About Me

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I am a dedicated and ambitious aspiring freelance journalist, blogger, and writer. My main asset is my international background - I was born in Germany, then moved to France, and proceeded to grow up in China - and the cultural open-mindedness inherent to such a life story. I specialize in opinion pieces, but am also well-versed in travel/event reporting, and writing general news stories. I blog regularly on my two pages, and have contributed to multiple online publications, including Gonzo Today, a web page dedicated to Hunter S. Thompson's "gonzo" journalism and his legacy. If you have any writing needs, I am the right person to talk to! I will be able to match the tone and style you desire, will work overtime to make you happy, and will deliver high quality content. You can find me on Facebook and LinkedIn as "Mark Linnhoefer", and on Twitter as "@markalinnhoefer". For work proposals please feel free to use the contact form on either of my blogs!

Wednesday, December 25, 2013


... I have actually completely forgotten to post for almost an entire month, I mean, I know I said I wouldn't update regularly but god damn, an entire fucking month? And the worst part is that I am the only one to even have noticed, meaning that this blog is obviously not getting the attention I think it should, but, whatever, this has become more of a way for me to vent and kill time anyway, so... yeah...

Be that as it may, I was browsing though the "UKF Dubstep" YouTube channel and whilst getting my fucking brain blown out of my skull due to the sheer overload of awesomeness I realized that I had gone back to posting these songs on my Facebook page, which is something I did not want to do anymore seeing as I have this blog to do so; this realization made me navigate away from Facebook without posting the song I was just listening to and I started typing this entry without having chosen a topic or even having the slightest clue about the content I want to cover today, meaning that this is going to be extremely random, but I guess I might manage to get some sort of structured thought process in here after all.

So, it is the season of joy and understanding, Christmas... While I generally do not have a problem with holidays, and this one is no exception, I have to say that I am getting sick and tired of this fucking argument about whether one should say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" in public settings that keeps coming around every single god damn year. I mean, seriously people, what is your fucking problem?
(Before I continue, a quick FYI: I tend to say "Happy Holidays" when it comes to strangers, because you can never know if they're not Jewish or one of those hyper-sensitive atheists that are like "Merry Christmas??? Are you trying to push your beliefs on me you ignorant cunt??", but that's just like, my opinion, man...)
Why is it always such a big fucking deal? I mean, yeah, church and state are separated, so some people take that as an argument as to why public organizations and such should not be allowed to use "Merry Christmas" for promotional purposes or similar public activities, but by that logic, why the fuck should we be allowed to have holidays around Christmas time then? Wouldn't New Years suffice? But New Years is somewhat religious too, ain't it? I mean we base the way we count our years on the alleged birth of someone we can not be even sure existed and no one complains about that, so why complain about a harmless, friendly "Merry Christmas"?! I believe that you see what I am getting at, this argument can also be turned the other way round, saying that religion is such a big part of our culture so banning the phrase "Merry Christmas" from public settings isn't right either, blah blah fucking blah.... In the end what it all comes down to is people trying to hinder other people from saying what they want, and I do believe that in most democratic constitutions or similar pieces of paper something called, uhm, the "freedom of speech" is at least mentioned somewhere, making this whole argument nonsense, seeing as you have to allow people to say whatever the fuck they want (as long as it doesn't incite harm to society and does not impair other peoples rights imho), including "Merry Christmas", which is just really NOT A BIG FUCKING DEAL GOD DAMN IT!

I am having fun with this topic as you can see, Christmas always gets me nicely pumped up to rant about various things, which is not only due to the fact that I am a cynical asshole with no aspiration to see the good things, but also due to those fucking Christmas decorations, and markets, and music, and carolers, and all of these little things that make the holidays so enjoyable to some... To me they're more like the offspring of Satan (no this is not a typo), two filthy prostitutes and some sort of demonic hell-spawn wearing a red fucking costume! I have to admit. when the whole thing starts I am in rather good spirits, I even catch myself whistling along to some stupid Christmas song sometimes, but as soon as the second day of this madness is upon us I have already completely lost all spirits and am just dragging myself through the hellishly bright, annoyingly happy streets filled with people that seem to want to infect me with their totally uncalled for happiness, carolers that want to sing the same fucking tunes over and over again every single year, slowly lulling mankind into a buying frenzy that it only awakes from sometime in January to then realize that money is tight now, because the decorations and shit that were already at home weren't enough, no, new stuff had to be bought as soon as the first fucking snowflake fell to the ground at the same time as all Christmas ornaments were suddenly transported to our realm from hell. Yes, I love holidays, and, yes, I like spending a nice quiet evening sitting around the Christmas tree with my family, but I could decapitate, revive, rape, blow up and then stab every single human being walking around the streets at -10 degrees (Celsius) with a moronic smile on their god damn faces holding three shopping bags full of, well, expensive garbage whilst singing some fucking generic Christmas tune like "Last Christmas" or fucking "Jingle Bells"!! Here is the official rule that people need to get drilled through their skulls with a fucking jackhammer:
All generic Christmas songs can be sung only ONCE every year or Santa will not deliver presents but start shooting shit up!

So, after having now successfully shown all of you the annoying side of Christmas, let's get real for a second here:
This is a great time of the year that you should use to cherish with those close to you, not only receive but also give, and maybe even take a second to go do a good deed, buy a homeless guy a sandwich and a blanket or something, I mean, we can all afford iPads and all kinds of expensive BS for ourselves and our families, so why not do a little something to people that can not even afford a place to stay and have to spend the season of joy and understanding outside, alone, in the cold and harsh winter nights. Christmas is not about buying presents and singing annoying-ass songs, it is the one fucking time in the year where we're supposed to act selfless and not selfish, and many seem to have forgotten that, which is really sad and really sickens me!

So, in that spirit, I wish all of my readers happy holidays and/or a merry Christmas, I hope that you all have some special people in your lives to enjoy it with!

Peace :)

....and here is the music:

Flux Pavilion - Hold Me Close
-> as you guys should know by now, I fucking love Flux Pavilion, and this is another amazing piece of music that will destroy your speakers and leave you staring at a wall with a blank stare for an hour or so before your brain is able to process what just happened... Enjoy!

Flux Pavilion - Freeway
-> Flux again, but this time a really really chill song, I could listen to for hours with my eyes closed just contemplating the thought of being alive... Gives me goosebumps every time... Just awesome!!

Flux Pavilion feat. Steve Aoki - Steve French
-> And one more Flux song, this time with Steve Aoki, of whom I am not a huge fan, but this song is pretty great and the video is so trippy, I freaking love it, looks to me as if they just dropped a little acid, drew what they saw or thought, and then made a video to it that will blow your mind if watched high ;)

Sonis & Stratagem - Jinglestep
-> Ok, I now I have made my opinion on generic Christmas tunes very clear above, but here is the exception: sick fucking dubstep remixes of said songs!! And although this one takes a while to get in and gets kind of weird in the middle, I still think it's pretty cool and the drops are just insane...

Ice Cube - Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It
-> I have no clue why I didn't put that one here earlier... Ice Cube is one of the best out there, and this song is fucking awesome... 'nuff said!

Yellowman - We WIsh You A Reggae Christmas
-> I know that this is not a particularly well thought-out reggae remix of the song, but it's a god damn reggae remix, so it just had to be in here, and if you don't like it, well, there is nothing you can do about it being here, so just enjoy it :)

Billy Talent - Burn The Evidence
-> no relation to Christmas, but I really like that song, it has got its emotional moments, it has got its angry moments, and the lead singers voice is just fucking amazing...

So, this concludes this entry, I hope there was some music that you liked in today's selection of songs :)

Oh and P.S.: The vote on whether or not I should change what I'm doing ended with two people being for an increased amount of wisdom and two being for keeping up what I've been doing so far, so no big changes will be made by me, big thanks and shout out to the four people who took the time to vote, which only takes a few second, but apparently that's more time than most people want to spend, making polls like this a thing of the past...

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I have a thick skin, so go ahead if you feel like criticizing, but if you keep going on and on about details of carnal relations you claim to have had with my mother your comment will be removed.
I guess what I'm saying is that you can express your opinion, just try to do so in a constructive or at least moderately respectful manner, otherwise the comment section is just going to go to shit and I'll be forced to close it, seeing as I will definitely not be moderating it if unwanted/spam/bullshit comments keep coming...
If you can not behave, the possibility of commenting here will disappear, that's as simple as it is.