!! And although this one takes a while to get in and gets kind of weird in the middle, I still think it's pretty cool and the drops are just insane...

Ice Cube - Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It
-> I have no clue why I didn't put that one here earlier... Ice Cube is one of the best out there, and this song is fucking awesome... 'nuff said!

Yellowman - We WIsh You A Reggae Christmas
-> I know that this is not a particularly well thought-out reggae remix of the song, but it's a god damn reggae remix, so it just had to be in here, and if you don't like it, well, there is nothing you can do about it being here, so just enjoy it :)

Billy Talent - Burn The Evidence
-> no relation to Christmas, but I really like that song, it has got its emotional moments, it has got its angry moments, and the lead singers voice is just fucking amazing...

So, this concludes this entry, I hope there was some music that you liked in today's selection of songs :)

Oh and P.S.: The vote on whether or not I should change what I'm doing ended with two people being for an increased amount of wisdom and two being for keeping up what I've been doing so far, so no big changes will be made by me, big thanks and shout out to the four people who took the time to vote, which only takes a few second, but apparently that's more time than most people want to spend, making polls like this a thing of the past...