The demise of the wicked

is always accompanied by some grand victory of those deemed decent by society, isn't it? When Bin Laden died, Obama was jolted into a mainstream hype around his persona. When the Allies finally got rid of Nazi-Germany they were (rightly) put up on a golden pedestal as well. And in most cases, that is fully justifiable. But we also need to examine these kind of developments from another perspective. Perhaps these "wicked" common enemies are only made out to be that by those that want society to deem them as heroes of decency so to say. Which would mean that those we perceive as wicked are actually just punching bags of goodie two-shoes gone mad. Of course, I do not want to imply that the above examples of Nazis and Bin Laden are only scapegoats or anything like that. In their case, it was actually just them being assholes that needed stopping by people with some sort of decency. But in a more general context, we can see far too often that people talk smack about others in order to make themselves seem better to their audience. A sign of sad humans with diminutive self-esteem. But alas, these are the persons in charge nowadays. Insecure and hollow shells of human beings.

I don't want to rant on and on about politicians again though. I think I have stumbled upon another context in which the above glorification can be applied, namely that of relationships, or rather that of break-ups. When a split occurs, and two formerly intertwined individuals decide to part again, one of the two parties will always try and make the other party seem like a wicked being that is solely responsible for things not working out between them. Such behavior clearly leads to one thing and one thing only: "neutral" members of the audience (friends' friends, not-so-close relatives, etc.) will be led to believe that the party dragging the other one down is in reality the victim of the vicious break-up. It makes the person being talked smack about seem like a shallow caricature of a human being. And that is just sad to say the least. Happenings as dire as a break-up usually put a lot of strain on both former partners, and it is usually a combination of bother partners' misbehavior and annoyance that brings the coupling to its final destination. 
So, what do we have here? Two people, both equally responsible for their drifting apart. And one of them trying to make it seem like the other is more so by talking shit. At least that's what it seems like if you look at broken-up couples around you, isn't it? I mean, it's probably equally as likely that that behavior stems from trying to cope with the new situation somehow. The new situation being that the one person you trusted completely, the most intimate connection you had in your life, all of sudden turning into a complete stranger. Our primitive brains cannot handle that kind of drastic change, so it is left with a few options at best; one of these is the aforementioned smack-talking about the former partner. I guess the underlying concept at work there is the basic human need for recognition once again. If we were to blame ourselves, our social surroundings would look down upon and judge us for our inability to keep the relationship functioning; if we delegate that blame to our former special someone though, we're perceived as mere victims of circumstance and therefore receive attention en masse, thereby satisfying aforementioned need. But that's not the main point I am trying to make here. What that is is essentially that people need to refrain from talking bullshit about others. I don't even have any specific example in mind right now, it's just a general thing that I've noticed that definitely needs to stop.

But well, that's about all that I have to say about that actually. I am sitting in front of my TV set right now, dumbly staring at commercials and wondering who the fuck falls for these blunt and downright stupid marketing tricks at work there? I mean there are TV spots advertising a fucking smartphone by having some ladies in a swimsuit do "yoga" to some fucked up music. They're barely even showing the phone for fuck's sake. I cannot believe that that appeals to people so much that it's run on national television. I mean there are of course some creative and actually funny ads out there that I have genuinely enjoyed, aside from the fact that they're still designed to push some BS product on to me of course, but those are the exception rather than the rule. But I can complain about it all I want, my studies are going to land me in a job where I'll be part of the people benefiting from this kind of blatant exploitation of basic human desires. I mean, some of these promotional tools are downright manipulative. Of course there are laws restraining the deceptiveness that advertisements are allowed to exude, but still, labile people are being conned into buying things they don't really need, and that's just unfair. Sure, if you're dumb enough to actually buy into these advertisement schemes it's essentially your own fault because their methods are so fucking obvious it hurts, but still, shouldn't companies have some sort of responsibility towards those mentally unable to recognize these subtle influential messages in the ads? I guess not, seeing as if they had that kind of responsibility their sales would probably drop significantly due to the fact that they rely on those gullible enough to be persuaded by the firms' marketing wizards. A sad truth, isn't it? The entire economical system is built up on the exploitation of others it seems. Cheap labor, bad quality products, deluding advertisement, and so on. But unfortunately the system has worked so far, and you don't change a working system. Until it collapses and you're forced to. Although even that's not the case with our economy: we've had tons of economic recessions and depressions causing huge problems on a global scale, and we did not even adapt the system to meet the root of these problems. Or barely did so at best. And isn't that just sad to see? We're too stupid to learn from our mistakes, and we haven proven to be over and over again.

I am somehow reminded of words from the "Matrix" movie: "You [Humans] move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague [...]"
Just let these words sink in for a minute, wait until they develop their full effects like a good hit of ecstasy. Only that it's going to be a bad trip. Because once you think about it you see just how much fucking truth that statement holds. I mean, you know me. I'm not your hippie, eco- and nature-loving wuss that thinks we need to harmonize with the environment by hugging trees and eating some disgusting vegan stew all day long. But still. We're fucking up the only place to live pretty harshly, and despite having the technology necessary to change our ways in a fashion that would not alter our everyday life a lot, greedy corporate plugs called "politicians" are hanging on to the old and destructive methods because they are more profitable. Fucked up, isn't it? Maybe some sort of Armageddon might help. Maybe we need to be almost wiped off the face of the earth to start caring about things. Or maybe we'll just go on and on until we have the technology to conquer a new planet and leave Earth as a disgusting, hollow shell only inhabited by monstrous radioactively-poisoned beings barely resembling the humans they once were. Or we'll all just fucking perish. Which would probably be best for the planet anyway. But fuck all that, when that shit goes down I'll probably be long buried and forgotten about anyways. Not that I wouldn't encourage environmental-friendly actions by the governments. But I'm not willing to make a huge effort in my everyday life simply because of the fact that the world leaders could make most of their economies completely eco-friendly by ignoring the pleas of the companies that are funding their campaigns. And seeing as they're not willing to show a tiny bit of incentive and backbone and stand up to their corporate puppeteers, I'm not willing to recycle or shit like that. All trash is burned anyway, so why the fuck should I have to use separate trashcans? Okay, I can understand it for like glass and paper, but everything else is burned together anyways, so why the fuck can't I just throw my fucking garbage in a single fucking bag?

I got somewhat off topic there. From politicians to trashcans. Well that's actually not that far off-topic is it? Politicians are essentially human trashcans, so that works quite nicely.
But I am just putting together ramblings about other ramblings of myself again, so I'll put a stop to this post now.

I took some time to finish this things once again, but I was kind of busy with Green Scorpion News, which is a blog dedicated to news coverage that I have started a couple of days ago. And well, finding time to write is kind of hard during holidays, seeing as I am constantly overwhelmed by people wanting to go somewhere and do something, and I am just too nice a person to say no to every single one of them, so I end up being pretty busy all day anyway.
But well, I hope I managed to entertain you with this post and also hope that you will enjoy GSN, where I will be posting in random intervals.
And with this, and some good music, I'll leave you be: 

Diam's - Ma France à moi
-> This is a song I really enjoyed during my time in France obviously, but also afterwards, and now decided to share with you after "rediscovering" it this morning whilst cleaning dishes. Well, Diam's is a talented French artist, and this song is really critical of French society and politics, and as you know I enjoy that kind of message in music. Plus, she's also musically awesome, and I enjoy her rapping in general, so... Enjoy!

Wiz Khalifa & Snoop Dogg - Smokin' On (feat. Juicy J) 
-> Well, I am not really familiar with Juicy J and his works, but apart from being part of this new wave in Hip Hop that I am somewhat suspicious about I cannot see much wrong with him, and this song is all in all a great weed smoking tune by two of my favorite weed smokers ever. I am not sure if I had posted this on here before, but I don't think so. If I did, please let me know, otherwise... Enjoy!

Space Laces - Digital Gangsta 
-> I have, as always, looked on the UKF Dubstep channel for their newest uploads, and stumbled upon this gem. It takes a while to get to the drop, but it is definitely worth the wait. I mean I've heard a similar things before, but like a minute after the first drop the bass gets extremely interesting, and all in all the song is pretty fucking awesome and has a certain energy within that is just stupefying, so... Enjoy!

Feed Me - One Click Headshot 
-> Awesome! Simply fucking awesome! This popped up in the recommendations section of the above video, and following this link was the best thing I could possibly do, because it led me to this bit of pure filthy awesomeness, much more violent and energy-laden than most songs I've heard in the past couple of weeks, and it has a great melodic aspect too, making this tune an overall amazing piece of music, which needed featuring on here, so... Enjoy!

Iron Maiden - Hallowed Be Thy Name 
-> Amazing track by a classic band, I cannot believe I haven't featured this epic piece of musical greatness on here yet; it's such an amazing mixture of heavenly guitar-play, fiery vocals, and awesome rhythm made possible by bass and drums. All in all an epic slice of musical perfection that needed to be brought to your attention (again hopefully), so... Enjoy!

Hunter S. Thompson & Ralph Steadman - Weird And Twisted Nights 
-> I couldn't believe it at first, but it's actually true: Hunter S. Thompson made a song with British artist Ralph Steadman. I believe it's Steadman singing and Hunter playing. And well, the song is pretty fucking awesome, especially when mixed with stimulating intoxicants. And well, I idolize Thompson anyway, and am still baffled by this discovery, meaning that I will now play this song on repeat for a couple of days. Anyway. Amazing song, legendary artists... Enjoy!

Well, this post kind of jumped between topics rather shallowly, but I was as mentioned earlier quite busy with Green Scorpion News and real life. But well, I do hope that this belated entry was still enjoyable to you, and I do think I touched on some important issues I hadn't talked about so far, meaning that the essential purpose of the blog, namely to inform, educate, and serving as an eye-opener to people, has still been accomplished. So, as always, I hope that you're now thinking or rethinking things, and/or that your eyes were opened by some of the things mentioned.

And I will really, really try to post more regularly from now on. Really!


Peace!

Food For Thought #5

“...most men and women will grow up to love their servitude and will never dream of revolution.”            - Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

Well, I am once again in doubt about anything related to social intertwining, and in delay in regard to my own personal deadline, but no-one is really buying that I am actually trying to stick to that anymore, are they?
I mean, I can have as many good reasons as I want to, the fact of the matter remains that I have not stuck to a deadline since like, forever. Except in the first few weeks when I posted almost daily. But well, I'm lazy. And busy. Bad combination to begin with, but try cramming a blog into that. Still I feel that I have a certain obligation to post at least close to my deadline on here, seeing as I have by now established somewhat of a readership I hope, and I am not one to disappoint. So, here I am again, typing on my broken laptop abusing the WiFi of my favorite Coffee-shop. But whatever. You've heard that a thousand times by now. Not anymore in the near future though, seeing as my internet at home has finally been installed and I am now able to procrastinate even more using the convenient method of online streaming. What a wonderful world. I will probably have some government henchman knocking at my door soon enough to get his hands on all the filthy copyright infringements I have stacked up in my time. Fuck that though, it's not like he'd actually find anything of relevance. Or even of enough illegality to sue me. At least not digitally that is. 

Hah. I should quit this line of thought, the internet is crawling with parasitic law enforcement trying to grab whatever tiny piece of supposedly illegal activities their dirty little paws can reach. And I am no mood to have these assholes on my back. And well, there's a little something called "Freedom of speech" and an additional bonus of "artistic liberties" I can take. So fuck you very much, whatever government control-freak is reading this.
Anyway. My mind is drifting between topics, and I cannot for the life of me decide which one to pick for today's Food For Thought segment. Which is by the way something I haven't done in quite a while compared to the regularity in which the last four of these posts appeared, so I decided to have a go at it once again. I actually had a topic in mind when I started typing, but I am unsure now that I've typed a couple of words. My uncertainty regarding my choice of a topic stems from the variety of themes that are offered to me by my surroundings on a daily basis. I'm at times literally so overwhelmed with bullshit that I cannot even decide what to rant about here. Asides from the crazy shit that's going on in Europe whilst the masses are so focused on the world cup that they're barely noticing it. Russia is stopping its delivery of gas to the Ukraine, but that news is drowning in a tsunami of world cup frenzy that has taken hold of every major news station in the country it appears. But well, that's their problem. It is possible to stay informed and those who fail to do so can put the blame entirely on themselves. Not that this tangent has anything to do with the actual topic, I am just filling the time I need to come up with just that. And it's working. To some extent.

I think I will discuss the frightening way in which we're slowly moving towards total governmental control of the masses. Which is not a new topic by any means, I've gone down at least parts of that road in earlier posts, but what's been going on lately on this piece-of-shit of a planet is really angst-inducing to say the least. I mean, we've had the NSA-scandal. But has that really spawned any actual laws restricting this institution or have any actual punishments been laid on those responsible for invading every single fucking citizens privacy? Nope. And it goes on. Snowden is up for prosecution by the U.S.-government whose very foundation he was trying to preserve by exposing the fucked up spying methods of these primates with way too much power in their paw-like hands; the NSA has secret surveillance bunkers in Central Europe; and the German constitutional court has been working together with these spies in order to gather private data on German politicians and the German people themselves. And as if that was not bad enough, that very same court has declared that it is of "vital importance" to further develop methods to listen in on any kind of electronic communication because the internet is considered an "uncontrollable hub of political extremeism" and so-called "cyber-terrorism". These fears obviously rightly justify the invasion of millions of peoples' privacy. Right. 
But it doesn't stop at that. The NSA has been working on a quantum-based PC that will allegedly be able to crack any kind of encryption. So as soon as this project is completed, you can encrypt and secure your messages and data as much as you want - the US will be able to crack the code and read your mail - even if you're just writing your Aunt that her cupcakes were "the bomb". Oh and that Facebook etc. are using user data quite liberally is no secret or surprise to anyone anymore. We're essentially constantly being monitored and watched. This is Big Brother on a global scale. Or much rather, it is the slow realization of what Orwell's 1984 had predicted a long time ago. We've reached 1984. We're already past it actually. Not only is our physical motion being tracked, our thoughts and beliefs are also checked against a government-issue blueprint and if you don't fit, you're disposed of. "Fixed" or "rehabilitated" as they like to call it. But it's actually a systematic disposal and/or brainwashing of those opposed to the state of total submission to the government that those in power are striving to achieve within the population. Doesn't this sound familiar? Total acceptance of the system of those in power, only selective access to information, and government-standardized conformity? Sounds like a bad mixture of 1984 and Huxley's Brave New World. And indeed, it also sounds familiar because I've approached this, or an at least similar aspect ultimately resulting in this topic in earlier posts. But apparently just writing about it doesn't help. The people in power will constantly change, but in the end it all comes down to the same exact mess that is being laid upon us by some corporate puppets. And the puppeteers are the same as always, the usual suspects: huge-ass industries, banks, and oil-sheiks. They're the ones controlling the worlds most important resources, they're funding the worlds governments, and they're therefore also controlling them. This is not some lunatic bullshit like the Illuminati-fad that has swept the nation after the Dan Brown novels were released, but much rather just a careful conclusion made from a few years of watching, listening, and reading. If you have half a brain and a semi-functional mind you'll be able to piece it together yourself. Most politicians are actually part of supervisory or administrative boards of major industrial and financial players, so their decisions are obviously biased towards what's favorable for aforementioned firms. And that alone should be fucking illegal if you ask me. But well, as always, money will prevail. And prevailed it has. Iraq/Contra; Iraq/Syria; Osama Bin Ladens weapons; Richard Nixon; all fraudulent, dangerous, and/or criminal activities that all only happened because of money's evil fucking influence on peoples' minds, behaviors, and decisions. And the list goes on and on, I am just citing some examples that have recently caught my attention, most of them in the works of Hunter S. Thompson. 
But what do we conclude from this mess that the world's offering us? How do we go on knowing that some control-hungry motherfucker is constantly watching our moves, evaluating our thoughts? Well. Personally I have always found solace in the fact that albeit being able to monitor my thoughts, they still lack the ability to actually control them. They might be able to direct them by printing falsified news stories etc., but if your frontal lobe capacity exceeds that of a common single-cell organism you'll be able to find out what's actually going on by doing just a little bit of research. And well, if your privacy is important to you, you know the obvious steps: don't log into Facebook when you're on the move, turn off your GPS and mobile networks, and simply don't use any form of internet-based communication when you're doing something you don't want people finding out about. Further, encrypt your data as long as it still makes sense to do so, and delete metadata of pictures that you don't want to be traced back to the place of their taking.
But I am not here to lecture you on online safety. You should know these things yourself. And this tangent seems somewhat off-topic in retrospect anyway.
No, the actual conclusion, besides finding solace in the fact that you're still in charge of your own thoughts, are that we need to defy the fucking system that creates this somber 1984 control we're being subjected to. How the fuck can governments be claiming to be acting in the interest of their people when they're the only ones their people need to be afraid of nowadays? I mean, let's look at my favorite example: the prohibition of psychoactive substances. Drug users need not fear the possible side-effects of the recreational enhancement they're taking part in, but only the repressive governmental organs trying to put them into a confined space with rapists, murderers, and all other kinds of sick fucked-up people. If the government truly cared about the people, they'd legalize and regulate those substances, and put more effort into preventative actions. But no, that would be "immoral". Funny, that the people making the most depraved and morally-bankrupt decisions on this planet are the ones telling us we can't smoke a joint because it is morally wrong? What the fuck? Politicians are willingly deceiving us for money and power, are engaging in war with countries that did not call for it purely out of monetary and influential reasons, and then have the fucking nerve to call drug users criminals? For fuck's sake, in what kind of a fucked-up nightmare are we living anyway? I mean I understand the basic human need for happiness. And as long as the human is kept in blissful ignorance, an emotional state resembling just that is achieved. Add the exploitation of the natural fear for hunger and loss of shelter to that, and you've got the explanation for peoples' blind acceptance of their leaders' fascist methods. We don't want the truth, because we like our comfort zone to remain just that. Comfortable, cozy, and not disturbed by any nuisances such as a fight for freedom. We've got what we need: Food, shelter, entertainment. Why ask for more? Why bother trying to be actually free when just serving the mans will is much easier? Well. If you really need me to answer these questions for you, the system has already won and you're hopelessly caught in the grip of their manipulative, controlling network. Still, there's need for a general wake-up call when it comes to our society. Because the dystopian realms of V For Vendetta, Brave New World, and 1984 are slowly moving into a sphere that is getting too close to reality for my taste. We are already slaves to an economic wheel that grinds us down to ever-competing clones, we are slaves to our watches, and helpless in the face of industrial giants controlling the government that we're supposed to be in charge of. So why is nothing happening? What final spark is needed to set off the ticking time bomb that we're supposed to be? "The people shouldn't be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people" as fictional character V so nicely put it. And that statement holds so much truth that has just been lost in our days. We are supposed to be the ones electing and controlling the politicians, they're supposed to be acting at our bidding, and not the other way round. But we can elect whoever the fuck we want nowadays, they'll still move the political landscape in the same direction. And this powerlessness only stems from an overall apathy that has taken hold of mankind. We're not empowered individuals. We're fucking clones working in a mechanical system serving a purpose whose existence we're not even aware of. So please, somebody, anybody just wake me up and tell me I've fallen asleep whilst watching a dystopian movie of sorts. And although I know that that's not going to happen, and that some major shit will have to go down before anything changes, I also realize that I cannot offer a feasible solution to any of these issues. I am after all just some guy in some apartment typing words on a broken laptop, watching Lucky Number Slevin on national TV. A nice movie by the way. But of no concern for this topic...

Anyway. The essential message I am trying to convey here is that we're moving closer and closer to being completely controlled and supervised by governments gone rogue. And that we'll need some sort of major happening before any of that changes. Not meaning that I want you to start attacking government officials and buildings, but rather something like forming a party and working the system to destroy or at least properly reform it from the inside-out. Or at least do something for Fuck's sake!

But it's getting late, and I am getting tired. Plus I am once again not really feeling... well per se. Which is due to some recent turmoil that has once again been throwing me off track lately. Yes, as mentioned in the very first sentences, social intertwining is turning ugly on me once again. Or at least I think so, I am actually simply baffled by some of the things I have been exposed to lately, starting with being ignored leading to being barely contacted then to myself ignoring which did not affect the other party in the least bit. And now everything seems to have reset itself, and all is supposedly right again. Or is it? Am I just mindlessly perpetuating a status quo because I feel that that is the way it should be? Or am I actual still part in a viable symbiosis that enriches both parts within it? And that that is something I actually have to ask myself pretty much says it all, doesn't it? Although I cannot for the life of me imagine that that's the case. I don't want this ship to sink again in order to restart at haven once again like it has a couple of times now already. On the other hand I don't want it to crash and go down forever like the Titanic did either. So I find myself, as usually, at an impasse. Too fucking bad. I am just going to go on and see where this path leads me, I am too exhausted emotionally to keep digging into what I believe to be seeing in this context. If shit happens, I'll notice when it does, no need to have an inner shit-alarm going off at the slightest of farts, to keep that metaphor alive. So I am once again choosing the path of least resistance, like electricity would. Trust me though, in this intertwining this is the best way to go. Things tend to sort themselves out, and albeit knowing this to be untrue in most aspects of life, in this particular case it most definitely is. 
So, I am just going to wait for the banshees to cry for my relationship, and if there's enjoyable time left until that I am looking forward to it, and if not, well, that's just life. As fucking cliche as that fucking phrase is.

But fuck all that. My vocabulary is starting to recede to only swearwords, my eyes are getting heavy, and my thoughts are starting to slowly drift off into a comfortable lull of nothingness... So I hope I managed to open some eyes with this Food For Thought, which I know slightly differed in style when compared to the others. But I kept to the normal underlying concept that has always been present in these entries. And well, I hope I approached these topics, well-known from earlier entries, in an angle that was different enough as to not bore but rather entertain and educate you.

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—for ever.” - George Orwell, 1984

So, this concludes this Food For Thought which was not overly long but of adequate length I suppose. As expressed above I hope I was still able to entertain you and appeal to your reading aesthetics.
And as always, I'll leave you with some good music: 

Bob Dylan - The Time They Are A Changin' 
-> I chose this version on YouTube for a reason. Because asides from simply being a really cool and nicely melodic song, it also holds some great truths that are also being conveyed in the movie Watchmen which was based on a comic by Alan Moore, the same guy who brought us the original comic for V For Vendetta. And the movies made from these comics are almost equally political and controversial, meaning that if you haven't seen or read either of them, go do so now, and... Enjoy!

Norman Greenbaum - Spirit In The Sky 
-> Well, this gem right here was played at Hunter S. Thompson's funeral, which is pretty damn awesome to say the least. And besides that, the song in itself is really awesome, makes me feel like riding a motorcycle at high speed whilst high on speed down some lonely-ass motorway in the American countryside... Never done that before, but that feels like the kind of song to do it to, so... Enjoy!

Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa - Young, Wild & Free 
-> Blablabla, mainstream, too often heard, blablablabla, save it! This right here is the first Weed song that has been nominated for a fucking Grammy award. And that is a huge fucking accomplishment if you ask me. Besides from that, I frigging love Snoop, and also enjoy Wiz Khalifa's work, so this by now classic tune needed featuring on here, and well the timeless carpe diem message it delivers obviously speaks to me, so... Enjoy!

Jay-Z - 99 Problems 
-> If you're reading from Germany, this song (like some others in previous posts) will not be accessible to you due to some fucked up people with no life working for a bloodsucking parasite called "GEMA". Well, fuck them I say. "unblockyoutube.ws" (Have Adblock installed before accessing this page!!). And you're good to go. Besides that, I cannot believe I have not had this song on here before, and well - it's a classic tune full of humorous lines, with a political nudge here and there, and an awesome catchy pre-hook line: "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"... Enjoy!

Secoya - Run 
-> "Old but gold" seems to be UKF's policy for its latest uploads, but I like it! Epically vocalized track with awesome drops and nice melodic goodness in it! I love this synthesized voice combining with electronic melodies leading to drops of epic proportions, and UKF is a constant source of just that! Awesome upload by them, great artist, great track, great everything basically! Just an awesome tune, so... Enjoy!

Eptic - Space Cats
-> Once again UKF does not fail to fucking amaze me! This song is so fucking filthy and awesome, I can barely find the words to describe it. An interesting melody, coupled with a hard-hitting bass that is playing Frisbee with the remains of my burned-off ears... Just grand, grand music, from a great artist, uploaded by the greatest channel for Dubstep music on the web! I am getting this tingling sensation in my stomach when I listen to this, which means that I am going to listen to this so much that I can't stand hearing it anymore... Enjoy!

Well, this turned out to be rather jumpy, erratic and shallow for a Food For Thought segment, but well I do hope it still holds some value for you and did not bore you to death. I am just happy I managed to finish this thing now, and would once again like to extend my apologies to you guys for taking eleven days to actually post again... But well, seeing as my internet at home is back up, I might get around to posting more regularly in the near future! 
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this FFT and are a little smarter because of it, or were at least enticed to rethink a couple of things, you know the deal...


Peace!

I could essentially

start this post with the same exact title as the previous one. "Why, oh why". But this time it would go on with something like "can I not keep myself from my own emotions?". Which is something I am really asking myself lately. Bear my last post in mind. Social intertwining is ultimately doomed and therefore engaging in such can be considered stupid, mad even. That was the conclusion; the end of all hope. 

“Can’t repeat the past?…Why of course you can!” 

                  - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

And now fate, or whatever, has decided to jolt my transfixed bad mood upwards, and give me back what sucked the life clean out of me whilst it was gone. Ironically enough, this has, as the avid reader may have noticed, happened twice already, which had proven my long ago reached conclusion about the senselessness of such intertwining completely. But I can not for the life of me escape those sweet endorphins that dead-bolt rose-tainted glasses onto my eyes. Isn't it ironic that I had forsaken these very emotions already, dismissing them as idle brain-farts always leading to the same painful end? And aren't they? I mean, I should probably quote Mrs. Rita Mae Brown before going any further: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.". Which is exactly what's happening here, or am I wrong? The ultimate doom I was mentioning has not disappeared, but simply drifted out of focus due to aforementioned endorphin-highs that are more addicting than the most potent crack/heroin mixture any drug-peddling half-mad chemist in some Czech laboratory could come up with. But I'm getting off-topic here. 
What I was discussing was the essential underlying insanity in the action of just trying to jump into the same old relationship Phoenix-style. I am not saying it is a bad thing per se, quite the contrary actually. My feelings towards it are as magnificent as one might imagine them being after the past two weeks of feeling like shit. Still I cannot shake off that lingering voice in the back of my head that is screaming "Dysfunctional! Insane! Just plain damn weird!". But then again, "when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" (HST), so maybe that's what we're doing? Just taking all the weirdness surrounding us and bringing it to a whole new level? I like to think so actually. Who needs the conforming, normal people acting like they should, even or especially when socially intertwined by the four-letter word that means everything and nothing? I am and always have been a fan of more radical approaches to mundane things anyway, so why bother trying to act as others do in that aspect? So I am, as you could have expected not going to do that. 
But I avoided the question that has been present ever since I introduced my mood swing that has happened because I engaged in a symbiosis that I had doomed and damned just a week ago. This question is if I was wrong with my ranting about the ultimate doom that faces each and every coupling. Unfortunately, no. That remains an omnipresent reality of life. But I may have been wrong about the utter senselessness of engaging in such intertwining. Because despite all evidence to the contrary that presented its ugly face once that uplifting relieving of lonliness was gone, I am happy once again, which is something almost two decades of living have taught me to cherish as long as it lasts - however long that may be. And seeing as aforementioned togetherness increases such moments considerably,the down that eventually comes might actually be worth the up that precedes it. 

"Buy the ticket, take the ride!" as my favorite author would say. And I've bought the ticket a few months ago and the ride is apparently far from over albeit having stopped for an unbearable while. So, I'll ride this ride until the bitter-sweet end that I've discussed in the last post. Which is a beautiful feeling actually. Fuck, I'm alive and I'm fucking loving it! I can not say how long this euphoria will last but as long as it remains I will enjoy it.

Anyway. I have to say that vis-à-vis the shit that's going down in the world, my happiness might be misplaced. But fuck the world. As you know I've long ago established that this entire imaginary construct we call society will collapse under its own dumb mass of braindead parasites. They will drown in the foam of their own filth, sex, and murder, to loosely quote Rorschach from "Watchmen". Mind the "loosely" though, I was too lazy to actually google the exact wording. I have not ever wanted any part in the depraved obscenities that are generally accepted as "social behavior" nowadays, which is also the reason for my general incompatibility when it comes to relationships. But if we take the element of the expected norms out of it and elevate the weird to a professional level... Well, at that point the whole picture changes, and being incompatible in the regular and socially-accepted way is no longer of any importance. Which is hopefully a status that I can fully achieve rather soon. I'm on my way but not quite there yet I feel, which also explains the fall-outs mentioned earlier. But enough of that. The essence of what I am trying to convey here is that if opting out of any social conformity is what you're aiming for, there's no reason why there shouldn't be a special somebody joining you in just that. That is what I actually realized due to this on-off thing that's been going on in my life for a few months now. Whether or not this realization holds any kind of value is another question. I mean, I could actually use a matrix allegory here: Some people within the matrix are simply not yet ready to be freed and will use all their might and cunning to perpetuate the status quo. Just like in real life, some people may simply not be ready to opt out of societal norms and therefore try with all their power to stay within. But then along comes a person defying the very system these people are sworn to protect, and an emotional bond is established. That's when things get complicated. Because someone immersed in the system and someone trying to avoid being just that cannot usually co-exist for a long time without serious quarrel. But an emotional bond may be too strong to actually stay away from each other, leaving both parties at an impasse. Or rather at what seems like an impasse. The inevitability of doom is present in any emotional connection but in the one just described it is actually being postponed quite a bit in comparison to a coupling where both partners are either opted in or out of society's relentless grip. The reason for this is that small fractions of the ultimate doom are shattered on the long road towards it of an essentially incompatible couple, meaning that small pieces of the bitter end are being taken away up front so to say, leading to an overall longer-lasting journey. If that even makes any sense. But I believe it does. Or at least I hope so. But fuck if I know. In these highly emotional contexts one can never be entirely sure of any utterance, as proven by the disparity that can be found between this and the previous post. Emotions are highly fucking unpredictable to say the least. Which is on one side, as many may argue, what makes them so unique and special and unicorns and rainbows, but on the other side, my side, it is exactly that what's so fucking annoying about them. If I could just keep those fuckers at bay I'd be so happy. It's not that I don't enjoy being jolted around by endorphin-induced euphoria followed by soul-crushing depression, and then being jolted upwards again. But I'd much rather have some sort of control over the entire process. Not in the sense that I want to be able to choose who I fall for or anything like that, but much rather in the sense of being able to control the degree of madness that comes down on one as soon as aforementioned "fall" has occurred. It's incredible the way grown-up people let their emotional sides get the best of them as soon as it comes down to the notorious four-letter word. And that is the kind of behavior that I would like to be able to suppress when I say that I would like to have full control over my feelings. But this tangent about the control of emotions appeared here quite randomly out of nowhere. 
In the end "errare humanum est, sed perseverare diabolicum", so if I was wrong with the assumption about my utter incompatibility for social intertwining and the senselessness thereof, at least I was "wise" enough not to persist in it, and therefore also not diabolical. I might also be persisting in an erroneous coupling though, but in that case I have to say that being diabolical doesn't seem as bad, but rather good actually. Or Seneca was only partially right, but I doubt that. So I am either persisting in my fallacious assumption and thereby slowly morphing from human to he-devil, or I was wrong with my initial assumption from my last post and am now being human by admitting just that. Either way, I have already been or will be proven wrong. Which is simply part of life and nothing to be ashamed of in my humble opinion. Not many a soul thinks like that though, being wrong seems like the ultimate sin nowadays, which is quite simply put idiotic. If we didn't err and therefore stumble at all, we'd never learn how to accept that and get back on our feet, and lacking that kind of experience would quickly transform the human race into a bunch of whiny little pricks. Not that we're much better now, mind you. But at least there are still a lot of people who know how to deal with defeat and fallacious reasoning in a decent, civil kind of way. Which would essentially just be to accept it, get back up, and then move on. But too many idiots are too stubborn and far too set in their own opinion of themselves to actually accept that they were wrong. And these fucking retards then use all of their might to try and prove that they have been right after all, even if that means doing a whole bunch of hurtful, depraved, and downright immoral bullshit. Just because it is too fucking embarrassing for them to admit an erroneous decision and learn from that mistake. No, they've got to be right from the very start, and cannot see that that's just fucking impossible. But well, to each his own I guess, and I've learned to recognize and avoid these parasitic parodies of human beings anyway. Plus I am usually more than able to actually make them see the fallacy of their ways in a rather brutally honest way, making my encounters with these... people... a rather fun experience for me, and a soul-crushing disastrous realization for them. So a win-win situation in the greater context. 

But fuck all that. Some, or actually most come to think of it, of them will never change anyhow. And well, that's essentially just to way life is, in some ways there will always be a few things that one just needs to cope with, as mentioned in my previous post. And that is what makes life so fucking enthralling on one, but also so fucking devastating on the other hand. 
I am getting tired though, so I'll just cut the post off here, and leave you guys be with some good music, as always:

KillaGraham - Clowns
-> I am getting a hard-on just listening to this amazing bit of pure filth! I have always loved the UKF Dubstep Channel, and despite a slight drop in quality in the latest uploads, this epic piece of music is definitely one of the gems on there. Great melody, surprising but awesome drop, and an overall feeling of pure greatness, making this tune fucking awesome, so... Enjoy!

Knife Party - Centipede 
-> Knife Party never disappoints, and this song proves just that... Greatly chosen introductory vocals, followed by a drop of epic proportions with a bass that slaps you through the room, opens your cranium and then forces your soulless body to play football with your brain! Mind-boggling stuff, great artist, and once again found on the best channel for electronic music on YouTube, so... Enjoy!

Flatbush Zombies - Thug Waffle
-> Okay let me start by saying that this not the style of HipHop I usually enjoy, but this song is just so fucking awesome and talking about mankind's favorite plant, meaning that I had to put it on here, and the hook is about the best I've heard in a recent release for quite some time... "Fuck the police though, we smoking like it's legal!"... Enjoy!

Method Man - Uh Huh
-> Let's get back to some classic rap, here is maybe the ill-est MC alive, with a fucking awesome track, a funky-ass beat, and well Method Man's incredible flow and lyrics! Method Man has been around for such a long time, rolling with the Clan way back then, and has since then established himself as one of the very greatest rappers in history, and this tune just proves that this is where he belongs, so... Enjoy!

Metallica - For Whom The Bell Tolls
-> Although I did check to see whether or not I've already posted this one here and did not see it anywhere, I cannot shake the feeling that I had already featured this track... But anyway, great song used in one of the funniest Zombie movies since Shaun of the dead, and well it has been around for ages just like Metallica themselves, making this tune an absolute classic that definitely needs to be here, so... Enjoy!

Machine Head - Halo
-> I've always rather enjoyed Machine Head, they exude this raw energy within their music that is so often lost in today's music, and their riffs and melodic parts are equally amazing. Although I have to say that I was never a fan of switching between a sort-of growling and clean vocals, but in this case it actually works quite well. Plus the video is fucking awesome too, so... Enjoy!

Well, this turned out to be a rather positive post albeit touching on some difficult issues. But seeing as my mood has really gone up again it wasn't all too hard to stay out of narcissistic self-despair and -loathing for once and deliver something at least remotely optimistic. So, I hope you enjoyed my newest ramblings and were not all too annoyed by the fact that I essentially contradicted myself vis-à-vis my previous post.


Peace!

Why, oh why

can't I just stick to a fucking deadline? Well in the case of this post I have to say that I was so extremely busy with renovating and moving into my new flat that I literally did not even have the time to sit down and open my laptop the last week, making writing a post on an online platform such as Blogger quite impossible to do. Especially when carrying a cupboard up to the fourth floor. Which is the only real disadvantage that this move brings with itself. Otherwise the place is bigger, cheaper, and even closer to the train-station than my last flat, meaning that I can now sleep longer in the morning which suits my lazy lifestyle quite well. Plus we don't really have neighbors yet due to the fact that we were the first to rent an apartment in this house after it had been renovated, which means that we can essentially turn our music all the way up at any given time of day for the time being. Not that we're actually taking advantage of that fact though - I just fall into bed at night exhausted and fully drained of any energy by the carrying, painting, arranging, etc., meaning that I would be the main counter-force to any form of high-volume audio disturbance in the evening. Hm. Being physically active all day every day is really something I am not even remotely used to to be honest, and I can not for the life of me figure out how some people can say they enjoy that. At the end of the day I am literally dragging myself up the stairs, panting and sweating like a pig, unable to draw any oxygen from the air I am breathing and therefore on the brink of collapse. Which is also obviously because of my lifestyle, but physical activity is not helping in the least. I should probably go and see a doctor at some point, but well I figure that if my body withstood what I put it through so far it will be able to handle what's going to come as well. At least that's what I like to think. But I am getting off track as always, my original topic was my inability to stick to deadlines, but I think I've kind of exhausted that topic earlier already. I mean you know me well enough by now to realize that the rigidity of deadlines and regulations simply does not fit my personality. At all. But yeah, deadlines are useful and needed every now and then, so I am setting some for myself and albeit not even slightly adhering to them I am feeling a little guilty by doing so, especially since I enjoy writing these posts and entertaining you guys and gals. And for good or worse I will continue trying to stick to my own deadlines when it comes to doing so. Well. These words sound all well and nice, but the fact of the matter unfortunately is that I am already a week behind my regular posting time and not even close to having finished or even thought of a topic for this entry. Although I do have very good and very real reasons for it this time, seeing as as much as I would like to I cannot put real life on hold in order to go about writing, or "blogging" as this medium is commonly referred to. 

I have never actually seen myself as a 'blogger' per se. I mean actual bloggers do research, prepare their posts and have schemes and strategies to attract new readers; these people have a well thought-out concept for their blogs. Whereas I only have a non-customized Google template and my ramblings to rely on. Come to think of it, I would much rather define myself as a voice of common sense lurking in the backlands of the internet, patiently waiting for the day that common sense is actually common again. Or as a psychotic wanna-be writer pandering to an equally psychotic audience that in reality is only a product of my deranged imagination. Or something somewhere in the middle of both. It actually doesn't matter, does it? Whatever I define my babbling here to be, there will be another, contradictory and probably better definition out there, so why bother? Plus I am not a big fan of categorizing art anyway. For me it somewhat defies the feelig of freedom and personal expression that all forms of art elicit to try and put labels on it. Takes away the essence. Imagine you're buying a novel, and it says "crime story" on it - you instantly have a certain image floating in your head, a certain expectation towards the book; your focus is turned to the "crime" elements of the story. The same exact manuscript could in all likelihood also be sold as a Thriller, an adventure story, or in extreme cases even as a love story. And you'd be focusing on entirely different aspects of the exact same thing, never realizing the core of what the artist was trying to convey. Furthermore these labels have a somber 1984-feeling to them, but that's probably just my paranoia that comes with almost two days of sleeplessness. Still. Ultimate control of the minds is what all forms of art seem to be geared to lately. I know that I have touched on this very topic in the last post already, but art, especially music, used to fucking mean something and was not just a publicity tool for big corporations like it is today. But well, this all sounds like the deluded thoughts of a mad man. 
Which can of course be attributed to the lack of sleep I mentioned earlier, but seeing as that is entirely my fault I can not really complain about that. Plus I have gotten sleep by now and am sitting in a Coffeeshop with my laptop because I do not have internet in my new flat yet, quite simply because my fucking provider decided that it needs three weeks and thirty euros to do so, thereby actually forcing me to sit and write publicly, which just seems like a pathetic cry for attention to me, but seeing as I have no choice I'll just have to live with that.

There are quite a number of things that one just has to live/cope with in life. I've noticed that again quite recently. I do not have the ability to "correctly" handle certain highly emotional social intertwining that is often encountered in ones lifetime, and should therefore not engage in such. Which is something I actually found out a moderately long time ago, but for some reason felt that I had to put it to test again a few months ago. That of course resulted in the usual up-and-down which ultimately ended in a crash, like a roller-coaster ride in Final Destination. And whilst it is sad, devastating even, time has taught me to not wallow in these feelings, and rather just stick to first numbing and then forgetting. Which helps. Plus I have got people that I can talk to. And well, this blog right here. And for whatever reason my non-compatibility for relationships seems to be as much a part of me as my desire to write. Although I could not write for quite some time as you have noticed, I am still eager to do so and full of ramblings that need unleashing. But isn't it weird? I can cope with so many social situations and forms of emotional stress, but as soon as I become involved on a deeper emotional level this ability suddenly disappears and I am left as a shell of myself, unable to handle anything. For this very reason I have decided to once again opt out of the whole thing, this social binding that ends up the same way over and over again. Any form of it is ultimately doomed, or at least put to dire tests that most do not recover from. I know that I am being a cynical asshole. But there is an underlying truth in this statement that simply can not be ignored. "'till death do us part" - laughable in 90% of the cases. And even on a less "serious" level. It may be the "perfect couple", it may have lasted for what seems like forever, but in the end it's like flowers - it rots, decays, withers, and dies. Not a pretty outlook on life I know. Of course one may argue that that time passed before things perish is worth so much that entering into such an intertwining albeit knowing of its ultimate doom is still a favorable decision. But I'm not buying it anymore. I have seen these constructs crumble far too often as to believe in the fairy-tale ending that most people spend their entire life searching for. And well, as Hunter S. Thompson already said it perfectly, this search might end up in us not being lonely anymore, but we are ultimately and inevitably alone. So we better make damn sure to like ourselves because that's all we'll be left with in the end. I am drifting off-topic here though, the whole loneliness thing has already been discussed. My actual point is that no matter what we're being told by society and TV-soaps, the hard truth still remains: It all goes to shit at some point. Trust me it does. It might take days, months, years, centuries, or even a lifetime, but it will turn to complete shit and leave a hurtful mark somewhere, be it physically or psychologically. So why bother? Because we might reach a nice endorphin-high for a while before the chemical make-up of our brain manages to readjust itself? Because someone might be the illustrious "one"? Because we still desperately cling to the illusion of maybe not ending up alone? I don't fucking know, and it doesn't make any sense to me anymore. I mean, I know the sweet sweet feeling of finding a significant other and intertwining your life with that persons, and how intoxicating the entire process of "love" can be, trust me I do. But there are ways to resist that, there are ways to turn this nagging little voice inside us that keeps trying to get us hurt off. And I had managed to do so for quite a while actually, but well, I am just lacking years of experience. So I fell for the whole Disney-created bullshit once again rather recently. And it turned to shit, obviously. Which proves my point quite nicely in a rather twisted way. I mean it's not like I was ever planning on things going bad, but that's just the way life fucking is, and I have by now honestly gotten used to it. I have long ago accepted that I will not ever find true happiness in that particular area actually. Meaning that I probably should not have let some chemicals that went rogue in my brain trick me into believing that maybe I was actually just a cynical asshole wallowing in what he perceives the world to be, and not just a cynical asshole realizing how things go down on this little planet we call "Earth". Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Fuck all that. I am not going to do one of these posts examining my actions in retrospect and realizing how much better I could have done things. I know that already, no need to remind myself of it. Plus, believe it or not, there is actually a limit to the amount of information I am willing to disclose on here. This is still a public platform and I am not even pseudonymous, every human being with half a brain can figure out my real name, age, and town of residence by following a couple of links on this page. Which does not mean that I am somehow holding back when it comes to my opinion on things. I am just making sure that any real people involved in my life are kept out of here or at least obscured as much as possible, simply out of respect for these peoples' privacy. And well, there might always be certain types of persons within my audience that know me personally and do not necessarily need to know everything about me, meaning that I do put a certain filter, not content-, but formulation-wise on the things I post on here. 
But nevertheless I am unable to get my mood to go up again since I have once again been proven right, and it's fucking annoying. Things are really going down lately. I mean asides from me ending up alone as usually. There's fights all around, people are ending friendships because of money and women, and I am simply caught in the middle like Malcolm, not wanting to partake in any of these stupid stressful quarrels. I have really got my own shit to worry about. I mean, would it actually come to a physical altercation I'd of course help out as much as my tar-filled black lungs and utter lack of sport would allow me to, but as long as people are just shouting at each other and sending angry SMS like fucking teenagers, I am not going to get involved in the slightest. Luckily enough, I have never been acting in a way that would provoke any aberrant behavior towards me, so I have the luxury of actually not having to take sides or any part in any of it. I am not saying that others have actually provoked anything, not at all actually. But well. If you show a certain form of, not disrespect per se, but rather a very brutal honesty when handling downright stupid and highly emotional people, you are taking a certain risk of having set in motion a chain-reaction that at some point leads to an angry dispute. I have always maintained a much more diplomatic and considerate approach, and did therefore not land in a spot where confrontation is inevitable, which in retrospect makes me quite happy. Not that this makes my situation any better or elevates my mood in any way, but I can at least find solace in the fact that when I hear shouting and pissed-off voices, it won't be of any concern to me. Still, the root of the entire thing is actually so easily solvable that it heavily bothers me that this is getting to a degree where no-one is even considering ever talking to the other person ever again. But I am really not in the mood nor do I have the emotional stability right now to get involved, so I'm just hoping that they'll manage to resolve matters on their own. Or at least reach a stage of passive co-existence. Whatever suits them best, I couldn't give less of a fuck to be honest. 

But anyway, this topic is wearing me out by just writing about it, so I'll put a stop to it at this point. Looking up from my screen I see people enjoying the Coffeeshop as much as I would had I brought money. I am broke as a joke once again, and will need to ask a friend of mine to borrow me some cash, which is really annoying especially considering what's happening between other friends of mine because of essentially the same thing. Notwithstanding, I need to have some sort of financial liquidity until the month has the decency to finally end and stop his torturing grip on my wallet. Moving is expensive as fuck I tell you! It was worth it though, I needed to get the fuck away from my former landlords, I fucking hated these people and their affiliates. So all in all, despite having financially murdered me, I am really enjoying my first month in my new flat. Which I know is of no real interest to most of you, but I am really too exhausted from the weekend still to actually get into any more interesting topic right now. I was awake for three days in a row, and have so far only caught up on like 12 hours of sleep in the past two days, so I am still a tad disgruntled and grumpy, not feeling up to par yet. Which is entirely my own fault obviously. Nevertheless I feel like I've spent the night in a dumpster behind an abortion clinic of the early 30's. Quite disgusting to say the least. But well, I'll be fine again by tomorrow. One day at a time. 

So, after having needed an entire month to actually complete this thing, I have to apologize once again, and as soon as my internet has been installed I will go back to posting almost-weekly as I have done so far. I hope this rather cynical and depressive post was still enjoyable to you, and hopefully opened your eyes on some issues. Or at least made you think about things, as always.
And also as always, you will be left with some good music...

Eminem - Drug Ballad 
-> Awesome song that funnily describes the way drugs and people enjoying them interact whilst also showing that many things are exaggerated, and well amazingly delivered by Eminem as always. And although it is not really pro-drugs it sill has this nice fucked-up-up-junkie feeling to it that Eminem so perfectly created in many of his older songs. So all in all, great song, great lyrics, great artist... Enjoy!

Nate Dogg & Warren G feat. The Game - Party We Will Throw  
-> Classic track that is simply awesome, legendary artists on a funky beat that just elicits this timeless west-coast feeling that is somehow lost in most of today's music... We really need a revival of the G-Funk by the way, but that's not the point here. No the point is that this is an amazing classic tune that you should definitely know, and well... Enjoy!

The Fugees - Killing Me Softly With His Song 
-> Here goes yet another classic song that definitely needed featuring on here, Fugees are awesome anyway and Lauryn Hill has an amazing voice that really shines on this track, and well the HipHop drums in the background do give the whole song a nice alternate feeling to the original version without even slightly destroying its beauty, so... Enjoy!

Flux Pavilion & Dillon Francis - I'm The One 
-> So this is what happens when you put two amazing artists on acid in a room and tell them to create a song and video... Cats that are accessing a sort of parallel world... Wow... The song in itself is quite good too, and well this out-of-worldly video puts the icing on the cake so to say, although it did kind of freak me out in an altered state of mind, but anyway... Enjoy!

LaRoux - In For The Kill (Skreams Let's Get Ravey Remix) 
-> I'm not sure if I haven't posted this on here before but am too lazy to check right now to be honest, so I'll just hope I didn't or that nobody remembers if I did. Anyway, great remix by one of the earliest Dubstep artists in existence, and well this tune is just fucking epic, so... Enjoy!

Ey heb die Beine an - Jumpstyle 
-> First off you will notice that I just copied the YouTube-videos name here. This is because I have no idea what artist produced this song or what the songs name actually is. All I know is that a friend introduced me to this a couple of weeks ago and although I am not usually all too fond of this kind of electronic music, I have to say that this song is fucking great, cool lyrics ("hey get your legs up, so that we can jump, as far as Amsterdam, if not now then when?" -> for all non-German readers, no need to thank me), and a nice melody, so... Enjoy!

AC/DC - Hells Bells 
-> Fucking awesome song! That's almost all I have to say to it actually, you all know the score, AC/DC are a fucking legend and this song is also really great, so... Enjoy!

Korpiklaani - Beer Beer
-> Back in my heavy drinking and metal phase I used to love getting utterly wasted to this song, and although I don't do that as often anymore I still enjoy listening to this song for old time's sake and of course because it is pretty awesome and has a great melody to it, so... Enjoy!

Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
-> 'nuff said. Rest In Peace Freddie Mercury!

So, this turned out to be a long, erratic, depressive and cynical post that took a month to actually be posted online, which was for one due to force majeure, and secondly to my emotional turmoil at the time. But I hope I managed to create something nevertheless enjoyable to you, and will definitely be posting more regularly as soon as I have an internet access again. 

Peace!
 

I can't dance

or sing for that matter. That is what I just realized whilst sitting here in Statistics class and internally whistling the Scissor Sisters song. It's not something that bothers me or anything, I have always had a strong stance against the social convention of dressing up prettily and moving to the tact of classical music with a partner. Which is something that people do not seem to understand, but I personally have always seen dancing as an act of ultimate conformity to an ancient, obsolete system and equally dated values. And fuck me if I am going to do that, I have not ever been convinced by anyone to do so, and whilst some may see it differently, I treat that as an accomplishment. A pretty huge one actually, given the pressure multiple parties put me under when graduation day approached. But like a rock in the surge I remained resilient against any and all tries to get me to "finally" learn how to dance. Fucking hell, those people were annoying. Like my memory of that day would have been enhanced by the knowledge that I moved around to stupid-ass music like a fucking clone. It would actually have been worsened by it, which is why I stayed strong, and, in spite of all pleas and offers, did not join in when "all the graduates" were asked to "come down to the floor", but rather stayed in the back with a good friend of mine enjoying my beer, my decision, and my life in general. It was a good night. And the faces of pure confusion and anger on my classmates' faces when they realized that I was actually being serious was fucking priceless to say the least. Just remembering that evening actually causes a big grin to appear on my face, and isn't that what really counts? That I can personally look back at my graduation party and know that I enjoyed myself there. Even if doing so meant that I had to piss off quite a lot of people. 

But well, it's not like I have ever cared about them or their opinions. And that's not only referring to my former classmates, some of which were actually alright, but rather to mankind altogether. "I just don't give a fuck.", as Eminem so fittingly put it. Which applies to me in a lot of ways. I simply do not care about so many things. That is a kind of behavior that has been prevalent throughout my existence, but always in different forms. I have not given a fuck all throughout high school, which back then showed itself in me skipping classes and living as unhealthily as possible. But those were mainly my hormones acting up I guess. Nowadays I have just stopped giving a fuck about society and my place within it. And I have stopped caring so much that I am the most tolerant person you'll ever meet, because I simply have no interest in your color of skin, sexual preferences, and way of dressing or acting. At all. "Live and let live" are real words to live by here. As long as you don't annoy me, I won't annoy you. And if you try to annoy me I will just leave. It's as simple as that, and if more people thought that way, the world would be a much better place. But I have touched on this issue before. Notwithstanding I am feeling a sudden urge to write about it again, but am rather doubtful that I will come to any fresh conclusions or revelations in the course of doing so. Is it really that hard to find new topics though? I mean not only here, but more like generally. My entire way of being and thinking seems to revolve around a few central themes and issues that change in manifestation but never in essence. It all boils down to the same exact stew. And whilst that may seem like something one would easily get sick and tired of, I don't actually mind. For reasons outlined above mainly. Even if my life were the monotonous dulling glob that I fear it is sometimes, why should I care? I am quite happy with the way things are going lately, and have always had a certain sense of contentedness in my life. In some periods that was essentially gone, but it always remained lingering in the background of my psyche. Which can once again be related to the fact that not giving a fuck makes you de facto happy, seeing as when you just don't care about things they quickly stop bothering you. So, am I perpetuating the "yolo" lifestyle that has apparently become dominant in my generation by saying that not giving a fuck is the way to go? I like to think that I'm not. It is so fucking pathetic to use that slogan as an excuse for incredibly stupid and at times dangerous behavior. I mean you know my feelings towards drug-use and similar things, but there is such a thing as doing it smartly, and in moderation. And the people that actually use such slogans as a way to define their "unique" lifestyle are just fucking idiots. Such. Fucking. Idiots. Which is why I draw a very clear line between these fuckers and myself. My definition of not giving a fuck and living life for the day differs largely from what these... creatures believe to be the "right way to go, man". I mean there is an obvious difference between healthy non-caring and deliberately getting into dangerous situations. Even if it may seem similar, and even though the reasons might be akin to each other, the resulting personalities are extremely different. So fucking different that I feel the need to make sure I am not ever thrown into a pot with these fucking parasites. Behaving like a jackass does not make you "cool" or give you "swag". And I should kill myself for even using a word like the latter. But I am in need of making a point, so it's somewhat appropriate. Anyway, it seems that nowadays the common denominator among these people is that stupidity and recklessness pay off, or make you cool. I mean what the hell? That is just too idiotic to be put into words. Actually it's sad. How youth culture has deteriorated since "the good old days" that I myself unfortunately never experienced is fucking depressing to say the least. Damn, I sound like an old hippie reminiscing the sixties: "Back in the Woodstock days our movement meant something man, we were changing the world one trip at a time". Ha. Albeit being too cliche for words, this sentence holds a truth. Not caring about the obsolete societal system in place used to be expressed in political songs and demonstrations combined with heavy use of psychoactive substances. But nowadays it's simply not about the real anymore. Nowadays that carelessness is expressed in idiocy, which is of course exactly the way the system in place and those guarding it want it to be: "Let the idiots live their pathetic fantasies while we're making cash and brainwashing future generations with our poisoned, foul, and rotten ideologies". And without noticing it, a lot of people are simply playing into that, doing what they're supposed to, functioning without thinking, not smoking but drinking, and slowly turning into lifeless shells that have more resemblance to decaying cadavers than to human beings. This can essentially be related back to a few of my anti-society posts, but I think I've never touched on this particular aspect before.

Actually, let's look at it from another perspective. Think about a nightclub, or a rave. What does it look like these days? There's sluts in skirts barely covering any flesh weirdly shaking their behinds to bad electronic music with even worse vocals, there's the guys that only come out of the gym for the party and look like a drunk Schwarzenegger copy (which is not a fucking compliment by the way), and there's your typical aggressive asshole only looking for a fight. And what happens there? Well, the sluts usually get fucked by the Schwarzeneggers at some point, the assholes get into fights with each other, and "normal" club-goers like me have long left because the scene was too obscene and depraved to bear. Now think about the same place or event, but 30 to 50 years ago. There were close to no fights. There were no totally-ripped, abercrombie&fitch wearing douches. There were sluts, but they weren't instantly recognizable as such, and there was at least a little work involved to get into their pants. The people were not there because they wanted to make sure that everyone sees how fucking cool they feel they are, no, the people were there to drop some acid, pop a couple of pills, and be unified in happiness and dance. They felt a sense of togetherness within the music; they felt as part of a movement that tuned in and dropped out just for the heck of it, but also as a statement to authority, society, and the conservative system. These day-dreaming hippies had more political ambition in their little finger than today's club-goers will ever have in their entire being. And that is just fucking sad. I mean of course, going out shouldn't have to be a sign of protest every time, and it should of course be about having fun, but that's not even the way it is nowadays. No, these days going out feels like going to a beauty-contest of sorts; everybody is trying to look better than the next person, everyone is trying to show that they can do the most drugs ('combat-drinking' as it is called in Germany, and yes alcohol is a drug, actually one of the worst ones there are), and no-one is showing that they're just fucking stoked to be there with all the similar-minded people. Simply because people are not even close to being similar to each other anymore, and everyone is going to these clubs for a plethora of different reasons, meaning that the unison that was felt "back in the days" is completely out of the picture. And that is what is most sad - people are competing instead of co-operating, hating instead of loving, and destroying instead of creating. We need to go back to what the students in '69 were trying to convey to us: Peace, Love, and Harmony. As much as these words sound like cliches of a stoned acid-freak, it would make the world a much better place if everyone just tried to apply the underlying concept to their own lives. So much better. But well, that's not the way a "normal" human being is supposed to be apparently, no, we're geared for competition in all aspects of our existence, we're taught to always outsmart and outdo others in order to succeed. We need to fucking change our way of thinking. Or we'll just use our nukes at some point and wipe ourselves out completely. Which would probably be best anyway.

Well, all that is essentially left to say is that I really hope that at least some of you will try and incorporate the thoughts expressed above into your lives, if just a couple people would behave differently and try to achieve harmony with their surroundings, I would be extremely happy. But anyway, I hope I have at least given you something to think about, or reminded you of values long forgotten. And well, at this point I will as always leave you with some good music:

Showtek - Fuck The System 
-> Oh my god. How much better of a song could I have picked? He essentially reiterates the thoughts expressed above, and well although hardstyle is not my all-time favorite kind of music, this song gets really well after the somewhat boring intro. And well, for all of you impatient people that want to know what the fuck I was talking about when I said he essentially says the same as me, fast forward to 0:59. But anyway, this song holds so much truth, and really expresses words to live by more or less if you ask me, so... Enjoy!

Torqux - No Way Back 
-> Look, I've spent some time on the UKF Dubstep channel once again, and stumbled upon this dark beauty here. Amazing intro that sound somewhat familiar (if anyone knows where I could know it from please let me know!), slowly building up to insane drops and an overall musical awesomeness with an extremely heavy, somber feel to it. Well, an all in all amazing tune, so... Enjoy!

D12 - Purple Pills 
-> "Cool, calm, just like my mom, with a couple of Valium inside her palm" Eminem was so much better on drugs. Like most artists actually, as soon as they're clean they stop making this creatively fucked up and awesomely funny music. But well, this song is just so fucking great, I can't even put into words how much I enjoy listening to it over and over and over again, it's just such a drug-enthusiastic track couple with D12's unique humor. This tune is so great you have no choice but to... Enjoy! (it)

Eminem - The Kids 
-> "Drugs are bad, m'kay?" Haha. Well, I have to say that I usually don't feature an artist twice in one post, but well, this song just needed to be here because it is as awesome as the one above, and just sarcastically shows the extreme examples that are always made up in the media when it comes to the topic of drugs, making this song even more awesome, and well Eminem's humor is just so great. And yeah, I have noticed that the lyrics' timing is way off, but I couldn't find another video right now, so you'll just have to live with that. Anyway, this song is fucking awesome, so... Enjoy!

The Beatles - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds 
-> Some say this song was based on a picture John Lennon's son, but I believe it is about LSD (as do many others). It just describes this incredibly individual and spiritual drug so perfectly, it shows how abstract it is and how little one can actually say about it. And well "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". And the trippy-ass video that looks like it was thought up whilst on acid anyway. Regardless of the songs content though, it is musically awesome and The Beatles were just a great band, so...Enjoy!

Deep Purple - Child In Time
-> Here is another psychedelic classic, this time by Deep Purple, and well... music like this just isn't made anymore. The incredible vocals, the drums, the guitar, just everything, it's like a perfect orgasm slowly rising and coming to an amazingly beautiful finale. This is one of the songs that remind of why I enjoy music so much, it reminds me that I was born way too late, and shows how fucking talented musicians used to be. All in all, it's just an amazing tune that everyone should know, and if you don't you're in for a treat, so... Enjoy!

Well, I once again fucked up the deadline, didn't I? But not as badly as last time, this post took only 10 days instead of eleven to be completed. Which is still three days too much, but I'm slowly getting there. Anyway, this entry is mostly concerning itself with society, not giving a fuck, and drugs, which are very dominant themes in this blog, but well, these are also the things I spent most of my time thinking about, so I put these thoughts down here. Plus I am really trying to slowly work through all aspects of these topics. Which is impossible to do in a single post, so I am always rehashing these subjects in a different light, which is hopefully enjoyable to you.


Peace!

It's like a rollercoaster-ride

this great mystery called "life" isn't it? And I mean that in both directions. Sometimes, like myself lately, you might feel down, rock-bottom down actually, and then fate, or whatever you want to call it suddenly jolts you back up and you find yourself being happy again. Which does not last forever obviously, the fall back down always comes eventually, but it's nice to be reminded that it's usually followed by a ride back up. And well, ultimately everything evens itself out anyway. I have already discussed this though so I won't repeat that today. I am as usually writing completely at random and hoping that something interesting appears here so that I can meet the (almost-)weekly deadline I have set for myself. Deadlines are actually something I thoroughly despise and always try to somehow postpone or get around, making me somewhat pissed at myself for having set one here. But if I don't do this regularly I notice that it gets harder and harder to write creatively and even spell correctly, which impairs my ability to go on working on my novel that now already consists of almost 9000 words, and I am really eager to write as much as I can for it seeing as I really enjoy creating the protagonists life on the edge. Maybe I'll post a little sneak-preview of it here at some point to get your opinion on it and, well, to share it of course. But not today. I want to have a little more material to choose from prior to deciding what part of it to excerpt and feature here. So I will once again just stick to writing something that's hopefully entertaining for you guys. Or at least something that makes you think about things, but you all know the drill by now. Which leaves me at an impasse because I am not really thinking a whole lot at the moment, I am simply basking in the happiness that has suddenly been catapulted back into my life. I mean there is a lot going on, there's trouble brewing all around the world, which I know because I am now following every source of news imaginable on Twitter and installed two News-apps on my smartphone. That idea came to me, as you can probably imagine, whilst reading a Hunter S. Thompson book. And also because I have lately been feeling like I should work towards a profession where I would actually make money with my writing, in whatever form that may be.

And according to "wordcounter.net" the above introductory paragraph was exactly 420 words long. Isn't that awesome? I mean that that just randomly happened so close to 4/20 is just fucking amazing. It actually made me smile just now. But anyway, there will be another post around that day concerning itself with mankind's favorite plant. Probably. Today however I will be ranting about something that has drawn my into a vicious circle of being pissed about it over and over again. That something is namely my inability to write lately. And by that I don't mean that I'm suffering from "Writers block" or something similar, no I mean that I do not have the fucking time. My social circle here has expanded beyond my wildest dreams meaning that if I'm not at university I am somewhere else hanging with friends or spending time with my girlfriend, both of which lead to me being home late and exhausted, ergo unable to produce as much as a god damned predicate. Which just saddens me because I would love to spend as much time on creating sentences and paragraphs as possible. But alas, reality and its many responsibilities are always lurking behind the next corner, ambushing me whenever they see fit, and thereby preventing any kind of creative process from happening. Even now I am very limited in my time, hastily typing these words on my smartphone whilst waiting at my institution for higher education for an exam to finish so that I can go home. Not alone though mind you, which means that this entry will not be continued until late afternoon today or worst-case scenario even tomorrow morning. That would be terrible, especially after announcing this post to be appearing "within the next few days" on Facebook. What a blunt error on my part. Making promises that will probably not be holdable after all. I am however trying my best to hold them, which is why I am using these few minutes of spare time to write this. 
Being a highly social animal it is getting increasingly hard to find such moments of tranquility though. It's not only my misanthropic side speaking here; I genuinely believe that albeit longing for social recognition and interaction even us humans need a fucking break for one another from time to time. By which I do not want to demean the value of any time spent with people close to myself. Or complain about the amount of time that was spent. All I am saying is that it is essential for people to be by themselves occasionally, especially when creating art of any kind or when dealing with emotional extremes. In latter case having others around may be helpful to some, I agree, but personally I would much rather discharge myself emotionally on my own prior to talking to others and sharing my feelings. But maybe that's just me. 

Hm. The above paragraph derailed kind of quickly from "inability to write" to "breaks from social interaction". Well I guess the topics are pretty heavily interlinked after all as outlined above. If there were more of those breaks my ability to write would 'rise' again. But then again social interaction is mostly not as bad as it used to be for me. Of course there are lots of things I still find insanely annoying about it that make me want to quit society and live on a small island on my own, but all in all it's gotten better I think. Although I have to admit that my perception of the world is once again tainted in rose by the recent uplift that fate (or whatever) has given my life, meaning that that might also be the reason for me thinking that interacting with humans is not as bad as usually lately. Which is not negative per se, but just something to keep in mind whilst reading this. I was in an entirely different mood when I wrote the last entry for example. Which is pretty obvious actually. But well, as the title suggests that's how life goes. And isn't it fucking annoying that I keep coming to that conclusion? I mean, I feel like a broken CD-player repeating the same old track over and over again. And also the reason I feel fucking trapped in an ever-repeating cycle. Don't get me wrong, I am more than happy with everything at the moment. But still. There is a relentless little nagging voice inside of my brain that's enticing me to somehow try and break free from the ups-and-downs of life. If that's even possible; and I highly doubt that to be honest. It's like Karma - something you can not escape. And whilst you know me enough by now to know that I am not spiritual or religious in any way, I do believe the underlying concept of Karma to be applicable to everyday life. If you behave decently and well towards others, eventually good will come to you in some form. And well, the opposite applies too: if you behave like an asshole you'll ultimately be punished for your wicked ways in some way. And albeit having to admit that there are enough cases where this does not seem to apply, I still believe the idea of Karma to hold some truth. All the times I have behaved like an utter jerk or have hurt people it has turned around to bite me in the ass in one way or another. And whilst not every time I behaved decently has been rewarded in some way, it still is true that it does not only make you feel better about yourself but also increases the likelihood of good things coming your way. At least that's how I have experienced it so far. Mostly. There are of course also examples of times where good deeds have been completely unrequited and even led to disastrous consequences for me. In retrospect even these times have been evened out by other positive experiences that can somehow also be traced back to aforementioned consequences, so the overall concept of Karma still applies. And somehow I find solace in that fact. Because you see so many people acting like the world revolves around them, and it's just so great to 'know' that these assholes will eventually have some sort of huge "down" within their lives because of that behavior. Know is in parentheses because you can not possibly be sure of a thing like that. But at least I like to think that it is that way, and that gives me some sort of comfort when dealing with those kind of assholes.

Anyway. I am really lacking creative capabilities today. I feel somewhat drained lately. I am probably just too happy to write. Or maybe I am just lazy as fuck and am using that as an excuse for myself. Which is actually not uncommon at all; if there is a possibility to blame unproductive behavior on anything but ourselves, us humans are extremely quick to do so. And understandably so. I mean, it's easy to face being too lazy to do things you're not interested in, but when it comes to things you would actually want to do but for some reason feel unable to complete them it's a whole other story. Because, well, you want to finish these activities and reach the goals you set for yourself. And the feeling of inability that hinders the progress towards it may just stem from laziness. A laziness that is not necessarily bad though, because your inner batteries need recharging once in a while and those periods of non-productivity may lead to just that. It only becomes problematic when the non-productive periods outweigh the productive ones. And I don't necessarily mean outweigh in temporal terms. The productive periods can be a lot shorter than the non-productive ones. Some people just work better when they cram their creative span into a few frenzied days between weeks of not doing anything. Which is a perfectly valid way of working, as long as the fruits said productivity yields are big enough. Which is very subjective of course, and entirely depends on your own perception of things. For some that may be a few hundred words, for others a few hundred pages; if you're writing that is obviously. But it applies to any kind of creative process. I myself usually try to just write a little at least every other day because otherwise I lose my flow so to say and have a harder time getting stuff done the way I would want to. Which is also yet another reason this post took such a long time to be completed actually. 11 days for an entry to appear. That's a little longer than almost-weekly, but still roughly fits the scheme. Plus I doubt that anyone is really going to complain about it. 

But I am getting tired. And well, as outlined above I really think that I have exhausted my creative potential for the next couple of days, and seeing as I really need and want to continue working on my novel, I will need to be creatively active again quite soon, so I am putting a stop to this moderately interesting but hopefully still to some degree enjoyable entry, and as always leaving you with some good music to unwind:

Astronaut - Quantum (Spag Heddy Remix)
-> This is one of the songs that could probably literally make me cum. It is such an epic fucking remix of an already awesomely melodic song, and the build up to the raw drop that still manages to remain melodic throughout and thereby not destroying the charm of the original but adding a raw bite to it so to say, that makes this entire song such a perfect musical creating, so... Enjoy!

Spag Heddy - Pink Koeks
-> Well after just featuring the remix above I felt enticed to research some more songs of this guy, and stumbled upon this gem, which besides being completely fucking sick and awesome also makes me happy somehow, maybe it's the melody, I don't know, but hearing this track makes me smile, and well it's just an amazing tune, I am really liking this artist and will surely have more of his works here in later posts, so... Enjoy!

Annihilator - Alison Hell
-> This song is, as you can see at the start of the video based on a true story of a little girl who slowly fell into the depths of insanity, starting with a simple fear of boogey man. Well, besides from these sick guitar riffs that far surpass many modern-day guitarists wildest dreams, this song is extremely deep and reflects the development of Alison's mental deterioration frighteningly well. All in all a great classic, so... Enjoy!

Iron Maiden - Brave New World 
-> Although I have a certain aversion to the great Huxley novel of the same name because I was forced to deal with it in English class, it holds a great truth about what humanity's heading to, and well this song somewhat touches on that theme as well, there's lots of social criticism in there, and it's just an overall beautifully sad song that most definitely needed featuring here, so... Enjoy!

Andre Nickatina & San Quinn - Ayo for Yayo 
-> While I know neither of these artists' other songs or even background or anything at all actually, I do know how much I enjoy this song, and how fucking awesome it simply is. And of course a warning about the dangers of cocaine addiction. But that shouldn't be a nuisance, it's still a fucking great song, the beat is really chill and the guys flow fits so amazingly with it, making it an all in all awesome tune, so... Enjoy!

DMX - Where The Hood At 
-> Whilst being pretty homophobic, which is not unusual in Rap, this is still a fine-ass piece of rap music right here. D to the M to the X. I mean, you all know this song, and there is not much more I can really say. Great classic tune, so... Enjoy!

Well, this did not turn out as one of my best posts to be honest, and I do apologize for the slight lack of quality which occurred because of reasons outlined above. I will do my best to compensate for this with my next post though, and will also try and post within the next seven days instead of eleven this time. But anyway, I hope this entry was still enjoyable to you, and wish you a good night, or day, depending on which part of the world you're reading this from.


Peace!