but apparently I did not feel that they were enough yet, so I decided to add a bad gambling habit to them. I had actually planned to get into gambling since I started to report on the World Cup games a few months ago but have not had the financial liquidity necessary for it up until now. And well, I've already lost most of the money I had put down, but am now very enticed to put some more dough down and try to win back what has been lost so far. Which is a bad idea, trust me I know that it is, but so are alcohol, drugs, and borderline insanity, but those have always worked for me (not wanting to plagiarize Hunter S. Thompson here), meaning that gambling will probably work for me as well. Or not, and I'll never post here again because I'll lose all my assets and end up living on the streets. But up to that point, I will continue to gamble on a variety of sporting events I know nothing about. Which is in all likelihood not the best way to go, but quite exciting nevertheless. Or just because of that?
I mean, I have not embraced risk and danger all too much in my life, or at least I thought that I didn't. But come to think of it, I might be a lot more prone to taking huge risks and putting myself in dangerous situations than I had originally thought. It's not a huge surprise though due to the fact that I have been close to dying both physically and mentally purely out of neglect for the possible consequences of my doing, meaning that I had taken as large a risk as I possibly could, and that it almost backfired on me. Which did not stop me from doing the same things over and over again though, each time with the same possibility of imminent death. Not that I take pride in having done so. But this behavior definitely shows that there is a risk-taking aspect to my personality that might be a lot stronger than I had gauged it to be so far.
And if that's good or bad, I don't know. All I do know is that it seems to exist at times. There are other moments however; moments in which I do not take the slightest of risk and remain as stale as I imagine soups in prison to be. But those are usually passing rather quickly, and almost exclusively appear in situations that I did not get in of my own accord. So, am I a risk-taker by definition? Or am I just blind to risk in situations that would actually call for both eyes being wide open? Am I reckless or just stupid? I believe the line one has to cross to turn from the one to the other to be extremely thin, borderline anorexic actually. Recklessness can have its roots in stupidity, and stupid behavior can be induced by reckless thinking. The both are interdependent, and yet they stem from different worlds, hell, from different universes altogether. Which makes this whole thing a lot more complicated. Because even if the risks of an action underway are just too obvious for one to be oblivious about their existence, and one still decides to partake in said action, one is either a complete moron or a daredevil. Leaving us at the same impasse we were at two sentences ago. Hm. This is certainly a dilemma of large proportions. I mean, I could go the easy way and just state that all people exhibiting a daredevil attitude are in reality just idiots seemingly looking to accelerate their inescapable demise by acting foolishly. But that would just be what the government does; throwing people in a pot with others that may seem similar but are in reality equipped with a myriad of differences to separate them from each other. And I am not going to stoop to that level, pandering to the lowest common denominator found in society. No, I am much rather going to shed some light on this issue. The thing that separates those taking risks for a thrill and those taking risks out of stupid negligence is essentially that those taking the risk for a thrill are trying to accelerate towards the notorious edge I have already discussed at length in order to reach a state of understanding; they're taking these risks as means to an end, as stepping stones paving the way to recognition, to an epiphany of sorts. They're looking to reach a new mental platform of being, and can only do so by pushing the risks associated with their actions to an absolute maximum. Whereas those taking risks out of stupidity and/or negligence will quickly back down once they've seen the hazards accompanying their doing; they're not looking to "see the light" when the prospect becomes reality, they're not wanting to use the danger as a mean to reach an understanding and revelation-inducing end. No, they have simply overstepped their boundaries by accident, and are paralyzed with fear like they've been struck by lighting, just looking for a way back to their normal, peril-free, dull, and relentlessly stagnating way of life. Which is fine, really. No-one should be forced to partake in any possibly dangerous action, and nobody should be allowed to force others out of their insanely boring comfort zone. Then again, no human being should be taking drugs by the definition of most governments, and we all know damn well that that is just wrong, ludicrous, and has lost all touch with real life.
So, to all of you daredevils: go and grab one of your dullest acquaintances and throw them in a situation they cannot possibly handle in order to get these boring fuckers to finally live their lives in a way that is worthy of being called that.
Ha. Those that know me personally will have snickered at the above sentence, simply because I am really not the type of guy to go out and do things that others would file under 'daredevil'. But I am living life to the fullest in another way, I am deliberately entering perilous situations in order to dash towards the illustrious edge, so, no, I would not consider myself as being dull, stagnating, fester, languish, or stall in any way. Maybe in the way that the sporting-fitness kind of people would consider as being idle. But I have at best slim interest for their definitions, seeing as my quest for an interesting and fulfilled life usually largely differs from theirs. This does not imply that I want to demean aforementioned group's definition though. It just means that mine is largely different, and that theirs cannot possibly apply to me just as much as mine cannot possibly apply to them. Which is not a bad thing by any means, it just shows the great diversity in the approaches different people have when it comes to the question of how to define yourself and your goals in life. It is pernicious to think your ideas and ideologies are right for everyone, and trying to insidiously push these on others is a heinous act of what essentially boils down to fascism. So, like I always say, "live and let live". That is as simple but at the same time as efficient as it gets. And I know that I have said that like a million times already, but it does not cease to be the best advice I could possibly give to anyone reading these words and pondering their meaning.
I mean, there are obviously situations that call for an active involvement rather than passive disregard, and in those cases, such as the government trying to take your freedoms or some asshole trying to rob you, it is better not to stick to the electric principle of taking the path of least resistance, and rather go ahead and kick some ass and take some names. But generally speaking, as long as your freedom isn't at stake, it's much better to just let people go about their business and not interfere because you don't perceive it as being "right" or "morally/socially acceptable".
So, the essence of this paragraph is essentially the anarchic principle of being able to take any and all freedoms for oneself as long as they do not obstruct the freedom of others, which, if people were smart enough to adhere to it, would make for a much better world than the war-ridden one we inhabit today.
All in all, I think that I'm touching on an all-too-familiar issue here once again: the idiocy of fellow man, and the disastrous consequences resulting from it. We humans are the only animal capable of actual thought, we're the only animal capable of judging its own actions, and yet we're completely unable to behave in a way that would honor such a high place in the world, unable to cope with the responsibility that arises from such great intellect, and completely unfit to rule over our own lives, much less over the faith of the entire fucking planet. And yet here we are, trying to do just that. And failing miserably, as always. Failure seems to be the only real constant in human history anyway. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to demean all the great achievements of mankind, we have come a long-ass way since the first ape decided it was time to walk on two legs instead of four and communicate using language instead of signs, but there has always been somewhat of a downward trend in all of our development, hasn't there? We had the industrialization, which was in itself good, but brought on inhumane treatment of workers, horrid environmental damages, and made some very fucking evil people very fucking rich. Then along came the globalization, which in itself had, and still has many positive aspects, but also created the means necessary for an even greater exploitation of the third world, a merging of standards only helpful to corporations, and an unprecedented opportunity for foreign secret services to spy on us. But well, globalization is of course not the sole responsible for these developments, and neither is the industrialization for that matter. It's us humans that cannot cope with great discoveries, it's us as a species that are unable to use these developments for the betterment of society and the environment. So, I reiterate: failure really is the only constant in human development so far. And that is sad, because there is such grand potential in all of mankind's achievements. But well, money and greed will always prevail, and we can therefore shove that potential up our asses, because we are not the ones that have the financial means necessary to make the corporate giants topple and finally use their might for good. "Good" - such a loosely defined term, but I think it is quite clear what I mean by it in this particular case.
Anyway. I am getting tired of this topic. It seems like no matter how many times I insist on it, no matter how many times I write about it, the same shit completely opposing my words just keeps on going down. So, I'll just hope that at least some of you manage to incorporate some of the things mentioned in this post in your own lives. Or at least think about some of the things and make up your own mind, you know the deal. So -- in this light -- I'll leave you be with some good music:
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dani California
->Blah blah blah. You can rip on me all you want for posting a Red Hot Chili Peppers song on here, but fact of the matter is that this song is pretty damn cool and catchy, plus it somehow reminds me of a time not all too long ago when I did not think about things as much and everything was much simpler. And even if it didn't remind me of anything - this song is awesome, the guitar riff has an awesome ring to it, the vocals are really nicely put on there, alternating between spoken and sung, and all in all this is just a great classic tune, so... Enjoy!
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication
-> I might be pushing my luck by putting yet another RHCP tune here, but since the topic is fitting, and I just heard this track on the radio, I decided to put it on here as well. And well, the title is the same as that of my favorite non-animated TV-show, so I guess it needed to appear here at some point anyway, so why not today? Plus the song in itself is quite nice, I really enjoy the melancholic guitar that starts with the intro and is present throughout the entire song, and the lyrics are quite cool as well, so... Enjoy!
Dr. Dre feat. Ice Cube - Natural Born Killaz
-> "You've got a problem? I've a got a problem solver, and his name is revolver" Awesome lyrics, legendary MCs, grimy-ass beat, and an overall great song! And well, pretty sick lyrics, but that's the way things went down back in the day I guess, and they're mostly an expression of rage anyway. Plus, Death Row used to be the most dangerous record label, so they had a certain reputation to uphold. And regardless of all that, this tune is fucking awesome and an absolute classic, so... Enjoy!
Eminem - Mosh
-> Here is an anti-Bush song, and as you can imagine, I thoroughly despise George W. Bush (and Dick Cheney for that matter), his politics, and everything he stands for, meaning that I immensely enjoy this tune. And well, Hunter S. Thompson, who was very well known for really hating Richard Nixon, said the following during an interview in 2004: "[...] if Nixon was running against George Bush. I’d vote for Nixon. Yeah... I never thought I’d say that." Which just goes to show how bad of a president George actually was. But anyway, this is a great political song that bashes Bush quite nicely, so... Enjoy!
Dimitri Vegas, Moguai & Like Mike - Mammoth (Original Mix)
-> I know that this song has by now reached what one could consider a mainstream-status, but that does not diminish its quality in anyway. I first heard this great track in 2012 or 13 at a friend's place, and had somewhat of an eargasm when the awesome melodic part combined with the heavy bass hit my eardrums for the first time in my life. Needless to say, I've enjoyed this song ever since, and I think that it is one of the very best tunes modern EDM has to offer, so... Enjoy!
Flux Pavilion - The Scientist
-> You know I love the UKF Dubstep Channel, you know that I love Flux Pavilion, and you know I love emphasizing my love for the both of them, so here goes another classic Flux Pavilion tune that I should have put on here long ago but for some reason failed to do so. Anyway, this song is just fucking awesome, great vocals, beautiful melody, and an outer-worldly drop that leaves your ears bleeding but your mind happy, so... Enjoy!
Well. This post turned out to be of a little more than average length, sifting through a couple of topics, but remaining a lot more organized than the previous mess I decided to publish. From gambling to risk-taking to freedom to mankind's overall failure. A nice, logically adjacent chain of themes I think. Or at least hope. Anyway. I hope that you've enjoyed this post, and want to apologize for missing the "deadline" (the quotes are there because I have shifted said date from being every other day to every week to every ten days, meaning that there is no real regularity and therefore also no real deadline to adhere to) by a couple of days once again. The main reason for it this time is that I am enjoying my holidays at the North Sea and only have my cellphone's mobile network to rely on, which sucks. But well, I hope you're not all too disappointed and have enjoyed the above ramblings.
Peace!
About Me
- Finley
- I am an aspiring freelance journalist, blogger, and writer. I mostly write opinion pieces about society, politics, music, and philosophy. If you're looking for any freelance work in that area, make sure to contact me via e-mail.
Showing posts with label eminem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eminem. Show all posts
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Why, oh why
can't I just stick to a fucking deadline? Well in the case of this post I have to say that I was so extremely busy with renovating and moving into my new flat that I literally did not even have the time to sit down and open my laptop the last week, making writing a post on an online platform such as Blogger quite impossible to do. Especially when carrying a cupboard up to the fourth floor. Which is the only real disadvantage that this move brings with itself. Otherwise the place is bigger, cheaper, and even closer to the train-station than my last flat, meaning that I can now sleep longer in the morning which suits my lazy lifestyle quite well. Plus we don't really have neighbors yet due to the fact that we were the first to rent an apartment in this house after it had been renovated, which means that we can essentially turn our music all the way up at any given time of day for the time being. Not that we're actually taking advantage of that fact though - I just fall into bed at night exhausted and fully drained of any energy by the carrying, painting, arranging, etc., meaning that I would be the main counter-force to any form of high-volume audio disturbance in the evening. Hm. Being physically active all day every day is really something I am not even remotely used to to be honest, and I can not for the life of me figure out how some people can say they enjoy that. At the end of the day I am literally dragging myself up the stairs, panting and sweating like a pig, unable to draw any oxygen from the air I am breathing and therefore on the brink of collapse. Which is also obviously because of my lifestyle, but physical activity is not helping in the least. I should probably go and see a doctor at some point, but well I figure that if my body withstood what I put it through so far it will be able to handle what's going to come as well. At least that's what I like to think. But I am getting off track as always, my original topic was my inability to stick to deadlines, but I think I've kind of exhausted that topic earlier already. I mean you know me well enough by now to realize that the rigidity of deadlines and regulations simply does not fit my personality. At all. But yeah, deadlines are useful and needed every now and then, so I am setting some for myself and albeit not even slightly adhering to them I am feeling a little guilty by doing so, especially since I enjoy writing these posts and entertaining you guys and gals. And for good or worse I will continue trying to stick to my own deadlines when it comes to doing so. Well. These words sound all well and nice, but the fact of the matter unfortunately is that I am already a week behind my regular posting time and not even close to having finished or even thought of a topic for this entry. Although I do have very good and very real reasons for it this time, seeing as as much as I would like to I cannot put real life on hold in order to go about writing, or "blogging" as this medium is commonly referred to.
I have never actually seen myself as a 'blogger' per se. I mean actual bloggers do research, prepare their posts and have schemes and strategies to attract new readers; these people have a well thought-out concept for their blogs. Whereas I only have a non-customized Google template and my ramblings to rely on. Come to think of it, I would much rather define myself as a voice of common sense lurking in the backlands of the internet, patiently waiting for the day that common sense is actually common again. Or as a psychotic wanna-be writer pandering to an equally psychotic audience that in reality is only a product of my deranged imagination. Or something somewhere in the middle of both. It actually doesn't matter, does it? Whatever I define my babbling here to be, there will be another, contradictory and probably better definition out there, so why bother? Plus I am not a big fan of categorizing art anyway. For me it somewhat defies the feelig of freedom and personal expression that all forms of art elicit to try and put labels on it. Takes away the essence. Imagine you're buying a novel, and it says "crime story" on it - you instantly have a certain image floating in your head, a certain expectation towards the book; your focus is turned to the "crime" elements of the story. The same exact manuscript could in all likelihood also be sold as a Thriller, an adventure story, or in extreme cases even as a love story. And you'd be focusing on entirely different aspects of the exact same thing, never realizing the core of what the artist was trying to convey. Furthermore these labels have a somber 1984-feeling to them, but that's probably just my paranoia that comes with almost two days of sleeplessness. Still. Ultimate control of the minds is what all forms of art seem to be geared to lately. I know that I have touched on this very topic in the last post already, but art, especially music, used to fucking mean something and was not just a publicity tool for big corporations like it is today. But well, this all sounds like the deluded thoughts of a mad man.
Which can of course be attributed to the lack of sleep I mentioned earlier, but seeing as that is entirely my fault I can not really complain about that. Plus I have gotten sleep by now and am sitting in a Coffeeshop with my laptop because I do not have internet in my new flat yet, quite simply because my fucking provider decided that it needs three weeks and thirty euros to do so, thereby actually forcing me to sit and write publicly, which just seems like a pathetic cry for attention to me, but seeing as I have no choice I'll just have to live with that.
There are quite a number of things that one just has to live/cope with in life. I've noticed that again quite recently. I do not have the ability to "correctly" handle certain highly emotional social intertwining that is often encountered in ones lifetime, and should therefore not engage in such. Which is something I actually found out a moderately long time ago, but for some reason felt that I had to put it to test again a few months ago. That of course resulted in the usual up-and-down which ultimately ended in a crash, like a roller-coaster ride in Final Destination. And whilst it is sad, devastating even, time has taught me to not wallow in these feelings, and rather just stick to first numbing and then forgetting. Which helps. Plus I have got people that I can talk to. And well, this blog right here. And for whatever reason my non-compatibility for relationships seems to be as much a part of me as my desire to write. Although I could not write for quite some time as you have noticed, I am still eager to do so and full of ramblings that need unleashing. But isn't it weird? I can cope with so many social situations and forms of emotional stress, but as soon as I become involved on a deeper emotional level this ability suddenly disappears and I am left as a shell of myself, unable to handle anything. For this very reason I have decided to once again opt out of the whole thing, this social binding that ends up the same way over and over again. Any form of it is ultimately doomed, or at least put to dire tests that most do not recover from. I know that I am being a cynical asshole. But there is an underlying truth in this statement that simply can not be ignored. "'till death do us part" - laughable in 90% of the cases. And even on a less "serious" level. It may be the "perfect couple", it may have lasted for what seems like forever, but in the end it's like flowers - it rots, decays, withers, and dies. Not a pretty outlook on life I know. Of course one may argue that that time passed before things perish is worth so much that entering into such an intertwining albeit knowing of its ultimate doom is still a favorable decision. But I'm not buying it anymore. I have seen these constructs crumble far too often as to believe in the fairy-tale ending that most people spend their entire life searching for. And well, as Hunter S. Thompson already said it perfectly, this search might end up in us not being lonely anymore, but we are ultimately and inevitably alone. So we better make damn sure to like ourselves because that's all we'll be left with in the end. I am drifting off-topic here though, the whole loneliness thing has already been discussed. My actual point is that no matter what we're being told by society and TV-soaps, the hard truth still remains: It all goes to shit at some point. Trust me it does. It might take days, months, years, centuries, or even a lifetime, but it will turn to complete shit and leave a hurtful mark somewhere, be it physically or psychologically. So why bother? Because we might reach a nice endorphin-high for a while before the chemical make-up of our brain manages to readjust itself? Because someone might be the illustrious "one"? Because we still desperately cling to the illusion of maybe not ending up alone? I don't fucking know, and it doesn't make any sense to me anymore. I mean, I know the sweet sweet feeling of finding a significant other and intertwining your life with that persons, and how intoxicating the entire process of "love" can be, trust me I do. But there are ways to resist that, there are ways to turn this nagging little voice inside us that keeps trying to get us hurt off. And I had managed to do so for quite a while actually, but well, I am just lacking years of experience. So I fell for the whole Disney-created bullshit once again rather recently. And it turned to shit, obviously. Which proves my point quite nicely in a rather twisted way. I mean it's not like I was ever planning on things going bad, but that's just the way life fucking is, and I have by now honestly gotten used to it. I have long ago accepted that I will not ever find true happiness in that particular area actually. Meaning that I probably should not have let some chemicals that went rogue in my brain trick me into believing that maybe I was actually just a cynical asshole wallowing in what he perceives the world to be, and not just a cynical asshole realizing how things go down on this little planet we call "Earth". Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Fuck all that. I am not going to do one of these posts examining my actions in retrospect and realizing how much better I could have done things. I know that already, no need to remind myself of it. Plus, believe it or not, there is actually a limit to the amount of information I am willing to disclose on here. This is still a public platform and I am not even pseudonymous, every human being with half a brain can figure out my real name, age, and town of residence by following a couple of links on this page. Which does not mean that I am somehow holding back when it comes to my opinion on things. I am just making sure that any real people involved in my life are kept out of here or at least obscured as much as possible, simply out of respect for these peoples' privacy. And well, there might always be certain types of persons within my audience that know me personally and do not necessarily need to know everything about me, meaning that I do put a certain filter, not content-, but formulation-wise on the things I post on here.
But nevertheless I am unable to get my mood to go up again since I have once again been proven right, and it's fucking annoying. Things are really going down lately. I mean asides from me ending up alone as usually. There's fights all around, people are ending friendships because of money and women, and I am simply caught in the middle like Malcolm, not wanting to partake in any of these stupid stressful quarrels. I have really got my own shit to worry about. I mean, would it actually come to a physical altercation I'd of course help out as much as my tar-filled black lungs and utter lack of sport would allow me to, but as long as people are just shouting at each other and sending angry SMS like fucking teenagers, I am not going to get involved in the slightest. Luckily enough, I have never been acting in a way that would provoke any aberrant behavior towards me, so I have the luxury of actually not having to take sides or any part in any of it. I am not saying that others have actually provoked anything, not at all actually. But well. If you show a certain form of, not disrespect per se, but rather a very brutal honesty when handling downright stupid and highly emotional people, you are taking a certain risk of having set in motion a chain-reaction that at some point leads to an angry dispute. I have always maintained a much more diplomatic and considerate approach, and did therefore not land in a spot where confrontation is inevitable, which in retrospect makes me quite happy. Not that this makes my situation any better or elevates my mood in any way, but I can at least find solace in the fact that when I hear shouting and pissed-off voices, it won't be of any concern to me. Still, the root of the entire thing is actually so easily solvable that it heavily bothers me that this is getting to a degree where no-one is even considering ever talking to the other person ever again. But I am really not in the mood nor do I have the emotional stability right now to get involved, so I'm just hoping that they'll manage to resolve matters on their own. Or at least reach a stage of passive co-existence. Whatever suits them best, I couldn't give less of a fuck to be honest.
But anyway, this topic is wearing me out by just writing about it, so I'll put a stop to it at this point. Looking up from my screen I see people enjoying the Coffeeshop as much as I would had I brought money. I am broke as a joke once again, and will need to ask a friend of mine to borrow me some cash, which is really annoying especially considering what's happening between other friends of mine because of essentially the same thing. Notwithstanding, I need to have some sort of financial liquidity until the month has the decency to finally end and stop his torturing grip on my wallet. Moving is expensive as fuck I tell you! It was worth it though, I needed to get the fuck away from my former landlords, I fucking hated these people and their affiliates. So all in all, despite having financially murdered me, I am really enjoying my first month in my new flat. Which I know is of no real interest to most of you, but I am really too exhausted from the weekend still to actually get into any more interesting topic right now. I was awake for three days in a row, and have so far only caught up on like 12 hours of sleep in the past two days, so I am still a tad disgruntled and grumpy, not feeling up to par yet. Which is entirely my own fault obviously. Nevertheless I feel like I've spent the night in a dumpster behind an abortion clinic of the early 30's. Quite disgusting to say the least. But well, I'll be fine again by tomorrow. One day at a time.
So, after having needed an entire month to actually complete this thing, I have to apologize once again, and as soon as my internet has been installed I will go back to posting almost-weekly as I have done so far. I hope this rather cynical and depressive post was still enjoyable to you, and hopefully opened your eyes on some issues. Or at least made you think about things, as always.
And also as always, you will be left with some good music...
Eminem - Drug Ballad
-> Awesome song that funnily describes the way drugs and people enjoying them interact whilst also showing that many things are exaggerated, and well amazingly delivered by Eminem as always. And although it is not really pro-drugs it sill has this nice fucked-up-up-junkie feeling to it that Eminem so perfectly created in many of his older songs. So all in all, great song, great lyrics, great artist... Enjoy!
Nate Dogg & Warren G feat. The Game - Party We Will Throw
-> Classic track that is simply awesome, legendary artists on a funky beat that just elicits this timeless west-coast feeling that is somehow lost in most of today's music... We really need a revival of the G-Funk by the way, but that's not the point here. No the point is that this is an amazing classic tune that you should definitely know, and well... Enjoy!
The Fugees - Killing Me Softly With His Song
-> Here goes yet another classic song that definitely needed featuring on here, Fugees are awesome anyway and Lauryn Hill has an amazing voice that really shines on this track, and well the HipHop drums in the background do give the whole song a nice alternate feeling to the original version without even slightly destroying its beauty, so... Enjoy!
Flux Pavilion & Dillon Francis - I'm The One
-> So this is what happens when you put two amazing artists on acid in a room and tell them to create a song and video... Cats that are accessing a sort of parallel world... Wow... The song in itself is quite good too, and well this out-of-worldly video puts the icing on the cake so to say, although it did kind of freak me out in an altered state of mind, but anyway... Enjoy!
LaRoux - In For The Kill (Skreams Let's Get Ravey Remix)
-> I'm not sure if I haven't posted this on here before but am too lazy to check right now to be honest, so I'll just hope I didn't or that nobody remembers if I did. Anyway, great remix by one of the earliest Dubstep artists in existence, and well this tune is just fucking epic, so... Enjoy!
Ey heb die Beine an - Jumpstyle
-> First off you will notice that I just copied the YouTube-videos name here. This is because I have no idea what artist produced this song or what the songs name actually is. All I know is that a friend introduced me to this a couple of weeks ago and although I am not usually all too fond of this kind of electronic music, I have to say that this song is fucking great, cool lyrics ("hey get your legs up, so that we can jump, as far as Amsterdam, if not now then when?" -> for all non-German readers, no need to thank me), and a nice melody, so... Enjoy!
AC/DC - Hells Bells
-> Fucking awesome song! That's almost all I have to say to it actually, you all know the score, AC/DC are a fucking legend and this song is also really great, so... Enjoy!
Korpiklaani - Beer Beer
-> Back in my heavy drinking and metal phase I used to love getting utterly wasted to this song, and although I don't do that as often anymore I still enjoy listening to this song for old time's sake and of course because it is pretty awesome and has a great melody to it, so... Enjoy!
Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
-> 'nuff said. Rest In Peace Freddie Mercury!
So, this turned out to be a long, erratic, depressive and cynical post that took a month to actually be posted online, which was for one due to force majeure, and secondly to my emotional turmoil at the time. But I hope I managed to create something nevertheless enjoyable to you, and will definitely be posting more regularly as soon as I have an internet access again.
Peace!
Which can of course be attributed to the lack of sleep I mentioned earlier, but seeing as that is entirely my fault I can not really complain about that. Plus I have gotten sleep by now and am sitting in a Coffeeshop with my laptop because I do not have internet in my new flat yet, quite simply because my fucking provider decided that it needs three weeks and thirty euros to do so, thereby actually forcing me to sit and write publicly, which just seems like a pathetic cry for attention to me, but seeing as I have no choice I'll just have to live with that.
There are quite a number of things that one just has to live/cope with in life. I've noticed that again quite recently. I do not have the ability to "correctly" handle certain highly emotional social intertwining that is often encountered in ones lifetime, and should therefore not engage in such. Which is something I actually found out a moderately long time ago, but for some reason felt that I had to put it to test again a few months ago. That of course resulted in the usual up-and-down which ultimately ended in a crash, like a roller-coaster ride in Final Destination. And whilst it is sad, devastating even, time has taught me to not wallow in these feelings, and rather just stick to first numbing and then forgetting. Which helps. Plus I have got people that I can talk to. And well, this blog right here. And for whatever reason my non-compatibility for relationships seems to be as much a part of me as my desire to write. Although I could not write for quite some time as you have noticed, I am still eager to do so and full of ramblings that need unleashing. But isn't it weird? I can cope with so many social situations and forms of emotional stress, but as soon as I become involved on a deeper emotional level this ability suddenly disappears and I am left as a shell of myself, unable to handle anything. For this very reason I have decided to once again opt out of the whole thing, this social binding that ends up the same way over and over again. Any form of it is ultimately doomed, or at least put to dire tests that most do not recover from. I know that I am being a cynical asshole. But there is an underlying truth in this statement that simply can not be ignored. "'till death do us part" - laughable in 90% of the cases. And even on a less "serious" level. It may be the "perfect couple", it may have lasted for what seems like forever, but in the end it's like flowers - it rots, decays, withers, and dies. Not a pretty outlook on life I know. Of course one may argue that that time passed before things perish is worth so much that entering into such an intertwining albeit knowing of its ultimate doom is still a favorable decision. But I'm not buying it anymore. I have seen these constructs crumble far too often as to believe in the fairy-tale ending that most people spend their entire life searching for. And well, as Hunter S. Thompson already said it perfectly, this search might end up in us not being lonely anymore, but we are ultimately and inevitably alone. So we better make damn sure to like ourselves because that's all we'll be left with in the end. I am drifting off-topic here though, the whole loneliness thing has already been discussed. My actual point is that no matter what we're being told by society and TV-soaps, the hard truth still remains: It all goes to shit at some point. Trust me it does. It might take days, months, years, centuries, or even a lifetime, but it will turn to complete shit and leave a hurtful mark somewhere, be it physically or psychologically. So why bother? Because we might reach a nice endorphin-high for a while before the chemical make-up of our brain manages to readjust itself? Because someone might be the illustrious "one"? Because we still desperately cling to the illusion of maybe not ending up alone? I don't fucking know, and it doesn't make any sense to me anymore. I mean, I know the sweet sweet feeling of finding a significant other and intertwining your life with that persons, and how intoxicating the entire process of "love" can be, trust me I do. But there are ways to resist that, there are ways to turn this nagging little voice inside us that keeps trying to get us hurt off. And I had managed to do so for quite a while actually, but well, I am just lacking years of experience. So I fell for the whole Disney-created bullshit once again rather recently. And it turned to shit, obviously. Which proves my point quite nicely in a rather twisted way. I mean it's not like I was ever planning on things going bad, but that's just the way life fucking is, and I have by now honestly gotten used to it. I have long ago accepted that I will not ever find true happiness in that particular area actually. Meaning that I probably should not have let some chemicals that went rogue in my brain trick me into believing that maybe I was actually just a cynical asshole wallowing in what he perceives the world to be, and not just a cynical asshole realizing how things go down on this little planet we call "Earth". Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Fuck all that. I am not going to do one of these posts examining my actions in retrospect and realizing how much better I could have done things. I know that already, no need to remind myself of it. Plus, believe it or not, there is actually a limit to the amount of information I am willing to disclose on here. This is still a public platform and I am not even pseudonymous, every human being with half a brain can figure out my real name, age, and town of residence by following a couple of links on this page. Which does not mean that I am somehow holding back when it comes to my opinion on things. I am just making sure that any real people involved in my life are kept out of here or at least obscured as much as possible, simply out of respect for these peoples' privacy. And well, there might always be certain types of persons within my audience that know me personally and do not necessarily need to know everything about me, meaning that I do put a certain filter, not content-, but formulation-wise on the things I post on here.
But nevertheless I am unable to get my mood to go up again since I have once again been proven right, and it's fucking annoying. Things are really going down lately. I mean asides from me ending up alone as usually. There's fights all around, people are ending friendships because of money and women, and I am simply caught in the middle like Malcolm, not wanting to partake in any of these stupid stressful quarrels. I have really got my own shit to worry about. I mean, would it actually come to a physical altercation I'd of course help out as much as my tar-filled black lungs and utter lack of sport would allow me to, but as long as people are just shouting at each other and sending angry SMS like fucking teenagers, I am not going to get involved in the slightest. Luckily enough, I have never been acting in a way that would provoke any aberrant behavior towards me, so I have the luxury of actually not having to take sides or any part in any of it. I am not saying that others have actually provoked anything, not at all actually. But well. If you show a certain form of, not disrespect per se, but rather a very brutal honesty when handling downright stupid and highly emotional people, you are taking a certain risk of having set in motion a chain-reaction that at some point leads to an angry dispute. I have always maintained a much more diplomatic and considerate approach, and did therefore not land in a spot where confrontation is inevitable, which in retrospect makes me quite happy. Not that this makes my situation any better or elevates my mood in any way, but I can at least find solace in the fact that when I hear shouting and pissed-off voices, it won't be of any concern to me. Still, the root of the entire thing is actually so easily solvable that it heavily bothers me that this is getting to a degree where no-one is even considering ever talking to the other person ever again. But I am really not in the mood nor do I have the emotional stability right now to get involved, so I'm just hoping that they'll manage to resolve matters on their own. Or at least reach a stage of passive co-existence. Whatever suits them best, I couldn't give less of a fuck to be honest.
But anyway, this topic is wearing me out by just writing about it, so I'll put a stop to it at this point. Looking up from my screen I see people enjoying the Coffeeshop as much as I would had I brought money. I am broke as a joke once again, and will need to ask a friend of mine to borrow me some cash, which is really annoying especially considering what's happening between other friends of mine because of essentially the same thing. Notwithstanding, I need to have some sort of financial liquidity until the month has the decency to finally end and stop his torturing grip on my wallet. Moving is expensive as fuck I tell you! It was worth it though, I needed to get the fuck away from my former landlords, I fucking hated these people and their affiliates. So all in all, despite having financially murdered me, I am really enjoying my first month in my new flat. Which I know is of no real interest to most of you, but I am really too exhausted from the weekend still to actually get into any more interesting topic right now. I was awake for three days in a row, and have so far only caught up on like 12 hours of sleep in the past two days, so I am still a tad disgruntled and grumpy, not feeling up to par yet. Which is entirely my own fault obviously. Nevertheless I feel like I've spent the night in a dumpster behind an abortion clinic of the early 30's. Quite disgusting to say the least. But well, I'll be fine again by tomorrow. One day at a time.
So, after having needed an entire month to actually complete this thing, I have to apologize once again, and as soon as my internet has been installed I will go back to posting almost-weekly as I have done so far. I hope this rather cynical and depressive post was still enjoyable to you, and hopefully opened your eyes on some issues. Or at least made you think about things, as always.
And also as always, you will be left with some good music...
Eminem - Drug Ballad
-> Awesome song that funnily describes the way drugs and people enjoying them interact whilst also showing that many things are exaggerated, and well amazingly delivered by Eminem as always. And although it is not really pro-drugs it sill has this nice fucked-up-up-junkie feeling to it that Eminem so perfectly created in many of his older songs. So all in all, great song, great lyrics, great artist... Enjoy!
Nate Dogg & Warren G feat. The Game - Party We Will Throw
-> Classic track that is simply awesome, legendary artists on a funky beat that just elicits this timeless west-coast feeling that is somehow lost in most of today's music... We really need a revival of the G-Funk by the way, but that's not the point here. No the point is that this is an amazing classic tune that you should definitely know, and well... Enjoy!
The Fugees - Killing Me Softly With His Song
-> Here goes yet another classic song that definitely needed featuring on here, Fugees are awesome anyway and Lauryn Hill has an amazing voice that really shines on this track, and well the HipHop drums in the background do give the whole song a nice alternate feeling to the original version without even slightly destroying its beauty, so... Enjoy!
Flux Pavilion & Dillon Francis - I'm The One
-> So this is what happens when you put two amazing artists on acid in a room and tell them to create a song and video... Cats that are accessing a sort of parallel world... Wow... The song in itself is quite good too, and well this out-of-worldly video puts the icing on the cake so to say, although it did kind of freak me out in an altered state of mind, but anyway... Enjoy!
LaRoux - In For The Kill (Skreams Let's Get Ravey Remix)
-> I'm not sure if I haven't posted this on here before but am too lazy to check right now to be honest, so I'll just hope I didn't or that nobody remembers if I did. Anyway, great remix by one of the earliest Dubstep artists in existence, and well this tune is just fucking epic, so... Enjoy!
Ey heb die Beine an - Jumpstyle
-> First off you will notice that I just copied the YouTube-videos name here. This is because I have no idea what artist produced this song or what the songs name actually is. All I know is that a friend introduced me to this a couple of weeks ago and although I am not usually all too fond of this kind of electronic music, I have to say that this song is fucking great, cool lyrics ("hey get your legs up, so that we can jump, as far as Amsterdam, if not now then when?" -> for all non-German readers, no need to thank me), and a nice melody, so... Enjoy!
AC/DC - Hells Bells
-> Fucking awesome song! That's almost all I have to say to it actually, you all know the score, AC/DC are a fucking legend and this song is also really great, so... Enjoy!
Korpiklaani - Beer Beer
-> Back in my heavy drinking and metal phase I used to love getting utterly wasted to this song, and although I don't do that as often anymore I still enjoy listening to this song for old time's sake and of course because it is pretty awesome and has a great melody to it, so... Enjoy!
Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
-> 'nuff said. Rest In Peace Freddie Mercury!
So, this turned out to be a long, erratic, depressive and cynical post that took a month to actually be posted online, which was for one due to force majeure, and secondly to my emotional turmoil at the time. But I hope I managed to create something nevertheless enjoyable to you, and will definitely be posting more regularly as soon as I have an internet access again.
Peace!
Sunday, April 27, 2014
I can't dance
or sing for that matter. That is what I just realized whilst sitting here in Statistics class and internally whistling the Scissor Sisters song. It's not something that bothers me or anything, I have always had a strong stance against the social convention of dressing up prettily and moving to the tact of classical music with a partner. Which is something that people do not seem to understand, but I personally have always seen dancing as an act of ultimate conformity to an ancient, obsolete system and equally dated values. And fuck me if I am going to do that, I have not ever been convinced by anyone to do so, and whilst some may see it differently, I treat that as an accomplishment. A pretty huge one actually, given the pressure multiple parties put me under when graduation day approached. But like a rock in the surge I remained resilient against any and all tries to get me to "finally" learn how to dance. Fucking hell, those people were annoying. Like my memory of that day would have been enhanced by the knowledge that I moved around to stupid-ass music like a fucking clone. It would actually have been worsened by it, which is why I stayed strong, and, in spite of all pleas and offers, did not join in when "all the graduates" were asked to "come down to the floor", but rather stayed in the back with a good friend of mine enjoying my beer, my decision, and my life in general. It was a good night. And the faces of pure confusion and anger on my classmates' faces when they realized that I was actually being serious was fucking priceless to say the least. Just remembering that evening actually causes a big grin to appear on my face, and isn't that what really counts? That I can personally look back at my graduation party and know that I enjoyed myself there. Even if doing so meant that I had to piss off quite a lot of people.
But well, it's not like I have ever cared about them or their opinions. And that's not only referring to my former classmates, some of which were actually alright, but rather to mankind altogether. "I just don't give a fuck.", as Eminem so fittingly put it. Which applies to me in a lot of ways. I simply do not care about so many things. That is a kind of behavior that has been prevalent throughout my existence, but always in different forms. I have not given a fuck all throughout high school, which back then showed itself in me skipping classes and living as unhealthily as possible. But those were mainly my hormones acting up I guess. Nowadays I have just stopped giving a fuck about society and my place within it. And I have stopped caring so much that I am the most tolerant person you'll ever meet, because I simply have no interest in your color of skin, sexual preferences, and way of dressing or acting. At all. "Live and let live" are real words to live by here. As long as you don't annoy me, I won't annoy you. And if you try to annoy me I will just leave. It's as simple as that, and if more people thought that way, the world would be a much better place. But I have touched on this issue before. Notwithstanding I am feeling a sudden urge to write about it again, but am rather doubtful that I will come to any fresh conclusions or revelations in the course of doing so. Is it really that hard to find new topics though? I mean not only here, but more like generally. My entire way of being and thinking seems to revolve around a few central themes and issues that change in manifestation but never in essence. It all boils down to the same exact stew. And whilst that may seem like something one would easily get sick and tired of, I don't actually mind. For reasons outlined above mainly. Even if my life were the monotonous dulling glob that I fear it is sometimes, why should I care? I am quite happy with the way things are going lately, and have always had a certain sense of contentedness in my life. In some periods that was essentially gone, but it always remained lingering in the background of my psyche. Which can once again be related to the fact that not giving a fuck makes you de facto happy, seeing as when you just don't care about things they quickly stop bothering you. So, am I perpetuating the "yolo" lifestyle that has apparently become dominant in my generation by saying that not giving a fuck is the way to go? I like to think that I'm not. It is so fucking pathetic to use that slogan as an excuse for incredibly stupid and at times dangerous behavior. I mean you know my feelings towards drug-use and similar things, but there is such a thing as doing it smartly, and in moderation. And the people that actually use such slogans as a way to define their "unique" lifestyle are just fucking idiots. Such. Fucking. Idiots. Which is why I draw a very clear line between these fuckers and myself. My definition of not giving a fuck and living life for the day differs largely from what these... creatures believe to be the "right way to go, man". I mean there is an obvious difference between healthy non-caring and deliberately getting into dangerous situations. Even if it may seem similar, and even though the reasons might be akin to each other, the resulting personalities are extremely different. So fucking different that I feel the need to make sure I am not ever thrown into a pot with these fucking parasites. Behaving like a jackass does not make you "cool" or give you "swag". And I should kill myself for even using a word like the latter. But I am in need of making a point, so it's somewhat appropriate. Anyway, it seems that nowadays the common denominator among these people is that stupidity and recklessness pay off, or make you cool. I mean what the hell? That is just too idiotic to be put into words. Actually it's sad. How youth culture has deteriorated since "the good old days" that I myself unfortunately never experienced is fucking depressing to say the least. Damn, I sound like an old hippie reminiscing the sixties: "Back in the Woodstock days our movement meant something man, we were changing the world one trip at a time". Ha. Albeit being too cliche for words, this sentence holds a truth. Not caring about the obsolete societal system in place used to be expressed in political songs and demonstrations combined with heavy use of psychoactive substances. But nowadays it's simply not about the real anymore. Nowadays that carelessness is expressed in idiocy, which is of course exactly the way the system in place and those guarding it want it to be: "Let the idiots live their pathetic fantasies while we're making cash and brainwashing future generations with our poisoned, foul, and rotten ideologies". And without noticing it, a lot of people are simply playing into that, doing what they're supposed to, functioning without thinking, not smoking but drinking, and slowly turning into lifeless shells that have more resemblance to decaying cadavers than to human beings. This can essentially be related back to a few of my anti-society posts, but I think I've never touched on this particular aspect before.
Actually, let's look at it from another perspective. Think about a nightclub, or a rave. What does it look like these days? There's sluts in skirts barely covering any flesh weirdly shaking their behinds to bad electronic music with even worse vocals, there's the guys that only come out of the gym for the party and look like a drunk Schwarzenegger copy (which is not a fucking compliment by the way), and there's your typical aggressive asshole only looking for a fight. And what happens there? Well, the sluts usually get fucked by the Schwarzeneggers at some point, the assholes get into fights with each other, and "normal" club-goers like me have long left because the scene was too obscene and depraved to bear. Now think about the same place or event, but 30 to 50 years ago. There were close to no fights. There were no totally-ripped, abercrombie&fitch wearing douches. There were sluts, but they weren't instantly recognizable as such, and there was at least a little work involved to get into their pants. The people were not there because they wanted to make sure that everyone sees how fucking cool they feel they are, no, the people were there to drop some acid, pop a couple of pills, and be unified in happiness and dance. They felt a sense of togetherness within the music; they felt as part of a movement that tuned in and dropped out just for the heck of it, but also as a statement to authority, society, and the conservative system. These day-dreaming hippies had more political ambition in their little finger than today's club-goers will ever have in their entire being. And that is just fucking sad. I mean of course, going out shouldn't have to be a sign of protest every time, and it should of course be about having fun, but that's not even the way it is nowadays. No, these days going out feels like going to a beauty-contest of sorts; everybody is trying to look better than the next person, everyone is trying to show that they can do the most drugs ('combat-drinking' as it is called in Germany, and yes alcohol is a drug, actually one of the worst ones there are), and no-one is showing that they're just fucking stoked to be there with all the similar-minded people. Simply because people are not even close to being similar to each other anymore, and everyone is going to these clubs for a plethora of different reasons, meaning that the unison that was felt "back in the days" is completely out of the picture. And that is what is most sad - people are competing instead of co-operating, hating instead of loving, and destroying instead of creating. We need to go back to what the students in '69 were trying to convey to us: Peace, Love, and Harmony. As much as these words sound like cliches of a stoned acid-freak, it would make the world a much better place if everyone just tried to apply the underlying concept to their own lives. So much better. But well, that's not the way a "normal" human being is supposed to be apparently, no, we're geared for competition in all aspects of our existence, we're taught to always outsmart and outdo others in order to succeed. We need to fucking change our way of thinking. Or we'll just use our nukes at some point and wipe ourselves out completely. Which would probably be best anyway.
Well, all that is essentially left to say is that I really hope that at least some of you will try and incorporate the thoughts expressed above into your lives, if just a couple people would behave differently and try to achieve harmony with their surroundings, I would be extremely happy. But anyway, I hope I have at least given you something to think about, or reminded you of values long forgotten. And well, at this point I will as always leave you with some good music:
Showtek - Fuck The System
-> Oh my god. How much better of a song could I have picked? He essentially reiterates the thoughts expressed above, and well although hardstyle is not my all-time favorite kind of music, this song gets really well after the somewhat boring intro. And well, for all of you impatient people that want to know what the fuck I was talking about when I said he essentially says the same as me, fast forward to 0:59. But anyway, this song holds so much truth, and really expresses words to live by more or less if you ask me, so... Enjoy!
Torqux - No Way Back
-> Look, I've spent some time on the UKF Dubstep channel once again, and stumbled upon this dark beauty here. Amazing intro that sound somewhat familiar (if anyone knows where I could know it from please let me know!), slowly building up to insane drops and an overall musical awesomeness with an extremely heavy, somber feel to it. Well, an all in all amazing tune, so... Enjoy!
D12 - Purple Pills
-> "Cool, calm, just like my mom, with a couple of Valium inside her palm" Eminem was so much better on drugs. Like most artists actually, as soon as they're clean they stop making this creatively fucked up and awesomely funny music. But well, this song is just so fucking great, I can't even put into words how much I enjoy listening to it over and over and over again, it's just such a drug-enthusiastic track couple with D12's unique humor. This tune is so great you have no choice but to... Enjoy! (it)
Eminem - The Kids
-> "Drugs are bad, m'kay?" Haha. Well, I have to say that I usually don't feature an artist twice in one post, but well, this song just needed to be here because it is as awesome as the one above, and just sarcastically shows the extreme examples that are always made up in the media when it comes to the topic of drugs, making this song even more awesome, and well Eminem's humor is just so great. And yeah, I have noticed that the lyrics' timing is way off, but I couldn't find another video right now, so you'll just have to live with that. Anyway, this song is fucking awesome, so... Enjoy!
The Beatles - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
-> Some say this song was based on a picture John Lennon's son, but I believe it is about LSD (as do many others). It just describes this incredibly individual and spiritual drug so perfectly, it shows how abstract it is and how little one can actually say about it. And well "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". And the trippy-ass video that looks like it was thought up whilst on acid anyway. Regardless of the songs content though, it is musically awesome and The Beatles were just a great band, so...Enjoy!
Deep Purple - Child In Time
-> Here is another psychedelic classic, this time by Deep Purple, and well... music like this just isn't made anymore. The incredible vocals, the drums, the guitar, just everything, it's like a perfect orgasm slowly rising and coming to an amazingly beautiful finale. This is one of the songs that remind of why I enjoy music so much, it reminds me that I was born way too late, and shows how fucking talented musicians used to be. All in all, it's just an amazing tune that everyone should know, and if you don't you're in for a treat, so... Enjoy!
Well, I once again fucked up the deadline, didn't I? But not as badly as last time, this post took only 10 days instead of eleven to be completed. Which is still three days too much, but I'm slowly getting there. Anyway, this entry is mostly concerning itself with society, not giving a fuck, and drugs, which are very dominant themes in this blog, but well, these are also the things I spent most of my time thinking about, so I put these thoughts down here. Plus I am really trying to slowly work through all aspects of these topics. Which is impossible to do in a single post, so I am always rehashing these subjects in a different light, which is hopefully enjoyable to you.
Peace!
But well, it's not like I have ever cared about them or their opinions. And that's not only referring to my former classmates, some of which were actually alright, but rather to mankind altogether. "I just don't give a fuck.", as Eminem so fittingly put it. Which applies to me in a lot of ways. I simply do not care about so many things. That is a kind of behavior that has been prevalent throughout my existence, but always in different forms. I have not given a fuck all throughout high school, which back then showed itself in me skipping classes and living as unhealthily as possible. But those were mainly my hormones acting up I guess. Nowadays I have just stopped giving a fuck about society and my place within it. And I have stopped caring so much that I am the most tolerant person you'll ever meet, because I simply have no interest in your color of skin, sexual preferences, and way of dressing or acting. At all. "Live and let live" are real words to live by here. As long as you don't annoy me, I won't annoy you. And if you try to annoy me I will just leave. It's as simple as that, and if more people thought that way, the world would be a much better place. But I have touched on this issue before. Notwithstanding I am feeling a sudden urge to write about it again, but am rather doubtful that I will come to any fresh conclusions or revelations in the course of doing so. Is it really that hard to find new topics though? I mean not only here, but more like generally. My entire way of being and thinking seems to revolve around a few central themes and issues that change in manifestation but never in essence. It all boils down to the same exact stew. And whilst that may seem like something one would easily get sick and tired of, I don't actually mind. For reasons outlined above mainly. Even if my life were the monotonous dulling glob that I fear it is sometimes, why should I care? I am quite happy with the way things are going lately, and have always had a certain sense of contentedness in my life. In some periods that was essentially gone, but it always remained lingering in the background of my psyche. Which can once again be related to the fact that not giving a fuck makes you de facto happy, seeing as when you just don't care about things they quickly stop bothering you. So, am I perpetuating the "yolo" lifestyle that has apparently become dominant in my generation by saying that not giving a fuck is the way to go? I like to think that I'm not. It is so fucking pathetic to use that slogan as an excuse for incredibly stupid and at times dangerous behavior. I mean you know my feelings towards drug-use and similar things, but there is such a thing as doing it smartly, and in moderation. And the people that actually use such slogans as a way to define their "unique" lifestyle are just fucking idiots. Such. Fucking. Idiots. Which is why I draw a very clear line between these fuckers and myself. My definition of not giving a fuck and living life for the day differs largely from what these... creatures believe to be the "right way to go, man". I mean there is an obvious difference between healthy non-caring and deliberately getting into dangerous situations. Even if it may seem similar, and even though the reasons might be akin to each other, the resulting personalities are extremely different. So fucking different that I feel the need to make sure I am not ever thrown into a pot with these fucking parasites. Behaving like a jackass does not make you "cool" or give you "swag". And I should kill myself for even using a word like the latter. But I am in need of making a point, so it's somewhat appropriate. Anyway, it seems that nowadays the common denominator among these people is that stupidity and recklessness pay off, or make you cool. I mean what the hell? That is just too idiotic to be put into words. Actually it's sad. How youth culture has deteriorated since "the good old days" that I myself unfortunately never experienced is fucking depressing to say the least. Damn, I sound like an old hippie reminiscing the sixties: "Back in the Woodstock days our movement meant something man, we were changing the world one trip at a time". Ha. Albeit being too cliche for words, this sentence holds a truth. Not caring about the obsolete societal system in place used to be expressed in political songs and demonstrations combined with heavy use of psychoactive substances. But nowadays it's simply not about the real anymore. Nowadays that carelessness is expressed in idiocy, which is of course exactly the way the system in place and those guarding it want it to be: "Let the idiots live their pathetic fantasies while we're making cash and brainwashing future generations with our poisoned, foul, and rotten ideologies". And without noticing it, a lot of people are simply playing into that, doing what they're supposed to, functioning without thinking, not smoking but drinking, and slowly turning into lifeless shells that have more resemblance to decaying cadavers than to human beings. This can essentially be related back to a few of my anti-society posts, but I think I've never touched on this particular aspect before.
Actually, let's look at it from another perspective. Think about a nightclub, or a rave. What does it look like these days? There's sluts in skirts barely covering any flesh weirdly shaking their behinds to bad electronic music with even worse vocals, there's the guys that only come out of the gym for the party and look like a drunk Schwarzenegger copy (which is not a fucking compliment by the way), and there's your typical aggressive asshole only looking for a fight. And what happens there? Well, the sluts usually get fucked by the Schwarzeneggers at some point, the assholes get into fights with each other, and "normal" club-goers like me have long left because the scene was too obscene and depraved to bear. Now think about the same place or event, but 30 to 50 years ago. There were close to no fights. There were no totally-ripped, abercrombie&fitch wearing douches. There were sluts, but they weren't instantly recognizable as such, and there was at least a little work involved to get into their pants. The people were not there because they wanted to make sure that everyone sees how fucking cool they feel they are, no, the people were there to drop some acid, pop a couple of pills, and be unified in happiness and dance. They felt a sense of togetherness within the music; they felt as part of a movement that tuned in and dropped out just for the heck of it, but also as a statement to authority, society, and the conservative system. These day-dreaming hippies had more political ambition in their little finger than today's club-goers will ever have in their entire being. And that is just fucking sad. I mean of course, going out shouldn't have to be a sign of protest every time, and it should of course be about having fun, but that's not even the way it is nowadays. No, these days going out feels like going to a beauty-contest of sorts; everybody is trying to look better than the next person, everyone is trying to show that they can do the most drugs ('combat-drinking' as it is called in Germany, and yes alcohol is a drug, actually one of the worst ones there are), and no-one is showing that they're just fucking stoked to be there with all the similar-minded people. Simply because people are not even close to being similar to each other anymore, and everyone is going to these clubs for a plethora of different reasons, meaning that the unison that was felt "back in the days" is completely out of the picture. And that is what is most sad - people are competing instead of co-operating, hating instead of loving, and destroying instead of creating. We need to go back to what the students in '69 were trying to convey to us: Peace, Love, and Harmony. As much as these words sound like cliches of a stoned acid-freak, it would make the world a much better place if everyone just tried to apply the underlying concept to their own lives. So much better. But well, that's not the way a "normal" human being is supposed to be apparently, no, we're geared for competition in all aspects of our existence, we're taught to always outsmart and outdo others in order to succeed. We need to fucking change our way of thinking. Or we'll just use our nukes at some point and wipe ourselves out completely. Which would probably be best anyway.
Well, all that is essentially left to say is that I really hope that at least some of you will try and incorporate the thoughts expressed above into your lives, if just a couple people would behave differently and try to achieve harmony with their surroundings, I would be extremely happy. But anyway, I hope I have at least given you something to think about, or reminded you of values long forgotten. And well, at this point I will as always leave you with some good music:
Showtek - Fuck The System
-> Oh my god. How much better of a song could I have picked? He essentially reiterates the thoughts expressed above, and well although hardstyle is not my all-time favorite kind of music, this song gets really well after the somewhat boring intro. And well, for all of you impatient people that want to know what the fuck I was talking about when I said he essentially says the same as me, fast forward to 0:59. But anyway, this song holds so much truth, and really expresses words to live by more or less if you ask me, so... Enjoy!
Torqux - No Way Back
-> Look, I've spent some time on the UKF Dubstep channel once again, and stumbled upon this dark beauty here. Amazing intro that sound somewhat familiar (if anyone knows where I could know it from please let me know!), slowly building up to insane drops and an overall musical awesomeness with an extremely heavy, somber feel to it. Well, an all in all amazing tune, so... Enjoy!
D12 - Purple Pills
-> "Cool, calm, just like my mom, with a couple of Valium inside her palm" Eminem was so much better on drugs. Like most artists actually, as soon as they're clean they stop making this creatively fucked up and awesomely funny music. But well, this song is just so fucking great, I can't even put into words how much I enjoy listening to it over and over and over again, it's just such a drug-enthusiastic track couple with D12's unique humor. This tune is so great you have no choice but to... Enjoy! (it)
Eminem - The Kids
-> "Drugs are bad, m'kay?" Haha. Well, I have to say that I usually don't feature an artist twice in one post, but well, this song just needed to be here because it is as awesome as the one above, and just sarcastically shows the extreme examples that are always made up in the media when it comes to the topic of drugs, making this song even more awesome, and well Eminem's humor is just so great. And yeah, I have noticed that the lyrics' timing is way off, but I couldn't find another video right now, so you'll just have to live with that. Anyway, this song is fucking awesome, so... Enjoy!
The Beatles - Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
-> Some say this song was based on a picture John Lennon's son, but I believe it is about LSD (as do many others). It just describes this incredibly individual and spiritual drug so perfectly, it shows how abstract it is and how little one can actually say about it. And well "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". And the trippy-ass video that looks like it was thought up whilst on acid anyway. Regardless of the songs content though, it is musically awesome and The Beatles were just a great band, so...Enjoy!
Deep Purple - Child In Time
-> Here is another psychedelic classic, this time by Deep Purple, and well... music like this just isn't made anymore. The incredible vocals, the drums, the guitar, just everything, it's like a perfect orgasm slowly rising and coming to an amazingly beautiful finale. This is one of the songs that remind of why I enjoy music so much, it reminds me that I was born way too late, and shows how fucking talented musicians used to be. All in all, it's just an amazing tune that everyone should know, and if you don't you're in for a treat, so... Enjoy!
Well, I once again fucked up the deadline, didn't I? But not as badly as last time, this post took only 10 days instead of eleven to be completed. Which is still three days too much, but I'm slowly getting there. Anyway, this entry is mostly concerning itself with society, not giving a fuck, and drugs, which are very dominant themes in this blog, but well, these are also the things I spent most of my time thinking about, so I put these thoughts down here. Plus I am really trying to slowly work through all aspects of these topics. Which is impossible to do in a single post, so I am always rehashing these subjects in a different light, which is hopefully enjoyable to you.
Peace!
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Well...
...today was a lazy-ass day for me. I woke up around 12:00, but stayed in bed until around 17:00, with the only exception being one small sport and a couple of bathroom breaks, otherwise full-on chilling on my couch with no interruptions :D
And I had so much planned for today; I was going to work on some things for university, maybe clean the apartment and go out to buy groceries, but, alas, I was couch-locked by tiredness and hits from the bong and therefore could not get myself to do a damn thing.
As much as I really want to complain about it though, I do not have any reason to do so, seeing as I love being lazy, I just love it. For me personally, the perfect day is a day like today. No movement, no stress, no nuisance, just a couch, a PC, a TV and high-speed internet access. Life is sweet!
The only problem the keeps recurring is that damned socially-indoctrinated feeling of guilt when doing so, it's like we were conditioned not to be lazy, and, when we are, our subconscious is fighting it out of the internal reflex that brands being lazy as a bad thing, when it really is not altogether.
Of course, laziness can cost you a lot of opportunities, but it also opens a variety of different paths to the same basic results, because most lazy people want to get there, but want to do so with as little effort as possible, and therefore usually manage to find some sort of shortcut through, or way around, obstacles on the way there.
At least that is what I like to believe.
On the other hand, my theory has been proven right a lot of times throughout my life so far, but then again, the opposite was proved almost as often, so I guess, being lazy in moderation is the right way to go, because, as always, it's the dose that makes the poison.
Well, not as always per se, but as in most of the cases where the saying could be applicable.
Speaking of laziness, I was once actually too lazy, among other states of mind, to move a mouse that was a mere 5 centimeters away from my hand in order to put on a new episode of a sitcom a friend and I were watching, so we literally watched the same episode over and over again until his laptop mercifully ran out of power and finally allowed me to sleep. That's how far laziness can go under the right circumstances.
That was a fun weekend anyway, we camped somewhere next to a road in some woods in China and got really really fucked up, it was quite awesome, I like to think back to that.
So, after having told this random story, I believe we have arrived to a point in this post where my continued 'talking' would just make things less and less interesting for you, so here are, as usually, the links to some great songs:
-> Very well-known song, extremely popular artist, but Eminem is a fucking legend, so a few of his songs will pop up here from time to time, and this one is really great and funnily made!
-> Well, Eminem was already playing so I stumbled upon this gem once again, haven't heard this song in eternity, imho one of the best songs of the entire album
-> Don't know how I ended up here, but this song is also very great, very chill beginning, then an awesome drop; so an all in all nice track, definitely worth listening to entirely!
-> Here is some Dutch rap that I really enjoy, the dude looks chill, I like his flow and the whole song is just a great piece of music!
-> I have no clue at all whether you guys like this kind of music at all, it's somewhat of Nu-Metal/Crossover, essentially "metal" guitar playing with rapping and some sort of singing/screaming/growling incorporated into the hook, which I used to hate like three or four years ago, but nowadays I can actually enjoy it, tell me how you like it
-> Well, lots of people have mixed feelings towards the whole "Snoop Lion" thing, but I personally think it's great that Snoop has found another purpose in life and now preaches peace and reggae, I mean, why not, it's good for him, and we get to enjoy Snoop singing Reggae songs
So, this concludes today's entry, I know it wasn't overly long or filled with tons of relevant content, but I do hope that it was still enjoyable!
Peace!
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