I could essentially

start this post with the same exact title as the previous one. "Why, oh why". But this time it would go on with something like "can I not keep myself from my own emotions?". Which is something I am really asking myself lately. Bear my last post in mind. Social intertwining is ultimately doomed and therefore engaging in such can be considered stupid, mad even. That was the conclusion; the end of all hope. 

“Can’t repeat the past?…Why of course you can!” 

                  - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

And now fate, or whatever, has decided to jolt my transfixed bad mood upwards, and give me back what sucked the life clean out of me whilst it was gone. Ironically enough, this has, as the avid reader may have noticed, happened twice already, which had proven my long ago reached conclusion about the senselessness of such intertwining completely. But I can not for the life of me escape those sweet endorphins that dead-bolt rose-tainted glasses onto my eyes. Isn't it ironic that I had forsaken these very emotions already, dismissing them as idle brain-farts always leading to the same painful end? And aren't they? I mean, I should probably quote Mrs. Rita Mae Brown before going any further: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.". Which is exactly what's happening here, or am I wrong? The ultimate doom I was mentioning has not disappeared, but simply drifted out of focus due to aforementioned endorphin-highs that are more addicting than the most potent crack/heroin mixture any drug-peddling half-mad chemist in some Czech laboratory could come up with. But I'm getting off-topic here. 
What I was discussing was the essential underlying insanity in the action of just trying to jump into the same old relationship Phoenix-style. I am not saying it is a bad thing per se, quite the contrary actually. My feelings towards it are as magnificent as one might imagine them being after the past two weeks of feeling like shit. Still I cannot shake off that lingering voice in the back of my head that is screaming "Dysfunctional! Insane! Just plain damn weird!". But then again, "when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" (HST), so maybe that's what we're doing? Just taking all the weirdness surrounding us and bringing it to a whole new level? I like to think so actually. Who needs the conforming, normal people acting like they should, even or especially when socially intertwined by the four-letter word that means everything and nothing? I am and always have been a fan of more radical approaches to mundane things anyway, so why bother trying to act as others do in that aspect? So I am, as you could have expected not going to do that. 
But I avoided the question that has been present ever since I introduced my mood swing that has happened because I engaged in a symbiosis that I had doomed and damned just a week ago. This question is if I was wrong with my ranting about the ultimate doom that faces each and every coupling. Unfortunately, no. That remains an omnipresent reality of life. But I may have been wrong about the utter senselessness of engaging in such intertwining. Because despite all evidence to the contrary that presented its ugly face once that uplifting relieving of lonliness was gone, I am happy once again, which is something almost two decades of living have taught me to cherish as long as it lasts - however long that may be. And seeing as aforementioned togetherness increases such moments considerably,the down that eventually comes might actually be worth the up that precedes it. 

"Buy the ticket, take the ride!" as my favorite author would say. And I've bought the ticket a few months ago and the ride is apparently far from over albeit having stopped for an unbearable while. So, I'll ride this ride until the bitter-sweet end that I've discussed in the last post. Which is a beautiful feeling actually. Fuck, I'm alive and I'm fucking loving it! I can not say how long this euphoria will last but as long as it remains I will enjoy it.

Anyway. I have to say that vis-à-vis the shit that's going down in the world, my happiness might be misplaced. But fuck the world. As you know I've long ago established that this entire imaginary construct we call society will collapse under its own dumb mass of braindead parasites. They will drown in the foam of their own filth, sex, and murder, to loosely quote Rorschach from "Watchmen". Mind the "loosely" though, I was too lazy to actually google the exact wording. I have not ever wanted any part in the depraved obscenities that are generally accepted as "social behavior" nowadays, which is also the reason for my general incompatibility when it comes to relationships. But if we take the element of the expected norms out of it and elevate the weird to a professional level... Well, at that point the whole picture changes, and being incompatible in the regular and socially-accepted way is no longer of any importance. Which is hopefully a status that I can fully achieve rather soon. I'm on my way but not quite there yet I feel, which also explains the fall-outs mentioned earlier. But enough of that. The essence of what I am trying to convey here is that if opting out of any social conformity is what you're aiming for, there's no reason why there shouldn't be a special somebody joining you in just that. That is what I actually realized due to this on-off thing that's been going on in my life for a few months now. Whether or not this realization holds any kind of value is another question. I mean, I could actually use a matrix allegory here: Some people within the matrix are simply not yet ready to be freed and will use all their might and cunning to perpetuate the status quo. Just like in real life, some people may simply not be ready to opt out of societal norms and therefore try with all their power to stay within. But then along comes a person defying the very system these people are sworn to protect, and an emotional bond is established. That's when things get complicated. Because someone immersed in the system and someone trying to avoid being just that cannot usually co-exist for a long time without serious quarrel. But an emotional bond may be too strong to actually stay away from each other, leaving both parties at an impasse. Or rather at what seems like an impasse. The inevitability of doom is present in any emotional connection but in the one just described it is actually being postponed quite a bit in comparison to a coupling where both partners are either opted in or out of society's relentless grip. The reason for this is that small fractions of the ultimate doom are shattered on the long road towards it of an essentially incompatible couple, meaning that small pieces of the bitter end are being taken away up front so to say, leading to an overall longer-lasting journey. If that even makes any sense. But I believe it does. Or at least I hope so. But fuck if I know. In these highly emotional contexts one can never be entirely sure of any utterance, as proven by the disparity that can be found between this and the previous post. Emotions are highly fucking unpredictable to say the least. Which is on one side, as many may argue, what makes them so unique and special and unicorns and rainbows, but on the other side, my side, it is exactly that what's so fucking annoying about them. If I could just keep those fuckers at bay I'd be so happy. It's not that I don't enjoy being jolted around by endorphin-induced euphoria followed by soul-crushing depression, and then being jolted upwards again. But I'd much rather have some sort of control over the entire process. Not in the sense that I want to be able to choose who I fall for or anything like that, but much rather in the sense of being able to control the degree of madness that comes down on one as soon as aforementioned "fall" has occurred. It's incredible the way grown-up people let their emotional sides get the best of them as soon as it comes down to the notorious four-letter word. And that is the kind of behavior that I would like to be able to suppress when I say that I would like to have full control over my feelings. But this tangent about the control of emotions appeared here quite randomly out of nowhere. 
In the end "errare humanum est, sed perseverare diabolicum", so if I was wrong with the assumption about my utter incompatibility for social intertwining and the senselessness thereof, at least I was "wise" enough not to persist in it, and therefore also not diabolical. I might also be persisting in an erroneous coupling though, but in that case I have to say that being diabolical doesn't seem as bad, but rather good actually. Or Seneca was only partially right, but I doubt that. So I am either persisting in my fallacious assumption and thereby slowly morphing from human to he-devil, or I was wrong with my initial assumption from my last post and am now being human by admitting just that. Either way, I have already been or will be proven wrong. Which is simply part of life and nothing to be ashamed of in my humble opinion. Not many a soul thinks like that though, being wrong seems like the ultimate sin nowadays, which is quite simply put idiotic. If we didn't err and therefore stumble at all, we'd never learn how to accept that and get back on our feet, and lacking that kind of experience would quickly transform the human race into a bunch of whiny little pricks. Not that we're much better now, mind you. But at least there are still a lot of people who know how to deal with defeat and fallacious reasoning in a decent, civil kind of way. Which would essentially just be to accept it, get back up, and then move on. But too many idiots are too stubborn and far too set in their own opinion of themselves to actually accept that they were wrong. And these fucking retards then use all of their might to try and prove that they have been right after all, even if that means doing a whole bunch of hurtful, depraved, and downright immoral bullshit. Just because it is too fucking embarrassing for them to admit an erroneous decision and learn from that mistake. No, they've got to be right from the very start, and cannot see that that's just fucking impossible. But well, to each his own I guess, and I've learned to recognize and avoid these parasitic parodies of human beings anyway. Plus I am usually more than able to actually make them see the fallacy of their ways in a rather brutally honest way, making my encounters with these... people... a rather fun experience for me, and a soul-crushing disastrous realization for them. So a win-win situation in the greater context. 

But fuck all that. Some, or actually most come to think of it, of them will never change anyhow. And well, that's essentially just to way life is, in some ways there will always be a few things that one just needs to cope with, as mentioned in my previous post. And that is what makes life so fucking enthralling on one, but also so fucking devastating on the other hand. 
I am getting tired though, so I'll just cut the post off here, and leave you guys be with some good music, as always:

KillaGraham - Clowns
-> I am getting a hard-on just listening to this amazing bit of pure filth! I have always loved the UKF Dubstep Channel, and despite a slight drop in quality in the latest uploads, this epic piece of music is definitely one of the gems on there. Great melody, surprising but awesome drop, and an overall feeling of pure greatness, making this tune fucking awesome, so... Enjoy!

Knife Party - Centipede 
-> Knife Party never disappoints, and this song proves just that... Greatly chosen introductory vocals, followed by a drop of epic proportions with a bass that slaps you through the room, opens your cranium and then forces your soulless body to play football with your brain! Mind-boggling stuff, great artist, and once again found on the best channel for electronic music on YouTube, so... Enjoy!

Flatbush Zombies - Thug Waffle
-> Okay let me start by saying that this not the style of HipHop I usually enjoy, but this song is just so fucking awesome and talking about mankind's favorite plant, meaning that I had to put it on here, and the hook is about the best I've heard in a recent release for quite some time... "Fuck the police though, we smoking like it's legal!"... Enjoy!

Method Man - Uh Huh
-> Let's get back to some classic rap, here is maybe the ill-est MC alive, with a fucking awesome track, a funky-ass beat, and well Method Man's incredible flow and lyrics! Method Man has been around for such a long time, rolling with the Clan way back then, and has since then established himself as one of the very greatest rappers in history, and this tune just proves that this is where he belongs, so... Enjoy!

Metallica - For Whom The Bell Tolls
-> Although I did check to see whether or not I've already posted this one here and did not see it anywhere, I cannot shake the feeling that I had already featured this track... But anyway, great song used in one of the funniest Zombie movies since Shaun of the dead, and well it has been around for ages just like Metallica themselves, making this tune an absolute classic that definitely needs to be here, so... Enjoy!

Machine Head - Halo
-> I've always rather enjoyed Machine Head, they exude this raw energy within their music that is so often lost in today's music, and their riffs and melodic parts are equally amazing. Although I have to say that I was never a fan of switching between a sort-of growling and clean vocals, but in this case it actually works quite well. Plus the video is fucking awesome too, so... Enjoy!

Well, this turned out to be a rather positive post albeit touching on some difficult issues. But seeing as my mood has really gone up again it wasn't all too hard to stay out of narcissistic self-despair and -loathing for once and deliver something at least remotely optimistic. So, I hope you enjoyed my newest ramblings and were not all too annoyed by the fact that I essentially contradicted myself vis-à-vis my previous post.


Peace!

I feel stupid

for not having realized earlier that I can also change the font of my blog posts' text, so now that I have I will compose all posts from here on using my favorite font "Courier New".
There are multiple reasons for my fondness of this font: first and foremost it is because it looks like a typewriter, which is something I really enjoy, it has a classic time-less appeal that speaks to me on an artistic and aesthetic level; secondly my mum had an old typewriter on which I'd write the occasional nonsense as a child, but unfortunately it was destroyed in a fire that burned most of my parents' and my old stuff that had been put into a storage container when we moved to China in '07, enhancing my emotional connection to this font; and finally the Hunter S. Thompson book collection I am currently reading is written entirely in this style, and as you know I idolize the guy, making this font the only appropriate choice for me to use for my blog.

I have to say that lately I am even more compelled to write than usually, seeing as I am receiving loads of positive feedback in real life recently, which is definitely a nice motivator for me to continue working on my posts. Not that I wouldn't have done that would I have gotten no or even negative feedback. But it's still nice to feel a certain sense of recognition, that people are actually impressed with what I have to say. It warms the cockles as it were. Actually, I am still seriously contemplating writing a book, or maybe try to get an unpaid columnist position somewhere, and aforementioned feedback makes these ambitions thrive like well-planted seeds being tended to by an attentive and loving farmer. Knowing myself I might be too lazy to actually get started though. I mean a book. That's a lot more pages to fill than my blog requires me to. It would still be nice to produce something in print however. Or maybe these are just day dreams that I will give up again at some point soon. I will let you know albeit most of you probably not caring.
But if I were to actually write a book, it would most definitely not be fiction per se. I can't imagine myself imagining a whole new world and stuff, that would not be something I would terribly enjoy either I think. I'd more write like my own personal manifesto on everything that I consider to be wrong with this world, or perhaps an opinionated analysis of society through the eyes of a third-person narrator. Or just a series of cynical essays that will resemble my blog posts. Or not even go the extra mile to create new material and just compile my posts into a book. But I don't know about any of that for now. 

For now, I'll just stick to writing this blog and entertaining you guys. Or offending or boring or whatever your sentiments towards my little slices of the great ham that is the art of writing are.
Meh, the ham analogy doesn't really work for writing,does it? More for like, a butcher. But you get what I mean, my few little ramblings here are hardly more to the writing community and its history than ants are to us or we are to the universe. Just a tiny almost non-existent piece of the whole, whatever that happens to be. 
But I am getting off track here, I am in no mood and way too sober to start discussing the meaninglessness of life compared to the entirety of the universe, or discuss the individuals worth in a high-speed world that is rushing to anonymity and conformity. No way, not today, not without getting seriously fucked up first, these are no topics for sobriety, period. 
I am not even sure why I am already writing any of this, my next post is not due for another week or so. But I am too lazy to change the DVD, I have seen the menu animation of "Final Destination 2" for what feels like the millionth time already, and am too bored with the movie to watch it again, meaning that I am stuck sitting here, with essentially writing as the only thing to do apart from the usual pastimes of the Internet of which I'm growing more and more weary seeing as they are a relentless repetition of semi-comedic material about as meaningful as a dog turd on the sidewalk. Yet I still fully indulge in them as soon as a flicker of boredom comes up. And it's not even like I don't have anything else to do, I am sure that if I looked into it I would find lots of things in need of completion for my studies. I could also start writing lyrics again. Instead I am sitting here, looking at this sterile screen in front of me wishing I was writing on an actual typewriter instead of just in a font that looks like one, and slowly drowning in a sea of pointless words and formulations, fading away into the illusion of contributing to the prevalence of common sense simply by writing about it. Or maybe it's not an illusion after all, maybe there are actually people being reinforced in their own use of common sense and decency in a world where these virtues are so quickly lost and replaced by shallowness and egoistically biased judgement. 
It is so easy, almost encouraged to behave like an asshole nowadays; it's unnerving! I can not understand these people. Well that is not entirely true. I can comprehend why someone would behave that way. Personal gain is a powerful motivator that often overlooks humanity and compassion. I have been there as well, the opportunities to throw someone under the bus in order to get something out of it are almost omnipresent. But I have rarely acted on it, and if I did I either felt like shit because of it or had very good reasons to do so. Either way, I have seen it far too often that people do not only act insidiously out of impulse and circumstance, but rather actively seek opportunities to deceive, manipulate, and use others, and when these opportunities are found exploit them like there's no tomorrow. And honestly, this saddens me. I mean it's not like I haven't learned to recognize these bastards from a mile away and avoid them like hell, it's not like this a completely new phenomena to me or in general, but still I feel like a little part of me dies every time I hear about or see that kind of behavior. 
The reason for this is mainly that in my mind, and those of many others, it is so easy to behave decently. Respect those that respect you, and those who show disrespect or insult you you ignore or avoid. I am not saying you should "turn the other cheek" either though, don't get me wrong, some people simply need an ass-whooping from time to time. But this senseless negativity, this back-stabbing, this pointless hatred that some exhibit are simply not understandable to me. Live and let live for Christs' sake, it's not that fucking hard, is it? 
And the most surprising thing to me is that everywhere I go the people surrounding me mostly fully agree with me on this, but still I see mankind behaving like goddamn retarded assholes not even remotely trying to just leave others be and worry about their own issues. Why do these lunatics think that they're solving anything or making life better for themselves when they so clearly are not? This has to be some sort of mental health issue, there is no other reasonable explanation that comes to mind. Or maybe my non-egoistic way of thinking is a symptom of mental deterioration after all, and all those I consider to be assholes are the healthy ones. But then again, this could all just be the dream of some over-sized mongrel that ends the second the beast wakes up from the sound of its own farts, so I don't see any point in speculating beyond my observational sphere on this, meaning that I will stick to my original utterance: Most people are egoistic assholes with a mental condition, and those that recognize this trend in their surroundings as well are a dying breed of decent humans, just like I like to think I am.

But essentially, it's egregious to assume anything based on one's perception of oneself, because it can not be anything but heavily biased, usually towards, but sometimes even against oneself. 
This bias in inherent to our nature and is not something to be ashamed, but just something to be aware of. It is possible to assess your own works' worth, but you need to realize that you're looking through tainted glasses when doing so, and adjust your self-assessment accordingly, which is a skill that develops over time. As the years go by you and what you create will be submitted to tons of judgements by various kinds of people, and you will see how and to what degree that varies from your own perception, which will in turn allow you to adapt your own appraisal of what you did to that of your audience, which is usually more accurate simply because it's a stew of many opinions from people who may not even know you instead of just your own. I can not emphasize enough that this does not mean to let yourself be influenced by others' opinions in your doing though, remember that most people are assholes that don't know what they're talking about at all, but don't forget that there are honest souls out there as well either; meaning that singular negative feedback from idiots should not get you down, but neither should singular praises from idiots lift you up, both would be fallacious feelings and lead to you not working the way you would want to, ultimately resulting in depression and failure, because you'll either produce good work thinking you're producing crap or vice-versa, ergo not being as productive as you would probably want to be. But vis-à-vis the aggressively mediocre taste of humanity nowadays actually being productive is of no value to the entertainment industry; pandering to the lowest common denominator amongst today's brainwashed TV-addicts however, is. Not that I haven't talked about this what feels like a million times already, but still it is true, be it in music, film, or writing that the corporate giants are turning true creative output into a cheesy, slimy mass properly cut into easily digestible pieces ready to be served to the brain-dead masses, thinly disguised as valuable nutrition for the mind. 

And of course, the driving force behind it is money. But despite us all realizing this we're not only condoning this behavior, we're even endorsing it by showing these corporations that it's easily possible to make billions of dollars off of untalented, crappy musicians simply because we, or some assholes among us, are buying into their shit! But this has already been discussed at length in one of my earlier "Food For Thought" segments, and I will not subject you to this torturous discussion once again, and am myself in no mood to get all aggro about this now. So, let's just keep in mind that money makes good music go bad, and that it's the corporations', "the man's" fault combined with our inability to resist their bullshit lies and propaganda. And I am using the word 'propaganda' explicitly because of its tremendous historic meaning, because I think that planting an ideology in people's brains is no more or less worse than using similar schemes to push bad, commercialized music, films, or books onto unsuspecting audiences, and thereby thoroughly ruining the essence of these arts, essentially ruining the artistic side of these arts. Of course the repercussions of selling crappy art are not as easily visible or as shocking as those of indoctrinating an entire nation with an ideology, but are not to be underestimated nevertheless. 
I mean think about the entertainment that will be here 20, 30, or even 50 years from now considering its development from the late 70's until the first decade of this century. Do you begin to see what I mean? We've gone from "The Great Shark Hunt" to "50 Shades of Grey"; from "Master of Puppets" to "Wrecking Ball"; and from "Pulp Fiction" to "Titanic" and "He's just not that into you". Mind you that I'm not trying to undermine the fact that there are indeed great artistic creations of this decade that managed to restore enough of my faith in humanity as to not jump off a bridge, but they're not as prevalent anymore, they're being reduced to the tiniest of niche. The big stars of the past were those that had actual worth, be it musically, artistically, or linguistically. Even those that sucked were better than today's "Top 50" or equivalent rankings, and that is just a sad sign of deterioration within the humans' understanding of the arts. And if we allow this rotting to continue, we will ultimately end up with horrific corporate industries managing an artists' every thought to make sure it is sell-able, and otherwise force-ably dismissing it. Oh wait, that's not a prediction at all, that's what's happening right now, but this seems to be the most extreme perversion of artistic integrity that I can come up with on my own. But well, in a few years I will surely be proven by one of the large entertainment industries that I just lack imagination, they'll find a way to making sell-outs even worse, I guarantee. And isn't it just sad that I can already predict that now with a fairly high amount of certainty? But that's the nice thing about it being only a prediction - it may or may not come true, and I certainly hope it doesn't, although I have to say that given the developments of the past decade I'm pessimistic about it.

Anyhow. This topic has been rehashed so many times in so many different ways already that my little take on it here should suffice considering I have myself already dealt with it before on this very blog, but not on the meta-level that I have elevated the theme to here encompassing essentially all forms of art.

Well, looking back on the text so far, I have to say that I am currently quite fond of dealing with multiple topics in one post, individually brief or long. Which was not a conscious decision, but rather just happened in the course of my writing. Maybe you have noticed it too, maybe I'm just imagining it, I don't know. But should you have noticed it, let me know if you like it or if you prefer mono-topical posts. Because I myself am usually drifting through thoughts and ideas whilst writing these posts, and am not really following a clear structure or trying to make a main point, but rather series of small points that add up to a nice, almost-weekly dose of 'wisdom'. I use quotation marks here because I am ambivalent when it comes to defining my ramblings as actual wisdom. To some extent I obviously consider them to be, hence the title of my Blog, but still I can not shake the feeling of sounding like an asshole with overblown ego wanting to impose his own opinions onto other people by declaring them to be wisdom. But as indicated before, I do think that there are things to take away from these posts. I just do not want them to be taken as being what they are, I want you to question every syllable I utter so as to form your own notion of the topics dealt with here. Hence my ambivalence towards the use of the word 'wisdom' as a description of my literary productions. But I still firmly stand behind this Blogs title, especially considering that it just has a nice ring to it, and that it does describe what I want you to attain by reading and thinking about the themes dealt with in these posts. Yes, you heard that right, I want to you to gain a feeling of "music and personal wisdom" within your daily life, I want you to subject yourself to philosophical lines of thought each and every day, preferably whilst listening to good music. But I know that you won't do this anyway, I mean neither do I to be honest. It is a nice thought though isn't it? To actually sit down with some nice writings on philosophy, drinking a cup of hot chocolate, and listening to some good old classic Rock. But it rarely happens that people actually do that nowadays, unfortunately. Even reading in general seems to be declining. Well at least when it comes to actual books that is. At least when it comes to my generation. Or, well, parts of it, I'm not someone to bash an entire decade of people, but it does feel like with every passing aeon less and less brain-mass is being passed on to offspring, slowly turning them into brainless zombie-like creatures more resembling primal beasts than fully developed homo sapiens sapiens. As part of the generation "Y" as sociologists put it, a lot of people may think that I am too young to be making these kind of calls, but to be honest I kind of doubt that using your brain to recognize patterns of mental degradation around you has an age-restriction. But it all seems to come down to this anyway. Every single one of my blog posts, and every line of thought I think. Maybe it's just me being a cynical asshole as always, maybe it's just me being condescending to way too many a soul. But I doubt it. Unfortunately.

Well, once again, a post that resulted in me criticizing society or rather developments within society caused by itself. But you all knew that that was going to happen, and so did I. Still, I do think that this beast of a post holds a lot of vital points I have not made at any point before, and should all in all be a long but entertaining read. Or at least that's the underlying intention, and I hope that I succeeded. Well, this concludes this 3000-word result of three days of typing, and here is some good music: 

Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song 
-> Great Band, great track, and I love to play this introductory riff on my guitar, it was such a great day when my guitar tutor taught me how, and yeah Led Zeppelin needs featuring here and will be quite a few more times in the future... Enjoy! 

Dub FX - Society Gates 
-> I have definitely had a Dub FX song on here before, but I am almost entirely sure that it was "Fly with me". Well, whereas "Fly with me" is rather psychedelic and elicits a feeling of drug-use in me, "society gates" is a nice piece about society and the norms it forces its inhabitants to conform to, which fits nicely into the final paragraphs of this post, so... Enjoy!

Twisted Sister - The Price 
-> Well I had Twisted Sister on here before as well, but definitely not this song and needed featuring here! It's an epically beautiful tune that holds many truths on many levels, and is musically great as well, so... Enjoy!

Black Eyed Peas - Joints & Jam 
-> "A chick-a-doom, a chick-a-doom chick-a-doom doom" - The Black Eyed Peas were so great back in the days, what the hell happened to them? I mean yeah, money and corporations, but can they really delude a band's essence this much? Apparently they can. But anyway, great track, funny video, so... Enjoy!

Twofold - All Around 
-> UKF does not disappoint, this is an epic song by Twofold, an artist I've seen a couple of times on the UKF Dubstep Channel lately which is usually a good sign, and this guy definitely deserves the spot on this 'exclusive' playlist that is UKF; amazing song, so... Enjoy!

50 Cent - I'll Whip Ya Head Boy
-> Upon re-watching "Get Rich Or Die Tryin'" a couple of times these past months I decided to include this great song that a friend of mine used as introductory music for his boxing match. I've never been the biggest 50 fan to be honest, but I've always liked his tracks and this one is definitely awesome, and you will see a few others of his works on here at some point, so... Enjoy!

At Vance - Vivaldi Four Seasons (Summer)
-> This is a great metal interpretation of the Summer-part of the Vivaldi's Four Seasons by the German band "At Vance", whose music I've been enjoying for about 4 or 5 years now. I had to include this amazingly crafted piece of music here at some point so might as well do it now, bring a little bit of sunshine into the darkness as it were. Anyway, this is an awesome interpretation of a classic piece, so... Enjoy!


Well, this post turned out to be a real beast of over 3000 words of ramblings, that I hope are enjoyable to you. I have addressed multiple topics in various lengths, but I think I managed to keep it all revolving around somewhat of a red line throughout the erratically uttered thoughts.
But anyway, creating this entry took a few days, and now it's again midnight soon, so I'll go to sleep and let you enjoy this literary creation of mine.


Peace!

For the first time

since the creation of this blog, I have actually been inspired by my readers for a post. Not by the poll of course, which only yielded one single fucking vote (that I personally saw being cast by the way), but by the amount of page views. Exactly, simply by the number of people having accessed this page today. The last few days have been quiet, with mostly less than 10 or even close to zero people viewing the blog, and all of a sudden this number rose to almost thirty today, the day before Valentines Day.
I mean, seriously? Who would be desperate enough to actually want to hear my ramblings a day before that? That's like asking for a nice push towards suicidal thoughts for all of the mentally unstable and clinically depressed people that I imagine actually reading this.
But, as unfortunate at it may be to the fans of my cynical streak, I actually don't have any dark thoughts about it looming in my mind this year, because I actually have someone to spend this day with for the first time ever.
And shit, I am excited about it! It feels like being wrapped into a nice worn blanket woven from caring wool, and then being served a nice cup of hot chocolate covered in loving cream, all whilst snuggling up with an amazing person and watching ones favorite movie! It's exhilarating! It just feels good to wake up in the morning and know that you're not lonely anymore.

Don't get me wrong though, I am still thoroughly despised by the commercial exploitation of the greatest human feeling for cheap profits and phony rituals that completely differ from the actual concept of love and relationships, dragging you into a cliched, disney-like fairytale that always ends in a rude awakening due to the fact that it has lost all touch with real life. Of course, true love is an outer-worldly feeling that is damn near impossible to describe in any way, and being in love with someone as amazing as I am makes your life seem like somewhat of a BS fairytale, but by no means should it be degraded to those cheap fucking bullshit lies that are offered each and every Valentines Day again, pandering to the lowest denominator available to the gullible wanna-be romeos of modern day wanna-be romances.
Am I not a cynical asshole at times? Happily in a relationship and still bitching about the negative sides of Valentines Day. But what can I say, these things tend to piss me off, and I tend to vent about stuff here, so yeah.
And isn't it kind of disgusting how companies target exactly the kind of people who are prone to deception on any given the day of the year, and are of course even more so when it comes to emotional decisions? And isn't it even more disgusting that e-dating services specifically target those poor lonely souls out there still looking for a better half? These poor saps are being taken on a ride in the days surrounding the holiday of love, and that is just not fucking cool.
I mean usually I would say that if you're actually susceptible to those kind of blatant corporate lies it's your own damn fault. But when it comes to these kind of extreme emotions it's just too much, that kind of shit can drive people crazy, trust me, I know from personal experience the adverse effects emotions can have on ones life, and toying with that stuff should be off-limits.
But as always, money will prevail, and the market is enormous, because love is universal. Everybody loves, even those that say they don't, even those that themselves think they don't. It's somehow deeply rooted into our being, and I mean beyond the natural instinct to reproduce. Something inside our minds, programmed into our mental makeup, compels us to search for a better half, a 'soul-mate' if you will, someone who completes our faults and makes us strive to elevate the status quo to the illustrious "Cloud 9", to the highest of heights, making our spirits soar, and illuminating mind and soul alike.

I am getting somewhat lost in thought here. I am not even sure if I had a central point I wanted to address, or if I had one and simply forgot it while writing this entry.
But I guess one point I wanted to make is that I am kind of flattered that the views for my page suddenly peaked before a day like Valentines Day, which is a day on which one could definitely expect me to be ranting about, as I sort of did already.
And this already brings me to my second point, which is that despite my unkind words about the corporate bullshit that happens on Valentines Day, I am still actually looking forward to it this year, because, as mentioned earlier, I have a special someone to share it with for the first time in my life, and because of that I can not remain as cynically negative about the whole thing as I would have been before. And that is actually good! I even feel healthier because I have been feeling happier, which again proves the superiority of the mind over the body it inhabits.

Happiness is a funny thing, especially when it stems from love, and especially on this day. Bear in mind my last post as I say this though, I am looking through rose-tainted glasses at the moment, but I actually don't feel like taking them off, which is amazing, and really makes me gain a sense of child-like wonder and anticipation about the future once again. But, as I said, bear in mind my last post as you read these words. The world hasn't changed, the same shit is going on, it's just my perception of it that has changed - because of love, and for the better - but still, just my perception was altered. This alteration is in itself simply amazing though, feels like a warm tingling sensation slowly moving from my stomach throughout my entire body, surrounding me in a warm glowing field of positive sensations that are too surreal to be put into words and induce a trance of happiness and loving emotions culminating into three little words that need to be said twice by two in order to mean anything at all.

As you all have noticed by now I am in a really good mood, and tomorrow will for once not be a wallowing day of red wine and generic sleeping pills and painkillers, and that is really awesomely amazing!

In this light, here's some music...:

Snoop Dogg - It's you I adore
->  Well, since it's Valentines Day I also have to acknowledge my earliest love - Miss Mary Jane, and there is no song that describes the feeling like this beautiful piece of music by Snoop Dogg... Enjoy! :)

Meat Loaf - I would do anything for love
-> First off, this is an epically amazing track filled with beautiful emotions, and Meat Loaf's voice is fucking awesome and the music itself is also breathtaking, all in all a marvelous song! But what I have always wondered - what the hell is "that"? What the fuck is he talking about? If anyone knows feel free to contact me in any way you see fit, I need to know this!

Adventure Club - Need Your Heart (feat. Kai)
-> An unbelievably beautiful and heavy song by Adventure Club, the epic and soft vocals slowly rising up to form a sound wave that crashes in your ears like on a steep shore of a tropical islands, leaving you exhausted, but happy... Enjoy! :)

Twisted Sister - We're not gonna take it
-> This is such a classic, it had to be put on here at some point, and this is just as good a time as any. The video is rib-crushingly funny, the music and the message is awesome, and albeit their questionable look, Twisted Sister made awesome music that is still as relevant today as it was back then!

Busta Rhymes - Gimme Some More
-> Another hilarious video. Busta Rhymes is one sick mofo, but that is what makes him such a genius, and his flow has always been out of this world, making him the an extremely complete MC, although I have to say that I wish he would still be doing this style of music instead of his new rapping as fast as possible style, which is is still insane don't get me wrong, but I preferred it when he was still humorous and creative like in this song... Enjoy!

Dj Fresh - Gold Dust (Flux Pavilion Remix)
-> You all know damn well how much I adore Flux's music, and I just heard this song a couple of times in a playlist I was listening to while typing this post, and I am pretty sure I have not put it anywhere on this blog yet, so I figured it's about time I did... Great song by a great artist! Enjoy! :)

Btw, the date changed while I was writing this, so somewhere around the beginning of the post I am still referring to today being the day before Valentines Day, and somewhere around the middle I am talking about it being today, which happened because I took a whole lot longer to finish typing this entry than I had expected. But well, what don't I do for you guys? :D

Anyway, happy valentines day to all of those who want to hear it this year, and to all of those who don't just remember my previous post.

Peace!