The holidays

have brought with them a weird tingling feel inside of me - I am annoyed. By all those things summer actually: Sun, happiness, love, and all similarly mind-numbing happy-makers that us humans seem to so desperately depend on.
Yes, I am once again in my favorite state of being: alone, pissed off, and eager to vent in writing. So this will be a treat for you cynically-depressed maniacs out there. I cannot for the life of me figure out where this mood comes from though. I mean, I have been alone again for a while now; I haven't had any problems with other people, and am generally not feeling bad per se. So why is this annoyed anger amassing amongst my neuronal axons? I don't know to be honest. I simply don't. All I know is that I sifted through tons of trash and spam mail this morning and came across an old e-mail by my bitch of an ex-girlfriend from a few years ago. And well, this got me curious enough to see if she had still blocked me on Facebook, and well, she has. Which I find funny actually, seeing as she was the one who tore my heart to pieces back then, but somehow felt that I was the one that needing blocking out. 

Anyway. I am not here to rant about some lower life-form crawling around somewhere in the more disgusting parts of Germany. No, I am today going to address the grand topic of why summery weather is annoying as fuck. Don't get me wrong though, I like having it warm and lying down in the sun near a lake with a beer,  but still, the summer always brings along your typical, ever-grinning idiots that cannot seem to find a thing wrong with this fucked up world of ours. At least not when "the sun is shining, man". Fuckers all. It's a trend that has and probably always will be prevalent in some people, and it's always worst during summer. I have had it with those kind of humans always seeing the best in any situation, worsening my usual annoyance with their overly enthusiastic attitude about anything. I mean, I sound like a grumpy asshole right now, but in reality I just want to chill. It's not like I'm running around with a sour face all day and poisoning everyones' good mood. I just cannot stand the fact that people seem to think that things are always that much better in the summer. And I cannot stand the relentless and redundant notion of constantly perpetuating a status of this jolly but ultimately annoying overdrive-happiness that some people exude as soon as the temperatures outside start to rise even the slightest bit. It's just downright stupid if you ask me. I mean of course it's deeply rooted in our evolutionary make-up, seeing as sun means warmth and life, and stands for fertility and prosperity, so it is understandable that sunlight speaks to our primal instincts and therefore compels us to feel more enthusiastic and "alive". But still, aren't we at the top of the food chain because we managed not to succumb to these primitive urges but rather developed a consciousness and a rational mind to think abstractly about situations before entering a thoughtless frenzy of emotion-based dumbness? It seems to me that the same way rose-tainted glasses manage to alter my perception of things when socially intertwined in what is commonly referred to as a "relationship", sunny weather alters the perception of aforementioned people. I mean I can relate to being completely tangled in an emotional net of instinct-driven decisions, but at some point a stop needs to be put to the madness that is emotional thinking and logic needs to return as the prevalent influence on decisions. Without logic, we'd return to a state of dumb beasts, purely living for survival and reproduction. And if we get back to that point we might as well go back to living in the woods and sustaining ourselves by hunting. So please people, keep your emotions aside next time you decide to be happy and think about actual reasons to be besides it being warm outside, which for me simply does not count.

But well. Most people, as do I, do base a lot of everyday decisions on instinct and intuition. And that is not wrong. Per se. It is normal that we don't analyze every step we take, otherwise humanity would still be stuck in the dark ages simply due to the fact that development would have taken forever. But the problem I addressed above refers much more to those decisions and/or feelings that should be analyzed properly before being taken or felt, seeing as their impact is large enough to justify a slow but well thought through decision.

Okay, I am going to be honest with you guys: I have no idea where I'm going with this, and no clue how to go on. So I am not going to go on, and instead switch my focus to a different topic altogether: a lifestyle I have encountered during a sort of job interview I've had recently. I was meeting the guy I am now going to write articles for in a larger city close to the little town I live in, and he decided to take me with him to meet a few producers and artists he works with in order to write a trial article which would be the base for his appraisal of my writing and therefore also for his decision whether to hire me or not. And well, we ended up in an alternative kind of living community, where artists work, live, drink and smoke together. An enthralling experience to say the least. These people represent for me the kind of life I have always been keen on: the life of a drifter, only marginal responsibilities but full dedication to their art and their peers, a harmonious togetherness outside of mainstream society but not entirely cut-off either. They're doing what I've always been preaching: "living without, but working within". All of them have small jobs to pay the bills and make ends meet, but ultimately their life revolves around their passion that is music. I want that. Exactly that. Which is why I am so glad I got the job as a columnist for the guy, seeing as I have now direct access to these people and can get my foot in the door of journalism, meaning that I am one step closer to being able to lead a similar life: focusing on writing and maybe even making music whilst not being held down in the grudges and dogmas of regular society. The feeling elicited by this vibrant community of like-minded people was as gargantuan in deepness as it was in exhilaration. I finally got to see the kind of life and dedication to a passion I had thought lost in this day and age. I cannot stress how fucking authentic these guys were, how damn cool and relaxed their view of the world was, and how they had very similar views on issues I find important. I mean, this is exactly what I have been striving for, it's quite liberating to know that the possibility of leading such a life is very real and not that far out of reach for me anymore. Plus I now have the opportunity to prove myself in the journalistic field to some extent, which makes me really anxious to finally get to writing the next article. These articles I am writing are by the way almost exclusively going to be coverages of parties this guys' organization throws, and all my expenses will be covered, which is nice. But I am actually just happy to get my name out there. That can of course, as most things in life be traced back to the most basic of human needs asides from shelter and food: the need for recognition. I know that, you know that, everyone does. Understandable enough though, isn't it? As I had already ascertained in an earlier post, we all strive for immortality of sorts. And getting a step closer to being able to work as a journalist/columnist, and thereby having hundreds, if not thousands of people read my words, however mundane and formal they may be in the case of my new job (I was told to keep things formal and clean, at least in the articles that is), and that alone already brings me a bit closer to being unforgettable and rooted in peoples' minds for eternity. I like to think that at least my writing will be able to live on when my body slowly crumbles under the sum of accidents and intoxicants that should long ago have killed me; and if that is actually the case at any point in my life, I will gladly embrace death with a laughter that will echo in history. But enough of that. If I talk about this fascinating idea too much it'll become mundane and I risk sounding self-absorbed, which is something I am not and therefore want to avoid coming across as. 
The point I want to make in all this is actually just that I feel like I've finally crossed the first of probably many bridges on my way to establishing myself as an actual wordsmith and journalist of sorts, and it just feels good. Plus I've gotten a look at the life of those that have music as a main priority in their being; I have gotten a look at real-life examples of the lifestyle I have always striven to live myself. And I also have the feeling that the crossing of aforementioned bridge also has the potential to bring me closer to that kind of existence, making the whole thing even more exciting and enthralling for me.

And that's actually about it. This post turned out to start as depressive, then a sudden cut followed by positivity. And I have to apologize for the inelegance of said switch in topic, but I could not for the life of me figure out how to go on after the first couple of paragraphs, so I decided to be honest about that, cut the golden thread and start anew on something taken directly out of my personal life. Anyway. I do hope that this was enjoyable to you nevertheless, and I am almost on deadline by the way. Well, nothing further need be said, except that I'll leave you, as always, with some good music:

RacknRuin - Dazed & Confused (SKisM's Baroque Out Remix)
-> This melody is so fucking awesome, I can't even begin to describe it, and combined with the heavy fucking drop and the quite well done rap, plus the female vocals, all infused into two and a half minute of awesomeness... Grand track, great artists, amazing music; those were the good days for UKF Dubstep, and Dubstep generally, so... Enjoy!

The Agitator - Say No (Cutline Remix)
-> Asides from having awesome political, anti-oppression lyrics, this song further is fucking amazing musically, with an unexpectedly executed but nevertheless gargantuan drop and an overall nice melodic make-up that reminds me of the earlier Dubstep realeases, so... Enjoy!

Kendrick Lamar feat. Mc Eiht - m.A.A.d City
-> After having put it off for an eternity because I don't believe in the newest rap releases, I finally got around to listening to Kendrick Lamar's "Good Kid, m.A.A.d City" and I can't say that I regret doing so. This guy's actually bringing Compton back on the map, and doing so quite awesomely. Plus he's featuring Mc Eiht who's pretty well-known from his work with "Compton's Most Wanted" back in the NWA-days, which is pretty huge. And Kendrick is not one of your "hoes, money, weed" kind of guys, he actually has substance in his lyrics, so... Enjoy!

Method Man & Redman - Y.O.U 
-> "That's my story, and I'm sticking to it" - Red&Meth together are just funny as hell and awesomely talented MCs, I have always loved all of their work, be it solo or together, and well this song is no exception. The only problem with this is that VEVO needed to censor it of course, but well, now you know which song I mean and can procure an uncensored version somewhere else, so... Enjoy!

Curse feat. Gentleman - Widerstand 
-> Gentleman are a German reggae group that you might have heard of seeing as they're somewhat internationally acclaimed, and Curse is one of the best German lyricists, with deep texts and awesome messages, the one in this song being love, harmony, and standing up to a corrupt and depraved system. All in all this is a great and really chill song, so... Enjoy!

Warren Zevon - The Hula Hula Boys 
-> Guess how I got the idea to feature this song? Exactly! "The curse of Lono", a great book written by my favorite author, Hunter S. Thompson. He mentioned it in there, and I've just had to Google it, and I was not disappointed. Cool song with a funny story in it, and well "I didn't come to Maui to be treated like a jerk", so... Enjoy!

So, this is it for now. And I know I'm somewhat past my deadline once again, which this time was not because I didn't get time to write, but rather because I took an eternity to choose the songs I would feature. I don't know why it took me as much time as it did, but I am definitely pleased with the outcome and I hope you are as well, I've got a pretty awesome selection above I think. And well, this post was somewhat weirder than my previous ones, but "when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" (HST), so I am confident that this entry is worth of being on here. I hope you feel the same and that I did not bore you to death. And if I did, please be so kind as to make your demise noticeable so that you don't stink up your apartment building; rotten corpses smell really intensely bad. 


Peace!

Food for thought

Well, firstly, I want to say that I luckily managed to get some sleep the other night after all, I passed out in front of my TV around 5:30 and slept until 11 AM, which is quite nice, and my sleep pattern returned to normal yesterday, so whatever the reason was for my sleep deprivation, it seems to have passed.

So, secondly, I have some food for thought for you guys. Have you ever wondered about the very idea of social interactions? I mean, why is it that us humans feel the need to adapt certain norms and conform to a certain way of living when coexisting in settlements? Why is it that even in western society, the individual crumbles under the creeping influence of the masses, and end ups conforming to societies demands?

Personally, I think that we are just insecure in our foundation. I believe that most people have some form of underlying inferiority complex that makes them strive to achieve a kind of social recognition, makes them pursue a life of conformity in order to be accepted into whatever community it is they find themselves in, be it at work, at home, or as a player in the societal game, which in itself is defined by conforming to what happens around you, e.g.: small talk with new acquaintances; dressing "appropriately" for certain events; following rules that undermine ones ability to think freely; not stepping out of line; keeping ones mouth shut; and so on...

But do we really need these norms, these mental regulations that we put upon ourselves just to fit in and not ruffle any feathers? Has mankind really stooped to a point where every individual is just pandering a boring, lifeless version of themselves to the mind-numbed masses? Or am I just misjudging this behavior? Is humanity maybe really just moving towards a unanimous gigantic glob of similar minded people and opinions, and I am the outcast that just perceives this as a threatening sign of worldwide conformity? I obviously can not with certainty know the answer to this, but I will work on the assumption that I am not misinterpreting what I am seeing, which does not mean that I reject the entire concept of society and social interactions, just that I am worried about the extent to which people are willing to compromise their individuality in order to conform to societal norms nowadays.

This adaption of routine. This eternal infernal loop of repetition. This conformity. It's slowly crushing against my skull like waves on a riff, and my individual personality is slowly crumbling like stone that has been washed away by centuries of relentless waves moving back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth... Isn't it sad? I mean, take a look back, not even that long ago, let's say five to ten years; what do you see? Do you remember that item of clothing or that sticker or that haircut that you did not want to get rid of? Well now you did, didn't you? And that's not even the worst part, people changing is natural, but the problem is that these things have not been replaced by equally personal or even controversial items, but rather by suits, ties and briefcases that make you look like one of the millions of ant-like creatures slowly dragging their cloned, all equally gray and dull bodies out of the gates of hell that are subway stations and ultimately reaching the rotting dark chambers that we call 'offices' in order to repeat the same relentless routine for eight to twelve hours each and every day, only to then drag themselves back to their homes, conforming, working, fitting in, functioning, and dying internally until they're nothing but an empty hollow husk of the individuals they once used to be.

Hopefully this has somewhat stimulated your mind, and gave you some things to think about or perhaps some things to rethink... Let me know!

So, this was tonight's 'food for thought', which is something I will be doing from time to time, and is, as you just read, essentially me giving my opinion on some topic that comes to mind (suggestions are always welcome!), and thereby hopefully animating you guys to think a little for yourselves!
Tonight turned out pretty sinister to be honest, I was thinking of choosing something easily digestible or even happy as a topic for the first 'food for thought', but I somehow got dragged into the whole topic of society and conformity, and that always ends up in dark sentences when I write about it.
I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless, and if you have anything to say, compliment or criticize about what I wrote here, feel free to use the comment section to do so, and I'll be sure to answer it.

So, this concludes this blog entry. But, seeing as this is "music and personal wisdom", here are some more links to some more great music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaRG0ukxYqQ
Method Man and Busta Rhymes - What's Happenin' - classic; two amazing artists; nuff said.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bED316K3CtU
B-Real, Coolio, Method Man, LL Cool J and Busta Rhymes - Hit'Em High - I'm feeling classic songs tonight, and this is another gem in that category! nuff said.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmiG-gfuqQc
Redman, Method Man and Ready Roc - Blow Treez - "This should be played at high volume, preferably in a residential neighborhood" :D Great song, great Bob Marley sample, great artists, and its about weed, what more could one ask for?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8iKWB9bRn4
Cypress Hill, Method Man and Redman - Cisco Kid - I'm really in Meth&Red mode tonight, another amazing song, taken from one of the greatest stoner movies of all times, "How High", so... nuff said?!

And, finally : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6iKbgwKHtM&list=PLFC3AC823A80FC8D9
Which is not music per se, but the "Meth&Red Show", which is really hilarious, too bad FOX had to be dicks, hindering meth and red in their creative process and ultimately leading to the shows cancellation, but the episodes that do exist are rib-crushingly funny. And if you have never seen it, you're in for a treat; and if you have, meh, maybe it's time to watch it once again? ;)

Alright, that's it for tonight, I'm going to get nice and 'relaxed', watch some cartoons and go to bed :P

Peace!