A day like any other

has been a rare occurrence these past weeks. I have been jolted out of my transfixed routine, and I like it. My move to China is set in stone now, and so there's preparations to make, lists to work through, people to inform, and money to somehow get, which is proving to be an all in all very tiring, but also quite fulfilling experience. I have also started to write an actual journal with a pen in a notebook, so that, if the internet ever breaks down completely, I'll have at least some of my thoughts and ideas written down and not lost for eternity. I am getting more and more into the idea of just realizing myself and my writing, and am getting more and more positive, as well as negative, feedback on my scrambled ramblings, which is really giving me the edge I need to push on; on the one hand I want to show the bastards still doubting me, and on the other hand I want to deliver the kind of quality those believing in me expect from me, so I'm generally striving to be the best goddamned writer I can be, which should be helpful on my quest to become a self-supporting journalist, writer, blogger, author, or someone of that ilk. 

But I've said that so many times by now, it's getting old, isn't it? You all know by now that I have some sort of manic, borderline psychotic obsession for writing, and that I intend to use that obsession to sustain myself financially throughout the rest of my life. I like to think that if I set my mind to something, I can also achieve it, and whilst I'm not deluding myself with dreams of money and fame, I do believe that I have what it takes to get a shot at the life of a self-providing freelancing writer, preferably journalist, and I have every intention of setting all hell in motion to get and make that shot. I know the life and work as a writer to be a very hateful one, filled with impossible deadlines, hard months, and borderline starvation at times; but I also know that there is no real alternative for me out there: I can't go back now that I've developed a taste for blood. I'm hungry now, I've been unleashed, and I won't restrain myself before I haven't gotten my name out there and my voice heard. Even if I don't make a dime, even if I end up on the streets, in jail, or in a loony bin, I'll keep on writing, and though I know I'm being a bit melodramatic right now, I really do mean the essence of what I'm saying:

“As things stand now, I am going to be a writer. I'm not sure that I'm going to be a good one or even a self-supporting one, but until the dark thumb of fate presses me to the dust and says 'you are nothing', I will be a writer.”  - HST

Once again, the good Doctor has formulated the point I was trying to make a lot better than I could ever hope to. The above quote just expresses my exact sentiments: I don't actually know that my writing is any good, and I have no way of knowing if I'll ever make enough money with it to support myself, but I do know that I'm going to be a writer, whatever that means. Ha. It certainly feels good to finally being able to refer to myself as a journalist and writer, or at least to be able to say that I'm going to try and be one, which is now that I'm quitting my studies to chase that dream, actually the very least I can say about myself. And though I realize that there are many obstacles yet to overcome on the long path that lies ahead of me, I do feel a certain sense of victory lingering in the air, a certain sense of overcoming the odds and finally getting off-shore and battling the stormy winds of life out at sea with no lifebuoy on board, just relying on my own strength and knowledge. I am in the throes of an all-out writing frenzy that will probably keep me going until fate reduces my existence to nothingness, and maybe even for a little while after that. The problem is that I need to keep vigil over my manic streak that loves to manifest itself in what is admittedly my best work, but that is also quite damaging to other areas of my life, like human relations, meeting deadlines, and simply getting up in the morning, which all turn into insurmountable obstacles once I am back in that borderline psychotic mood that hits me every once in a while. Hm. Remember my previous entry? I should probably be very leery of writing about any 'abnormalities' in my mental health, for I fear that some three-letter-agency henchmen might come bursting through my door in order to get me pumped full of pharmaceutical poison and thrown in some nice padded cell in some asylum for the mentally ill. But I'm reiterating my last post. I was actually getting at the way that knowing I'll become some sort of writer has altered my perspective on a lot of things; I am doing much more to advertise myself as a writer, blogger, and journalist, and am taking every opportunity I see to get my name out there, which is slowly starting to yield some possibilities of writing work, which I think is pretty awesome! I have to say that back in school I would never have dreamed of actually trying to make a living with my writing; I had been told my writing is good, but to me it was always just an easy way to get good grades with little effort. Until I started to write my blog and get actual feedback by people unknown to me, that is. When I realized that the words I produce are apparently of actual value to some, I  also started realizing just how much putting words onto paper satisfies my inner-most needs. I was always a man of words come to think of it: back in grade school I knew how to convince teachers better than most others did, and even started working on a "novel"; in high school I was rapping - still do by the way - and actually part of the Model United Nations Debate Club; and now.... well now I am quitting my studies to become a journalist and writer. Many of you will have wondered by now why I choose not to write in my native language, German. Well, I can't really answer that question to be honest; I have always felt some inexplicable connection to the English language, and am much more at ease when formulating sentences in English, simply because the syntax and grammar comes easily to me. Now of course I am also working as a journalist for a German event-planning organization, so I naturally also write articles in German, but they don't work as well, if you catch my drift. English just has so many more synonyms and stylistic devices to offer than German. Hm. That's not entirely true either, there is some grand German writing, like Kafka, Nietzsche, and Goethe, that will prove the opposite, but I am for some reason much more proficient in the use of English vocabulary and rhetorical devices. It's weird, really. I think my focus on the English language in literature and film - coupled with the six years I spent living in China alongside American and British students - is to 'blame' here. I'm personally appalled by the miserable standard of English in German schools, and also by the fact that most consider their school-level English to be adequate in a professional context; don't get me wrong, I don't want to bash anyone whose English isn't perfect, not everyone is good at learning languages after all, but I do have a problem with people simply not recognizing that their skills aren't really up to par and in the worst case even getting all up in your face when you call them out on a mistake. It's not like I'm one of those condescending fucks that treat your every false utterance like a huge crime to their personal ethics, I'm usually very quiet and polite when telling someone about their errors, but even then there are some people who apparently just cannot handle being criticized at all and throw a real fit whenever I approach an erroneous aspect of their English speaking. Those are the same people that pounce on my every mistake to try and ridicule me, mind you. Which is obviously not working, for I'm well aware that I'm far from perfect; I know that I do have a certain knowledge of the English language that probably exceeds that of other non-native speakers not building their career on writing in English, but I also know that there are many errors I am still prone to, and so I am thankful for everyone pointing these errors out to me, for only by seeing one's mistakes learning becomes possible. Anyway. What I was getting is is that some people simply cannot admit their wrongdoings and are so entrenched in their egomania that they will never be able to actually learn anything; because you don't learn by supposedly doing things right and being praised all the time, but rather by fucking up and getting yelled at. You won't realize what not to do unless you've tried doing it, which is why I cannot understand how people can react so badly to criticism; it's understandable that you get agitated if a review of your work is actually insulting, but if someone calmly addresses some issues they feel compromise the quality of what you're doing, you should definitely listen to that someone. You don't necessarily have to implement what you're being told, but it is always advantageous to get a third or fourth opinion on whatever it is you happen to be doing in order to see either what you're already doing properly, or what you need to change in the way you're going about doing things. It just gives you some perspective on your work, and perspective allows you to look at your work from a meta-level, evaluating it more objectively. 
There's obviously always going to be a natural bias in the way you think about your own creations. As soon as you get feedback from others it pertains to gaining objectivity when evaluating your work though, and can so ultimately lead to at least partially overcoming that bias. Said bias is not necessarily positive though, mind you; I for one am almost always sure that what I have published is utter bullshit once it's online, but after a couple of days my regular sources for objective feedback usually tell me that they have enjoyed (at least most of) what I wrote, and that's the point at which I slowly begin to see that the piece of writing in question doesn't show an utter lack of quality content after all. The point being that my natural bias is a negative one, unlike most peoples' apparently, at least those of the people I have encountered so far: most of them tend to think that what they produce - be it writing, music, art, whatever - is top-notch and will revolutionize the whole world, and can only begin to admit that their production is maybe not as good as they had thought after they have been told so by multiple people. Both of these schools of thought hold their obvious pitfalls, but I personally would say that being negatively biased is better for your creative process to some extent; if you think you're doing worse than you actually are doing, you'll be more prone to striving to fully exhaust your potential capabilities, at least I know that I am, although there are some people that are so negatively biased that they either don't show their work to anyone or don't accept any positive remarks, at which point the bias is obviously an obstacle that needs to be overcome. With a positive bias however, you're more likely to produce lesser quality work, because you think that every shit you take is composed of solid gold anyways, which might make your mind resort to egomania at some point if your work isn't all that good and you're constantly being told so, because your disturbed ego won't be able to handle the criticism of something it considers to be perfect, and at that point you've become a mentally damaged asshole. This does not imply that you cannot have a positive bias towards your creations without being a dick about it, but it is certainly a pitfall of said bias to be aware of. Anyhow. This tangent about objectivity and biases suddenly came out of nowhere, didn't it? I was actually talking about the reasoning behind me using English instead of German for my writing needs; and well, there's the few reasons mentioned above, but the truth remains that I cannot really put my finger on my actual motivation for doing so. I just enjoy English. A lot. I solely watch American and British TV shows, I almost exclusively read American and British books, and am generally more versed in the English language than in any of the other languages I speak, and that is probably the main reason I chose English as my writing language: I can express what I want to the way I want to, using the words that do not only sound but also feel right in the context, and I am able to elicit the kind of associations I want to in my readers' minds, or at least I hope that I am. All I do know is that for my purposes and to the best of my knowledge I am using the right words at the right time, and am much more successful at doing so in English than for example in my native language, German, as weird as that may be to some. 

But I have come across an unspeakably tasteless atrocity that needs to be brought to everyone's attention: the shooting at Chapel Hill, N.C.. Some guy shot three young Muslims, allegedly because of a "parking dispute", according to local police. Whatever his reasons may have been, I do not care to be honest. It is saddening and sobering that everyone is so hellbent on connecting religion and xenophobia to this case, when all that really counts is the family and friends of these poor souls that were shot, and of course that the judicial entities bring the guy who did it to justice. But what I see are things like a Facebook group dedicated to "saving Craig Stephen Hicks", and one post in that group defends this guy with the disgusting argument that what he did was something that "most infidels would love to do!" and a comment on that saying "I hope that this is just the beginning and [...] people will follow his example"... Well. I seriously hope that that is some sort of very dark satire. Because I could not emphasize how fucked up that would be otherwise. Here's a guy that shot 3 people, and just because these people happened to be Muslim, there are now some racist fucks defending his actions. If a Muslim had happened to shoot three Christians, these same people would be condemning these very actions. Fucking hell, this world has bred some messed up personalities. And naturally the media coverage for this tragedy has been rather meager; it's just not as interesting or scandalous to see Muslims being shot by White people, apparently, as sickening as that realization is. And it does not fit into the media created image of the evil Islam either, so of course it descended into the footnotes of the newscast instead of being the headline it deserves to be. Isn't it gruesome to see just how political the medias' decision whether to cover a story in-depth or not has become? It's pathetic, really.

I can't get more into this topic now though, maybe I'll do a separate post about it or something. Just do your own research, you've got my thoughts about the issue already. I'm getting really tired, it's 4 AM already, and I am not even remotely done with all the writing work I still have to do; there's a translation still to be completed, there's this blog post, and there are five interviews in my notebook waiting to be compiled into full articles. And most, if not all of it won't be done prior to tomorrow evening, simply because my concentration is dwindling at an alarming rate right now, and so tonight I won't be able to actually select the songs that will appear below...

The Mamas & The Papas - California Dreaming

-> Great, classic tune. I love the guitar play, the lyrics, and the voices. It's just one of those timeless evergreens that you only come across a few times in your lifetime. A song that stays with you wherever you go, and well, it's just beautiful music, so... Enjoy!

Simon & Garfunkel - The Sound Of Silence

-> Wow. Goosebumps slowly creeping up my spine and slowly but surely encompassing my entire body. Blood rushing to my head, a little dizziness coming on, and then the realization of the inner beauty of the words that flow with the stream of music, hitting me with the might of a hammer but with the subtlety of a feather. "But my words, like silent raindrops fell and echoed in the wells of silence...". I can't stress enough how amazing this song is, so... Enjoy!

Knife Party - Give It Up

-> Awesome! This is some great, energetic Dubstep just the way I like it! Great, Reggae-like intro that slowly morphs into an eargasm-inducing build-up ultimately leading to a great drop that coerces your limps to start jerking around to the beat! At this point I would once again like to recommend the "MA Dubstep" YouTube channel, they feature some really amazing tracks on there from time to time, and are definitely a good source if you like that kind of music! Enjoy!

Music Predators - Adventure Time (Condukta Remix)

-> Well, MA Dubstep doesn't fail to amaze me! Epic remix of a great song! I love the build-up, the melodic parts, and the drops that keep getting a bit heavier and adding a little more crunch to the bass each time they come around, it's just an all in all great song in my opinion. And for those of you wondering, yes, I have just discovered this song because I was still browsing the MA Dubstep channel after posting the last tune. As I said, it's a great source for this kind of music, and this is a great example to prove just that, so... Enjoy!

Afu-Ra feat. Gentleman - Why Cry

-> Now this is what I call music! Afu-Ra, who is part of the Gang Starr Foundation, a great, underground rapper, together with the German reggae sensation Gentleman on a great, peaceful, anti-system track that has a great message and spreads awesomely positive vibes! This song is truly a legendary piece of art, so... Enjoy!

Jedi Mind Tricks ft. Young Zee & Pacewon - Design in Malice

-> "They're no longer Christian! They no longer follow Jesus! They follow the devil, one hundred percent!" Which is extremely true on a meta-level; those claiming to be extremely religious nowadays are those acting in complete opposition to the values most, if not all religions preach. Anyhow. This song is fucking awesome, and Jedi Mind Tricks are pretty great in my opinion. Vinnie Paz might overuse some topics and not be the very best Enjoy!

Let me start this paragraph by saying that I am really sorry about the delay in publishing, but, as I have explained in the first paragraphs of this entry, a lot of things are happening in my life, and I am doing a whole lot of writing work for a number of different people, which is really taken a toll on my creativity, and so, because I don't want to dump low quality writing on you either, I need a bit more time to finish the posts for this blog, find music, and make everything ready for publication. But I will keep doing my best to continue posting at least twice a month on here, and hopefully entertaining, educating, and providing an interesting read for you guys. I am really happy that this blog still has the 20-40 people reading it regularly, and I do wish to attract more readers in the future, so if you guys would be so kind as to inform your friends of this blog's existence, I'd be extremely happy! I might actually do some sort of contest in the not too far future, maybe a writing contest, or just a lottery kind of thing, and there will be a prize in form of a nice book or something like that! So, look out for that, I'll be announcing the details sometime soon!

Anyhow. I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed this rather belated entry, that it has taught you something, or at least caused you to rethink a few things, but you know the deal...


Peace!

2015 already?

The year 2014 really flew by, didn't it? It seems like I barely read the words "January 1st, 2014" on the screen of my mobile phone, and all of a sudden I am back in Amsterdam celebrating the New Year 2015. 

And what a fucked up year 2014 was. We saw the outright demise of all things most of us used to take for granted, except of course those willing to question what they saw, because they had known all along; the CIA torture report, the NSA scandal, the rise of the originally US-financed ISIS, Gaza, Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria. The fall of capitalism, the undermining of citizens' rights, excessive police brutality, fracking, free-trade agreements, increased fascism, Ebola, the revival of the Cold War, and of course the ever-lasting greed of mankind slowly propelling a small number of psychopaths into power whilst oppressing the rest of us.

Ha. It seems like the developments of this year literally force me to rehash the same old topics again and again. It's just getting worse. I have heard so many stupid utterances by unreasonably powerful people this year that I see no way things are going to stay the way they are for much longer. We're on a slippery slope, heading straight to hell. People are getting pissed off at a system that is slowly beginning to show its rotten true face, slowly beginning to show that it is no longer upholding the values it was created to protect, slowly beginning to show that it is made up of greed, corruption, and egomania. Which is nothing new to a lot of people, but unfortunately not enough people feel the need to bring on changes. Of course there are protests and riots all around the globe, but they're always dismissed by force or rhetoric and therefore those who used to be in power remain in power, and the damn population still votes for those retarded fucks. I simply don't get how a majority of the people can actually vote for those that have proven again and again to be unable to represent the voters' will. And I'm not even talking about Obama here, he has done a few very good and a few very bad things, but the actual issue is the whole Democrat/Republican debacle; neither of them have remotely done what they claim to stand for. It's time to find an alternative. Same thing for Germany; the Christian-Democratic-Union coupled with so-called German-Social-Democratic-Party (they somehow forgot to include the whole "social" and "democracy" part in their political policy) have been in power way too long, and the other parties don't really show any differences in their program either, so we're in somewhat of a rut. I can't emphasize the importance of change once again here. 
But that's of course not remotely everything; we also saw the rise of a couple of cruel terrorist organizations (Hamas and ISIS), that both used to be US-financed, but then went rogue and started attacking America with its own weapons. Which has happened quite a number of times, and could have taught the US government long ago that funding renegade movements usually does not yield the results that they hope for, but apparently they're too stubborn to learn from their mistakes.
Furthermore, we saw Russia being turned into the root of all evil once again by smart propaganda. I don't want to glorify Russia here, they have done some questionable up to downright horrific things in their time, and have some very conservative laws that do not really seem to fit in our time anymore, but they are not the main aggressor in the newest scenarios unfolding in Eastern Europe at the time. The NATO expansion to the East has been going on for a few decades now despite many critical voices from within the US government, and poking a sleeping bear with a stick will eventually get it to react. Russia reacted by "taking back" Crimea by means of a democratic referendum, which then sparked multiple movements also wanting to join Russia. And then the US just installed a new "democratic" government in Ukraine, of which some ministers are openly affiliated with major Nazi parties and networks! And now Europe is being entangled in some economic sanctioning scheme directed at the Russians, which is just stupid strategically. An alliance between Europe and Russia would be much more viable for both parties than a European-American partnership could ever hope to be. But thanks to Europe's head being so far up America's ass, we're facing a new Cold War that might actually turn hot this time, seeing as the propaganda is much more elaborate and the fronts are more hardened than ever.
Oh, and let's not forget the past few months which saw multiple unarmed African-Americans get shot, including a twelve year old child, by police men. For some cases the reports are obviously unclear, and I am not one to just generalize an entire group of people, but these cases show that racism is still much more present within the American everyday life than one would believe possible in the 21st century, and that it is an issue that still needs to be evaluated over and over. The war on drugs is partially responsible for this as well, mind you. There are less African-American than Caucasian drug users, yet there are more African-Americans rotting in jail cells for drug-related offenses. The profiling used by the DEA is clearly racist, and gives police an easy excuse to target ethnic minorities for strip searches, which obviously leads to those minorities feeling mistreated and unrepresented by those that should protect them and their rights, and that is something that cannot possibly stand! All citizens have to feel that all governmental organs are serving and protecting them, not just a few, otherwise the entire system of democracy and freedom doesn't mean shit.
And finally, we also saw the Ebola virus cripple West Africa, and we saw just how short the attention span of the media is when it comes to an actual crisis. Ebola was in the news for a couple of months at best, and all of a sudden it disappeared. Not from Africa mind you, the people there are still suffering, and there are still people there trying to help, and funds are hopefully still going there too, but the media's attention just switched to more violent and sensational stories and completely started ignoring the virus it made out to be the "biggest epidemic of modern time" just a few months ago. It's ridiculous, really. And then those damn tunes that are made to "help" the affected regions by donating part of the profits to charity. I mean I don't disagree with the essence of these actions, but if you want to help the people, then just donate to some medical NGOs instead of buying a fucking song which will also make some musicians, producers, and label bosses even richer. The whole thing is just perfect promotion: crappy singers are selling millions because they appear in such songs, which is why these tunes are in themselves corrupted and used by those people to gain more fame than they deserve, and that is just pathetic. So yes to helping those regions crippled by Ebola, and no to phony charity song projects. 

But of course there were not only bad things in 2014, there were quite a few personal highlights, and a few global things went quite well too. For example, the legal status of cannabis. Things improved quite drastically last year, and I am sure they will skyrocket in 2015: more and more states are thinking of legalization, Uruguay and Portugal have shown that liberal drug regulations are the right way to go, and there are more and more experts in all fields speaking up for the green plant. And in Germany there are now pro-legalization ads running in a couple of hundred cinemas all over the country, right before blockbusters like "The Hobbit". It has also been a good year in terms of the overall opinion on drug use generally. People that have been sworn enemies of the dreadful plague they believe psychoactive substances to be are now speaking for a more lenient approach, because many are starting to realize that prohibition is criminalizing the wrong people and allowing the actual criminals to make billions of dollars by being the only supplier for a gargantuan market. And those wrongly criminalized are branded as, well, criminals for life, and will always be looked upon with suspicion, and furthermore receive a 'training in crime' when imprisoned seeing as they are living in a confined space with all kinds of sick people, forced to join a gang in order to survive the time there. So a friendly pothead that got caught a few times too much goes to prison and comes out a hardened criminal with new knowledge on all kinds of illegal activities and not many perspective besides a gangster's life due to his criminal record, which he only got for being thrown in jail for burning some plants and inhaling the smoke. 
But I'm getting off topic. I told myself to do less rambling in these posts, and I'll try and stick to it a bit. I was talking about the general consensus on drugs slowly drifting towards a more lenient approach that focuses on education and emancipation of drug users rather than their wrongful criminalization. We're not there yet, not by a long shot, but we're seeing the first signs, the first underground tremors of an earthquake that will eventually spawn a tsunami of reforms regarding psychoactive substances, and it's nice to finally see some light at the end of the tunnel. And of course there's always the usual suspects trying to hinder that development, but it's somewhat like Domino; once the first piece falls, all others will follow. And I don't know how long it's going to take, but I'm sure it will happen, and I guarantee that the world will be a better place for it.

Anyway. There's also some personal highlights this year that I would like to share with you: I am more and more sure of needing to get the fuck away from studying, and rather focus on finally starting to build my own career, on my own terms, and not in some goddamn company where I work so that my boss can make tons of money, just so that I can retire when I'm seventy and "enjoy" my few years of lousy retirement. Hell no. I'm thinking of signing up for an online degree in freelance journalism, expanding my blogs, work freelance, do some small jobs to make ends meet, and get back to Asia, preferably Shanghai. I can't take the European way of life. People here have so little ambition, they cannot think outside the box; it's school, study, work, marry, retire, die, and I can simply not do that! And the mentality of the population, especially Germany, is so fucking apathetic, it's unbearable! Everything is stagnating, everybody is afraid to do their own thing and take risks, all everyone wants is diplomas, jobs, security and routine, and that just pisses me the fuck off!
I wasn't born to pay bills, I was not born to work for some rich ass-wipe! I want to travel, learn, write, see things, just fucking live, and not merely exist, and seeing the people at university and all round me just existing, essentially wasting their lives on some bullshit diplomas so they can work for other people, never leave their home country (except for the obligatory trip to Majorca every year), and at some point just slowly rot on their couches living off their lousy retirement funds, really makes me sick to my stomach and drains my energy up to a point where merely existing doesn't seem all that bad anymore. Shanghai is just so much different from that, most people there are there to make their dreams come true, to live out the American Dream in its original essence, to truly live and make an impact on the world. Shanghai is where things are happening, Asia generally is, and I don't see any reason to miss out on that. I love writing, I love Shanghai, I love Asia, and I don't see why I should not at least try to tailor my life to suit these passions in a way that I can still make ends meet and live comfortably. Which is why I am seriously contemplating making some money until the end of the academic year, then leaving the rotten village I am currently living in, quitting the studies I don't enjoy anyways, and going to Shanghai on a student visa to just do my thing and try to build an existence doing what I enjoy. And if that doesn't work I can always go back to studying seeing as I have the advantage of being young. I still have a good chunk of my life ahead of me, and I've always lived by the maxim of not ever regretting not having tried something I think could enjoy, so I just need to get off my ass and finally make things happen. No more working to get a diploma, no more learning things I have absolutely no interest in, just hard work to get to my goals, and then enjoying the fruits my labor will hopefully yield. 

But I don't want to bore you with details of my plans for the future any longer. It's getting late, and I have to get up early tomorrow, so I'll just add the music in the morning and post this thing by evening. Few is really left to say, except that I wish all of you reading this a happy New Year, and I really hope that whatever you're trying to do, whatever things it is you set to accomplish, that you succeed at all of it, and that things turn out for the best. Selah.

  
Dilated Peoples - You can't hide, you can't run

 -> This is pure old school right here! Such an epic tune with an awesome beat and the amazing artists of Dilated Peoples filling the track with great, meaningful rap, it's hard not to love it! Plus the beat is such a neck-breaking piece of awesomeness, that, coupled with aforementioned rap, you cannot not listen when this bad boy is played, so...Enjoy!


Marco Polo feat. Masta Ace - Nostalgia

 

-> And here is one more track that is old school as fuck! The legendary Masta Ace together with Marco Polo and a scratched-up sampled beat that underlines the funky awesomeness of this tune simply deliver their message straight to the heart of any real Hip Hop head! And the rhyming is mind-boggling too; "People in the audience, Masta Ace the name/ I write rhymes and insert them inside your vein/ They run through your bloodstream, get inside you brain/ 'Cause I first put my name up inside the train/"! If that's not fucking awesome, I don't know what is, so... Enjoy!

Jack Johnson - Good People  

-> This is just such a true song on so many levels. Firstly, the number of people I would deem 'good' is actually receding, at least here in Central Europe, and that song expresses just that. Secondly, the good people have mostly disappeared from TV and the news, simply because yellow journalism has become the norm, and the tragic stories of murderers and rapists attract a much larger, more easily sensationalized crowd than stories of the good neighbor who helped get kitty down the tree, and so they're the ones that make the newscast. Which is sad. We shouldn't constantly be shown the bad people, because that creates a negative sentiment in the population, and that just sucks. But anyway, this is a really cool song, so... Enjoy!

Warren Zevon - Keep me in your heart for a while

  

-> A beautiful Warren Zevon song right here. This is the kind of timeless music that would fit at any given occasion, ranging from birthday to funeral. Zevon just has that exceptional voice and is in essence a great musician, which makes his songs so amazing! I really, really enjoy this song, it has this strangely positive vibe to it that coupled with the melancholy in the lyrics makes for an interesting ride. Enjoy!

Spag Heddy - Pastanian Express

 

 -&> "THIS IS PASTA", orgasm-inducing drop, melody, more pasta. That's pretty much what this pure bit of Drumstep filth has to offer, and it does not disappoint in the least! This song has an awesome melodic part, coupled with such epic drops and funny, well-used vocals! I really enjoy Spag Heddy's work, and this one is no exception! Awesome tune, great artist! Enjoy!

KDrew - Bullseye 

 

-> Wow! Just wow. This is one of those fucking filthy tracks that you stumble across every few months or so at best! A great melody brought on by those wobbly high-pitched notes, entangled in a maze of amazing bass and drops, fused into four minutes and ten seconds of musical awesomeness and pure energy, propelling those listening to push on and go forward! I fucking love this kind of music, this is why I always include electronic music on here! Epic track, amazing artist... Enjoy!

So, this concludes today's entry, which turned out to be a whole of a lot longer than I had expected it to be, but seeing as I think I have touched on some interesting issues it should still be manageable as readers. Oh, and you have probably seen the changes that I have made to the blog: layout and theme has been altered entirely, and I have decided to embed the actual video for the selection of songs at the end of each post, which I think will be much easier on you guys' eyes, and make the whole page more attractive to potential readers. But the entries will remain the way they always have been, I have no reason to change the way I convey my message on here entirely!

Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed this post, liked today's musical selection, and that there are some things in this entry that you can take away for your own life, you know the deal...

Peace!

I was going to

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My potential

has always surpassed my ambition by far, and I cannot shake the feeling that that is something not entirely uncommon in "talented" people. Which I don't really consider myself as being actually. But there are many voices (not in my head by the way...) that have told me that what I produce here and elsewhere in writing can be considered a "potential for great talent" of sorts, but I'm not really feeling up to meeting such grand expectations to be honest. Plus whenever I get praised I tend to get somewhat lazy and start dropping in quality. So I'll just stick to being humble and work within my normal frame of mind. 

Anyway. This "great potential" thing has its roots back in school, where I was constantly told that I have such potential but am simply wasting it with my laziness and slacker-attitude. But well. I have come to terms with not fully using the alleged potential that people seem to think I have and rather stick to doing things the way I want. And so should everyone else. Those that even care that is. Most of you won't. Hell, I am not sure I do, so what's the point in all this? Well. The moments enticing you to subtly formulate sentences that might be of actual literary value and have a chance to live on long after your physical demise are those that seem the most mundane at first, so setting expectations for yourself way too high trying to meet some "potential" others tell you they see in you is bound to lead to failure. Or at least, if not even worse, to disappointment. So do not look at your favorite author or your mom's opinion to judge your work. Compared to a long-established author, your work will always seem inferior when you compare it yourself. Others will disagree, but that will make you so sure of your writing that you'll end up not even producing a coherent sentence. And your mom will always tell you what you've written is good. Others will disagree, and might be right to do so, but you'll be too blinded by the judgement of your mom or other relatives and therefore dismiss actually constructive feedback, leading once again to you producing bullshit. Now this is not only limited to writing of course, in any given situation where what you do is subject to the judgement of others the same rules apply. I am not saying that what others think of your work is not relevant mind you. I am just saying that you should not let what others think that you could do influence the things that you actually do. And as I write this I realize that I myself am subject to the very things described above, and that it is hard to actually set aside all praise and criticism ever received whilst typing. Which is not a bad thing per se, seeing as it helps me to avoid things that have been pointed out to me that I myself then saw needed changing. But it is a bad thing in the sense of me not questioning my every word as much anymore, seeing as that usually results in some typos and even erroneous use of words at times; but it is somewhat impossible to return to that state of healthy uncertainty simply because I keep receiving good feedback about my work. Which I enjoy of course. And I am not feeling any superior or anything like that either, but there is a certain emotion lingering somewhere in my subconsciousness compelling me to just type things without thinking of a theme or concept, and without re-reading my work to see if it makes sense. I just expect it to work, and somehow it usually does. Hell, every essay I've ever written in my entire life has been written that way, and I've had a decent grade for every single one of them. So, am I giving in to expectations set by others that believe in my potential by just expecting the things I write to be of quality and make sense? I don't know, maybe I am. But when I read my own entries weeks or even months after publishing them, I am usually quite contend with the result of my typing frenzies. And therefore I rely on this concept for as long as it yields the results I expect it to, namely entertaining blog posts for you guys. And well, articles, essays, my novel, essentially anything I type. Although I do do some research for news articles, so the concept does not apply entirely, but seeing as I still write them in a single sitting without laying out a structure beforehand, I guess it does apply to some extent.

But fuck all that. I am sitting here, watching "Meet The Spartans" - low-brow potty humor I know, but after a good 24 hours of being awake I am kind of enjoying it. My brain seems fried anyway, I am no longer thinking in circles but getting stuck in the corners of the squares my thinking is currently made up of. Thinking isn't smooth right now. It's an erratic, speed-frenzied jumping back and forth in the great void between my right and left ear. I may have overdone things a bit yesterday evening and night. I was just about to experience a circulatory breakdown due to the fact that I stupidly used my asthma-inhaler in my current condition.  
(By the way, I do not actually have asthma - I just fucked up my lungs by smoking cigarettes up to a degree which made my doctor tell me to at least take the goddamned spray so that I can make it to age 40. Or something like that, I was a bit fucked up when I last went there and my memories are a little hazy to be honest. The essence is that my lungs are bad and that I need to use an asthma-spray in order to alleviate the weight of the cancerous black tar pressing down on my mistreated, wheezing pulmonary alveoli.) 
My entire vision got blurry and was centered to a tunnel-like vortex before I finally managed to sit down and let my body rest for a while. I am now fairly confident that I can stand up with ease again actually.  And I just did. Not with as much ease as I had expected, but in my current state of being that does not come as a surprise to me. So, in the marginal confines that my current condition allows I am rather well. Plus writing seems to be helping quite a bit. As long as I have my brain focused on creating coherent sentences that hold some meaning, I am not getting stuck in aforementioned corners and am therefore also not persisting on whatever imaginative paranoid monomania my deranged brain decides to come up with. Which is a good thing as you can imagine, simply because getting obsessed with some craze in my altered state of mind might turn ugly on me pretty quickly. So, I'll have to keep on writing, keep the flow going, don't get stuck on obtuse syntax or vocabulary questions, just keep it moving. I need movement, I need action, I have a need for speed so to say, and I am cranked up to an almost ugly maximum at the moment. Luckily it's not quite ugly yet and albeit some muscle spasms and temporary vertigo, I am still not feeling the tiniest bit of remorse or god forbid regret. I take responsibility for my own actions. Even if that means spending the entire day hunkered down in my room, cautiously avoiding people, and not feeling able to produce anything that makes sense anymore. Yet somehow still writing, which is somewhat contradictory I know, but writing is a kind of red line guiding my thoughts in a 'friendly' direction (for lack of a better word), so it seems like the primal parts of my brain are using the composition of words to keep the more sophisticated areas of my cerebrum from a long and dreadful pitfall leading to complete and utter exasperation when trying to think in meaningful terms. And as long as that's working, at least to some extent, I feel that I can hang on to this that I currently perceive as being my last straw already dangling at a silver thread. I have to admit that that sounds a bit melodramatic, but it actually sums up my feelings when it comes to this topic quite nicely.

Damn! I stared into the nothingness with an empty mind for about five minutes without even noticing just now. It literally feels like my brain has turned to mush. A grey, tasteless, emotionless mush, left with no abilities except to serve as ballast for my skull. Sounds sad, I know. But it'll pass. Tomorrow is another day, and it's going to be a lot less junkie-like than yesterday and today turned out to be. Well, not junkie-like per se. I am still writing this sitting on my retractable bed in the comfort of my medium-well cleaned apartment, with an abundance of psychoactive substances and clean tap water. Which is essentially all I need to survive today. And if I don't overdo the psychoactive chemicals like I did yesterday, I'll be able to catch a good night's sleep, and finally get caught up on the slumber time I've missed these past days. Or at least reach my all-time favorite state of being: the psychotic, deranging, maddening and tiring half-sleep madness that leaves one more exhausted and done for afterwards than one was prior to it. I wonder why my body insists on that kind of "rest" (mind the quotes, they're there for a reason...) instead of just saying Fuck It and using its last resources to stay awake until all fuel is used up, all body parts worn out, every last shred of sanity gone, finally collapsing on or near my bed and then staying asleep for about twelve hours. Just to wake up, enjoy my full cognitive powers for a while, and then start over. Not that that is a normal routine for me, but well, it's the holidays, and friends are coming to visit me, so events tend to transpire and lead from one to another, finally leaving me in the frame of mind thoroughly described in the previous paragraphs. And at some point this lifestyle is going to catch up to me, I realize that. But until then, I am not going to spend my time worrying about when I've reached the point of no return, or when I've gone over the edge. Because, as Hunter S. Thompson rightly said: "[T]he only people who really know where it [the edge] is are the ones who have gone over.". Which is just really fucking true. I mean I know with a fair amount of certainty that I have been close, like really fucking close to the notorious edge. But I cannot say where the edge would actually have been, and if I could I probably wouldn't be around anymore to write about it.

I think that in a certain way, we're all trying to make tiny steps towards the mystery that is the edge in order to test ourselves, to see how close we can get without going over. Which might be considered as being a stupid, and at times even a downright suicidal kind of behavior. But we all do it in our own way. Some use drugs, others sport, others fast cars or motorcycles, others violence, and yet other people use sexual perversions to get as close to where each individual perceives the edge to be. By the way, by "sexual perversions" I do mean pretty hardcore stuff, like S&M, bondage, that kind of shit. I do not however mean downright inhumane and intolerable perversions such as pedophilia or necrophilia. As to bestiality, I suppose if that's what gets you going, then go for it; just make sure that no PETA-members are near you when you do, otherwise you'll be burned at the stake. Why that is, you ask? Well, the goat did not consent to either having put a filthy penis inside of it, or to having its poor penis stuck inside of your vagina/butt. At least that's the kind of reasoning PETA-people will subject your poor ears to. So be prepared for that, and bring ear-plugs. And ask them how to make sure that the animal consents; if they can give you an actual answer to that, they might have at least acquired some good writers or actually found some pseudo-smart ecology student willing to talk to the rest of the world on their behalf in a language that people understand instead of the usual PETA mumble-jumble. But I am almost entirely confident that that will not be the case. I am not here to rant on PETA though, at least not today. What I was saying before this tangent about bestiality and PETA appeared was that we're all wanting to "live life on the fast lane" and thereby approach the edge at rapidly increasing speeds, each and every one of us in their own personal way. In the minuscule confines of our own perception of 'extremes' we all strive to reach them, we all want to be outside of boundaries in some way. Even those most people would not consider as being anywhere close to any extremes are actually already approaching their own personal edge at their own, individual pace. Which might be hard to believe, even I find it to be so, but there is some more or less solid evidence that you can see in those you would consider as non-extreme or even downright lame in your lives: In their perception of the world, they're not taking the normal and unadventurous road, but rather the exciting one that is filled with danger; in "their world", they're approaching the illustrious edge rather quickly, even if it may seem like they haven't even found the proper cardinal direction to go in yet. 

"Where is he going with this?", might be the question on your mind right now. Well, I am not entirely sure either. I've jumped from my supposedly great potential to my process to my current condition to the edge to bestiality and PETA, and finally got back to the topic of the edge. An expression for the boundary whose existence I've always been aware of that I found, as you might have guessed already, in a book written by Hunter S. Thompson. I mean I had of course heard people refer to the edge, and I had a vague clue that that might be the right word to use to describe the margin separating fun from folly, trip from psychosis, and essentially life from death, but only in Thompson's works was I able to acquire the proper depth required to understand his notion of the edge. And as soon as I had done so - understood what he meant by it - I realized that that is exactly the figurative place I had always somewhat known about but had never been sure what term I could use to label it with. "Cliff" would have been the best thing I could have come up with on the spot. And if I had actually spent much time pondering the issue I probably would have wound up using the word Edge whether I had known of HST or not. Because - as most things written by him do - the expression just fits that figurative point of no return like a boxing glove fits on the fists of Muhammad Ali. Thompson has found what I consider to be the perfect way to express his thoughts, which are quite similar to my own actually, and his writings always leave me longing for that kind of rugged perfection that never considered itself as having reached any kind of perfection yet. I want the kind of feeling elicited by being considered close to excellence by a broad audience just by doing what one enjoys doing without having to think about it a thousand times in terms of quality. I actually already have that "gift" (again, for lack of a better word) to some extent, as I had lain out earlier in this beast of a post, but not in the magnitude in which Hunter S. Thompson had it of course. Not even close, really. But well. I am still young and sure as hell do have quite a bit of ambition when it comes to developing my writing to the point mentioned above. I think I have de facto found my calling in life: Writing. I know I have approached that topic before, but it doesn't cease to amaze me: That my ramblings put into words fused into sentences might be of actual value to others. And that I might be able to get my foot in the door in the field of journalism, and of course that I have started writing a novel and will go on working on it so that I can release it in 2015 or 2016 or so. Perhaps earlier, perhaps later. But whatever I end up doing after my studies, it will definitely be something where writing will be my sole responsibility; I don't even want the big money in this aspect, I would just like to be able to write as much as I want to and/or can on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis, and actually collect a paycheck, however tiny it may be, for doing so. That's all I really want out of life actually: To be able to sustain myself and my lifestyle just by writing. To have an actual cash payment in my hands proving the quality of my writing to me. Because nobody is going to pay anything for bad writing, at least that's the assumption I am operating under until proven otherwise. Let's just hope it works. I mean you don't have to, it's not like I have any faith in any of your projects succeeding; I don't even know what any of you guys' plans for the future consist of, and, as harsh as that might sound I am very sure that for the most of you, I don't even want to know. But that was just rude, wasn't it? If anyone felt insulted by this, I am actually inclined to apologize this one time, because I have just been really unfair: I mean you're the people making this all worthwhile, without you my blog would be a ghost-town with only a single spirit floating around booing at itself. A sad sight. But my snide comment above was just a conclusion drawn from statistics. My readership is very roughly composed to fifty percent of Americans and to another fifty percent of Germans. Which it is quite definitely not in reality; but for the sake of this argument, it is. Anyway. We have one in four Americans suffering from insanity, and seeing as I don't trust things "Made in the US", let's make that two in four Americans suffering from a mental illness of sorts. On the other side of the big pool we have the Germans with one out of three people suffering from a psychic problem. That figure seems a tad too low too, so let's say every one and a half persons out of three suffer from a mental problem of sorts. I have about 40 regular readers, 20 US, 20 German. Let's do some math for the first and last time on here: 2/4 = 0.5 * 20 = 10; so ten of the twenty American readers are bat-shit crazy or at least close to it. And seeing as I have adjusted the numbers for Germany a bit, it boils down to the same: 1.5/3 = 0.5 * 20 = 10. Meaning that ten of my twenty German readers are insane as well. So with twenty out of forty people reading this theoretically needing to be locked away in an asylum for the mentally-ill, how can I show any serious interest in your future projects? I mean, put yourself in my position, and then think if you would have said anything even remotely similar to what I just said. I think you would be lying to yourself if you said no altogether; you may of course disagree with me on the things I am saying or even show me that the statistics I found are completely bogus, but you'd still have to admit that you would have acted similarly on a different level so to speak, had you been in my position. 

Wow. I am not even sure if there is any sense in the above paragraph. I hope so, because if I discover that there isn't any meaning whatsoever in these deranged ramblings from a brain gone rogue on speed and sleep-deprivation, I'll have to rewrite quite a lot of words, and then this post will be delayed even further, so I really hope that these words I am typing right now will be able to stay where they are and not be subject to eradication on the morning that is bound to follow; 'bound to follow' because that's the way life goes, you can call it Karma, Ying&Yang, or just refer to Cypress Hill's "What Goes Around Comes Around", which is essentially the concept of Karma put in Rap. Anyhow. There will always be a morning following a night, just like good will be done onto you if you hath done good onto others. Trust me, I am not trying to get all preachy on you here, but these concepts hold such a fundamental truth that I feel the need to urge each and every one of you reading this to try and implement it in your own lives. It's really as easily done as it is said for once. You just have to behave like a decent human being, and that's the way most others will behave towards you. I mean, there are always going to be a few assholes wherever you go but you should not make their behavior affect yours negatively, and rather have it do the opposite: Continue being polite to everyone, be even more so than usually, and think of aforementioned assholes when you want to do something that you know to be wrong/immoral/bad to do, and then remind yourself that you have no reason whatsoever to stoop to their level. Their level being the kind of cheap stupid thrill people seem to get out of violence and asshole-behavior nowadays; even more so than the ancient Romans used to actually. A level that most of the country, hell, the entire fucking world has been devolving towards. Which is unfortunate, really. So many potential readers lost in the works of a system that will grind them down to small conforming shells of their former personalities without any form of individual identity. And are then left with a feeling of great emptiness inside their chests whenever the TV-set is turned off and the world stops giving a shit about the things these parasitic clones brainwashed by oppressive governments wanting to do what the fuck they want without having to ask a congress or god forbid the citizens are actually made of, which basically amounts to nothing at all: Assholes looking for weaker assholes that they can get in a cocky arguments with that ultimately lead to fist-fights that are of no use to anyone but these guys' egos. And even these egos have no real use for the feeling of superiority achieved by winning a fight anymore, seeing as they have long ago been caved out by parental abuse and inferiority complexes. Either of the two actually, not necessarily both, and possibly something different altogether. All options are quite hard, but we all know that that's the way shit goes down in the real world: You work hard, you study hard, you take on usually unpaid internships, you learn about "real work" in a "real office", and finally you'll wind up being the doormat of some corporate plug that was born with a gold-plated diamond spoon in his filthy rich and spoiled mouth. And if you dare complaining about his utter lack of social skills and decent behavior, that will be the longest you have worked for that company. They [the corporations] don't like people that cause trouble, they don't want actual thinkers. Not even in the highest management levels anymore. The companies pay some experts to take care of all the things that managers used to take care of. And then the managers themselves are left with a few coordinating tasks that do not require any thought whatsoever: The retarded love-child of a donkey with down syndrome and an ape having literally shit instead of brains could do the jobs I have seen managers being appointed for these days. Which just proves my point: Most corporations are not looking for anyone that has the ability to think on their feet and/or be creative anymore, but rather for a clone, a robotic parody of a human being only designed to take and complete orders. Of course there are managers still in need of doing their job and being creative whilst doing so, but their numbers are rapidly receding. This indicates quite clearly that the cold business world that was never really my favorite place on the industrial checkerboard that is the economy has now completely ruined my faith in anything related to companies and corporations, meaning that I will definitely have to get some job in which I can really just stick to writing; I need the kind of job I had already indicated my affinity for earlier. I mean, I actually need it! I cannot go on for three years studying business if I can't live out my passion for writing in the meantime. 

Hah. I should probably have gone to writing/journalism/creative classes instead of opting for the safe choice of studying business first to have some sort of base that I can build my future career, in whatever field that may be on. But well, usually the safe bet is the best bet, so it might turn out as an advantage for me being safely enrolled in something that will lead to me having a diploma which is internationally recognized and enables me to find a decently paying job to make ends meet. At least that's the plan. I hope to seriously get into either my novel or journalism before that point in time arrives though, seeing as I'd already have an occupation then that could get me some sort of paycheck and that has the additional bonus of not revolving around me sitting at a fancy desk wearing a tight-ass suit that does not even leave enough room for the boys to hang, if you catch my drift. I just fucking hate dressing like a goddamned penguin with the sole purpose of looking socially acceptable to people I have nothing in common with whatsoever. What's the problem with a slightly sagged pair of jeans, a t- or khaki-shirt, and a good old pair of sneakers from Nike, AND1 or similar brands. Not Adidas though, I have for some inexplicable reason always disliked Adidas clothing, especially when compared to its Nike counter-parts. The cause for my disliking of Adidas is probably my predilection for Nike products that has been prevalent in me for almost a decade now without any reasons based on any logic whatsoever. The Nike-swoosh is just way cooler than the Adidas-stripes can ever hope to be. But that's just my opinion and completely irrelevant, as I feel pretty much everything I am going to type from hereon will be.

So I am putting a stop to this now gargantuan beast of a post that somehow turned out to be of almost 4600 words in length now already. I don't know how that happened to be honest. I sat down looking at about 700 words. What ensued then is what I remember as a myriad of scenes just flashing in front of my intensely exhausted eyes from the dreaded hours past; and after that I was staring at about 4200 words of text. I have no idea in hell how my exasperated and by now thoroughly used up body still awake from last night managed to actually compose such a long entry without having it turn to complete gibberish or completely detaching itself from a golden thread that might actually not even be existent here. But if it is, I have definitely not detached the rest of the text entirely from it albeit of course straying from the general path laid out by said thread a little bit every now and then. But well, given my still quite heavily altered state of mind I think that this might actually make for an interesting read, or maybe at least show you how morbidly weird thought patterns can get with a long enough lack of sleep and a large enough concentration of chemical stimulants in the blood-stream. It can be quite confusing to those having never partaken in any form of use of an "illegal" substance (I do not think that anyone has the right to label a substance that will only harm those who willingly take it as illegal, hence the quotes around that filthy word), but I trust that it offered you a direct albeit possibly bewildering insight into the frame of mind of someone under the influence of an essentially dirty and for some reason also magnetic stimulant (yep, you cannot use a credit card to dry and align Speed - it will fuck up the card's magnetic stripe and make it completely unusable). 

Anyway. I have already said before that no more good will come out of my continuous typing, and yet I went on to write a whole new paragraph filled with semi-usable info about the creation of this post and Speed. 
Well, I hope you have been entertained, shocked, insulted, excited, angered, amused, bewildered, or simply informed, or all, or none of the here-mentioned by this truly gigantic post. Whichever emotion it was, I am just glad to elicit any kind of feeling in audiences, seeing as that proves that I have reached these people in some way, to some extent. In this light, I'll leave you be, and as always, share some great music with you:

James Brown - It's a man's world 
-> Ah. James Brown. Great musician with a grand voice from somewhere out of space. And well, this is one of his most famous songs, but that's not the reason for its appearance here. Not even the message is the actual reason for it either. No, this song is here because I just watched "Smoking Aces 2" and it is featured in a scene there. And that somehow elicited a goose-bumpy feeling in my groin, which made me borderline anxious to put it up here. But regardless of the reason, this song is just fucking awesome, so... Enjoy!

Warren Zevon - Wanted Dead Or Alive 
-> Well, I've just recently discovered Warren Zevon and his music, but I have to say that I fiercely enjoy it and will therefore be posting a couple of his songs on here every now and then. And well, I really like "Californication"; I idolize Hunter S. Thompson; and I have always been fond of guitar-based music anyway, meaning that this song really speaks to me on a number of levels and therefore needed featuring on here, so... Enjoy!

Warren Zevon - Mr. Bad Example 
-> As I just said, I've grown to really enjoy this guy's music, and this song is just too grand for words... A self-designated asshole spouting filthy words to live by if being infamous is what you thrive for. And well, all in all this is just a great piece of classic American music, so... Enjoy!

Pegboard Nerds - Frainbreeze 
-> Well here we go again, the second time Pegboard Nerds are on here, and, hell, they deserve to be! Nice atmospheric intro that already hints at the ensuing awesomeness and is rounded up by a great drop that remains in a melodic, glitch-y kind of realm which I really enjoy! All in all a great song with some nice rhythm and melody combined using heavy drops infused into a three and a half minute long piece of greatness that is just, well, great, so... Enjoy!

Spag Heddy - Still Raggamuffin (feat. dESH) 
-> OH HELL FUCKING YES!! This is so fucking awesome I once again lack the words to describe it properly! I've featured Spag Heddy on here before I am sure, but I have not ever heard any genre-crossing by them yet, and I have to say that I am very impressed. To say the least actually. This is so fucking grand, I can't even begin to stop being insanely enthusiastic about it! Amazing vocals, crazy-ass drops, and an overall timeless piece of incredible music, so... Enjoy!

Nature One Inc - The Golden Twenty (Jerome's Official Anthem Mix) 
-> I WAS THERE! IT WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME! I do not have the words to describe how amazing it was to be there! I already attended last year, but this time we had planned everything out much better and were not as ill-prepared as we had been the year before, so it was even more enthralling than it was back then! And well, this is not the anthem I was looking for, but it's still up to par and manages to reflect the goose-bump-inducing awesomeness that is Nature One quite well, so... Enjoy!

Wu-Tang Clan - Gravel Pit
-> Such a great classic track, how could I have forgotten about posting it on here until now? I don't know. What I do know though is that this song is fucking awesome, the video is funny as hell, and well I love Wu-Tang anyway, so... Enjoy!

Snoop Dogg - Ain't No Fun (feat. Nate Dogg, Warren G, Kurupt) 
-> Tha Dogg Pound has always been making superior funk-influenced gangster rap, and this song is by no means an exception. Some of the best MCs of the time getting together on a funky-ass beat on one of the great classic rap albums of all time to create a great track that delivers the very essence of pimp prevalent in west-coast rap back in the day. Can't believe I hadn't put this up here before, it's one of my favorite songs ever come to think of it, so... Enjoy!

Busta Rhymes - Break Ya Neck 
-> Another one of these songs that I cannot believe haven't been put up on here yet. I mean, this is like THE classic Busta Rhymes track. And I have neglected it until today. That is sad actually. But anyway, this tune is so fucking awesome and raw; Busta is one of the ill-est MCs out there, and his former style which is still prevalent in this piece of musical genius was so grand, he really brought rap to another level, so... Enjoy!

Well, it took an eternity for this post to appear on the internet once again, and I have to apologize for this. I typed it in the middle of a speed-frenzied night and could not for the life of me remember half of what I wrote the next morning, so I wanted to re-read the whole thing before posting it. And I still had to add music to it as well, plus the entire process was halted by the Nature One festival for a couple of days, meaning that I was unable to finish it off until today. But it's done now. I am unsure about its quality and the depth of its content, but I think it is as always adequate. At least I hope that it is.
I just hope that this entry is enjoyable to you in spite of the many erratic and jumpy lines of thought barely having any actual logical adjacency present throughout the entire thing.


Peace!